Chapter Sixteen
Hayes
“What exactly is your plan?” Lochlan asks as we sit around the fire pit.
Liv is spending the night at Thea’s, a seemingly normal endeavor, and I needed the opportunity to catch up with my real boss. Lochlan’s been chill about my comings and goings, but I think it’s because he knows what having Liv back in my life means to me.
“I don’t really have a plan. Being around her is more than I ever thought I’d have again.”
“Yeah, but I know you, Hayes. You’ve pined after this woman long enough. Being near her won’t be enough.”
“It has to be. That’s all she’ll give me.”
“You know she’s supposed to get married?”
“I know.”
“And, as a sane person, you have to let that happen.”
I chug my drink instead of responding.
“Hayes,” he warns.
“I know. Damn, Lochlan. Just kick me when I’m down.”
“Believe it or not, I’m trying to protect you.”
I do believe him because if anyone knows anything about me, Lochlan knows that I am not a sane person.
He’s protected me since the day we became cellmates, including saving me from myself.
“The last thing I want to do is cause her more grief in her life. I want her to be happy. If marrying that jerk off will do that, then…” I shrug in indifference, letting my sentence die.
Lochlan only stares into the flames, ignoring my attempt at being an honorable man.
“What’s Jo up to tonight?” They’ve been inside each other’s skin since they made things official. I’m surprised she isn’t curled up on his lap right now.
He finishes his drink instead of responding.
“Loch?”
A deep grumble escapes his chest. “She was invited to a girl… Thing.”
“A girl thing?”
“Yes.”
“Lochlan.” My brute friend does not do coy well.
“She was invited to a bachelorette party.”
“A bachelore–” My thoughts finally catch up to my mouth. “Oh. Liv’s?”
He pauses before taking a drink from his new bottle of beer. “Yeah.”
My skin starts to itch as a thousand-pound boulder weighs on my chest. “What exactly were they doing? Or, where were they going?” I ask as pain grips my throat.
“Nope, not telling you a damn thing.”
“Fuck you, Loch!” I yell, uncharacteristically, and yank at my hair.
He stands from his chair. “Alright, let’s go.”
“No, I’m fine. I’m cool.”
“Get your ass to the garage, or I’ll drag you there myself.”
Thirty minutes later, I’m drenched in sweat as Lochlan and I spar, taking turns with the punching bag that I’ve worn into a heap of faded leather and frayed seams.
It’s my place to work out the aggression that I let control my life for too long, the outbursts that always got me in trouble. Whenever I need to blow off steam, I end up in this corner of the garage, punishing my fists.
Another thirty minutes go by until I’m bent over and braced on my knees, catching my breath.
“Feel better?” Lochlan asks through his own exhaustion.
“Yeah, thanks, man.”
He studies me for a minute but nods, leaving me to my thoughts as sweat drips down my face.
* * *
12 years ago…
“Stop following me, Jensen. You’re not invited.”
“You never told me what you were doing.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“I’m your best friend, of course, it’s my business.”
“Fine, best friend. I’m going on a date.”
“With who?”
“A boy from school.”
“Yeah, who?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll try to scare him off.”
“Why would I ever–” I start to lie, but she cuts me off.
“I know that’s what you’ve been doing. Scotty let it slip when he was canceling our study date last week.”
“He’s lying.”
“No! You’re lying, and I’m sick of it. You don’t get to sabotage me!”
“I’m not trying to sabotage you, Liv. I’m trying to look out for you.”
“Well, stop. I might have daddy issues, but I didn’t ask for a father figure. I can make my own choices.”
“I’m sorry,” I utter, but she’s already storming away from me.
She’s not even off to college yet, but I’m already losing her.
“Liv, wait!” I close the distance between us, but she doesn’t turn around. I have to cut her off to force her to look at me. “You’re right, okay? I’ll stop interfering.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“You’re going to stand back while I talk to boys?”
“Yes.”
“You’re going to be cool if I get a boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“And, what made you see the light suddenly?”
“You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me.”
“You’re important to me, too.” She wraps her arms around my waist, and I squeeze her to my chest.
Too soon, she’s pulling away, and I know I’m fucked. Seeing her with anyone else is going to kill me.
She’s mine. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.
“Meet you at the swing set later?” She asks as she skips away.
“I’ll be there.” I’ll always be there.
* * *
Present…
“I knew you couldn’t leave well enough alone,” Lochlan calls to my back. He must’ve been waiting around the corner to catch me sneaking out.
“I’m not going to see her.”
“Liar.”
“What if she needs me?”
“Why the hell would she need you?”
“She could be drunk. Her stalker could be waiting for his opportunity.”
“Are you sure you aren’t the stalker?”
“Fuck off, Loch.” He chuckles to himself. “What if it was Jo?”
“Don’t bring her into this.”
Ever since he met Jo, he was a grizzly about her. He protected her before he was ever ready to admit how in love he was. Now they’re playing house, and I’m still the lone loser pining after the one that got away.
“If Jo had a stalker, you wouldn’t leave her alone for a second.”
He sighs. “I know, but this is different. Liv isn’t yours to protect.”
“She’ll always be mine to protect.”
He nods in understanding because he knows. Men like us don’t let anything hurt the people we love.
“Jo already texted me. She said they’re all hanging out at Thea’s, drinking margaritas. She’s fine.”
“Great, then she won’t even know I’m there.” I ignore any of his objections as I get on my bike, twisting the throttle before the engine has a chance to warm up, pretending I can’t hear him.
I’ll pay for that later, but I don’t care.
I’m an addict who needs his fix.