Chapter Fifteen #4
Nora laughed. “When Kennedy made that same kind of suggestion, I didn’t want you to take them up on it. Why would you offer it to me now?”
Was Nora flirting? Fallon cleared her throat. “Well, let me know what you decide. I need to know where you’ll be, since I’m sure Ranger Dick will want a full report.”
“I don’t care what Ranger Dick wants. What do you want?”
“A decent night’s sleep would be a good start.” At Nora’s frown, Fallon shook her head. “Okay, Nora. You tell me. What do you want?” She hadn’t meant to leave Nora such an easy opening, but she couldn’t take it back now.
Nora moved closer. Fallon had learned to use her height as an intimidation factor when necessary, but it didn’t help her now.
Still, she stood her ground until Nora stopped only a few inches away.
“I want to talk to you. Really talk. I was too much of a coward to face you before, and I’m still scared, but I’m more scared of not having a chance to put things right between us. ”
Fallon’s emotions were a merry-go-round of options, from excitement to aggravation to dread to delight. She settled on truth. “I’d like to talk to you too, but I have responsibilities here. It’s not a time that I can relax or think about much beyond what I need to do next in the here and now.”
Nora nodded. “I understand that. Can your here and now include letting me share your tent again?”
Could Nora hear her heartbeat? She cleared her throat, giving her voice time to strengthen. “Yes, as long as we actually sleep.”
“Believe me, as out of shape as I am for this kind of work, I can promise you that we will actually sleep.”
Maybe so, Fallon thought, but I bet it will feel like one of my dreams.
Leaving Nora to get ready, she went to clean up more thoroughly.
She hadn’t expected to have company in the small tent, so she wanted to wash off a layer of dirt and sweat if possible.
With the rest of the crew already bedded down, Fallon didn’t hesitate to strip to her bra and underwear, wiping herself off with the inside of her dirtiest shirt.
“I very much like the way you’re wearing your hair now.” Nora’s voice came from behind her. Fallon didn’t turn, casually slipping her cleaner shirt on, quelling embarrassment about her semi-naked state. She was proud of this body.
“I like your hairstyle too. You look softer. I mean, more approachable. Did you start wearing it that way for your work?”
“Not deliberately, no. I guess I learned I’m not quite as butch as I thought I was.”
Fallon laughed quietly, and they started walking back to the tent. “So I’m more butch now?”
“Whatever you call it, you look good, Fallon. Really good.”
Fallon couldn’t be certain about the emotion in Nora’s voice. Was it regret? Approval? Desire? She held open the tent flap. “Uh, thanks. You too. Listen, go ahead and get settled. I’ll be in as soon as I make a quick loop around the camp.”
Nora nodded and crawled in.
The truth was, Fallon needed some time to quiet her battling heart.
As long as they were working, as long as the crew was around, she could pretend Nora was simply someone she used to know.
But the minute it was just the two of them, when Nora stood close or told her how good she looked, their past seemed unimportant compared to how amazing it felt to be with her again.
But that was not what she needed. Trying not to breathe the smoky air too deeply, she reminded herself that the same factors that had made it impossible for them ten years ago were still in play.
They’d always been honest with each other about their dreams, even knowing that achieving those aspirations would put them in two very different places, physically and emotionally.
In a way, such openness had been part of their attraction.
She’d never doubted that Nora was a fine person at her core, but they’d both been foolish kids, and Fallon should have known better than to risk her heart.
She knew what it was to be vulnerable, to be taken advantage of, and she’d sworn to do better upon her initial arrival at Firecamp.
Then she’d fallen for the least available person, short of Ranger Reva.
But until she’d been gutted by the photographs Nora had taken of her, she’d been genuinely convinced that Nora cared for her too.
That might be something they would discuss in their talk, if and when it happened.
But for now, there was a job to do, and she needed to figure out how to explain things to Ranger Dick in a way that wouldn’t get her fired.
Walking by Maris’s tent, she heard soft conversation broken by moments of silence.
Moments of kisses, if Fallon’s instincts about Maris and Shandra were correct.
Good. Maris deserved to have someone, and it couldn’t be her.
Those kinds of fleeting relationships were behind her now.
She was content with the life she’d made, and if seeing Nora reignited an ache, a yearning for intimate companionship, she could live through it. All fires went out eventually.