Chapter 35
My knees dig into the hardwood floor as I fill my packing cubes to the brim. I don’t leave until Wednesday, two days from now, and I’ll only be in New York for a few days. I realize I’m over-preparing, but it’s from excitement. I’m looking forward to meeting Roland and learning more about Rychess Media and their nonprofit division. Truthfully, I fear I’ve over-committed, and I have a lot to learn. It’ll be hard work, but for once, it’s not work I’m dreading.
Standing, I stretch my back, pressing my bare feet into the cool wood floors. I know when I get back, it’s time to look for a new place. As much as I enjoy living fifty yards away from Noa, I’m ready to take my own steps and start my new beginning. I have to promise myself not to fall in love with New York. I just moved home from L.A., and Quinn might actually lock me in a basement if I try to leave again.
I head to my kitchen to fetch a drink, when I check my phone. The ringer was on silent and I missed eight calls from Adam. Panicking, I dial him immediately, fearing the worst. Mr. Montgomery comes to the forefront of my mind, then Carson.
“There you are,” Adam says. “A little late, though. Noa already let me in the main gate.”
“What?” My heart thumps as I race to the bay window at the front of the guest house. I have a panoramic view of the estate from this large window and can easily spot a very familiar Porsche parked in front of Chase and Noa’s house.
Adam must spot me because the driver’s side door opens before he steps out and waves.
“Wow,” I say, clutching my phone tighter.
“What?” he asks, staring in my direction. “Surprised?”
“I forgot how hot you are.”
He holds his hand over his chest as he roars in laughter. “Can you see me from all the way over there?”
“Barely. Why don’t you swagger on over here,” I sass.
“As you watch from the window?”
“Yup. And walk slowly. Really strut your stuff.”
“Now who’s the stalker?” He pulls off his sunglasses, then ducks back into the car. He reemerges with a brown paper bag and heads in my direction. But neither of us hangs up. My heart is racing out of control, a million thoughts running through my mind as he gets closer.
“What are you doing here?”
“Business,” he says simply.
Sometimes I forget I live on the same premises as his best friend and only client. And Chase is home from filming now. They probably have a lot to prepare for his movie promotional obligations.
I thought it’d be awkward when Chase got back, but turns out I think I have more in common with him than I realized. We swap war stories about social media trolls and the ugly parts of the entertainment industry. Both of us spent most of our careers vying for everyone’s approval. And now, we’re both healing from it.
“Did you land Chase another big movie role?” I ask as Adam arrives at the walkway. Unable to contain my excitement, I rip open the front door and step onto the porch, bare feet and all.
“Not that kind of business,” Adam says as he takes the two concrete steps in one stride. He stops two feet away from me and puts down his phone. “I had a whole speech planned, but now that I’m here, I need to do this first.”
“Do what?”
My head fogs over as I soak him in. His deep brown eyes look a little honey-colored in the direct sunlight. It looks like he shaved and got a fresh haircut. And goddamn, he smells so good. It takes everything in me not to reach out and run my fingertips against his baby-smooth-looking cheek.
“Hey, summer girl, you can hang up now. I’m right here.”
“Oh, right.” I laugh as I pull the phone from my ear, dropping it to my side. “Do what?” I ask again.
Adam sets down the bag and wraps one hand around the back of my neck, guiding me to his lips. He secures his other arm around my back so tightly, you’d think a boa constrictor was trying to snap me in half. But I understand the urge. I could crawl into his skin and it wouldn’t be close enough.
At first, his kiss is tender and sweet. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispers against my mouth. But when I part my lips, just slightly, his tongue fills me desperately. His hand drops to my ass. Then up my back. He squeezes my waist, then grips my hips, like he’s trying to touch every part of me at once. I have to peel our bodies apart when his hand slips into the waistband of my pants. I don’t trust myself not to get carried away right here on this porch.
“I don’t think you’ve ever kissed me like that before.” I tilt my chin up to look into his eyes.
He runs his finger against my top lip. “I don’t think I’ve ever missed you this much.”
“Well, maybe you should miss me more.” I waggle my eyebrows and flash him a cute grin. “Because I’d like more kisses like that.”
“No, Amani. I’m done missing you now.”
I place my hand against his chest, feeling the silky smooth material of his polo. His heart is thumping almost as hard as mine. “Really good line, Adam.”
He chuckles at our inside joke, then points to the door. “May I come in?” I grab the bag on the ground, then his hand and lead him inside. As soon as he closes the door behind him, he lets out a dramatic exhale. “Damn, it’s sweltering in here.”
“Yeah, sorry. I think I’m the only one who has their heat on in April. My toes are always cold. Pop open that big window. It’ll cool down in no time.”
“That’s okay. Keep your toes comfortable. I’ve accepted that a life with you means I’ll permanently run a little hot.”
“So gallant,” I tease. Holding out his paper bag with the thin handles, I ask, “Did you bring me a present?”
“Sort of. I’m returning something.”
I peek into the bag and see the stuffed pickle I left for Adam. “What is this?”
“I couldn’t believe you left Picolas Cage behind. He belongs in your keepsake box.”
I stifle a laugh. “First of all, if we’re giving ridiculous names to that pickle, it is most definitely Briny Spears. Second, that’s really sweet, but my keepsake box is for items that mark an important memory.” I squeeze the stuffed pickle and it groans in a familiar low wail. “This was a silly gift from Addie. I have too many of those to fit in one box.”
Adam holds out his hand, asking for the stuffed toy. “It’s an important memory to me. The first time I saw this pickle, I knew I loved you and that I’d do anything, and I mean crazy things, for you.”
I smile. “Like offering to have a baby with me?”
“Starting a family with you wasn’t crazy. What was crazy was being so afraid I couldn’t make you happy that I wanted you to hurry up and leave me. Based on my past experiences, I figured it was bound to happen anyway.”
I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable. Adam always has a plan, and money is never an obstacle. I always thought the world was easy for him. I had no idea he was hurting as much as I was.
“I didn’t want to leave you. But I didn’t want you to be solely responsible for my happiness. Your mom told me that facing anxiety and depression isn’t just about taking action when you’re hurting. It’s about prioritizing yourself even when things are going well.” I gesture around to the living room. “I’ve been cooking, crafting, reading—nothing scholarly, mostly just Addie’s naughty romance books. I find them far more informative.”
Adam grins. “Good to know.”
“We did the right thing, Adam. I needed to come home. I could heal at home.”
“I agree,” he says, crossing the space between us. “But I should’ve been here while you were working through everything. I shouldn’t have believed that all you wanted from me was a baby. But I’m here now. I want to be where you are. So now Denver is my home.”
“What about your dad? I thought you couldn’t leave?”
“Alex has the arduous job of teaching my dad to use FaceTime.” He blows out a breath, chuckling. “I’ll visit and call. But my dad has a lot of love and support, and I shouldn’t have used him as an excuse because I was scared.”
He’s come so far. I’m proud of Adam. And I’m proud of myself, too. You should be with the person who loves the best version of you and cheers on the worst. We hurt together. Now, it’s time to heal together.
Adam reaches over my shoulder and pulls a folded note from the bag. “Now I said I was here for business. See, I think I know why our first contract didn’t work.”
The note where Adam asked me to have a baby with him is indeed still in my keepsake box. But this one is slightly different. There are still two checkboxes, labeled yes and no. But instead of “will you have a baby with me,” there’s a different question.
I read the note in my hand. “Will you be my forever?”
“Definitely, but don’t steal my line,” Adam says with a mischievous grin. “That note is asking you.”
“I was just reading it, smart-ass,” I reply playfully. “Are you sure, though?”
He wraps his arms around me. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t just blink and make my problems go away. I don’t know if social media caused it or just exacerbated it, but I’m going to have ups and downs for the rest of my life. Are you going to push me away when I’m sad?”
He shakes his head somberly. “I’ll be sad when you’re sad. And it’ll frustrate me that I can’t fix it. But I won’t push you away.”
I twist my lips, nervous to ask the most important question on my mind. “What about a baby? I can’t give that to you. After all we’ve been through, don’t you want a family?”
“Of course I do. That’s why I’m here.” Grabbing the note from my hand, he sets it on the counter and pulls a pen out of the bag, wiggling it between his thumb and forefinger. “If you want a baby, Amani, there are other ways. And if you don’t, that’s okay too. You’re my family.You’re my forever. I am signing up for whatever version of our lives keeps us together.”
Playing along, I check the box for yes, and sign my name. “There. You really think this is enough?”
“Damn straight I do,” Adam says, pulling out a girlie looking rubber stamp and a pink ink pad out of the bag. “Just to be safe, we’re going to notarize it this time.”
“Oh no,” I whine. “It was almost perfect, you big cheeseball. But this is a ladybug, not a butterfly stamp.”
Adam scowls. “This was all the office supply store had, and I was in a hurry to get here. Quit poking holes in my big romantic gesture.”
I laugh as I push the rubber stamp into the ink pad. A perfectly pressed ladybug outline stares back at me from the left corner of the note. “Well, that does it. I’m your problem forever now.”
Adam grins, his smile taking over his entire face as his sweet dimples deepen. “Thank God.”
I pop him with an open palm square on his forehead. It was barely a tap, but the smack sounds dramatic. Adam didn’t even flinch. He just stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. Eventually, he clears his throat and says, “I’m definitely open to a little light spanking, but not on the forehead.”
I cackle, feeling full of joy, energy, and a lot of new hope. “Boomerang, baby. You let me go, and I came right back. Smacked you right in the face.”
He laughs and kisses my forehead. “A mistake I’ll only make once. Never again, Amani. This deal is for forever.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and burrow into his hard chest, breathing in the fancy cologne he still claims he doesn’t wear. “I love you, summer guy.”
“I love you too, forever girl.” He pats my butt. “Now, there’s one more item in that bag.”
Stepping out of his embrace, I peek into the brown paper bag and see a jewelry box. Oh God. Seriously? I pick up the small blue box, refusing to open it. I try to hand it to him, but he doesn’t take it.
“Adam,” I protest, “I missed you, and I’m so happy you’re here. But we just reconciled. I haven’t seen you in almost two months. I’m wearing pajama shorts, for crying out loud. From the bottom of my heart, I want to be your wife one day. But this isn’t the right time to ask. I just—”
“What do you think that is, Amani?”
“An engagement ring?” I ask.
He grimaces. “Oh, boy. Okay, yep, I get it. Square box. I can see why… Damn.” He rubs the back of his neck as he clears his throat. “Um… It’s not a ring. It’s an intimate piercing.”
With my cheeks flushing from embarrassment, I pop open the box lid. There lies a small, albeit beautiful, little piercing with an emerald gem.
“I saw it while I was at the store. The green reminded me of your eyes. I was being playful.”
A little lost for words, I slide my tongue between my lips, wetting them. “What the fuck kind of office supply store were you shopping at?”
He lets out a breathy laugh. “No, I’ve had that for a while.”
“Well, now I’m embarrassed for assuming,” I grumble, touching my hot cheeks with the back of my hand.
He pulls me back into his body and runs his thumb across my cheeks. “These freckles,” he murmurs. “Amani, when I propose to you, it’s going to be in a place as beautiful as you are. I’ll fly you to Paris, Bora Bora, or Milan, and treat you to the most romantic night of your life. I’m going to earn your ‘yes.’ I’m not going to casually throw a ring at you in Chase Ford’s guest house, okay?”
I nod. “Good call. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He nuzzles the top of my head before planting a kiss. I enjoy his arms for as long as I can until a different stirring kicks up below my navel.
“Hey, Adam?”
“Yes, baby?”
I wriggle the box in front of him, the little green gem clanking against the piercing. “Come on. Let’s go try it on.”