Chapter 31 #2
“Help I didn’t ask for! What was and is going on with my mother has nothing to do with you. Nothing to fucking do with you! It’s crazy because here you go again, imposing on my life. First you did it with that asset allocation and now this.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. All I wanted to do was help you, Karina.”
I see the sincerity in his eyes, but I can’t cave. I don’t want to. He thinks a fucking sorry is going to fix what he did. Bull fucking shit.
“You think because you’re older, more experienced, you know what’s best. I didn’t marry a man almost twice my age to be controlled.”
“Whoa. Age has nothing to do with this,” he counters sharply.
“Doesn’t it though?” I challenge, stepping closer. “You think I can’t handle my own life; that much is obvious.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it.”
“Then maybe you should have thought about what you were really saying before you decided to be a puppeteer of my life.” I push past him, needing space. “You may have signed a contract with her, but you broke an unwritten one with me.”
“Karina—” he starts, but I hold up a hand to stop him.
“I gave you a chance, last year, to come clean. Told you I wasn’t going to be so forgiving the next time.”
He nods, but he seems to have run out of steam because he doesn’t interrupt.
“And what did you say? There’s nothing else for you to sign.” I drop my voice to mimic his. “I’m not trying to trick you or hide anything, you said. So, was this before or after you played sugar daddy with my mother?”
“That’s not fair.”
“You want to talk about fair?” My laugh is filled with sarcasm.
“Fair would’ve been letting me handle my own shit.
Fair would have been talking to me before you did whatever the fuck you did.
You know what? Part of loving someone is trusting them to fight their own battles.
Supporting them through it, not taking their power away.
When we professed our love to one another before saying I do, you should have told me this.
Now, it feels like your love for me is a lie. ” I ball up my fists and walk away.
“Where are you going?”
“To clear my head,” I throw over my shoulder. “To remember who I am without you or a half-million-dollar contract defining me—us.”
“You’re not going out in this fucking weather. You want to clear your head, use the fucking bedroom.” He gestures with a hand, his jaw clenched. “If you want the cabin to yourself, then I will leave.”
I pause at the door, my hand on the knob, feeling the chill seeping in—Vulcan’s right.
I could barely walk back earlier without falling and needing his help.
I pivot and storm down the hallway instead, forcefully pushing open the door and then slamming it shut behind me.
I collapse onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow.
A sob escapes me as I think about all that’s happened in the span on one conversation.
I never wanted my mother to latch on to him as she does me.
Vulcan giving her that much money only opened a door I don’t think either of us can close now.
Tears soak the pillow as I try to sort through the tangle of emotions wrestling inside of me.
Anger, hurt, and betrayal, each vying for the top spot.
I hear the door creak open, sense him hesitating at the threshold. I sit up, wiping my face with the back of my hand.
“Come in.”
He crosses the room in two long strides and sits beside me, the mattress dipping to accommodate his weight.
“I’m sorry,” he begins, and his voice cracks slightly. “I thought I was helping. Protecting you in the only way I knew how.”
“You think putting money between us is protection? How could you not trust me enough to handle my mother?”
“It’s not about trust,” he says firmly. “It’s about seeing her hurt you over and over again. It makes me…” He pauses, searching for the right words. “It makes me desperate.”
“But desperation shouldn’t lead to decisions that drive us apart,” I whisper.
He bobs his head, taking my hands in his. “I know that now. I just… I can’t stand the thought of you being used by anyone.”
“And you think money will stop my mother? Because it won’t. I’m more concerned that you made it worse.”
“It was a mistake,” he admits. “Just… just don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do if you decided to call it quits. My love for you has never been a lie and will never be a lie. I love you so much, Karina.”
“I’m not leaving you, Vulcan.” I sigh, shaking my head. “I love you, but I can’t ignore how this makes me feel. You might think I’m overreacting, but you lied to me. I get it; we were still getting to know each other, but you’ve crossed the line. You had a whole year to talk to me.”
“I was scared of losing you.”
“You would lose me by lying. I would rather you be honest and talk to me than lie. I’ve come such a long way from the woman I was before, and you had a huge part in that. I love how you love me, care for me, and protect me. But just stop trying to fix things for me when it comes to my mother.”
“It’s hard for me,” he confesses. “It’s what I do. I put out fires, real and metaphorical. I know I fucked up. But I did it because—”
“Because you’re a control freak with a hero complex?”
“I prefer overprotective husband with good intentions, but sure, we can go with your version.”
I hate that he makes me want to smile when I’m this angry. I hate even more that part of me understands why he did it, even if I want to strangle him for it. But I’m not ready to let him off the hook. Not by a long shot.
“Good intentions? The road to hell is paved with those, and you just bought a fucking highway.” I huff. “I just want to be alone right now. Can you give me some space?”
He clenches his jaw but reluctantly nods, releasing my hands and rising from the bed. He looks at me with those eyes so full of concern. “Of course. Take all the time you need, Karina.” He gives me one last lingering gaze that tugs at my heartstrings before gently closing the door behind him.
I know he means well. His protective instincts make him who he is, just as my desire for independence and the ability to make my own choices are ingrained in me.
I curl up tighter under the duvet, my mind racing.
I battle with the urge to call Vulcan back, to feel his strong arms comfort me.
But I know I need this time alone to process everything.
I replay our conversation in my head, dissecting every word and expression. The hurt in his eyes when he thought I would leave him. The tension in his shoulders when I asked him for space. I know this isn’t easy for him either.
However, I have to stand my ground.