Chapter Twenty A Safe Space
Meri
The curtains were pulled halfway closed, leaving a narrow strip of light across the floor that didn’t reach the bed.
It was enough to tell the time had passed without forcing me to deal with it directly.
The rest of the room stayed dim, the way I preferred it when I didn’t want to think about anything outside of it.
I had been there for two days.
I knew that because I had checked the time the first morning, then again the second, before deciding I didn’t need to do that anymore. The clock on the nightstand was turned slightly away from me now, not enough to make it useless, just enough that I didn’t see it unless I chose to.
The blanket was pulled up to my shoulders, the weight of it steady across my chest and down my legs. I wore Aryn’s hoodie, the sleeves pulled over my hands. I suppose I was claiming it for myself unless I mailed it back to him at some point.
Chubbs lay across my legs, stretched out in a way that suggested he had no intention of moving unless it suited him.
He had arrived the same night I had, carried over in a soft-sided carrier from Alma’s apartment next door.
I had knocked, asked if I could borrow him, and my elderly neighbor had tutted when she saw my face, told me that men weren’t worth the bother before handing over the furry tabby cat without asking any questions.
I loved Alma with all my heart in that moment.
He shifted slightly, pressing his weight more firmly against me before settling again. His purring was steady, low enough that I felt it more than heard it. The vibrations helped. I reached down and rested my hand on his back. He flicked his ear once, then ignored me.
I wished I was a cat.
Then again, maybe not. Litter boxes weren’t ideal.
Chubbs yawned and stretched.
I lay snuggled in my warm cocoon, ignoring the world and my phone which was in reach.
I had turned it face down the first night, then silenced it as texts and phone calls came in.
There were email notifications too, so I turned it off entirely.
I didn’t even use it to scroll the internet because I wasn’t ready to have notifications from my publisher, Tara, other agents, and Aryn going across my screen.
Instead I had used my tablet or turned on the television to one of the many streaming services I subscribed to.
Right now, on low volume, one of my favorite moves was on. I knew every detail, I had watched it so many times. There would be no surprises as it played across the large screen.
I pressed my hand a little more firmly against Chubbs, grounding myself in the weight and the warmth of him instead of the memory of everything else.
There was a knock at the door and I frowned. Had I ordered something? The last thing I remembered was food being delivered from the Angry Wok earlier today. Or was that yesterday?
No, I hadn't ordered anything. Perhaps Alma wanted her cat back.
The key turned in the lock.
“Meri?” Lucy’s voice carried into the room as the door opened. “We’re coming in."
“We brought food." Jane followed her, closing the door behind them with a quiet click. I could hear her turn the locks, even though I didn’t bother to turn around.
At some point, trying to be responsible, I had given Jane a key to my condo. In retrospect that might have been a mistake.
“Hi," Jane said gently.
I pushed myself up just enough to lean against the headboard. Chubbs adjusted his position, then settled again across my legs. Brushing my hair out of my face with a hand, I looked at them as they came into my bedroom.
“Hi." Lucy set a bag down on the table near the door and moved further into the room, Jane trailing behind.
“We brought food," Lucy said. “And iced coffee."
“I’ve been fine," I said.
Jane sat down on the edge of the bed without asking, close enough that I could feel the shift in the mattress. “You haven’t been answering your phone."
“I turned it off," I replied with a shrug.
“Yes," Lucy said. “We decided that was the likely answer since you never called us back. However, Kitty did suggest at one point that maybe a serial killer had you."
Chubbs lifted his head, looked at them briefly, then placed it back down again.
Lucy glanced at him. “Is that new?”
“I borrowed him from Alma," I mentioned.
“Who is Alma?” Lucy cocked her head to the side before giving Chubbs a pet. He purred gratefully.
“My next door neighbor. I cat sit for her sometimes. His name is Chubbs. Chubbs, meet my intrusive sisters," I dryly said.
Jane smiled faintly. “That explains the fur."
“He helps so he is forgiven for shedding," I said, playing with the blanket with my fingers.
“I can see that," Jane softly replied.
Lucy unpacked the bag, setting containers on the small table and opening them one at a time. The smell of soup filled the room, followed by something warm and familiar that I couldn’t identify immediately.
“You need to eat," Lucy said.
“I will."
“Now would be a good time," Jane prompted. She accepted the take out container that Lucy gave her. “We brought French Onion soup because I know you like it. You also love meatball subs with extra pickles, so we bought that too."
“With no relish," I murmured.
“I promise, no relish or mayo. I know you have a thing about mayo," Jane assured me.
“I saw them make it and I wrote your name on it so we knew which one it was," Lucy promised. “And if you don’t want the iced coffee, I did bring a chai tea."
I smelled the soup that Lucy handed to me. “I think you guys can stay for a bit."
“Awe, you do like us," Lucy sweetly said.
“Only because you’re feeding me." I dipped my spoon into the soup, stirring it. “I wasn’t due home until tomorrow. Why were you calling?” I asked.
Lucy sat down in my chair, crossing her legs and digging into her soup. “Well, we were told you weren’t feeling well."
“Aryn called the inn," Jane added.
I looked at her.
“He wanted to know if you got home safely," she said. “He sounded worried. Apparently you were giving him the silent treatment as well”
I looked down at my soup and shrugged.
Chubbs shifted again, stretching one paw out before tucking it back in. While he was ignoring the soup, I knew he would want part of my meatball sub.
Jane reached over and brushed a piece of hair back from my face. “Why didn’t you call us?”
The question was gentle, but there was a thread of hurt in her voice.
“I didn’t think you would understand," I whispered.
Lucy made a small sound. “Try us."
“You’re busy," I added. “The inn is full. You both have your own things to deal with. I didn’t want to interrupt your lives."
Jane’s expression didn’t change, but her hand rested more firmly against my arm. “You’re supposed to interrupt us if you’re having problems. We are here to help you."
Lucy leaned back against the chair, watching me. “You don’t get to decide that we’re too busy for you. We want you to be able to call us when you need something."
“I needed to be alone. To have time to myself," I murmured. “It wasn’t personal."
Lucy sighed. “I know that you like to retreat from the world sometimes, and we are more than willing to give you your space, but sometimes you need to let us in. We want to help but we can’t if you don’t tell us when you need help. We can be quiet and supportive."
“Mostly we just want you to know that you’re not alone," Jane softly told me.
I nodded, concentrating on the soup which suddenly tasted really good and I wondered when I had last eaten.
Lucy watched me for a moment, then said, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No," I replied, setting my container aside and reaching for the iced coffee.
“Alright," she said easily. “We’ll talk about it anyway."
Jane gave her a look that was half warning, half amusement.
Lucy ignored it. “He called because he was concerned. Now, I thought you were here with your friends for the weekend and we are getting calls from a famous actor wondering if you’re okay. Do you want to tell us what happened?”
“We’ve been coming up with all sorts of theories," Jane admitted with a smile.
“Nothing happened," I muttered with a shrug.
“Something happened. Aryn seemed really worried about you," Lucy revealed.
“He’s a jerk," I blurted out. I sighed as they both looked at me in surprise. “He made me think that he liked me. He said he liked me."
“He’s calling the inn, asking after you. I think he does like you," Jane ventured.
I shook my head. “He only wanted…”
This was it. I was going to have to tell them. Throwing off the blanket, I dislodged Chubbs from my foot and went to the bookshelf. Grabbing a book, I tossed it to Lucy. “He wanted the film rights to that."
Lucy looked the book over in confusion. “I don’t get it."
“I wrote it. I’m the author of the Ember and Ink series," I dully told them, getting back into bed, leaning back against the headboard. “Aryn was just trying to use me. Once he figures out I’m not going to give him the film rights, he’ll go away."
“You wrote the books? I love these books." Lucy stared at me in fascination. “I can’t believe you kept that secret from us."
“Why wouldn’t you tell us?” Jane wondered.
“I don’t mind you both knowing. Even Dad would be okay, but Mom? She would lecture me about having my head in the clouds again. Kitty wouldn’t understand, and Lydia would badger me to be on her social media channels," I tiredly said.
“Lydia wouldn’t," Jane protested.
I gave her a knowing look.
“Okay, but she would stop after you told her no a few dozen times," Jane amended her earlier statement.
“It was easier to just not say anything," I mentioned.
Lucy frowned. “What about your work from home job ?”
“I’m an author. I do work from home," I pointed out. “You all assumed it was customer service which is the last thing I would be good at."
“Hunh. I guess so," Lucy murmured.
“You really think Aryn will go away?” Jane sounded disappointed.
“He just pretended to like me to get what he wanted. He’ll go away," I assured her, feeling empty at the thought.
Jane rested her head lightly against mine. “He’s a jerk."
I closed my eyes briefly. “Yeah."
Chubbs stretched, repositioned himself between us, and settled again with a quiet, satisfied sound.
For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t alone anymore.