Chapter 34
JJ
I’m nervous about seeing Miles and I don’t know why. I never was before, and I’m not sure what’s changed to make me nervous now.
I pull up to the diner thirty minutes early, not wanting to be the one to walk in and get the stare-down or the awkward greeting. Except when I open the door, I see him sitting in the same spot we were in last time. I laugh to myself as I make my way to the table and sit.
Miles looks up from his phone, confused, but then a soft smile crosses his lips. His eyes brighten, and his shoulders relax. I have that effect on him.
“Guess we both had the same idea,” I say lightly.
He smiles wider. “Guess so. How are you?” he asks.
“Good. You?”
“You look good,” he says, his eyes not leaving mine.
“So do you,” I say, and we stare at each other with goofy smiles on our faces for way too long.
“Can I get you anything to drink, hon?” the waitress asks me. Miles already has a water in front of him.
“Water is fine, thank you.” She nods and walks off. “Do you know what you’re getting?” I ask Miles.
“Banana pancakes.”
“It’s lunch.”
“They serve breakfast all day.”
“Oh, hey, JJ. Haven’t seen you here in a while.” It’s Martha, the waitress who’s been working here since the day it opened forty years ago. She’s wiping down the table beside us.
“Been busy with work,” I say.
“And it’s a good thing,” she says with a nod as she walks off.
“I forgot you come here often,” Miles says.
“It’s close to the firehouse and better than pizza. I swear all those guys want to eat is pizza.”
“I mean… I get it. I love pizza.”
I roll my eyes.
The waitress comes back with my water, and we put in our order for food. I get my usual, while Miles gets banana pancakes with extra whipped cream.
“So,” Miles says. “What have you been up to?”
“Well, I took your advice, not because you told me to, but because I needed to. I did a lot of thinking about my life and what I want it to look like. What will make me happy. I took a leave at work and went up to the northern peninsula in Michigan for three months.”
His eyes widen slightly, and he leans back in his chair.
“So, you really were gone this whole time?”
“You’ve gone by the firehouse a few times, haven’t you?”
“Yeah, but, you know… loyalty. I figured they’d cover for you and—wait. How do you know I went to the firehouse?” He smiles curiously. “AJ said he wasn’t getting in the middle of it.”
“AJ didn’t tell me. My brother did.”
“How did he know?”
“He checked in with AJ.” I grin.
Miles laughs. “Tell me about your trip. I’ve never left the area. Was it beautiful?”
“So beautiful. I wish I explored more. I didn’t do anything exciting.
Honestly, I did a lot of nothing. Sitting in the cabin with my own thoughts, but I had to face them.
It was hard at first, but then it was relieving.
To have no responsibilities, no one expecting anything from me.
I found a therapist and saw him three times a week.
Went fishing. Hiking. Spent a lot of time in my own head—in a good way for once. ”
“I’m glad, JJ—uh, Jericho.” He blushes slightly when he corrects himself, and I bite back a smile. “You really do look good.”
“I feel better,” I admit. “My life has been messy for so long that it’s all I knew, and when I finally met you… I don’t know. I got a taste of something else, and it felt good. But I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“And you think you do now?” he asks carefully.
I see the hesitation on his face, like even if I tell him the truth, he may not believe me.
“I know what I want. I always have. My reason for staying with Franklin had nothing to do with that and everything to do with other stuff.”
“Your parents.”
I nod. “I’ve been bottling everything up, allowing it to cause all these confidence issues that I didn’t realize I had.
Other issues too, some things I’m still working on and probably will be for a long time.
Maybe forever. But talking to someone about it, someone who listened and offered solid advice, it’s made a difference.
I feel like I have some clarity, and though I still have a long road ahead of me, I want to be in your life.
Whatever that looks like, I don’t care. Even if we’re just friends, I’ll take it.
I know I need to make up for what I did and—”
“No, you don’t,” he says firmly, shaking his head.
“You apologized, and that’s enough. I don’t need you feeling like you’re in debt to me for the rest of your life.
I accept your apology, and I understand why you did it.
But if we do this again, we need boundaries.
I’m not great with them, but they have to be there.
I need to know I can trust you. I don’t want to question everything you do or say. ”
“I don’t want that either,” I agree.
“What about—”
“Franklin?” He nods, unable to meet my eyes. “We will officially be divorced in less than sixty days.”
His gaze flicks back to mine.
“How did you pull that off?” he asks quickly.
“I sent him papers. He handled the rest. Did everything he could to make sure it wasn’t made into a big thing.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“No,” I admit, reaching for my water and taking a sip. “But I need to. I’m going to be honest about that. I have to clear the air with him. I have to say my piece, but we have no reason to continue talking after that. I just want to get my thoughts off my chest and let it go. For good”
“I agree with you on that. Confronting him may help you move on. I’ve never been a jealous person, JJ, and I’m not someone who is going to be in a controlling relationship. I like being able to have fun, and trusting my partner is important to me.”
“I want you to trust me, Miles.”
“I do, to some extent. But some other things will take time.”
I hold his gaze. “I really want to kiss you right now,” I say.
He blushes, biting his bottom lip.
Then the food comes, ruining the moment, which is probably a good thing. It was getting a little too heated in the middle of a diner where families are eating meals. They don’t need to see two guys savagely making out on top of a table.
We eat and he tells me what he’s been up to while I was gone.
Noah has asked about me a few times, but has loved going by the firehouse, despite who’s showing him around.
Miles tells me more about Sam and Audrey, and how they flirt non-stop, and though he wishes she would date, he thinks she just likes the attention from him since he’s young and hot.
I don’t understand that personally, but if she isn’t feeling good about herself, it makes sense she’d like the attention.
“Oh, and I got a fish,” he says.
“No, you didn’t,” I laugh.
“I did. His name is Sparks, and he’s really cute. Noah loves him.”
“Loves a fish?”
“I know, weird, right? But I swear Sparks knows when Noah is there… though that’s probably because he always feeds him too much.”
When the bill is put down on the table after our plates are cleared, we both reach for it but I win. Miles pouts, but I pay the bill, and we get up to leave.
“Where are you heading?” I ask as I walk him to his car. He turns to face me, leaning against the door. My stomach does a flip as I look down at him, my hand twitching to touch him.
“I was kind of hoping you’d invite me over,” he says shyly, looking up at me from under his lashes.
“Is that so?” I say, leaning closer. My dick thickens in my jeans.
Miles nods, his teeth digging into his bottom lip.
“Okay,” I say. “Let’s go then.”
I pull away, seeing the disappointment on his face. I do want to kiss him, but waiting just a little longer will make it all the better. Besides… he’s really cute when he looks like he’s about to beg me for something.
The second my house door is closed, Miles is on me. He’s grasping at my shirt, kicking his shoes off, and shoving me to the couch. I fall onto it and he climbs on top of me, not wasting a moment.
“I missed you so much,” he says, sliding his arms around my neck and kissing me. “This isn’t a great start to having boundaries, but I can’t help myself.”
“Neither can I,” I say as I lean in to kiss him deeply. I want to show him how badly I’ve missed him, how much I’ve thought of him.
We can’t get each other’s clothes off fast enough, and we somehow manage to keep him on top of me because he won’t budge. He reaches between us, not breaking our kiss, and squeezes our dicks together, stroking them slowly.
I let out a sigh, relieved at his touch.
“Let me ride you,” he says before nipping at my lip.
I gasp, the pinch of pain a surprise, but I don’t hate it.
“We need lube.”
“Where is it?” he asks.
“Bedroom. In the nightstand drawer.”
He presses his lips to mine firmly then gets up and walks to my bedroom.
I stare at his ass as he goes, loving the way it jiggles just a little with each step.
On his way back, my gaze goes right to his cock—hard and jutting out, begging for attention.
He stops in front of me, which puts his cock right in front of my face.
I lean in, wanting it in my mouth, but his hand on my shoulder stops me. I look up at him, raising a brow.
“If you do that, I’ll come immediately.”
He applies more pressure to my shoulder and I lean back. Miles pours lube all over my cock, then settles over me and quickly works me inside him. Then he sits there for a moment, slowly rocking forward, adjusting, enjoying us being connected this way.
“I missed this,” I say, running my hands up his sides.
His cock is leaking precum. I’m aching to reach for him, feel him throb in my hand and watch him come all over himself. But he’s taking the lead and seems to be enjoying it.
“Me too,” he moans, moving forward, so my cock slides out and goes right back in.
“I need you to know that you’re more than this… than hookups,” I say softly, running my hands up his sides.
His grip tightens on my shoulders, and he lifts up and slowly goes back down. A moan drags out of me as he does it again, my eyes falling closed. Warmth spreads through my body, not only because of the pleasure, but because of him—of how he makes me feel.
“I’ve thought about us having more,” I say.
“Like what?” he strains to ask as he keeps moving, each thrust up just a little faster than the last.
I can’t tell if he’s trying to tease me or if he’s holding back so he doesn’t come.
I slide my hand up his chest, then back down over his stomach and around his hip to grab his ass, giving it a soft squeeze.
“Living together,” I breathe out.
“More…”
“K-kids…” I grit my teeth because he’s driving me fucking crazy. I want to come—I need to come. “Fuck, Miles,” I growl.
“I’ll get you there,” he says. “Just be patient, Jericho.”
“Fuck, that sounds so much better coming out of your mouth.”
My cock is aching. Each time I slide inside him, my body grows hotter.
I’m trembling, sweating. He’s enjoying the fuck out of this, smiling down at me with this heated look in his eyes.
He knows exactly what he’s doing, but I don’t hate it, even though I feel like I may die if he doesn’t move faster.
“Miles,” I plead. “Just let me come—”
My words cut off when I realize we aren’t using a condom…
that I’m inside him bare, and when I come, he’s going to feel it.
He did this purposely, and I’m not mad about it.
I trust him, and I haven’t been with anyone since.
The biggest thing is that this all felt so natural that it wasn’t even a thought in my mind, not until now…
and picturing my cum spilling out of his tight little hole only has me wanting to come more.
I grip his hips and slam up into him. He cries out, nails digging into my skin.
“Make me come, or I’ll do it myself,” I warn, my voice almost a growl.
His lips part, all the air leaving his lungs. Then he smiles and moves faster. I rest my head back, watching the way his hips move, the way his muscles tense and tick. His cock bounces, slapping against his stomach, and I reach for it, just wanting to hold it—wanting to feel it when he explodes.
“Jericho,” he breathes out.
“Keep going. I’m so fucking close.”
My gaze stays on his cock, wanting to see it erupt.
“Fuck,” he grits out. “You feel so good. I’m going to come—”
He moans loudly, his body jerking as cum spills out of his cock, landing all over my abs and chest.
Pleasure rolls through me as the orgasm hits, and I spasm inside him. I feel my cum spilling out and dripping down my shaft to my balls.
Miles leans forward, resting his forehead on my shoulder. I hold him tightly, hugging him to me, and not wanting to let go. Ever. This is perfect. It feels too right to not pursue. I kiss his shoulder, his neck, his jaw. And then I whisper words I haven’t said since I was a kid.
“I love you.”