Chapter 8 #3
They all turned to look at Will, who gave an apologetic smile.
‘Well, I can’t really come over in the middle of the night, and I’m not sure how Ray would feel about me “keeping you company”, but last time I asked how you were you said you were “that knackered, I’m expecting vultures to start squabbling over who’ll get the first peck at my half-dead body”. ’
Merry huffed. ‘If I’ve got three friends, then why is Darya giving me such a hard time?’
‘I’m merely pointing out that you need us as much as we need you,’ Darya said, serenely.
‘Anyway, if I may please continue without anyone else feeling the need to defend their sorry social lives? We have one word for every day in December. During the day, each of us will share an image of ourselves incorporating this word. Some of you chose the same words, so we still have three empty days. Alex, would you like to complete the calendar for us?’
She gestured to Donovan, who slid over a printed sheet with a list of words on it. I scanned them quickly.
There were some more obvious words like fun, brave, helpful.
Others that I felt immediately apprehensive about, including ‘together’ and ‘wild’. I didn’t know which one I found most uncomfortable: ‘romantic’, ‘cool’, or ‘sparkly’.
I thought for a minute before adding, ‘Spontaneous’, ‘invigorating’ and ‘funny’.
As I handed it back, my eyes rested on another word: ‘Joyful’.
I sat back, stunned.
A seasonal word, but if felt like a foreign language.
I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d experienced joy.
I had felt it, I convinced myself, when I’d held Lacey’s babies for the first time, or the odd occasion I’d managed to catch their school play or they’d snuggled in while we read a story together.
Outside of my nieces and nephews, though, the only thing I could think of was when I’d helped a client to make real progress. Even then, these days that feeling was far more akin to professional satisfaction than joy.
I couldn’t believe that for the past decade I’d considered myself qualified to improve other people’s lives. I’d become famous for helping people be happier and more successful. How had it taken me blurting it out for anyone to notice I was a big fat hypocrite?
I thought about the rest of the words on that sheet: inspiring, kind, relaxing. Words that bore no resemblance to me, or the life I’d been so smug about creating for myself.
Whew. I needed this advent challenge more than anybody. Somebody sign me up, quick.
‘Thank you, Darya,’ Donovan said. ‘Now, party time!’
A party? We’d already had cake and lunch. It was one-forty-five and the group finished at two. The storm was definitely passing, the gloom lifting as the raindrops eased to a gentle patter, so we weren’t going to be trapped here.
Will leant closer to explain. His woodsy scent, tinged with a hint of something chemical, was already starting to grow familiar. I ordered my affection-starved emotions to get a damn grip.
‘We meet twice a month here, then once a month for an activity, like maybe a walk, or we’ve done mini-golf and an escape room. The fourth Thursday, one of us hosts a themed party. The theme of which is decided by a random letter of the alphabet.’
‘Right,’ Joel said, pushing a small paper gift bag over to Will. ‘It’s your turn for the party, so you get to choose.’
‘Scrabble tiles.’ Will showed me.
‘So, if you pick an A, the theme is the letter A?’ I asked.
‘No, the theme of the party is decided by Will, but it has to begin with an A,’ Donovan explained.
‘And rhyme with party,’ Darya added, with a glint in her eyes.
‘Like Mum got T so we had a tarty party and did lots of baking,’ Joel said.
‘We’ve also had a brilliant Karate Party thanks to Joel picking K,’ Donovan added.
‘Lola took us on a go-karty party, and Darya did us a smarty party with quizzes and brain teasers. I liked go-karting better,’ Joel said.
Will closed his eyes and reached into the bag.
‘Please pick F, please pick F, please pick F,’ Joel muttered, his eyes scrunched shut.
‘A,’ Will announced.
‘Humph,’ Darya said. ‘The artist chooses A. Are you certain you were not peeking, Wellington?’
Will folded his arms. ‘A bit presumptuous of you, Darya, assuming I’d go for the obvious option. Perhaps I’d like to go for something more original, like an… Aparty party.’
‘A party where we are all apart?’ Darya raised one eyebrow.
‘Fair enough. An arty party it is.’
I couldn’t begin to imagine what this arty party would entail, but I found myself thinking I’d like to find out.
We spent the remaining ten minutes clearing up the lunch mess amid continual chatter. These people were not only smart, but also wise. Both kind and brutally honest. Good-humoured yet serious when appropriate.
As I snapped on Ernest’s lead, donned my still-damp coat, said goodbyes and thank yous before opening the door and being buffeted back into the dregs of the storm, I paused for a moment to assess the strange sensation spreading through my stomach and around my heart.
This easy warmth, the jiggles in my belly, spring in my step… was this the previously elusive joy?