Chapter 20 #3
‘I don’t know why you two don’t find somewhere else to flirt and fawn about and leave us to it.
It’s not easy having to continuously avert our eyes from your shenanigans,’ Merry grumbled as she hung up a wanted poster for ‘the notorious outlaw Robin Hood’, although her eyes were twinkling.
‘Especially when I’ve not seen my husband in months. ’
‘Oh, don’t be such a grouch,’ Donovan chided. ‘I think it’s very sweet.’
‘I didn’t say it’s not blummin’ marvellous,’ Merry barked. ‘I just don’t want it flaunted under our noses when we’re trying to concentrate on the café.’
‘Is Alex Nixon your girlfriend now?’ Joel asked. He was untangling some of the Arty Party Christmas decorations. ‘Because she told me she wasn’t dating at the moment.’
Will, replacing a yellowing plastic plug socket with a gleaming brass one, stood up so quickly he smacked his head against the shelving unit.
‘No.’ He darted his eyes at me. They were wide with alarm. ‘She’s not my girlfriend. We’re friends.’
‘Friends who like kissing each other and holding hands,’ Joel pronounced. ‘I’d like one of those friends.’
‘We’re not… we aren’t…’
Joel put his hands on his hips. ‘Now, Wellington,’ he said, as if patiently explaining to a small child. ‘We all saw you having a smoocherooni in the store cupboard. You didn’t close the door properly.’
Seeing him flush with agitation, I put Will out of his misery.
‘Will and I are good friends, but we aren’t any more than that, yet.
We might have had a quick kiss, but we won’t be doing anything else until he’s spoken to his children.
Please don’t make any jokes or comments about it, because they’ll get very upset. ’
‘Fair enough,’ Joel said with a shrug. ‘The thought of my dad kissing makes me shudder.’ He proved his point with a full-body judder. ‘And he’s only kissing Mum, not a famous loser. Even if she is really pretty.’
‘I have to pick up Bonnie from school,’ Will said, lips barely moving.
‘Thanks for coming,’ I said, following him to the door so no one would see my dopey smile.
‘Look, about what Joel said. I’m not saying I don’t love the idea of you being my girlfriend… one day.’ He paused, rubbing a hand down his face. ‘I would really like that. Eventually. Only—’
‘Not now,’ I interrupted.
He sighed. ‘I’m not going to say that now’s not a good time, because with three kids, there’s never going to be one of those. But they do need more time. A lot more, to get to know you and grow used to you being around.’
‘It’s okay,’ I said, because it genuinely was. ‘I understand. I could do with some more time myself, if I’m honest. As soon as you’ve left, I’ll switch to full-on panic mode.’
‘I shouldn’t have kissed you.’ His jaw clenched tight.
‘Will, in my world, a quick kiss doesn’t mean you have to become a couple. For goodness’ sake, we only met properly a couple of weeks ago. Can I remind you of our friendship agreement?’
‘Our agreement isn’t a licence to be thoughtless, or leave you unsure about what’s going on between us.’ He grimaced. ‘But if Edith finds out…’
I stepped outside, waiting for him to join me. ‘Okay. Let’s agree on what this is, for now. From my perspective, we are friends, who would both like to try being more than friends, but need to make sure both of us, and most importantly your children, are ready.’
I didn’t need to make sure I was ready. I’d been waiting for Will my whole life, but I wouldn’t put that pressure on him.
‘Okay.’ He didn’t sound too sure. ‘So, in the meantime, we hang out sometimes, together and with the kids. Get to know each other better while being honest about where we’re at?’
‘That sounds lovely. And we won’t kiss, or have any other physical contact that isn’t appropriate between friends. Even if the kids aren’t around. Then if they ask what’s going on, we can be truthful. Okay?’
For maybe the first time, Will couldn’t hold my gaze.
‘Will?’
He quirked up one side of his mouth. ‘Well, if we’re being honest, I think it’s my turn to freak out.
My children have been through too much already.
I can’t risk hurting them. But at the same time, and while very aware of sounding like a lonely widower getting carried away at Christmas, I’ve never felt so safe – so free – to be myself with someone.
I never understood the whole “meant to be” thing.
I didn’t want to, because I never felt that with Tilly.
We decided to be, because of Jordan. It’s as if I don’t have any choice in the matter when it comes to you.
If at any point you know you aren’t going to feel the same, I need you to tell me.
’ His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘It’s not just the kids who can’t take another broken heart. ’
I nodded. A completely inadequate response because it was my turn to be rendered speechless. Nobody had ever said anything close to this before. The nearest Nico had managed was, ‘We have a laugh, don’t we, babe?’
Then I mumbled something unintelligible, squeezed his hand so he knew I understood, and tumbled back inside the café before I either burst into tears or kissed him again.