Chapter Thirty
Jo
T he rain hasn’t stopped all weekend, but when there is the smallest break in dark clouds overhead and the droplets stop pelting my tiny kitchen window, I move my pouting outdoors.
Of all the things I’ve hated about myself, my brain has never been on the list.
I’ve always been able to take pride in school and how smart I am.
Top of my class, the one to set the curve on tests, and the overall ease in learning new subjects.
Yet, I’ve never felt dumber in my entire life.
Lochlan hasn’t spoken to me since he stormed away from me in the parking lot at the event.
I rode home with Jordy, Seiver, and Curtis.
All of whom are normally chatty with me, but didn’t offer me a word of support or advice.
I’ve really wrecked things this time.
I kick the little pebbles that haven’t succumbed to the mud, wandering across the gravel lot until I’m near the barns.
I shouldn’t go any further, I’m not supposed to.
Instead of turning around and heading back to where all my textbooks are laid out in my depression room, my feet stay stuck in the same spot.
I can’t move forward, and I don’t want to go back.
I tip my head back, staring into the dull gray sky, until the faintest of mists tickles my face.
I should go back inside before my hair gets frizzy.
My feet pivot, and I watch the gates open to a shiny Audi SUV.
I turn back to the barns and bolt, dodging between two of the buildings because I know who drives that car.
It’s only a moment before they’re blaring the horn, and I hear the transmission shift into park.
“JoAnna! I saw you!”
Very reluctantly, I emerge from my hiding spot.
“What do you want, Austin?”
“I’m here to bring you home.”
“What? No.”
“Your parents informed me that I’m not to leave without you.”
“That’s not my problem. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“You don’t have a choice. You need to come with me.”
The door to the garage beside me flies open suddenly, banging into the metal siding and making me jump.
Hayes steps out, glaring at Austin.
He’s holding a crowbar in his hand, looking too lethal for someone with his rap sheet.
“Who doesn’t have a choice?” He asks with deadly composure, stepping up beside me.
I’m incredibly concerned that he intends to use that crowbar on Austin until he flips one end over the other in his hand like a bat, handing it to me.
He doesn’t need it to cause serious damage.
I can see it in his eyes, and that makes me more nervous.
Lochlan said he would never hurt a woman, but he didn’t say he wasn’t still dangerous or violent.
I’ve seen how they handle situations here.
There’s a reason Hayes is the only person who can keep Lochlan in check.
Austin is visibly nervous being confronted by a man, and Hayes takes notice, crossing his tatted arms and smirking.
“She doesn’t belong here, and if you try to stop me, then I’ll make a call to get you thrown back in prison,” he threatens.
“Is that so?”
“Parolees can’t slip up.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not on parole anymore.”
Austin blanches.
That must’ve been his only defense, and it just went up in smoke.
“Doesn’t matter. A criminal history is a criminal history.”
“I’m not a man who cares much about that.”
“You would go back to prison for her?” He scoffs.
“I’d go back to prison if it meant doing what’s right.”
Seiver pops through the doorway out of nowhere, “Me too.”
Jordy comes around the corner.
“I’d go back to.”
My nose is burning as my vision starts to blur from tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
I don’t want any of them to get in trouble for me, but it humbles me that they’d be willing.
“You can’t stay here and marry some man who has been to prison. It will ruin your brother’s campaign.”
In all honesty, I’m still not sure that Lochlan is going to go along with my scheme.
He hasn’t confirmed that he’d pretend to be my fiancé, but it’s safer to let Austin assume things between Lochlan and me are real.
So I keep my lips shut and let him fume.
“This is ridiculous.” Austin’s pale face is growing red and peaked at my silence.
“You can’t stay here with him. ”
“And, who’s going to take her from me?” Lochlan’s deep voice rumbles out of nowhere, making me gasp.
He approached without being seen in that elusive way he’s perfected, stepping up and looming behind Austin, forcing the grown man to shrink in terror.
“This is private property. You don’t belong here.”
“I just– I was– I–” Austin stutters, scrambling away from the dangerous man he thinks is my fiancé.
“Get the fuck out and don’t come back. Or, I’ll make sure you never leave again,” he threatens twistedly.
Austin jumps into his car and reverses before he gets his door shut, throwing mud with his tires as he flees.
Silence descends as my body trembles.
Lochlan approaches me, and I can’t tear my eyes off of him, waiting to hear what he has to say about being dragged into more of my mess.
He tugs the crowbar from my grip, tossing it back to Hayes behind me.
He jerks his head slightly, and I know that means everyone around us will disappear, leaving me alone with him.
“Are you okay?”
I nod shakily, unable to tear my eyes from his.
“That’s not acceptable. People can’t come here and threaten to make you leave.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’d have the nerve to come here,” I rasp between breaths.
“No, Jo, you don’t understand. No one gets to come here and threaten you. With anything. No one gets to touch you, I’ll never let that happen.” His dark eyes bore into mine, forcing me to understand.
“You’re not mad at me?”
“I’m furious,” he mutters, holding my face in his big hands to soften my chattering teeth.
“But, as long as you’re here, I’ll do whatever you need me to if it means keeping you from their grasp.”
“You mean you’ll be my fake fiancé?”
“You know that I can’t say no to you.”
My cheeks grin against his rough palms, soothing me with his touch.
“You’ve told me no plenty of times.”
“Yet, somehow you keep getting away with shit.” He sighs.
“We’ll keep up the charade until you get your trust. That’s the deal.”
“Okay, deal.”
He inhales roughly as if he already regrets it and mutters, “Here we go.”
* * *
“My favorite color is lavender. My favorite flowers are peonies.”
“What color peonies?” He scratches his head as if he’s cramming for a test he’ll fail.
We’re on the porch, debriefing about our relationship against his will.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why does any of this matter? This is fake.”
“But on the outside, it needs to look real. You need to know all the little details that couples should know.”
He sighs roughly.
“I know you like vanilla ice cream with chunks of chocolate and cookies, but not chocolate ice cream, and especially at night. You get your nails painted a different color every two weeks. The last time you did your hair, you came back looking different, and I finally realized you’re not a blonde. I don’t know what that means in terms of hair, but I noticed. You’ve been watching movies during the day while you work, when you think I’m not paying attention. You talk to yourself while you type, and all of your sticky notes are in half print-half cursive.”
My jaw hangs open.
“Wow.”
“I’ve seen your textbooks when you leave them lying out, you’re the smartest person I know, and we’ve been around each other for months, this won’t be hard for you.”
The smartest person he knows.
“I’ve never even had a boyfriend, pardon me if I’m a little intimidated.” I turn my back on him and stare out across the property, ignoring his flattering comment.
“You’re overthinking this.”
“Of course, I am. That’s what I do.”
“Don’t think of us as a couple.” I turn to him to protest, but he continues, standing closer than he was a moment ago.
“I’m a man, you’re a woman. As long as you hover near me and brush your hand down my arm every couple of minutes, no one will question our… Familiarity,” he murmurs, standing so closely that he has to look down to see me.
“Like this,” I whisper, gripping the back of his bicep and letting my fingers fall gently to his elbow.
“Yes.”
“Or, this?” My other hand raises to his chest, my palm flattening to mold to his sternum.
He doesn’t confirm, but when I glance into his eyes, there’s a storm raging.
He’s told me that I’m a beautiful woman, gorgeous even, but he’s never admitted to being attracted to me.
I always assumed men don’t see me as a sexual being.
But, something in his eyes tells me more than his words ever have.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
“Should I stop touching you, now?”
“Yes,” he exhales the word, but stops my hand from leaving his chest with his own.
He’s a very confusing man.
“What if…” He’s watching my mouth form my words so intensely that I can hardly complete my thought.
“What if we need to do more than touch like this?” I swallow thickly as his brow furrows deeper.
“What if we need to kiss?”
“Why would we need to kiss?” His low voice barely reaches my ears, even though we’re close enough to do just that.
“No one bats an eye when a soon-to-be married couple shows a little PDA. It’s expected,” I murmur, my breath skipping when his head leans immeasurably closer.
“You want your first kiss to be fake?” He asks, his hand cupping the back of my neck to tilt my head closer, and my heart beats like a drum against my chest.
“Technically, my first kiss was in 7th grade with a boy named Theodore.”
He grumbles deep from his chest as if he despises the thought.
“Fine, your first kiss as an adult.”
“Yes.”
His face inches closer, near enough that my eyes flutter shut, until I feel his nose trace the line of my jaw, making me shiver.
“I’m sorry, I can’t.”
He releases me suddenly and is gone before I can blink my eyes open.