Ray
Watching Wade drive away from the ranch nearly broke me.
I knew how important it was for him to get the help he so desperately needed, and I was so proud of him for accepting the spot the treatment center had available. But even knowing that it was what was best for him, and in the long run for me, didn’t make it hurt any less.
There had been very few times over the seventeen years of our friendship that we had spent long stints apart.
Even when he was making it big on the rodeo circuit, he made time to send me a text or get in a quick call after the event.
Most of the time, if I could swing it, I would travel with him in support.
Max and Pops were both busy trying to keep the ranch going, and taking off a weekend to go watch a small-town rodeo qualifier wasn’t something they had the luxury of being able to do.
I dutifully stood in many sets of bleachers, screaming until my throat was raw and my voice was gone, cheering enough for him to feel the love of every single person who couldn’t be beside me. I did my best to make sure he never felt the loss of those who hadn’t been able to be there in person.
As I watched him drive away, I let the tears fall for all the moments we’d had to hold each other up.
I let the tears fall for the broken man who had done everything in his power to be everything for everybody, often to his own detriment.
I cried for the boy whose mother was taken far too soon, even if he had been well into adulthood when it had happened, knowing personally how painful that loss is.
The rickety porch swing on the side of the wraparound porch creaked in the gentle breeze, and I chuckled softly to myself. The memory of when Ma begged Pops to put that swing up played through my mind.
She had wanted somewhere she could sit and watch as the ranch life passed by around her. He had been willing to do anything and everything for that woman.
Every single night, without fail, she could be found sitting on that porch swing, a cup of chai tea in one hand and a book in the other.
I remember the first time Wade brought me over to the house and I met Penny Daniels. She’d been sitting right there on that same porch swing as she so easily folded me into their family, no questions asked.
Wade and I walked toward the big house, heading to grab something before we tacked up the horses for our ride.
We had spent the afternoon skipping rocks out at the cove and were going to the stables for our weekly trail time.
Wade had been teaching me all the ins and outs of being a cowboy and, unfortunately for my butt, that included riding a horse.
I hadn’t quite gotten my horse legs yet and still ended up hurting for a couple of days after each ride.
Honestly, I wasn’t much good at anything cowboy-related, but it gave me uninterrupted time with Wade.
“I’ll be right back. I’ve just gotta grab a couple of things, and we’ll be good to go,” he called behind him as we neared the steps of the wraparound front porch.
I stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs with my hands pushed into the back pockets of my jeans. Kicking at the dirt, I waited patiently while Wade took forever grabbing whatever was so important that he had to stop at the house before our ride.
“You don’t have to stand there. You can come sit,” a woman’s warm voice called from the top of the stairs.
I craned my neck looking for where the voice had come from, coming up empty.
I couldn’t see the whole porch from my vantage point, and for a second I wondered if I’d made the voice up inside my head.
“Over here,” the woman called from the side of the porch. I stepped onto the first step, listening to the weathered boards creak beneath my feet. Afraid the step would give and I’d fall through, I stepped up a couple more and onto the top of the wooden deck.
Sitting on a white porch swing on the far side was a woman rocking softly back and forth, a purple quilt draped across her lap, and a book nestled beside her.
It was evident from the sandy blonde of her hair and the sharp edges of her face that she was somehow related to Wade. I assumed she was more than likely his mom.
“You don’t have to stand all the way over there,” she chuckled, scooting the quilt off her lap onto one of the empty rocking chairs beside the porch swing. She patted the space beside her, and I dutifully walked over, sitting down softly, trying my hardest not to rock the swing too hard.
For what felt like the longest couple of minutes of my life, we sat in silence, neither of us sure of what to say.
“So, you must be the infamous Rayna my son won’t stop talking about.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Manners were something that had been drilled into me relentlessly throughout my childhood. My dad was the current sheriff of Firefly Cove, and I knew there was a standard I had to uphold as his oldest child.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, sweetheart. I’m Penny, but the boys call me Ma. You’re welcome to do the same.”
The softness of her voice and the welcoming lilt to her words eased my anxiety. I don’t know why I was so nervous, but something about meeting Wade’s parents made our friendship more real.
Inside the cove, we were in our own little bubble. No one questioned why a thirteen-year-old boy was hanging out with an eleven-year-old girl, skipping rocks and riding horses. Between the branches of the wide oak trees that shaded our spot, we could be anyone, or no one at all.
“It’s nice to meet you, too. Wade has said nothing but wonderful things about both you and Pops.”
“I’m sure. That boy has a hard time seeing anything but sunshine, even on a rainy day,” she said wistfully. You could see the evidence of her love for her family in the soft smile that played upon her lips and the tiny laugh lines that fanned out from her eyes.
“He’s definitely something.” I laughed softly, thinking of all the times Wade had so easily made me laugh, even when I felt like nothing made sense.
Speaking of the devil, he pushed out the screen door, his hands full and pockets bulging. He seemed to have cleaned out the pantry, filled water bottles, and grabbed a can of bug spray during his absence. I shook my head with a slight chuckle at his over-preparedness.
“Don’t laugh. I’m a growing boy,” he smirked as he adjusted his spoils in his arms and turned toward his mother, who sat shaking her head at him.
“You two have fun; be back before supper and don’t spoil your appetite, Wade Alexander,” she chided as she reached for the quilt and her book.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Ray.” Her smile was warm as I stood, making my way over to where Wade was standing, noisily crunching on some chips like he hadn’t eaten in a week.
“You too, Ma,” I responded politely with a gentle wave back in her direction.
“Ready, Sunshine?” Wade asked as he stomped down the porch steps, taking great care to step around the creaky step, clearly out of habit.
Looking back at Penny, I saw a soft smile on her face and those little laugh lines making their appearance as she pretended to be interested in her book. Her eyes caught mine, and I didn’t miss the little wink she sent my way as Wade tugged me toward the barn.
Penny had so easily welcomed me into their family, never once making me feel like an outsider.
In a house that often felt cramped, chaotic, and oppressive, it was nice to be able to come to the Daniels’ residence and step into a little bit of calm.
Something about her presence had always brought me such a sense of peace.
Every single person she had the pleasure of meeting felt her absence in the wake of her death.
As I stood here on the porch, watching the love of my life drive away toward a better future for himself, I felt the breeze wrap around me as if Penny were here, giving me a much-needed hug.
“You okay?” I heard a voice whisper from behind me. I turned around and was surprised to see Stella standing in the shadows, accented by the soft light of the foyer shining through the open door.
“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly as I hung my head and felt the tears drip down my chin.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really,”
“I’ve got a bottle of wine that I can’t drink and some chocolate that I can surely share,” she coaxed, pushing the front door wide and stepping back into the house in invitation.
I let out a small chuckle as I stepped into the big house, trying my best not to buckle under the weight of my feelings.
As Stella shut the front door and turned off the foyer light, I felt her arms come around me in a tight hug. I leaned on my friend as I let the tears flow, not bothering to hold back the emotion that was weighing me down.
I knew this was what both Wade and I needed, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t going to be the hardest thing we’d ever gone through.
“It’s going to be okay,” Stella crooned, rubbing soft circles on my back and letting me purge every pent-up feeling in the form of tears soaking through her nightshirt.
After a couple of minutes of mental breakdown, I took a step back and wiped the still-flowing tears from below my eyes.
“Thank you,” I said softly, sniffling and using the sleeve of my shirt to wipe away my snot. I couldn’t find it in myself to care about my appearance when half of my heart was gone.
“That’s what best friends are for,” she responded as she grabbed my hand and gently squeezed three times. I squeezed back, feeling the sentiment to my core. “Now, let’s crack open that wine, and I’ll live vicariously through you until I’m able to drink again.”