CHAPTER 26
Rachel
Rachel fastened her seatbelt and settled into the passenger seat.
“So, what do you think?” Ryan pointed to the bright lights on the dashboard. “All-wheel drive, 11,000 pounds towing capacity, a 16-inch infotainment system—”
“It’s really nice, Ry,” she muttered and turned to gaze out the window.
“Rach, come on! It’s a new Rivian R1T!” Ryan play-punched her in the shoulder. “How are you not excited about this?”
Her stomach sank. The possibility of ever feeling excitement again was about as likely as Tess enjoying the Yellowcard concert that evening.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled and turned back to eye the various dials and buttons on the dashboard closer. “I’m happy you got a new truck. It’s really nice.”
A long, slow whistle left his lips. “Shit, Rach, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this low.”
She frowned as he backed out of the parking space outside of her office. “I’m not low.”
Lower than I’ve ever been.
“Yeah, you are.” Ryan flipped on the turn signal and headed west on the frontage road. “In fact, I’d guess you’re even worse off than the day Rose borrowed your pink pony sweater and came home with a stain on it.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “I was like seven.”
He elbowed her in the gut. “My point stands. Did you forget how to smile or something?”
Her eyes narrowed as the hole in her heart deepened. The thought of a smile was foreign after a week of silence from Miguel. Unless I count his single email forwarding me the concert tickets for tonight. “What’s there to smile about?”
Ryan leaned over and gripped her knee. “Oh, I don’t know. In less than two hours, Yellowcard is going to be singing in your face again. It’s been years since we’ve seen them live.”
She rested her hand over his. With a gentle squeeze on his calloused, paint-covered fingers, a fresh bout of tears pooled behind her lids.
Yeah. And Miguel bought the tickets.
Rachel swallowed the swell of emotions rising in her throat. Choking down the sorrow, she forced a false grin on her lips and nodded. “Mmm-hmm. It’ll be fun.”
“Fuck yes, it will!”
Despite the hurt in her heart, she giggled at her brother’s enthusiasm. “I can’t believe you got Tess to agree to this.”
“Eh, she’ll be fine.” He snickered. “Oh, hey, did she tell you she sold the Rosewood Register earlier this week?”
“Oh!” Rachel tilted her head and eyed his scruffy cheeks. “No, she didn’t. Good for her!”
He nodded and shifted lanes. “Yeah, it’s a good thing. She needed to let it go. For good.”
“Why do you say that?”
Ryan grinned. “Because she’s been splitting her time. And now I get her all to myself.”
With a roll of her eyes, Rachel leaned forward and grabbed her bag. She stuffed her hand inside and pulled out a tube of Chapstick. “You’re ridiculous.”
Ryan shrugged. “A Leather of Love is really taking off. She’s better at all of the business stuff than I am.”
“That I believe.” She applied the Chapstick to her lips and tossed the tube back in the bag. “Who’d she sell the paper to?”
He widened his eyes. “Kinda weird actually.”
“Who?”
“Mitch’s sister.”
“Oh?” Rachel sorted through the cobwebs in her brain. “Mavis, right?”
Ryan nodded. “It gets weirder. Turns out, she’s married to Tess’s ex-husband.”
“Well, that is strange.”
“Tell me about it.”
“And Tess is okay with that?”
He shrugged again. “She seems to be. Sounds like there used to be some bad blood there, but all in the past, you know?”
Rachel nodded. “Well, I’m happy for her. Er, happy for you both.” She winked before poking a few buttons on the dash. “It’s freezing in here. How do you—”
“Don’t press all those!” He snorted. “I don’t know what they do yet.” With a snicker, he twisted the dial closest to him. “Better?”
The blast of cold air lessened. Rachel shivered but nodded as her gaze returned out the window. Building after building disappeared along the highway as Ryan whizzed them along to the concert venue.
“Hey,” he muttered. “Jokes aside. Are you okay?”
Am I okay?
Her stomach soured. Guilt rolled through her as the memory returned to haunt her brain, the image of Miguel’s key to the backdoor leaving her fingertips. The floor beneath her feet shook with more than the force of the tires meeting the pavement. As she choked back the tears attacking her eyes, she gulped.
“Rach?” he pressed.
“I miss him.”
Ryan returned his hand to her knee but kept his eyes on the road. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She snorted. “Do you mean talk about how much of an idiot I am?” Her last moments with Miguel replayed in her mind, stuck on repeat for the last week of her life. The sadness in his eyes on their last night together tore her heart in two.
“Tell me what happened?”
“It doesn’t really matter.”
“Sure, it does.” Ryan pulled a lever and released the windshield wiper fluid. Each blade swiped across the glass in a monotonous pattern. “It’s obvious how much you liked this guy.”
Her lips quivered as a whimper escaped. I didn’t just like him. I love him. A tear rolled down her cheek and Rachel sniffled, giving into the sorrow.
“I’m so stupid!” she yelled and tore her hand away from his. “I’m such a fucking, insecure moron!”
Ryan peered at her out of the corner of his eye. Toying with the brim of his baseball cap, he cleared his throat. “Tell me what happened. Come on, Rach.”
The sequence of events piled atop each other in her mind, stacking taller and taller with Saturday’s fallout. Shaking her head, Rachel squeezed her eyes closed. “I made a lot of really stupid decisions last weekend. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.”
He merged into the left lane and passed a slow-moving red sedan in silence.
“It all started at the open house.” Rachel wrapped her arms around her body in a self-hug. “Guess who showed up.”
Ryan shrugged. “Miguel’s ex-girlfriend or something?”
Ugh.
“Try ex-boyfriend.”
He squinted and tilted his head in her direction. “Miguel’s ex-boyfriend?”
With a roll of her eyes, she shook her head. “Ugh, no. My ex-boyfriend. Ian showed up.”
A frown curled his lips. “I hate that guy.”
“Yeah, well, so do I now.”
He shivered. “So, what happened?”
Rachel gulped as the truth tickled her tongue. “He kissed me. And of course, Miguel walked in and saw it.”
“Ugh.” Ryan groaned and lifted an arm to grip the back of his neck. Toying with his hairline, he sighed. “That’s rough.”
“Yeah, no shit.” The guilt settled in her heart all over again, reliving the seconds that shattered her world. “But that’s not the full story.”
His eyes widened. “There’s more?”
“A lot more. Miguel saw Ian kiss me, but he left before I could tell Ian we were through and had been for months.”
“So, he left thinking you were getting back together with him.”
Rachel tipped her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, building the courage to relay the next part of the story. “Yes. But the part that really gets me is that he ran straight to Lauren.” She shuddered and dropped her face in her palms.
“Templeton?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s been madly in love with her for years.”
Ryan whipped his head around, his gaze intent on searching her face for the truth. “But Lauren is married.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
He gripped his baseball cap and tugged until it fell from his head. Dragging a hand through his dark brown hair, Ryan released a heavy breath.
“Miguel told me everything. How they worked together at the restaurant and really formed a connection. Obviously, what they shared was never romantic, but he developed real feelings for her.”
“Damn,” he muttered. “Does Mitch know?”
Rachel nodded. “He does. But Ry, you’re missing the point.”
He shrugged. “You just told me another guy is in love with my best friend’s wife.”
“Not in love.”
And I know that now. God, I’d do anything to go back and realize that sooner!
“I don’t know, Rach. Seems—”
“I get it, okay?” she interrupted. Rachel slumped in her seat. “I accused him of still having feelings for her.”
“I mean, it was fair to ask.”
“That’s just it!” she yelled and slammed her hands against her thighs. “It wasn’t fair to ask! He’s been so transparent. So honest. So upfront. Literally, he’s reassured me over and over and over and has given me no reason to doubt him.” Her chest ached as the words spewed. The tears returned and fogged her vision, clouding the highway into tiny blurry balls of colorful vehicles. “I was just so angry with myself for even giving Ian the time of day again that I tore into him to make myself feel better. But I...” She swallowed. “I accused him of the very thing that hurt him most.”
The sad truth settled in the silence between them, only the soft hum of the vent filling the cabin. Beside her, Ryan sat in silence. With his right hand, he reached out and grasped hers. “Rach?” He squeezed and offered a small smile.
“Hmm?”
“Have you told him what you just told me?” he asked as he merged into the right lane one-handed and eyed the upcoming exit.
“How could I? He won’t answer my calls,” she muttered.
Ryan tapped the turn signal. “It’s only been a week.”
“I hurt him.” Sorrow built in her bones, tearing at her chest with the reality of her actions. Her skin tingled, sending goosebumps to parade down her arms. Rachel hung her head. “If I were him, I wouldn’t give me the time of day either,” she whispered and wiped beneath her nose.
Her brother nodded and exited the highway, navigating the new Rivian through the lines of traffic at the YouTube Theater in Inglewood. The truck stilled in a sea of taillights.
“Maybe one more try wouldn’t hurt.” Pointing at the concert venue, Ryan grinned at the marquee. “It’s Yellowcard’s twentieth anniversary tour of Ocean Avenue. I know I don’t know Miguel well, but you do. You can’t tell me he wants to miss this show.”
Rachel closed her eyes. I know how badly he wants to be here. Recoiling at the memory of the exact moment she saw the email come through with the concert tickets, she groaned. “I hate that he’s missing this. It’s my fault that he is.”
Ryan motioned to the line of traffic in front of them. “We’ve got at least fifteen minutes before we can even park and find the others inside.”
“What of it?”
He pointed out her window at an empty bench beside a bus stop. “Shoot your shot. Call him one more time. And transfer a ticket back. What have you got to lose?”
His advice was a single speck of hope glimmering in the darkness. A grin tugged at her lips as she eyed the bench. Peeking at the line of cars still at a standstill, she gripped the plastic door handle.
Shoot my shot.
“Go.” He swatted her shoulder. “Not too long ago you gave me—”
“The same advice,” she finished and swatted him back. Rachel tugged and opened the door. Dodging through the line of cars, she zigzagged until the bench appeared.
Her heartbeat doubled. Pounding against her ribcage, the blood in her veins picked up speed. Rachel blew out a heavy breath and plopped down on the bench with her phone clasped tight in her fingers.
“What have I got to lose?” she repeated and tapped Miguel’s name on the screen. It rang.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Her vision blurred as the rings echoed in her ear, each tone unanswered until his voicemail picked up. And his sweet, familiar voice squeezed her heart.
With a single beep, her cue arrived, and Rachel forced the words in her heart into the airwaves.
“Miguel,” she choked out before swallowing bile. “Miguel Rodriguez, I love you. I know I have no right to say that to you anymore, but it’s the sincere truth. For the last week, all I’ve been able to think about is you. Your laugh. Your smile. Your flan.” She snickered and wiped the trickle of tears pooling in her eyes. “But more than anything, I keep thinking about your heart. And how I broke it with the foul words I spoke. I accused you of something unfair when what I should have done was apologize to you for the way I behaved.” Eyeing Ryan’s truck as it slowly inched forward, she groaned. “We’re at the concert. There’s a million people here. But the single person I want to see is you. I’m going to transfer back your ticket and just hope—” The words caught in her throat, stolen by the emotions bursting from her heart. “You’re my only one, Miguel. Please come.”
Rachel tapped the end call button and released a sigh. Holding on to the glimmer of hope echoing from her soul, she pulled up the concert tickets and transferred one back to his email.
“My only one,” she whispered again and stepped off the curb toward Ryan’s truck and the Yellowcard concert.