Chapter 15
15
MINNIE
Four Months Ago – February
‘I know he’s Mr Billy Big Balls and all that…’ Hilde’s English was a strange mixture of East London vocab spoken in a Swiss German accent, which often enabled her to be more forthright, for blows to be delivered without people realising. ‘But I think he might be a little bit… how do you say it… toxic?’
‘What?’ Minnie’s face was aghast. She stopped threading a long earring through one ear as she stared at her reflection in the hallway mirror of their maisonette flat. She turned around to look at Hilde.
‘He just sent me a really fucking expensive dress, wrapped in a really fucking expensive box.’
‘Yeah but that’s what pimps do, bae.’
Hilde rummaged through a cascade of jute and cloth bags shut in an understairs cupboard, looking for the one she’d left her wallet in.
‘What?’ Minnie had been getting ready for the car that JP was sending, to pick her up at 5p.m. and take her to the brIT Awards, where he’d bought a table for him, Minnie and a group of associates he was trying to impress.
‘He sometimes talks to you like you’re a kid, right? I mean, he sent you that dress and told you to wear it. He touches you on the nose like I touched Doris.’
Minnie struggled to get the earring through, a scowl creasing her face.
‘Who’s Doris?’
‘Our Bernese.’
Minnie fixed her earring and looked back at her reflection. She wiggled to straighten the fabric. The dress JP had sent was a black, tight, short Saint Laurent number with shoulder pads and a plunging neck that showed a vast V of alabaster skin from her collarbone to her navel. She felt pretty special in it. Her mother rarely wore expensive dresses unless she had to. Geraldine Byrne was known for her Bohemian aesthetic. Her flea market kimonos and her deep red hair, wild and curly, now grey at the temples. Although the family lived in comfort, material objects hadn’t ever been desirable to Minnie’s mother. She’d wear designer clothes to the Olivier Awards or the Oscars, but was happiest free of stage and film make-up, barefoot on a beach in Dog’s Bay.
‘You really think that?’
Hilde’s face flashed with relief to find her wallet, as she picked up her parka. She nodded.
‘Remember that scene in all the romcoms? When the rich guy sends the ditzy woman an expensive dress and we’re meant to feel excited for her about this?’
‘Yes!’ Minnie said excitedly.
‘Eww!’ Hilde looked horrified.
‘What?’ Minnie was shocked that Hilde didn’t agree with her.
‘Remember your Bechdel test, babe.’
Minnie nodded and tapped her temple with her finger, as if to say noted .
‘I mean, fuck that shit. No one tells you what to wear!’ Hilde sounded both outraged and amused.
Minnie looked back at herself and ran her fingers through her short black fringe.
‘I know, I know. But if I didn’t think I looked awesome in it, I wouldn’t wear it.’
Hilde had to give Minnie that. She nodded appreciatively as she put her parka over her chef whites. Anyway, Minnie didn’t have time to be outraged or offended, the driver was going be here in ten minutes.
She hadn’t had time for much lately. She’d turned down waitressing work to focus on hanging out with JP and a big audition she had last week for a Marvel movie. Minnie had been working out to try to build some muscle, using the gym in the basement of JP’s Holland Park home. Getting up after he’d gone to the office, working out, then trying not to snoop around his epic four-storey bachelor pad before going home, changing, then meeting him again for dinner in one of his restaurants.
Minnie felt a buzz of nervous anticipation about tonight. Not only because she was going to the brIT Awards, but because she was hoping to run into her sister, Rosie, there. Rosie was married to a folk-rock musician called Teddy, who the family all adored, and whose band had been nominated for Best British Group. Minnie wanted to celebrate with Rosie, Teddy and the band but she also thought it would be the perfect place for her to introduce Rosie to JP, when JP, the wide-boy raconteur, would be in his element schmoozing. JP wasn’t like the guys Rosie and Teddy hung out with – he was double her age and not exactly rock-star handsome – but Minnie hoped JP’s charm and sparkle would win through and permeate her sister, as it had her. Rosie’s approval meant a lot to Minnie. It always had. She was ten years older than Minnie and they were close, despite being Byrne bookends. Rosie was pregnant with her first baby, and if she didn’t click with JP then at least she and Rosie had the pregnancy to talk about, although Minnie didn’t think JP would be very interested in that. She wondered how a man like JP had got to his fifties without having any children, but she liked the George Clooney edge of it… even though JP looked absolutely nothing like George Clooney.
Tonight seemed like the perfect way to segue JP into the family, through Rosie.
She roughed up the back of her short black bob so it looked artfully tousled and tried to look at herself objectively. It really hadn’t crossed her mind that JP was treating her like a hooker. She felt like a princess the way he put her on a pedestal.
‘There’s nothing toxic about having fun,’ Minnie said, standing firm. ‘And JP’s so supportive. He’s let me work out in his gym.’
‘Someone’s gotta use it I guess…’ Hilde joked to herself, but Minnie gladly ignored it. She was proud of her man and all he had achieved.
‘He’s been helping cheer me up while I wait on Marvel. And anyway, he’s a money man, he throws bling at a problem, I’m down with that.’
‘You’re not a problem though. There is nothing to fix.’
Minnie levelled Hilde with a sarcastic look as if to say that’s not what I meant.
‘You’re a fucking queen as you are. And you’ll always be a superhero, whether Marvel want you or not.’
Minnie smiled gratefully. ‘Thank you.’
‘Anyway, I got to get to the restaurant. I’m meeting a geezer about some Swiss Black Angus, like, twenty minutes ago.’
Minnie laughed.
‘Have a great night.’
‘I will.’ Minnie smiled, as Hilde opened the flat door. ‘Harry Styles is meant to be going!’ she called, as the front door slammed. Minnie knew Hilde wouldn’t give two hoots about whether Harry Styles was there or not. All Hilde cared about was tonight’s service. And her friends. She was a fiercely loyal friend.
Minnie leaned in to her reflection and pressed the tip of her nose in the mirror, like JP did. Perhaps it did feel a bit condescending.