34. Lennon
34
LENNON
I gaped at the diamond as it glimmered in the moonlight. Memories flashed through my mind, reminding me of the days before my mom went to prison. Before I moved in with Justin and had to hustle my way through life. I survived the years that were stolen from me and then clawed my way out of that pit.
In my previous life, I would have pawned the ring to put gas in my car and have somewhere to sleep for a little while. Now, all I wanted was for CJ to slip it on my finger and make me his.
CJ didn’t know it—or maybe he did—but he had given me so much more than a ring. He had given me a place to belong. A place to live and grow.
People to love and be loved by.
“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” I whispered, dabbing the tears streaming down my face.
CJ smiled. “Remember the first question you asked me?”
I shook my head.
“You pushed me out of the way at the bar and said, ‘Do you wanna be next, cowboy?’” He slid the ring onto my left hand. “Len, I’m not the next one. I’m the last one. You and me? I know a good thing when I’ve got it. This is a forever kind of love. And, if you’ll have me, I’d like to be your husband.”
“Yes,” I whispered against his mouth as I pressed my palms to his cheeks and kissed him deep and hard.
His smile was blinding as he met me in the heat of the moment, matching each bursting flame with fire of his own.
CJ worked the straps of my tank top down off my shoulders to my waist, then pulled it down my legs so I didn’t have to lift my arm. My sports bra quickly followed. He tossed my pants next as he stripped me bare in the starlight.
“Look at the sky, beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed his way up my leg to tug my underwear down. “See all those stars? They’re all for you.”
Warm night air coated my skin as he took everything off except for the ring on my finger.
It felt so foreign, but so right.
CJ started low, kissing the scars that curved and dotted my hip. He worked his way across my pelvis, ignoring my giggle when his scruff tickled a little too much. He kissed up my stomach to my breasts.
I arched and groaned when he swirled his tongue around one nipple piercing and toyed with the other between his fingers.
“You good, Len?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Hurting?”
“No,” I whispered as the sparks skittered across my breasts, converging in a line and flooding my core. “Give me more.”
CJ nodded. The brim of his cowboy hat prodded at my neck as he obliged.
I lifted it off his head and dropped it on mine.
“What do you think you’re doing, trouble?” he murmured before swirling his tongue around my nipple.
I squeezed my thighs together to ease the ache, but his hand was faster, cupping my sex and stalling my pleasure.
“You don’t think I moved to Texas without a little research?” I smirked. “I’m aware of the cowboy hat rule.”
CJ laughed as he kicked off his jeans and boxers, then stripped off his shirt. He scooped me up and took my place, settling me astride his hips in one smooth motion.
“Alright, Trouble. You’re wearing the hat.” He reached up and straightened it on my head. “Looks like you have to ride the cowboy.”
His cock was thick and swollen between us as I eased up on my knees, notching the head of his dick against my entrance.
“Um...” I chewed on my lip as I worked the question over in my mind. “Do you want to use a condom? I mean, we can. I’m just saying...I’m on birth control and I’ve never gone without and...Never mind, it’s stupid. We can use a condom.” I knew he had some stashed in the truck.
CJ shut me up with a kiss. “Len.”
I closed my eyes and tucked my head in the crook of his neck, wishing I could take back every word that had spilled out of my mouth.
He smoothed his palm up and down my spine as he shifted his dick out of the way and teased the entrance to my pussy with his finger. “Do you want me to fuck this cunt without anything between us?”
I didn’t move. I didn’t even breathe. I wanted it more than anything.
CJ teased my clit. “I need an answer. Yes or no.”
I nodded against his shoulder.
He took his hand away, gently pushing me away from his cock. “I want to hear you say it, Len. Say the words. Tell me exactly what you want.”
I whimpered at the distance. I wanted to be fucked. It had been so long since we’d had sex. CJ was always so careful not to hurt me as I recovered, which meant sleeping together was just sleep.
My heart was in my throat, and I couldn’t get the words out.
“Need a little motivation?” he teased as he braced his thigh between the apex of my legs. “Fine. You don’t get my cock until you tell me in explicit detail that you want me to fuck you bare. Now, ride my thigh.”
My hips moved like they had a mind of their own; each rock and grind that teased my clit exhilarated me. Fireworks lit up every inch of my body.
CJ had a self-satisfied smirk on his face as he laced his hands to rest behind his head. “This is the best view on the entire ranch.” One hand came down, and he stroked his cock.
Watching him pleasure himself was erotic.
“Please,” I begged as I rolled my hips, grinding on his thigh, helpless and desperate.
“What’cha need, Trouble?” He thumbed my nipple and gave it a little pinch. “Tell me what you want and I’m more than happy to give it to you.”
“Fuck me,” I rasped as my pussy clenched around nothing.
“It would be my pleasure,” he said, but didn’t move. “How would you like to get fucked, darling? You were never this shy before.”
My throat was dry. “With your cock.”
He chuckled as lightning blazed up and down my spine. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
“Please, Carson. Please .”
“I like it when you say my name. Maybe I should make you beg a little more.” He swiped a finger through my pussy and teased my clit. “You needy little thing. Soaked and humping my thigh. Tell me what you want, Len, and I’ll give it to you.”
My chest tightened. “Fuck me bare.”
“Good girl,” he grunted as he grabbed my hips and yanked me forward. “Now get on my cock. Let me feel you.”
I slid down, instantly filled to the hilt. “Oh my God,” I choked out.
CJ cupped my cheek and kissed me. “You okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Breathe for me,” he said as he matched his inhales and exhales with mine. “Just like that. You’re okay. You can breathe. I’ve got you.”
Two of the best epiphanies I could have conjured hit me all at once.
I could breathe. I was his. For a while, those were two things I thought would never be true.
“Atta girl,” he said as he rocked inside me. “Feel that? That’s you and me, Trouble. This is our ever after. You ready?”
I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck as we worked and moved as one, chasing our respective pleasures and a collective end—the way it was meant to be. Working with each other, not against.
“Goddamn, you feel incredible, beautiful.” CJ planted a wet kiss on the side of my neck as his ministrations grew erratic. “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”
Words failed me as I careened over the edge. He was right behind me, slamming deep inside me as he hit the peak of ecstasy, crashing into his release.
“I love you,” I whispered as soon as I caught my breath. “So much. Thank you for loving me. I know I don’t deserve it.” Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Good things don’t happen to people like me, but my God, I am so glad I got you.”
I had never cried after sex before. Not even with him. But something about this moment was sacred.
CJ kissed my lips, then my forehead. “You deserve every good thing this life has to offer. Bad things happen to good people, but the difference is that good people will have goodness ahead. You, Lennon Maddox, are good. And you’re mine.”