Chapter Seventeen
Liv
“Alright, last game of the night,” Thea announces, setting a bottle of tequila and a stack of cards on the coffee table that’s already covered in obscenely shaped confetti.
“If I take any more shots, I might puke,” Callie, Thea’s sister-in-law, giggles.
“Me too,” Jo adds. She and Callie only met this evening, but have become fast friends.
“Natalie and I have been drinking more than all of you,” I say, hiccuping as I adjust my brIDE crown. “Thea should be the most drunk since this is her house.”
“I’m still building my tolerance back up,” she giggles. She hardly drank for six years, but she isn’t holding back for my bachelorette celebration.
“What’s the game?” Natalie asks, divvying out the shot glasses. She’s fun to hang out with. She’s a lot looser than Jackson is, but even though they’re such opposites, they seem to work.
“Truth or drink,” Thea shuffles the cards as Callie and Jo moan simultaneously.
“I’m going to need a week to recover,” Callie feigns distress with her pink feathered boa, and we all laugh.
“That’s why I saved this game for last! Everyone has to spill their guts,” Thea threatens humorously. “Okay, the bride-to-be goes first!”
“Where is the most dangerous place you’ve had sex?” I set the card down, starting the discard pile. “Umm, probably the roof of our dorm building. The door to the stairs locked, and we were stranded for hours until someone could sneak up there and set us free.”
“I remember that! They put a chain on the door after that,” Thea cackles with laughter, and I mirror it, losing my breath because I’m laughing so hard.
“My turn,” Callie says. “Does your most recent partner/significant other arouse you without touching you?”
She ponders her response as she discards. “Sorry, Thea, but hell yeah!” She raises her margarita, and we all clink glasses even though we’re beyond wasted already.
Elliot doesn’t even arouse me when he does touch me. I down my drink.
“Ugh, gross. That’s my brother.” Thea shivers in disgust and picks up the next card.
“When’s the last time you had sex? The person who has been without the longest has to drink.” She thinks for a second. “Jesse and I did it in the shower yesterday morning before Kate woke up.”
“I gave Jackson a bj in his cruiser last night, does that count?” Natalie admits, tossing her pink boa around her neck proudly.
“Ew, I did not want to know that,” Jo says as she giggles because Jackson is her half-brother. “Lochlan and I have been taking a few days off. I was pretty sore after we got home from our weekend trip.” Her cheeks flame, and we all end up doubled over in laughter.
“Nathan fucked me twice before I came over earlier,” Callie adds, and we all lose it further until tears are streaming down our faces in laughter, and Thea has to run to the bathroom before she pees herself.
“Well, I lose. Long-distance relationship,” I shrug, pouring myself a shot of tequila. The smell hits me, and my entire body cringes. The shot burns all the way down my throat into my belly.
Thea locks eyes with me as she sits back in her seat, and I ignore the sympathy. She knows that it’s more than the distance between Elliot and me.
I didn’t even want a bachelorette party, but she insisted that we stick with some normalcy as the wedding approaches. Everything is so hectic in my life, as my best friend and maid of honor, she’s doing her best not to see me spiral.
“My turn,” Jo says. “Anal?” She throws the card like it’s on fire, and the hyena laughter ensues again.
“Stop, I’m going to pee again,” Thea wheezes.
“The trick is really good lube.” Natalie winks at Jo, and her eyes go wide, pinging to mine.
“Don’t look at me. I’ve never done it. Willing,” I amend, “but have never tried.”
“Oh my God!” Jo covers her face with her hands until our giggling fit subsides.
“Have you ever thought of another person while having sex?” Natalie lays her card down and shrugs. “Definitely in the past, but not with Jackson. Boo, that was an easy one.”
I don’t know why my eyes find Thea’s right away, but the sadness I see on her face isn’t anything but a direct reflection of my inner thoughts.
I’ve definitely thought of someone else while having sex. One person specifically.
“I’m sorry, guys, the tequila is getting to my head. I need some air.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Thea asks, standing up when I do.
“I’ll be right on the porch, I’ll be fine.” I walk to the door, and her concern follows me. “I’ll keep it cracked.”
My skin is warm from the alcohol, and the breeze feels cool as it sweeps over me. Giggles filter out here to the porch from inside, and it makes me smile.
Being around this group of women is healing, but it’s a reminder of what I’ll be missing once I leave.
Once I got to college, I never had problems making friends, but once I went to law school, socializing wasn’t my main focus. By the time I landed my first job, I was back to calling Thea my one and only.
Even through the distance, we never faltered. So why doesn’t it feel the same with Elliot?
We’re living two different lives, and neither of us seems to mind that much. It’s odd for us to talk on the phone more than once a day, but even during that one call, it never seems like we have much to say.
“Is this what my life is?” I utter towards my feet, letting the gravity of my situation crush me. I’m supposed to be happy.
I’m supposed to be counting down the minutes until I can say ‘I do’.
I shouldn’t be dreading the day I need to leave my little cottage to move back to a condo in the city.
I shouldn’t be begging to work on a case that will keep me from my fiancé longer.
It’s not supposed to be like this.
“Nice feathers,” his voice calls to me.
I know who it is without bothering to look up, but when I do, he’s hardly visible in the darkness. He’s leaning against his bike on the curb.
“I didn’t hear you pull up,” I say, pulling the pink boa from around my neck and dropping it on the bench by the door.
“Not surprised. I’m pretty sure you guys broke the sound barrier with your hysterics in there.” So, he’s been here a while.
He strolls a few steps closer, and the light finally touches his face.
“We’re all a little drunk,” I admit, and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.
His smile radiates through me, wrapping me in a security blanket that I know I should toss aside. Instead, I let the warmth take hold and comfort me in ways I’ve been desperate for.
The fear and anxiety that I’m constantly shoving down, that always finds a way to resurface, mystifies when Hayes walks towards me.
When he looks at me.
Because he has me.
The deep guilt for thinking that way claws back to the surface, strangling me.
“What’s wrong, Liv?” He knows. He always knows.
“Um, I’m just feeling a little…” I motion wildly around my head, not explaining further.
“I’m sorry, I can leave.”
“No,” I say too fast. “I’m not ready to go back inside yet. I don’t want to ruin their fun with my sour mood.”
“Do you want me to take you home?”
The answer should be no.
“Liv? Is everything okay?” Thea asks, staring back and forth between Hayes and me from the doorway.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I–” What am I doing? “I’m not feeling very well. Hayes is going to take me home.”
“Liv,” she warns, her eyes filled with concern.
I take my crown off, setting it next to the boa on the bench. “It’s fine.”
She doesn’t look convinced, but she knows better than to argue with me. Once I set my mind on something, it’s hard to dissuade me. “Text me when you get home safe. And, call me first thing in the morning.” She hooks her pinky finger around mine before I step away. “Promise?”
“Promise,” I assure her. Kissing our joined pinkies, a habit we haven’t kicked since college.
“You better have a helmet on that thing, and she needs water, Hayes,” she shouts down her porch to him.
He nods seriously. “I’ll take care of her.”
“I’m sure you will,” she mutters, looking at me slyly as I back away.
“Do you have a jacket?” He asks when I meet him on the sidewalk.
“No.”
He shrugs his off, holding it so I can slide my arms through. “Here.”
I barely have time to register how warm it is from his body, or how his smell is infused in the fabric when he’s handing me a small bucket helmet.
“Is this what all your bitches wear?” The words come out before I have a chance to filter them, but he laughs easily.
“No bitches have been on this bike. This helmet has never been worn.” He pulls it taut on my head and buckles it under my chin.
“What about your helmet?”
“I don’t usually wear one.”
“That’s stupid. You could die.”
He smiles at my crassness. “Death doesn’t scare me.”
“Well, it scares me.”
“Do you want me to start wearing a helmet, Liv?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” he agrees. Just like that.
“Tomorrow,” I push, because I expected more of a fight.
“I’ll get one tomorrow.” He straddles his bike, kicking the kickstand back with his heel. “Have you ever ridden on a bike?”
“No.”
He doesn’t say it, but I see the relief on his face from my response. “Plant your foot here,” he points to a metal bar behind his knee. “Grab my shoulders and throw your other leg over.
I do as I’m told, too conscious of how his shoulders feel through the thin fabric of his t-shirt.
“The pipes get hot. Don’t rest your legs against them.” He starts his engine, revving it twice. “Wrap your arms around my waist.”
I hesitate, and he twists his head slightly. “Not a request, dove.”
That stupid nickname makes my heart misfire, and it only worsens when my forearms circle his torso, flattening my front to his back.
He twists his head again, and it’s closer now that my face is pressed against his shoulder blade. “Scared?” He asks huskily, barely audible over the sound of the engine.
I swallow thickly. “No.”
A smile spreads across his face, and it scares me a lot more than anything this bike could do. A smile like that from Jensen Hayes is deadly.