Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
“And I really want a bunny. Well, I wouldn't mind a kitten, or a puppy, but my mom said a dog is a lot of work. I told her I'm nine now, and soon I’ll be ten, so I can help out a lot. I can do everything. Even walk it if we got a small dog so it’s not too big and strong,” Ariella rambled as they sat on a rock in the middle of a tiny clearing, not more than about five feet across, but perfectly round.
There was something magical about the place, and from the moment Lion had discovered it, he’d been reminded of his girl.
Now he had two girls.
Kate, sitting back at the mansion, hating him, and Ariella perched by his side, looking at him with adoration he certainly didn't deserve.
“Sometimes Mom still acts like I'm a baby,” Ariella complained, although there was no real heat behind it. It was more than clear that she adored her mother.
“I think moms always worry about their kids,” he told her, not wanting to mention the fact that Kate probably worried a whole lot more about her child than most moms, given that her daughter was quite literally dying.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Ariella agreed, and they lapsed into a pleasant silence.
Spring was definitely arriving, even if it wouldn't officially start for another week.
The air was warmer, the sun was shining a little higher in the sky, which was starting to turn a deeper blue than the pale winter shade.
Soon new leaves would be unfurling, and flowers and blossoms would be blooming.
Would Ariella still be here to witness it?
Not just physically at the mansion, but still alive.
How the hell did Kate live knowing that at any moment she could lose her child?
He’d only known about Ariella’s existence for not even twenty-four hours, and he wasn't sure he’d be able to stand losing her.
Kate had been raising her alone for nine years, been there for every milestone, every special occasion, spoiled her on birthdays and Christmas mornings.
It would be so much worse for her to lose this amazing little girl.
“I know the real reason Mom doesn’t want me to get a puppy, or a kitten, or a bunny,” Ariella said, her voice soft, making her sound so much older than her nine years. “It’s because I'm so sick. Because maybe I might even die.”
Lion swallowed thickly, feeling so very out of his element.
He’d never spent much time around kids, and he’d believed the child he’d fathered with Kate had been aborted.
He was used to dealing with hardened former special forces operators, his team, and the other teams at Prey.
He didn't know what he was supposed to say to Ariella.
“Your mom talks to you about that?” he asked, so afraid of overstepping and Kate taking their daughter and leaving. He’d never blame her for it, but if his daughter only had a short time left to live, he wanted to spend it by her side, wanted her to know how very loved she was.
Because despite what he’d told Kate all those years ago, he’d never really wanted her to terminate her pregnancy. That was his fear talking and nothing else.
“My mom says I'm smart and strong. She doesn’t like to talk about it. I know it makes her really sad, thinking that one day I'm not going to be here, but she says it’s my body and I have a right to be informed about it.” Reaching over, Ariella slipped her hand into his, her earnest blue eyes—so very much like her mother’s—staring up at him imploringly.
“I'm scared about what's going to happen to my mom when I die. That’s why I wanted to get a pet so bad. So she wouldn't be all alone, so she’d have someone to cuddle when she’s sad. Sometimes I hear her crying when she thinks I'm asleep. She doesn’t want me to know how sad she is, how scared, but I know anyway.”
“Because you're a very intelligent girl who cares about others,” he said, his heart cracking into a million pieces at his daughter’s concern for her mother.
“Will you look after her, Daddy? If I die, will you make sure my mommy never gets lonely?”
How was he supposed to answer that question?
There was nothing Lion would love more than to reconnect with Kate, to earn her forgiveness and re-earn her trust. He’d never stopped loving her, and he’d always wished he’d handled things differently.
But Kate hated him, something he absolutely deserved, and he was pretty sure he was the last person she’d want to grieve with if the worst happened.
But he couldn’t deny his daughter anything.
Especially this.
Hauling the child over and into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her, marveling at how perfect it felt holding her small body against his.
There was no way he could have wished for a more amazing child.
“I promise you, Ari-Bear, that I will always be there for your mommy. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from her. ”
“Horses?” Ariella’s eyes lit up, the heaviness of the moment passing.
“I always wanted to go riding. Always. Even when I was just a baby, but Mom said I was too young then, and then I got sick, so I've never been. If I'm going to die, I hope it’s not before I get to ride a horse. I bet it feels amazing when it gallops along with you on its back, and the wind is in your hair and the sun on your face.”
The dreamy look on the girl’s face had Lion hoping the others were okay with pretty much turning this place into a zoo, because if his little girl wanted horses, puppies, kittens, and bunnies, she was getting them all.
Now he just had to convince Kate of that.
“We should head back,” he said, standing and swinging his daughter around so she was perched on his back.
“It’s time for lunch, and your mom is probably going to be panicking if I don’t get you back soon.
” Actually, he was a little surprised she hadn't come looking for them. He was sure she must be beyond antsy by now, but he appreciated that she was trying to respect her daughter’s desire to get to know him, and his to get to know her.
The words that she’d thrown at him in the kitchen earlier had been playing on repeat inside his head. She was right, they were strangers now. So much had happened over the last decade, but he wanted more than anything to erase that distance between them.
“Mommy never panics,” Ariella said with a giggle, and if he hadn't already respected the hell out of Kate for raising such an amazing little girl all on her own, he would have for her ability to hide just how badly she had likely spent the last three years panicking from her child.
“Because your mommy is amazing,” he said as he headed back through the forest toward the house.
“Dad, do you love my mom?”
Guess his kid wasn't one to beat around the bush. “Truth?”
“My mom says you should always tell the truth. She says it’s always wrong to lie. If you're worried about hurting someone’s feelings, then you find a positive and say that instead so you don’t have to lie.”
“Yeah, I remember that about your mom, she never liked to hurt anyone’s feelings, and she never told lies, even if it got her into trouble.”
“Did you know my mom for a long time?”
“My little sister was your mommy’s best friend, so I’ve known your mom since she was in kindergarten.”
“That’s a real long time,” Ariella said, clearly in awe of the revelation.
“It is.” And now this little girl he carried on his back reminded him so much of that pig-tailed child he’d met on his sister’s first day of school.
Back then, she’d just been Katie-Bear, the sweet little girl who was always playing dolls with his sister and tagging along after him everywhere he went, wanting him to play with her.
But once they were both grown up, she’d quickly become so much more.
“You love her, don’t you, Dad? You love my mom.”
Lion saw no point in lying to his daughter about it. Nor would he lie to Kate if she asked. “Yeah, Ari-Bear, I do. I love your mommy a lot. I always have.”
“But you weren't around. Mom said it was because of your job.”
“It was, just not in the way your mom thought. I want to explain it to your mom and tell her I'm sorry that I couldn’t be there for both of you the way I wanted to be. I never want that to happen again. I want to always be here for you and your mom when you need me.”
“Even if I die?”
“Yes.”
“And even if I live?”
“Absolutely.”
Those small arms that were wrapped around his neck, squeezed tightly for a moment, and then Ariella dropped a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Never need to thank me for being there for you, Ari-Bear. Loving your mom and you is as easy as breathing.”
What wasn't as easy as breathing was figuring out how he was going to convince Kate of that fact.
March 15th
3:33 A.M.
“Mommy, I'm bleeding.”
The words tugged Kate from a restless sleep, and she blinked open heavy eyes to find her daughter standing beside her bed.
Their rooms were next to one another, and she was thankful the stunning Gothic mansion seemed to have an endless supply of bedrooms because the two they were using didn't appear to be anywhere close to where the others slept.
It was hard enough being in this house with Leo, but to have to sleep with him close by would have been too much.
Not that she’d been doing much sleeping.
Both last night and tonight, she’d struggled to fall asleep, tossing and turning for hours, only to have vivid dreams filled with images of Leo’s past rejection of her and her fear that he would reject their daughter the same way.
Now she pushed herself up so she was sitting, and took in her little girl standing there, her hand wrapped around her forearm.
“What happened, sweetie-pie?” Kate asked as she shoved back her covers and reached for her daughter.
“I needed to go to the bathroom, but it was dark, and I was sleepy, and I didn't want to turn on the lights, so I bumped into the side of the bathroom door,” Ariella explained.