33. Carson James
33
CARSON JAMES
J essica greeted me with a coy smile as I slipped through the restaurant’s dining room and down the hallway that skirted the kitchen. Victoria, the woman Lennon had met in a past life, stood at Jessica’s side. She was in the process of learning how to flip tables during service.
A month had passed since that day in the storeroom where I prayed for Lennon to keep breathing as she bled out in my arms. I had been by her side every day as she fought in the hospital. When she came home, I only left her when I knew someone else was around to help, and then I was right back.
Lennon had returned to work a few days earlier, and it nearly killed me. The thought of not having eyes on her all the time made me physically ill. She should have been resting, but she was nothing if not stubborn.
I peered through the small cut-out window in the kitchen door, and spotted Lennon.
She rocked between her feet where she stood behind the expo line. Her chef’s coat was too boxy to see if she was breathing comfortably. I spotted the dandelion in the narrow pocket on her sleeve, and smiled.
The kitchen door muffled the sound of culinary chaos, but I could still hear her calmly directing her team as the printer spat out tickets.
“You good, Chef?” Zach asked as he worked at the grill behind her back.
“Fine,” Lennon said, but she didn’t look like it. She looked absolutely exhausted. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she leaned on the work table for support.
Lennon had been nervous to go back to the kitchen. Partially because it was where the attack had happened, but more so because she didn’t want to look weak in front of her team.
Zach dropped his utensils and sprinted around the corner. He returned in the blink of an eye, carrying a stool. “Sit, Chef.”
“I’m fine,” Lennon said, not giving him a second thought.
I gritted my teeth as I watched Zach scowl at her while he flipped the steaks. “We just got you back. Don’t wanna lose you so soon. Sit.”
With a huff, Lennon obliged and eased onto the stool.
The flurry never stopped. The cooks adjusted to Lennon guiding the madness from the stool and kept up the flow of plates flying into the dining room.
“Table twelve would like to send its compliments to the chef,” a server said as he burst through the door.
Lennon tipped her head to Zach. “Go get your praise. You’ve earned it.”
He looked surprised. “You sure?”
“You covered for me for weeks. I’ll cover the grill for a few minutes. Go.”
They traded off. Zach removed his apron and uncuffed his sleeves before heading to the dining room. Lennon worked between the front line and the grill.
My family was probably waiting for me upstairs, but I didn’t care. I needed to watch her for a minute to know that she was okay.
I loved watching her work. She had an ease and confidence about herself, even in the tensest of situations. She rocked and rolled the way I did when I was riding Anarchy.
It was elemental. The purest form of her, and I loved it to my core.
Zach hurried back into the kitchen and took over his role at the grill, leaving Lennon to run the front line. I must have caught his attention, because he spotted me peering through the window and gave me a chin tip.
With Lennon in good hands, I returned the gesture and hurried to the rooftop dining room where my family was gathered.
Balloons and a congratulatory banner stretched across the wall over the long farmhouse table.
“Is Lennon coming?” Bree asked from the seat of honor.
We were celebrating her high school graduation tonight. Lennon had pulled out all the stops for my oldest niece, creating a menu of all her favorites.
“Nah, she’s on the clock and I don’t want to get yelled at for pulling her away,” I said as I dropped into my chair.
“Smart man,” Christian said.
The festivities went on as dinner was served, and we all celebrated Bree before she moved to New York for her first year of college.
I sat back in my seat, draping my arm around the empty chair beside me.
Lennon had protested this morning when I told her she should cut out of work early to join in on the family dinner at the restaurant.
She argued that it would be a bad look for her to leave her team hanging. I got where she was coming from, but at some point, we’d have to find a balance between working for the business and spending time with family.
The duo of servers tag-teaming our party dropped in to serve the graduation cake that Javi had whipped up for the occasion. Like clockwork, my mom flagged them down and asked if they could send up Chef Maddox so she could thank her for the meal.
I wondered if Lennon would send Zach instead.
Good leaders recognized good work, and Lennon was a good leader.
A few minutes later, Lennon appeared at the top of the stairs. I frowned at how her arm was hanging.
According to the few complaints she let slip, her shoulder had been killing her as she recovered.
“How was everything tonight?” she asked the same way she usually did each time my folks summoned her. But there was no nervous energy. No sizing everyone up. No guarded body language.
“Aunt Len!” Seth said as he clapped his hands. “Color?”
Ray chuckled. “I’ve been replaced as the favorite human coloring book.”
Lennon squeezed my hand as she rounded the table and carefully hugged Bree. “Congratulations.”
“Everything was divine as always, Lennon,” Mom said as she raised her glass of wine to my girl.
Lennon’s blush was the prettiest sunset I’d ever seen. “Thank you.”
“Take a minute and join us,” Christian said.
But Lennon shook her head. “I should get back down to the kitchen. I’ve missed enough time as it is.”
We shared a chaste kiss in passing before Lennon slipped back downstairs.
When I turned my attention back to the table, everyone was glaring at me.
Bree and Gracie were each holding up their left hands and pointing to their ring fingers. Everyone else echoed the sentiment.
“Hold your horses,” I said as I finished off my beer. “I’ll pop the question when I’m ready. Not when y’all are ready.”
Frankly, I had been ready since before the attack. But Lennon needed time to recover. I didn’t want to rush things just because we were both caught up in the torrent of emotions in the aftermath.
Grumbles rose up, but quickly shifted as the attention went back to Bree.
I headed down the stairs when dinner wrapped up. The dining room was sparse, and the kitchen had begun to close.
Lennon had been given strict instructions not to do any heavy lifting, so closing up was out of the question. I found her in the office, fingers flying across the keyboard to complete a product order before she clocked out.
“Hey, beautiful.”
She looked up with tired eyes. “Hey, yourself.”
I lifted my keys. “You ready to go?”
Lennon huffed. “I can walk, you know.”
“I know. Just figured we could go see how Kevin is doing.”
Lennon looked up through her lashes. “Are you really bribing me with a cow?”
“ Your cow,” I clarified. “Your cow that you somehow convinced me to let you name 'Kevin.'”
Lennon smirked. “Are you mad that his name is Kevin or that he has a name at all?”
I rested my forearms on her desk. “Get in the truck, pretty girl. Let’s go see Kevin.”
Kevin was fine and happily took a bottle from me while Anarchy sniffed up and down Lennon’s shoulder.
“This is weird,” Lennon said with wary disgust. She stood still, trying not to flinch as Anarchy’s giant horse lips fluttered over her collarbone. She had ditched her chef’s coat in the truck, leaving her in a tank top and black pants. “Do you think she smells the restaurant and wants to eat me?”
“She knows you got hurt,” I said as I came out of Kevin’s little home in the paddock and watched Anny checking on my girl. “Horses have a good sense about those things.”
Lennon’s eyes widened as Anarchy nuzzled her. She placed her cheek on Anny’s long nose and closed her eyes, returning the love. They were kindred spirits.
A light breeze could have knocked me over.
“You okay?” Lennon asked. She and Anarchy were staring at me.
I blinked.
“You look like you were having a stroke.”
I cleared my throat. “Yep. I’m good now.”
I needed to get the show on the road before I lost my fucking mind over my lady and my horse.
Lennon accepted my hand as we walked out of the barn and climbed into the truck. I slammed her door and shoved my hand in my pocket as I rounded the tailgate, checking to make sure the ring was where I had been keeping it all night.
I pulled away from the barn and headed out into the grass. Beams of light danced across the plains as I drove past the bunkhouse.
Lennon looked at me curiously. “Something the matter?”
“No?”
“Why aren’t we going home?” she asked. “Do you have to go out to the herd or something?”
I draped my arm around her shoulders. “Figured we’d take a little drive before we call it a night.”
Lennon settled in and rested her head on my shoulder. “Take me away, cowboy.”
I chuckled. “You got the words, just not in the right order.”
Her smile was soft. “I’m learning.”
I reached for her hand and brought it to my lips, pressing a kiss to her palm before lacing our fingers together. “Yeah?”
“Might even get a pair of boots.”
“You’d better let me go with you. Ray has his own line of boots, and if you wear anything else, it’s considered family treason.”
Lennon’s giggle was light like a birdsong after spring rain. “Understood.”
I stopped beneath that towering tree that stood in, what felt like, the middle of nowhere. It was really only a mile from the rear edge of Ray’s property. I had barely cut the engine and hopped out when Lennon opened her door.
“Excuse you, ma’am. Back inside.”
Lennon rolled her eyes and slammed the door shut.
I reopened it with a dramatic flourish. “That’s more like it.”
Lennon slid her hand into mine and followed me around to the bed of the truck. She braced her arms on the edge to push up and jump in, but paused and bit back a groan.
“Stop. Don’t hurt yourself.” I turned her to face me, then grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her onto the tailgate.
Moonlight peeked out from behind a cloud, casting soft light on the spread in the back of the truck.
I had hauled a spare mattress out of the bunkhouse and covered it with soft blankets and a nest of pillows.
Lennon lifted a suspicious eyebrow. “Why does this not seem as spontaneous as you made it out to be?”
I chuckled and climbed in behind her. “Just enjoy it. It’s quiet out here.”
Lennon took off her shoes and wriggled under a blanket. “People are going to get suspicious when they see a truck parked in the middle of a field.” She snuggled into my side as I laid down beside her. “And especially when the truck starts rocking.”
“You think I brought you out here for sex?”
She tipped her chin up and nipped at my lower lip. “If you didn’t bring me out for sex, then I’d say you’re passing up a golden opportunity. I could be riding your dick where your guys won’t hear us through the walls. But it would be just our luck that someone would stumble out this way.”
I laughed. “No one’s gonna catch us out here.”
“You know how everyone is. They work weird hours. Cows wander off. A guest could?—”
I pulled the piece of paper out of my back pocket. “Trust me. No one’s coming out here.”
She paused, taking the page from me and unfolding it. “Why?”
“Because I own it.”
Her eyes darted back and forth as she scanned the photocopied deed. “But you sold your piece of land so they could build the lodge and restaurant.”
“And I made the investors pay out the nose for it.” I took the deed back and stuffed it in my pocket. “I got more than triple what it was worth because they wanted that piece so badly.”
I rolled onto my side and brushed her hair away from her face. “It took a while. I had to convince Ray to sell a bit of his land for an easement to the service road on the south side. And then I had to get Christian and my dad to sell me the rest. But it’s official now. Those three acres and this tree are ours.”
“Yours,” she said.
I shook my head and kissed her. “Ours, Len. And you know what? It’s far enough from the lodge that you can’t even see the lights. We get an unobstructed view, east and west, so the sunrises and sunsets are always ours.”
She swallowed. “Oh, you’re...you’re saying a lot of things right now.”
“Then let me say a few more.”
I sat up and helped her lean against the stack of pillows.
“I’ll plant you a million wildflowers, so you never open your eyes without seeing your beauty reflected back to you. I’ll build you that house with a glass roof, so the stars are never far. I’ll gladly give you my last name because I want you to be a part of this legacy. But I’d also take yours because you are the most important person in my life. I’d give it all to you, and I’d give it all up for you.”
I shifted onto my knee and reached behind the pillows, pulling out a ranch jacket. “And since I’ve been apologizing a lot over the last few months, let me do it one more time. I’m sorry it took me so long to see how badly we needed you. The ranch. My family. But mostly how badly I needed you, and I’m sorry for how much I fought it.”
She ran a finger over the brand-new stitching. “I thought you wanted me to wear your jacket. I get my own?”
“You can have my jacket too, but I have something else I want you to wear.” I pulled the ring out of my pocket and held it between us. “This.”