Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
“Time for bed,” Kate announced.
“Oh, can't we watch just one more movie?” Ariella asked with a little pout.
“Sweetie-pie, you have already convinced these guys to have a Disney Princess marathon with you. You’ve watched Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and The Little Mermaid. I think they might like a break now.”
“But I wanted to watch Snow White,” Ariella whined.
“We can continue the marathon tomorrow,” Lion assured his daughter.
As much as he wanted to agree to let her stay up and watch as many movies as she wanted, he didn't, because he understood that his little girl needed her sleep.
“How about your mom and I go tuck you in together? Maybe read a little before turning off the light.”
Ariella’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “I love Alice in Wonderland. Mom reads it to me most nights when I'm not too tired and can stay awake a bit longer. She does different voices for everyone, and I love it. It’s even better than a movie.”
“Then go upstairs, get your teeth brushed and your pajamas on, and Mom and I will read Alice in Wonderland to you for a bit.”
“Okay,” Ariella agreed brightly, bouncing off the couch, all thoughts of watching Snow White seemingly gone.
If it weren't for the fact that the girl swayed slightly, and moved slower than her excitement would dictate, you would never know that she was a very sick child. Lion knew that Whitney was working in the lab they’d had custom built at the mansion, doing her best to try to create a drug that would boost her immune system enough to give the bone marrow transplant a chance.
That Voodoo had tried several times now to see if his unnatural ability could save Ariella’s life. But none of it seemed like enough.
He couldn’t just meet his daughter only to have to watch her die.
“You really want to help put her to bed?” Kate asked as they both followed their daughter up the stairs.
“More than anything. I've already missed out on so much, I don’t want to miss another second of her life,” he answered honestly.
“Leo, I—”
“Shh,” he cut off her pained whisper. He didn't want her to feel bad for him, it was his own fault he’d never been there for Ariella or for Kate.
He wasn't after pity, he just wanted her to know that this might all be new for him, but he was jumping all in. “It’s okay, Katie-Bear. This is all on me. But I won't ever abandon you and our daughter again. That’s a promise.”
Doubt lingered in her eyes, but she didn't voice it, and he had to believe that was because she was trying hard to accept what he’d told her, and understand that he hadn't left by choice.
Not a real choice, more like a best out of a whole bunch of awful choices when he was backed into a corner.
Just because he didn't deserve her forgiveness didn't mean he wasn't going to spend the rest of his life trying to earn it.
“I'm ready,” Ariella called out, somewhat impatiently, as he and Kate made their way down the hall. When they stepped into her room, they found her sitting in the bed, a book in her hands.
“Impatient little thing,” Kate teased as she ruffled Ariella’s hair, and he loved the easy way they were around each other. There was no one in the world he would have wanted to mother his child more than Kate Gage.
“We’re up to the trial, with the Queen of Hearts, after Alice gets in trouble,” Ariella explained to him. “It’s my favorite part. I love the voice my mom does for the Queen.”
“I can't wait to hear what she sounds like,” he said, stretching out on one side of his daughter while Kate took the other.
Was that a blush on her pretty cheeks?
What was running through his girl’s head right now?
Lion knew what was in his. There were a whole lot more sounds he couldn’t wait to hear Kate make again, even as he knew he might never get to hear them, but he couldn’t give up hope.
Those breathy moans she’d make as he edged her closer to an orgasm, the way she cried out his name when she tumbled into a chasm of bliss, the way their bodies worked together to bring each other pleasure, the contented sigh she always gave after sex when she snuggled in his arms to fall asleep, happy and sated.
It was wrong to think about all of that now, while Kate had so many insecurities when it came to them as a couple, and their dying daughter lay between them waiting for her to read to them.
Clearing his throat, he gave thanks that Ariella was way too young to even guess at the dirty thoughts running through his head. “Okay, well, let’s get started. How about I do the White Rabbit and the King, and your mom can do everything else?”
“Okay,” Ariella agreed.
Passing the book backward and forward between him and Kate, the next thirty minutes flew by, and by the time they were reading the final pages, Ariella was more asleep than awake.
“The end,” Kate whispered.
“Night, Mommy,” Ariella slurred, her eyes already closed.
“Night, my sweet forever baby.” Kate kissed Ariella’s pale cheek and smoothed her hand over the silky blonde locks spilling out on the pillow.
“Night, Daddy,” Ariella murmured on a yawn.
“Night, my Ari-Bear.” Lion kissed Ariella’s other cheek, using the warmth in it to remind him that he hadn't lost her yet. She was still alive, and there was still hope.
“Sweet dreams, sweetie-pie,” Kate said as she somewhat reluctantly climbed off the bed, arranging the covers around her daughter before tiptoeing to the door.
Once they were in the hall with the door closed behind them, she let out a half sob. Hesitating for only a moment, Lion wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. If she didn't want his comfort, she was going to have to tell him, otherwise he was giving it to her.
“I wish I could be like Alice. Wake up, and this was all a bad dream. Ariella was strong and healthy, and I wasn't thinking about planning a funeral for my nine-year-old. How am I supposed to go on living if I lose her, Leo? How?” There was so much ragged pain in that word that it undid him. All he wanted was to make this better for his girls, but he couldn’t.
Maybe if he’d been around from the beginning, things would be different.
He would have been tested right away to see if he was a match, and Ariella could have gotten the transplant before her illness took such a toll on her body.
They were all worried that even if he was a match, Ariella would be too weak for it to work.
“She’s worried about you,” he whispered into Kate’s hair as he breathed in her sweet lavender scent.
“Who is?”
“Ariella. About what happens after. To you.”
Kate lifted her head. “She is?”
“She asked me to promise her that I would always be there for you, so you wouldn't be alone. I told her I would, but I would have been anyway. By your side is where I always should have been.” Maybe if he had kept Kate in his life, he and his teammates wouldn't have spent so long believing they were monsters.
Monsters couldn’t fall in love, and his heart practically burst from his chest because it was so full of love for this woman and the little girl asleep in the room behind them.
“I didn't know she was worrying about that. I should have done a better job of hiding my pain from her,” Kate said, self-recrimination in her tone.
Smoothing her hair behind her ears, Lion framed her face and angled it so she had to either look at him or close her eyes.
Thankfully, she didn't do the latter. “No, Katie-Bear, it’s good she knows, because it means she knows she’s loved.
If … if the worst happens, then I want my daughter to go knowing with absolute certainty that she is utterly loved and adored. ”
“That’s what I always wanted for her. To know how much I love her.
She’s my whole world, Leo. For the last nine years it’s been just the two of us.
My family adores her and helps out. Your family does, too, but at the end of the day, it’s just me and my baby girl.
I don’t think … I don’t think I can survive losing her. ”
The raw honesty in those words almost took him to his knees.
Losing Kate on top of losing Ariella would destroy him.
Quite literally, he would have nothing left to live for and would likely follow them into whatever came after this world.
“You can, Katie-Bear. You're so strong. So brave. Everything you’ve faced on your own … I'm in awe of you. Damn, baby, you’re stronger than I could ever hope to be. You haven’t run from the things that scare you.
You face them head-on, tackle them even when they keep coming.
You're here, even though facing me was the last thing you wanted to do, but you did it because you loved your daughter more than you hated me. If we lose her, then you’ll keep going because you know that’s what she would want you to do, and you won't let her down.”
Leaning in, he whispered his lips across Kate’s, then rested his forehead on hers.
“I know you have zero reason to believe me, Katie-Bear. You’ve been alone too long, been through too much, but if we lose her, you won't be alone. I’ll be right here, holding you up when your legs don’t seem strong enough to take another step.
Carrying you when they give out. Breathing air into your lungs when they can't inflate on their own. I might make some pretty massive mistakes, but I don’t repeat them.
I'm not walking away from you, Katie-Bear, never again.”
March 16th
12:02 A.M.
Leo’s words played on repeat in her head.
Did he mean them?
There was no doubt he’d sounded sincere, but the problem was, Kate wasn't sure she could trust herself when it came to that man. After all, she’d never had any inkling that he’d intended to sign up to be part of an experimental drug program.
That was something he definitely should have shared with his future wife.