Chapter 12 Rory
RORY
In all the car journeys that she’d taken with Darcy, Rory had never felt so at ease as she did now.
Neither had she felt so contented. She relaxed back into her seat as the car purred along the motorway.
The car was set to cruise control, so she didn’t really have to do much in the way of driving, besides steering – she could just relax and enjoy the feeling of Gemma’s hand in hers.
She took a few deep breaths, smiling when Gemma gave her hand a squeeze.
She felt lighter since she had spoken to Gemma, and a peace had descended on the car.
They had talked for as long as the free parking allowed before continuing their journey.
Rory hadn’t expected to feel a sense of relief at having spoken to Gemma about how she was feeling, but the weight that had lifted from her was almost palpable.
The journey went smoothly, and they soon parked in front of Gemma’s flat. Rory turned the car off, and the purr of the engine that had accompanied them from the hotel was absent. The silence stretched out as neither of them seemed to want to get out of the car.
“Do you want to come in? To use the loo or have a coffee or…” Gemma’s voice trailed off.
“That would be good, thanks.”
Rory rescued Gemma’s bag from the car and followed her to the front door.
“It’s amazing you got parked.” Gemma smiled. “Usually, it’s really tough to find a space around here.”
“Just lucky, I guess” Rory locked the car and followed Gemma to the front of her building. It was a concrete block that rose into the sky. The ground floor was taken up by shops, with three levels of apartments above it.
“I’m on the top floor.” Gemma called out as she opened the door. “Fortunately, there’s a lift.”
Rory followed her, unwilling to let Gemma take her suitcase from her. As well as being the chivalrous thing to do, it occupied her hands and gave her something to focus on. Rory followed Gemma to her front door, and after a bit of fiddling with her keys Gemma swung the door open.
“It’s not the biggest, but it’s home.” Gemma said. She cocked her head and paused for a moment. “Sounds like my flatmate is out. Here, put my bag on my bed and I’ll make us a drink.”
Rory took a moment to take in Gemma’s room.
It wasn’t big and didn’t have much space aside from the double bed on one side and fitted wardrobes on the other, but it was undeniably Gemma’s space.
Dresses and other clothes covered the bed, and Rory wondered if Gemma had struggled to work out what to take for the weekend.
Just as she was about to turn back to the hallway, her eyes caught sight of a large stuffed elephant perched on a bedside table.
Rory bit back a grin. She had won that for Gemma at a funfair in Halifax when the families had spent an Easter weekend at a hotel there.
She and Gemma had begged the parents to let them visit the fair.
Eventually, their parents relented, but they put Rory in charge and told her to look after Gemma.
She brushed the memory aside and walked up the small hallway to the large lounge/kitchen that took up the back half of the flat.
Gemma had opened the patio doors, and immediately the noise and smells of the surrounding area floated in.
Rory poked her nose out onto the minuscule balcony that overlooked the bustling neighbourhood that surrounded the flat.
“This is very vibrant.” Rory indicated the area around the flat. “Looks like tons of life.” She moved across the living area and propped a hip against the kitchen counter.
“Yes, it is.” Gemma handed Rory a cup of coffee.
Rory smiled that without asking, Gemma had made her a black coffee.
“It’s great. The cinema, shops and train station are all within walking distance, and there is a coffee shop downstairs that does a great macchiato.
” Gemma grinned and led Rory to the sofa in the corner of the living room.
“It’s not massive, but with London prices as they are, I can’t afford to live closer to the city. ”
“I know what you mean. I was lucky to get some money when Pops died and could put a deposit down on a house.” Rory swallowed away the wave of sadness that arrived when she thought of her mum’s dad.
“I was sorry I couldn’t get back for the funeral.
” Gemma sighed. “I couldn’t get the time off.
He was such a lovely man and always gave me sweets, even when I was an adult.
” She smiled, and for a moment they relaxed in the shared memory of Rory’s grandfather and the bag of barley sugar that he permanently had in his pockets.
“I feel like”—Rory ran a finger round the lip of her mug—“we’ve shared the last ten years without actually seeing each other. I know what you’ve been up to because I see your parents every few months or so when I visit home, but I’ve not seen you. Is that odd?”
“No.” Gemma let out a sigh. “And thank you for saying it. I was feeling the same. Every time Mum calls me to catch up, I hear about what’s happening with your parents or another wonderful thing that you’ve done.
” Gemma wrinkled her nose. “Although she didn’t tell me you were engaged, which was odd. I found that out on Facebook.”
Rory winced. “Yeah, that was Darcy all over. If it didn’t go on social media, did it really happen?” She chuckled. “I’m glad we’ve reconnected. I don’t think I realised how much I’d missed you.”
For a moment they just looked at each other. Rory allowed her eyes to trace the slight changes in Gemma’s face and imagined Gemma doing the same.
“Can I ask a question?” Gemma’s voice cut across the silence.
“Of course.” Rory clasped her hands together to prevent her from reaching out and taking Gemma’s hand.
Any walls that had been between them were gone after their talk in the car, and she felt she could be completely open with her, but one touch from Gemma could undo all her noble thoughts, and she desperately wanted to remain friends with Gemma.
“Why did you react so strongly when we were kissing yesterday? I know we’d had a bit to drink, but one minute you were making me feel magical, and then it was like having a bucket of cold water thrown over me.” Gemma’s voice was small, and Rory hated hearing the hurt that was there.
“Not that I’m planning to kiss you again. Just friends, I promise.” Gemma chuckled. “But I’d like to know what upset you.”
Rory sat up and swallowed a couple of times and tried to formulate a response, irrationally annoyed that she felt sad that Gemma didn’t want to kiss her again. She took a deep breath and heard it shudder as she exhaled.
“My hair.” She said softly. “I hate my hair.” Rory closed her eyes briefly at the memories of arguments with Darcy and years of discontent.
“As I mentioned, I was told at university that I needed to look more feminine.”
“I still think that’s bollocks,” Gemma grumbled quietly.
Rory stifled a grin. Of course her rebellious friend would think that.
“So, I grew it, and for a while, I tried to have a longer, messier do that I could slick back when I wanted to be more of a tomboy. But then it was getting too hard to maintain, so I experimented with letting it grow a bit more. That’s when I met Darcy.
She convinced me to grow it this long and insisted that I keep it girly and feminine.
” Rory rubbed a hand over her face and pinched her nose.
Subconsciously, she tucked a loose strand behind her ear before continuing.
“When we were planning the wedding, Darcy was forcing me into wearing a dress and having my hair done by a professional hairdresser, but I just wanted to cut it off. It was the biggest row we’d ever had, and she was pretty hurtful.
Since then, I’ve hated it even more, but I don’t know what to do with it.
Every hairdresser I go to wants to give me a bob or a long pixie cut, but that’s not what I want.
” She took another shaky breath. “So, when you ran your hands through my hair, I just freaked out.” She took Gemma’s hand.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it get that far, but as I’ve said, you plus wine…
” She winked at Gemma and saw a blush rise on her friend’s cheeks.
“I know, and I probably should have realised your emotions were all over the place, but you know...” Gemma bit her lip.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been with a woman, and you are very fucking gorgeous and.
..” Gemma smiled and shrugged. “I tend to think with my libido first and my brain second, and it can get me into trouble.”
“And your heart?” Rory asked quietly as she rubbed a thumb over her friend’s knuckles.
“Oh, that never gets involved.” Gemma swished a piece of her own hair over her shoulder.
“I’m never with anyone long enough to fall in love with them.
I think I’d like to be in love and settled and all that.
” She waved a hand around in the air to emphasise her point.
“But as soon as the lust wears off, I realise I don’t actually like the person and then it’s over. ”
For a brief moment, Rory imagined herself to be someone who could date Gemma but immediately pushed it from her mind. Gemma didn’t need someone who didn’t know herself and having just found her friend, she didn’t want to risk losing her again.
Gemma opened her mouth to say something, but it was drowned out by the front door of the flat opening and a loud voice shouting out.
“Gemma! Are you here?” The door slammed shut, and footsteps advanced up the hallway. “Can you believe some twat in a Porsche has parked in my spot?”
Gemma groaned, and Rory stifled a grin.
“You didn’t tell me it was someone’s parking space.
” She hissed at Gemma before turning to look at the person who had walked into the living room.
The redhead stopped and looked at Gemma and Rory before dropping her shopping bags onto the counter in the kitchen.
Rory stood to introduce herself, but the redhead beat her to it.
“Hi, I’m Teagan, Gemma’s roommate.”
“Hello Teagan, I’m Rory. The twat in the Porsche.” She smiled as she saw the blood drain away from Teagan’s face before she added. “I’m sorry about your parking space. Gemma didn’t tell me they’re reserved.”
“Oh, um, they’re not. Not really, I just like that space because it’s close to the door,” Teagan rambled.
“Ah, same reason I wanted to park there.” Rory sent Teagan her most charming smile and turned to Gemma.
“That’s probably a good push for me to get home.
I have some bits to sort out before heading into work tomorrow.
” She didn’t really want to go, but faced with Gemma’s roommate and friend, she suddenly felt like the flat was stifling her and she longed to be in the sanctuary of her own home.
Gemma nodded and walked Rory to the door.
Before opening it, Rory turned back to Gemma, unsure of how to say goodbye.
She desperately wanted to see Gemma again but didn’t know how to vocalise it.
For a moment, they just looked at each other before Gemma walked into Rory’s arms for a hug.
Instinctively, Rory wrapped her arms around Gemma.
They had been tactile as teenagers, but Rory had never really thought about how good Gemma felt in her arms and how well they fit together.
Reluctantly, Rory released Gemma and opened her mouth to ask her over for dinner.
“When can I see you again?” Gemma beat her to it and Rory chuckled.
“I was just about to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner.”
“Really?” Gemma smiled, and Rory knew it had been the right thing to ask her.
“Yeah, I mean I’ve seen your place. I thought you’d like to see mine and catch up some more.” Rory shrugged as if it was no big deal, but suddenly she wanted nothing more than to show Gemma her home.
“Sounds good. Would this Friday be too soon for you?”
Rory resisted the temptation to say that tomorrow night wouldn’t be too soon for her. She hadn’t left yet and was already missing Gemma. She nodded her agreement and double-checked Gemma’s number before heading off to her car. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.