Chapter Nineteen What I Missed
Aryn
One of the housekeeping staff moved a cart past me at a steady pace, stacked with folded linens that had been arranged in careful, even piles. She barely gave me a glance, even though it must have seemed odd for a grown man to sit in the hallway beside one of the hotel room doors.
But that was where I was. Waiting outside Meri’s door, just in case she needed anything.
I leaned my head back against the wall and stretched out a foot so it wouldn’t cramp.
After Meri shut the door in my face, I had heard her move away from it, but beyond that, there hadn’t been any noise. She hadn’t ordered room service, or turned on the television, or run her shower.
I had already knocked once and I didn’t want to knock again. I wasn’t sure how she would react to me setting up camp in the hallway, waiting to talk to her again, but I had to try something.
My three texts also went unanswered.
Maybe I should have called her. However, if she didn’t answer it would go to voicemail and I wasn’t certain what I should say. The whole thing had been one big misunderstanding which had blown up in my face.
Meri wasn’t the only one who had been deceived by Tara’s manipulations. However, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have taken Tara’s advice. I had taken her words at face value, believing her when she told me how best to handle Meri so that we could negotiate for the film rights to Ember and Ink.
I should have simply been honest from the start.
If I had only told Meri that I was with the film company wanting to buy the rights, I might have avoided this whole misunderstanding.
I had told myself it would complicate something that didn’t need to be complicated.
I had assumed I could understand her position first, build something that resembled trust, and then explain it in a way that made sense.
It was totally backward of what I should have done.
The worst part was that sitting outside her door right now, I didn’t care about the film rights at all. I cared if she was okay or not and if maybe, just maybe, I could fix things between us again.
I looked up at the ceiling, my eyes tracing the seams between the panels. How long I had been sitting there, I didn’t know.
Footsteps came down the hall. I ignored them, thinking they belonged to a group of guests on the floor and I didn’t feel like interacting with them.
“Well, this is interesting." Ben said as he took in the situation.
I turned my head to find Topher and San watching me as well with concerned expressions on their faces.
“Why are you sitting on the floor?” San asked.
“Because he’s clearly had an excellent afternoon," Topher added with sarcasm.
“It didn’t go well," I admitted.
Ben nodded once. “That answers the first question. How is Meri?”
“Meri?” Topher asked, a little confused. “What happened to Meri? The last I saw you were going off stage with Elowyn and some other lady was chasing you both down."
“That would have been her publicist Tara," I tiredly explained.
“The one she fired? Oh," San nodded. “She looked uptight. I would have fired her too."
“You don’t even know her," I mildly reproached him, then thought better of it. “Although, she deserves to be fired."
“Okay, I think it’s time we go someplace private to talk this through," Ben suggested as another group of people came down the hall, this time a family with their pool gear.
“My room is right here across the hall," I pointed to it.
Ben reached down, grabbed my hand and helped to haul me to my feet.
I unlocked my door, glancing back at Meri’s before I led the way into my hotel suite. Opening the mini fridge, I offered them all a drink before grabbing a bottle of water for myself. “It’s a long story."
“Then it’s best to start at the beginning," San advised as he sat down in one of the armchairs.
“My production company put in a bid to the publisher of Ember and Ink to buy the film rights for the series," I mentioned, leaning against the counter.
“Bold," Topher said in admiration.
“The idea was to make our mark early with a popular production. We all loved the story and had a couple of prewritten scripts of where we thought it could go. The problem was, the publishing company was dragging on the project. We couldn’t get a definitive answer from them.
Then Elowyn’s agent contacted us and we thought we had an in," I explained.
“The uptight broad that Elowyn fired?” San questioned.
“Play nice," Topher warned San. “We respect others until we have a reason not to."
“What happened?” Ben asked.
“I didn’t actually meet her but we talked over the phone.
Tara said that the publisher had the film rights but ultimately Elowyn had the final say on who did the project.
She advised that if we wanted a chance at the movie, I should go meet Elowyn.
" I took a long sip of water, trying to sort out my words for this trickier part of the conversation.
“Tara told me Elowyn was hesitant. She didn’t know if she could trust someone with such a big project that meant so much to her.
Tara suggested meeting Elowyn, getting to know her, then making the pitch so that Elowyn would know me and feel more comfortable about the project. "
“Isn’t that kind of underhanded? Meeting Elowyn without really telling her why you’re meeting her?” Topher frowned.
“Believe me, I’m regretting it," I grimly admitted.
“So you went along with the plan. You met her, you became friendly, and now what? She’s mad at you? Was that part of the reason she stormed off the stage and you went after her?” San prompted.
“It’s worse than that," Ben said.
“Tara lied. Only Elowyn has the film rights and I’m guessing Tara and the publishing company have been pressuring Elowyn for a while, which is why Tara came up with this scheme for me to schmooze my way in and charm the author.
Like an idiot, I agreed. I thought Tara, being the agent, would know her client, that it would work.
" I shook my head, thinking about how gullible and dumb I had been.
“Why is she so upset? I don’t get it." San frowned.
“This goes no farther than this room. You can’t tell anyone, ever. If you do, I will never be friends with you again," I threatened.
Topher blinked in surprise. “Wow. What’s up Aryn?”
“I mean it," I warned them.
“Okay, okay," San said, putting his hands up in surrender.
Topher nodded.
“Elowyn Ashwood is Meri Bennet," I told them.
“You’re in deep quicksand," Topher grimly advised.
“I know," I agreed, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “I messed up."
“The girl who played Dungeons and Dragons with us is the famous author Elowyn Ashwood," San murmured.
Ben crossed his arms. “So from her perspective, you show up, you’re giving her signals that you’re interested in her, you’re talking about her work, and then she finds out you’ve been working with her agent behind her back to pressure her into selling the film rights to her books."
“He’s interested in her?” San questioned.
“He brought her to play with us and she wore his hoodie. They like each other. Well, did like each other. How she feels about him now is suspect," Ben answered.
“Wait, how did she know about Aryn working with her agent Tara?” San wondered.
“I’m guessing she overheard Tara talking to me before the panel," I admitted with a sigh. “Tara was being pushy."
“Well that would explain why she fired her agent and publisher live on the internet," Topher dryly stated.
“Yeah," Ben said. “That’s not going to go well."
“It gets worse," I revealed. “After we left the stage, Tara said some things."
“Like what?” San asked.
“She called Meri a freak."
Ben straightened slightly, crossing his arms. “She said that to her face?”
Ben had a thing about people bullying other people. I knew he was genuinely upset. I nodded. “Yes."
Topher exhaled slowly. “That’s not just unprofessional. That’s retaliatory."
“Meri was already struggling before that, with people being around and the questions at the panel, but the confrontation with Tara just tipped her over the edge," I said. “She just started crying and I didn’t know what to do. Nothing I was saying was getting through. No matter how many times I apologized or tried to explain, she just didn’t hear it.
Finally, I just picked her up and brought her to her room.
I thought it was the best thing to do but she told me to leave her alone and shut the door in my face. "
“I mean, I can see why," San muttered.
“I messed up, okay? I took the advice of someone I thought knew her and had her best interests at heart. Apparently, I was deceived. Do I wish I had been honest from the start? Yes. That’s my mistake, I’ll own that.
I could have avoided all of this if I had just told her everything," I admitted. Pacing around the limited space in the room. “I don’t care about the film right now. All I want to know is if she’s okay and what I can do to fix this. I genuinely care about her."
“Give her a chance to calm down and explain it all. I’m sure Meri will understand," San confidently said. “Get her flowers."
Ben looked at him uncertainly. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy."
“It’s definitely not going to be that easy." Topher looked at me more closely. “You know she’s autistic, right?”
I stopped pacing to look at him. “What? No she’s not."
“She’s a high functioning, high masking autistic," Topher wryly insisted. “My sister has a lot of the same attributes that Meri has. She may be diagnosed or not even know it. Most women aren’t diagnosed as kids because they don’t have the same symptoms as boys.
Then they grow up and no one is interested in diagnosing them because they’ve been masking and managing.
It took a meltdown and burnout that lasted months before my sister finally got diagnosed. "
“You think she’s autistic," I echoed, a little shocked by the idea.
“Sure. She hates close contact with people she doesn’t trust or know.
You said she borrowed your hoodie because she needed soft clothes.
She fidgets by pulling on the edge of her sleeves.
I noticed Meri doesn’t like eye contact.
She’s looking at our face, but not our eyes.
One might think she was lip reading, which she might very well be due to sensory issues.
She also stems through humming. It was soft, but it was there," Topher listed off what he had observed.
“You saw all that this morning," I murmured, a little in awe of him and feeling like a jerk for missing the signs.
Topher shrugged. “I’m paid to be observant as a lawyer. Plus, I know a lot from researching about my sister."
“What else did you see?” I wondered.
“Well, she’s obviously overwhelmed. She hated being on the panel, having everyone stare at her.
With the photos earlier she would have people demanding her attention, standing too close, lots of flash from cameras.
I don’t know if you noticed, but it was pretty loud too.
All of that would be a lot of stress, then with Tara and you on top of it, no wonder she had a meltdown," Topher replied.
“So what do I do?” I questioned, feeling slightly desperate. “I don’t care about the film. I care about her."
“Right now, you need to leave her alone," Topher advised.
“How is that going to help?” San questioned. “Leaving her alone means she thinks you don’t care."
“Meri’s in survival mode. Right now she needs quiet, no demands on her attention, and to be in control.
My sister bed rotted for months, watching television, scrolling her phone, reading, and ignoring the world outside.
The only thing we did was make sure she had all her favorite foods and ask that she shower once in a while.
Sometimes even just taking care of basic needs is hard.
" Topher paused, thinking about how to phrase his next words. “We don’t get it because even when things are hard, we move forward. For my sister, every day is five times harder than mine. She smells more, sees more, hears more. She has to filter through all these extra things that I never notice. I put a shirt on. She has to have a soft shirt so it doesn’t scratch her skin and cut the tags because they irritate her to the point of wanting to rip the shirt up.
It sounds silly, but if you suddenly had ten times stronger hearing, you might have a hard time with all the noise around you.
“And it never stops. She can’t take a break from it.
Autistic people are more likely to be unemployed.
They miss social cues. They can’t always tell when we’re sad or happy.
Sometimes they don’t even know when they are sad or happy.
It’s like the emotional awareness that society has is missing for them.
They have a harder time making friends. Life is just generally harder even when they are incredibly smart.
My sister was on the honor roll, but she can’t stay employed.
She burns out every three to five years to the point where she can’t function.
I can’t imagine what Meri is going through, being here at this conference, pretending to be someone she’s not for her fans," Topher concluded.
“Wow, dude. I had no idea," Ben murmured.
Topher shrugged. “Well, it’s not something she normally wants talked about. I bet Meri doesn’t really talk about it either."
“So I need to give her some time to recover then try again," I murmured.
“And don’t overwhelm her," Topher advised.
The guys decided to take their leave then and I sat down, trying to think through what to say and what to do.
Hours later, I walked across the hall, hoping to check in on Meri to see if she needed anything. The door was open and the cleaning staff were working on the room.
She was gone.