Chapter Sixteen
When Nora heard footsteps, she turned on her side, facing away from where Fallon would sleep.
She’d been telling herself that this arrangement didn’t mean they were starting over, but being this close to Fallon again made her feel as though the past ten years were more like ten minutes.
She worked to steady her breathing, refusing to take into account the initial lack of welcome in Fallon’s eyes or the coolness in her tone.
She understood the defensiveness of that behavior but seemed unable to summon it for herself.
Her heart had seized control, reminding her of the connection she’d so casually taken for granted then, not knowing its true worth.
But was there really a chance to renew something she’d been foolish enough to let go of ten years ago?
The flap opened, and Fallon settled next to her, lying on her back, evoking all the other things Nora couldn’t disregard: Fallon’s total mastery with the chainsaw, the steady way she directed her crew and their obvious respect for her, and how years of hard work and being in charge had turned her into a poised, powerful woman.
Nora swallowed around the vision of Fallon in her undergarments and how it had taken every ounce of her control to resist reaching for her.
Fallon sighed, and Nora recalled how Fallon’s body felt as it relaxed, which sent her to memories of those days in the trailer when they’d lost themselves in each other, connecting in every way possible.
After Fallon’s vanishing act, Nora had secured those remembrances in a distant place in her mind, venturing there infrequently, usually prompted by excessive alcohol or through the occasional encounter with another woman.
Now they were front and center, as was Fallon, who’d always taken the lead role in her fantasies.
Nora cleared her throat quietly. “You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pillow, would you? I’d like to turn over, but I don’t want to seem too…personal?”
“Intimate?”
Nora smiled, gratified by Fallon’s obvious recollection of the conversation from the first time they’d shared a tent. But the memory turned bittersweet when Nora wondered if she’d used that line with other women.
Fallon shook her head. “No extras, I’m afraid. Have you totally gone city girl, Nora? I’m using my clothes bag as a pillow. You only have that one because I grabbed it along with your tent.”
Despite Fallon’s teasing tone, Nora recognized the sweet, kind young woman she’d observed upon their initial arrival at Firecamp, disbelief and disinterest at the forefront of her mind.
Once she’d come to understand that Fallon was the real deal—a genuinely decent person in search of a community of like-minded friends—compelling attraction had soon followed.
And clearly, that pull was still there. At least from Nora’s side.
It was impossible to know what would have happened between them if she’d had the courage to talk through things during those last weeks.
After some time had passed, she could admit to herself that even if they’d had no future, that decision wouldn’t have been as painful.
Perhaps they could have found a way to remain friends, avoiding the awkwardness that now seemed to color every conversation, every movement, every glance between them.
Turning onto her stomach, she stretched, flashing back to that Sunday morning when she’d premiered her much anticipated project.
She’d worked all through Saturday night, recreating the folder Fallon had destroyed from the intact memory card, alternately cursing and crying while doing last-minute tweaks to the video.
The next morning, Upshaw had set up a projector and screen in the dining room, and Nora’s video was shown to all of Firecamp who were present.
While the staff and other sawyers cheered and applauded wildly, calling for two encores, her crew members, the stars of the show for the most part, were notably subdued, especially when images of Fallon came on.
Afterward, when she went to each teammate, presenting them with the flash drives she’d made, there were hugs but no tears.
“Where’s Falcon?” Delores had asked, Hannah standing close beside her. “I can’t believe she’d miss this, but her car is gone.”
“I don’t know where she is,” Nora said, wishing she had another answer. Wishing she’d handled everything differently. Better.
Kennedy didn’t have a question, just a few last words of discernment. “What happened between you and Fallon is no one else’s business. I hope it was worth it.”
Jade had simply slipped the flash drive into her pocket and waited.
Nora had forced herself to muster some kind of defense. “I guess I hurt her, and I’m sorry. But we were always going our separate ways anyhow.”
Jade had frowned. “Now that you can see the future so clearly, I hope that skill will help you stay out of trouble.”
It was a not-so-subtle reminder of what Fallon had done for her, and Nora had averted her gaze. Trying not to cave in entirely, she’d promised, “I’ll do my best.”
She’d stopped by Ranger Upshaw’s office, ostensibly to say good-bye but secretly seeking praise for the work she’d put in and the product she’d created. Instead, Upshaw had barely acknowledged her before casually tossing a thick envelope onto her desk. “What’s this?” Nora had asked.
“Fallon wanted you to have her pay for this hitch. Apparently, she was responsible for damage to your camera?”
Nora had forgotten about anything else, trying not to let her hand shake as she’d reached for it. Maybe there’s a note?
“She said that after you buy a replacement, give any money that’s left to your father.” Upshaw had raised a questioning eyebrow.
Nora had said nothing, certain this was the final message.
Of course Fallon had left her a last dig about caring for her family.
Fine. At the time, Nora had resolved to slough Firecamp off like mud from her boots and focus her energy on school, finding a job afterward that would give her what she most wanted: self-sufficiency. Independence. Control.
She’d let herself be consumed with honing her skills and then with developing contacts for work, which was why she had associates and sources, not personal connections.
She had made brief calls home every other week while in college, but for the most part, she was self-contained, distant from her family—except for Tyler—and generally indifferent to events outside of those she photographed.
But through her work, Nora had been exposed to every possible spectrum of the human experience, from pure joy to devastating loss, and she’d lived for those times when she captured an image that solidified something intangible.
She’d believed that was all she needed, until seeing Fallon again had awakened her to something else, something more she could’ve had.
Clearly, they had both made the lives they’d wanted. Fallon had a position of importance and a role in something meaningful. And while some of her community was likely to change from year to year, her life offered the stability of place and the bond of being a part of others’ growth.
Nora coughed and shifted onto her back again.
“Can’t sleep?” Fallon asked. She sounded awake as well.
“My body is exhausted, but my mind won’t shut off.” Nora could only hope Fallon wouldn’t ask why.
“You can turn this way if it would help,” Fallon offered, moving so she faced the tent wall. “We both need to rest.”
“Is it okay if I snug?”
“Sure.”
Nora sensed that Fallon was trying to sound casual, but there was tension in her voice.
She turned into Fallon’s body, looping her arm around her waist, overruling several possible comments that came to mind: “Just like old times” or “You feel even better now than you used to” or “Would you be mad if I broke my promise about sleeping?” But as if her body had been prompted by the mental notion of rest, Nora’s eyes closed.
* * *
Nora cursed as she fumbled for the alarm. Her phone merely showed the time: 5:45 a.m., so what the fuck was that god-awful sound? Her mind settled as she sat up, shaking herself awake. She wasn’t in her own bed, and that was the triangle, one more reminder of other times.
Fallon was gone, the space where she’d been lying, cool. Nora peered out the tent flap to figures moving around in a smoky haze and the faint smell of coffee. Wriggling into yesterday’s clothes, she headed for the center of activity.
Tyler was already up and handed her camera over without being asked. “I slept like the dead. You?”
She yawned. “Same. Have you eaten?”
“Just now. Go on over. I’m going to get a clean shirt out of my bag in the van.” He gave her grimy outfit a look.
“Don’t even,” she said, looking around for Fallon. “Any news?”
“Maris said the heavy equipment is on the way, and she indicated that Fallon’s ass is way smaller than its original size since Ranger Dick chewed off at least half of it.”
“I certainly can’t think about that before coffee,” Nora said, waving Tyler on his way.
Caden handed her a steaming mug, and she nodded her thanks. Moving slowly through the breakfast area, she grabbed a cup of instant oatmeal and a banana, listening as Fallon’s voice came to her on a draft of wind.
“It’s somewhat more predictable when it’s steady, since these gusts can loft embers and start spot fires.
” Maris said something Nora couldn’t understand, and Fallon added, “It’s headed this way, and our break isn’t quite as big as it needs to be, but we should be prepared to split up if we see something catch nearby.
The fire crew indicated increasing flare-ups since dawn.
” They were standing near the van. Fallon’s back was to her as she gestured at the road.
“I’ve got to stay and meet the heavies, or Ranger Dick will have what’s left of my ass.
You’re the logical choice to lead the second team, so pick whoever you want and tell them to be ready. ”