Chapter Twenty-Four
Liv
“Honestly, I’m fine. Or, I was fine until I sat next to Kate on the way home,” I laugh-cry into a tissue, curled up on the couch in my living room.
“You’ll be fine, Liv. You have plenty of time to start a family,” Callie says. All the girls have stayed by my side since this afternoon, and now it’s late into the night as I drink away my sorrows.
“I know. I know. But now I have to start all over…”
“Jesse and I got pregnant before we were technically married. You don’t always have to follow the perfect timeline.” Thea looks at me pointedly because she knows about my stubborn life plan.
“That’s different, you and Jesse are…”
“Soulmates?” She says teasingly, and it brings a wave of sadness over me. I guess I do still believe in soulmates.
“Everyone is going to think badly about me now. A failed engagement,” I sigh, shaking my head.
“No, they won’t,” Natalie says, coming to kneel in front of me.
“You are an awesome person. You’re an admirable woman, and whether you’re married or unmarried is the least interesting thing about you.
No one will judge you. They’ll see the strength that it took to make the right choice for yourself.
Especially when most people could never be that brave. ”
“Are you sure you’re a chef and not a therapist?” I wipe fresh tears from the corner of my eyes before they fall.
“That’s just what a life of trauma does for a person. It really shapes you,” she laughs, and it steamrolls a giggle fit among all of us.
We’re still catching our breath when someone knocks on my door, and everyone’s eyes go wide.
“Are you expecting someone?” Thea asks.
“No.” I see the worry on her face, and I realize how screwed I am in the head because she’s thinking of my stalker, but I’m hoping it’s someone else.
“I’ll check.” Callie grabs something from her purse and tiptoes to the door.
“Does she have a gun?” Natalie whispers.
“My brother has turned her into GI Jane,” Thea whispers in exasperation, but her eyes are still wide with worry as she texts on her phone. Most likely to Jesse.
I never had that type of relationship with Elliot. He wasn’t the person I’d call in distress. He wasn’t my person.
“Oh, it’s Jo.” Callie flings the door open, tucking her gun behind her back nonchalantly as she smiles. “Hi!”
“I came as soon as I heard.”
I felt bad not being able to invite her to the wedding since she’s technically a client and that’d be frowned upon. Now I’m just glad I didn’t waste another person’s time.
“Are you okay?” She sits on the coffee table in front of me, offering a tender smile.
“I’m fine. I feel silly canceling the wedding at the last minute, but I know it was the right choice.”
“Don’t feel silly. Imagine how difficult it would have been if you’d gone through with it and were actually stuck with the guy.”
Her seriousness makes me laugh, and I’m overwhelmingly glad to be surrounded by such good friends. Even with them here, though, my mind keeps wandering to someone else I wish were here.
“I know I hurt him, but he was so horrible earlier. I’ll have to go get an STD test now that I know he was cheating.”
“I’m sorry, Liv. You didn’t deserve to find out that way.”
“But at least it wasn’t after you signed the marriage certificate.” Natalie clinks her glass with my tequila-soda.
“I should have punched the bastard in the face,” Thea says with conviction, downing her drink.
“You’ve never hit anyone in your life,” I giggle, and she shrugs.
“Listen, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Jo starts. “But, I need to know what you want to tell Hayes…”
Hearing his name out loud is like a record scratch. “What?”
“As of right now, Hayes thinks that you’re married.”
“So?” Thea speaks for me after our eyes lock, and she sees my distress.
“I mean, you know, he was upset?” Jo asks in confusion.
“It was awkward the last time I talked to him… But he didn’t tell me not to go through with it. He only asked me if I was happy.”
“What did you say?” Callie asks, and everyone leans in, locked onto this conversation.
“I think I said yes, I don’t remember. I was feeling pretty defensive at the time.”
“I’ve been trying to stay out of it because it isn’t my business, but he’s a mess, Liv. He has been since that first day he saw you at the sanctuary,” Jo admits. “He and Lochlan got into a… Physical altercation this morning,” she adds delicately.
“About what?” I panic, imagining Hayes hurting someone he holds in such high regard, but Lochlan is a large man… I don’t want to know how ugly things could get between them.
She hesitates but relents when she sees my worry. “You need to know that Lochlan loves Hayes, and he sees him as a brother. He’d never do anything to hurt him on purpose.”
“What happened, Jo?”
“He was trying to get to you.”
My lips part. After all this time and not saying a damn word about it… “He wanted to stop the wedding?”
She nods. “Lochlan knows how important you are to him, but he also knows how serious Hayes was about not interfering in your life. Hayes had already said he’d never put you in the position to choose, and he didn’t want to upset you on your special day.”
“So, he was going to let me get married?”
“Well…” She wipes her hands nervously on her legs. “I think the plan was to let you get married, but this morning it’s like a switch flipped, and he went off the deep end. He was acting crazy.”
I stare at her, dumbfounded. We all are. But I know exactly what type of crazy she’s referring to. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
“He tried to leave, and Lochlan took his keys. He ordered everyone on the property to hide the keys to the work trucks… Hayes destroyed the garage. He destroyed the bunkhouse.
“I mean, they’re hot-headed men, and sometimes they take their aggression out on each other, but this is nothing like I’ve ever seen. Normally, if Lochlan and Hayes get into it, it ends with a couple of bloody towels and beer… This wasn’t that.”
“Tell me, Jo.” I’m sitting on the edge of the couch, staring at her as she hesitates to finish the story.
“Lochlan locked Hayes in a bear cage.”
“What?!” A chorus of surprise rings out among all of us.
“He was losing it. He was fighting everyone and hurting himself in the process. I’m pretty sure Lochlan has a black eye and a broken finger… But he knew Hayes would regret putting you through more grief.”
“He’s in the cages with the bears, right now?”
“No. No!” She clarifies. “He’s in a cage on the trailer that they use to transport the bears. Totally safe, though slightly unorthodox.”
“I need to go tell him,” I jump up, and everyone around me stands at the same time.
“No, you need to stay here and rest. You’ve been through enough today, Liv. Seeing Hayes is not a good idea,” Thea warns. “I know you care about him, but your emotions are raw, and you’ve been drinking.”
I slump back in my seat. “I know, but he’s so upset and I never…” I look at my best friend. “I don’t want him to feel like I did when I lost him.”
She looks at me in understanding because she knows how terrible those first few months were after Hayes went to prison. She met the version of me that was in pieces when he told me goodbye.
“Tell me what you’d like me to say, I’ll deliver the message,” Jo offers.
“I need a pen and paper.”
* * *
11.5 years ago…
—
Dear Jensen,
I miss you. I keep hoping to hear from you, but I know you’re probably getting settled in. My college acceptance offers are rolling in, but I think I want to stay here and visit as much as I can. These six years will fly by, I promise.
I read online that you get to make phone calls, so please, call me. I feel like you’re mad at me.
Love,
Liv
—
Dear Jensen,
Please, reach out to me. I miss you. I’m worried sick. If you’re mad at me about Mr. Arkett then I apologize and will apologize over and over. I knew it was wrong, and I never meant for you to find out that way.
I knew you’d be protective of me. You always have been. I’m sorry for everything.
Your best friend,
Liv
—
Dear Jensen,
I’m falling apart without you. I need you. I’m not going to college. I can’t live my life knowing that you’re stuck in there because of me. I’ll wait for you.
I need you. Please, talk to me.
Yours, always,
Olive
—
Olive,
I don’t want to talk to you.
I don’t want to see you.
Don’t try contacting me again.
By the time you read this, I’ll be dead.
—