Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Rylee
I would have been having a good time at the bar opening, if not for the fact my boyfriend was an idiot, who apparently didn’t have a mind of his own.
He’d been blowing up my phone, trying to apologize, but I wanted to stew in my anger a little longer before I talked to him.
“Hey, pretty lady. What do you think? Did I do good or what?”
Easton Hart had been an icon in country music long before I broke into the business, and didn’t need a bar bearing his name to prove it.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him, smiling. “You did good, my friend. Real good. Where’s that gorgeous wife of yours? Why isn’t she here tonight?”
His eyes dimmed and he put a little distance between us. “Her mama hasn’t been doing well, so she’s back home with her family.”
His wife, Lyla, had been a model, who came from oil-money.
Even after having their three kids, she was still stunning.
Friends had dubbed her ‘uptown girl’ after Billy Joel’s old song, claiming she was slumming with Easton, who was a good old country boy with humble roots.
But they’d been together ten years and seemed to be making it work.
“The kids are with her?” I asked, trying not to be too nosy as I sipped my margarita.
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I miss ‘em all like crazy, but she’s doin’ what she’s gotta do and I respect that.”
“Hey,” I said, leaning in. “You guys aren’t having trouble, are you?”
I didn’t want to pry, but considered Easton a good friend, and wanted to help, if I could.
A look of pain flashed across his face before he schooled his expression. “All good, honey. All good. But tell me about that new man of yours. He’s Eden’s brother, right?”
“Yeah.” I took another sip of my drink, questioning whether I should open up about the argument we’d had tonight. “His name’s Cam. He’s a sheriff in Oklahoma.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I saw that online. Y’all have been getting a lot of attention.” He chuckled. “Kind of like me and Lyla when we got together. We couldn’t have been more different, obviously, so people were curious.”
“I don’t think Cam appreciates the attention,” I admitted. “But he knows it comes with the territory.”
He took a sip of his beer before asking, “So, is it serious? Or are y’all just havin’ a little fun?”
I couldn’t help but smile when I said, “Oh, we’re having fun.
And it’s serious.” I frowned. “Or at least I thought it was until he called me up tonight. Made it sound like he was having doubts just because his friends thought I was too young to get tied down. Or I’d meet someone more my speed here in Nashville.
Total B.S., but it sounds like he bought it.
And this isn’t the first time he’s been second-guessing us for the same dumb reasons. ”
Easton laughed, raising his beer. “Man, do I feel his pain.”
“You feel his pain?” I demanded. “What about mine? You’re supposed to be my friend, remember? That kind of means you have to back me up.”
He smirked. “You know I would, but I went through the same thing with Lyla when we met. She wasn’t a whole lot younger than me, but she was a freakin’ supermodel.
And she comes from old money. Her whole family hated me.
Didn’t think I was good enough for her.” He shrugged. “Truth be told, they still don’t.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
Easton toured around the world and sold out stadiums. He’d won countless industry awards, had numerous gold and platinum records to his credit, and had made a ton of money.
“Believe it. To them, I’m still the white-trash country bumpkin who defiled their little princess.”
I winced. “That’s harsh.”
“It is what it is.”
“Easton,” I said, curling my hand around his forearm. “Lyla’s crazy about you. Anyone can see that. And you have three beautiful kids together. It doesn’t matter whether or not her family approves of you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, sure.” He glanced up at the stage where another band was preparing to perform. “Doesn’t make it any easier though.” He shook his head. “Anyways, enough about me. Back to you and your man. Give the guy a break, Rylee. It’s not easy, stepping into our world.”
“I get that.” I appreciated Cam for even trying, but I wanted him to have as much faith in us as I did, and he clearly wasn’t there yet.
“But we both know this lifestyle isn’t easy when you’re in a committed relationship.
And if he believes the lies other people tell him about us, how can we make this work? ”
“Oh, honey,” he said, hauling me against his chest. “If he loves you, and you love him, you’ll find a way to make it work.
But just understand, it’ll take him awhile to work through his shit.
All that stuff his buddies are telling him, about you being too young or too good for him, those are things he’s probably already told himself.
So whether they realize it or not, they’re just feeding his insecurities. ”
I took a step back, placing my drink on the bar behind me. “But I don’t want him to feel insecure.”
“Do you feel insecure?” When I didn’t respond right away, he said, “Of course, you do. Everyone does at the start of a new relationship. That’s human nature.”
“But we promised each other we wouldn’t continue letting this crap get in our way.”
“So, he had a setback tonight.” He smiled. “Cut the guy some slack.”
I returned the smile and rolled forward on my toes to kiss his cheek. “Thanks for talking some sense into me.”
“Anytime, pretty lady. Anytime.”
It was two in the morning by the time I got in, and I knew Cam had to be up early for work, but I didn’t want to go to bed with him thinking I was mad at him. So, I texted to ask if he was awake and he responded right away.
“Hey,” I said, as soon as he answered my call.
“Hey.” I could tell he was waiting for me to dive in, possibly bracing himself for the worst, but I knew there was only one way to start this conversation.
“I love you, even when you piss me off.”
He laughed, sounding relieved. “I love you too, baby. Look, I’m sorry about tonight. I shouldn’t have bought into all that shit my buddies were spewing, but—”
“You’re only human, I get it. You’re going to have doubts and insecurities. So am I, and that’s okay. But when we do, we have to talk to each other about it, not other people. Agreed?”
“Yeah, definitely. So, what cooled you off?”
“My friend, Easton. He told me it hadn’t been easy when he and his wife got together either. And they had a lot of the same issues we have. He encouraged me to give you a break, and try to put myself in your situation. And just so you know, babe, I’m right there with you. I’m freaked out too.”
“You are?”
I kind of loved that this big, tough guy, whose job it was to have it all together seemed as uncertain as I was sometimes.
“Of course, I am. This is happening crazy fast. I never expected you, and I sure as hell wasn’t looking for a relationship when we met. I thought I was fine on my own.”
“You were fine on your own. I know you don’t need me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
We could only feel secure in this relationship if we were both willing to reveal all our insecurities and vulnerabilities, and for him, I was willing to do that.
“Doing life alone sucks. You may not know that, since you’ve always had family and tons of friends. A huge support network. But for me? A lot of my life, it’s just been me. And that’s not easy.”
“Baby…”
It sounded like his heart was breaking for me, but I didn’t want his pity, just his understanding.
“It’s okay. I made it, right?” I swiped at a tear gliding down my cheek, grateful this wasn’t a video call. “My point is, I met you, and I felt like I’d finally found the missing pieces.”
“Yeah? Tell me.”
“Safety. Security. Love.”
Those were huge words for me. They represented everything that had been missing from my life and I didn’t realize how much I craved them until I met him.
“Sweetheart, I always want to make you feel safe and loved and secure in what we have. I’m sorry I screwed up tonight, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in what we’re building, Ry. ‘Cause I swear to you, I do.”
I could hear the conviction in his voice, and knew guys like Cam didn’t make commitments lightly.
“I know you do.” I swallowed the fear lodged in my throat and forced myself to admit, “I need you to be my rock because I’m really tired of doing this life thing all alone. And I want you to be my person.”
“I want that too,” he whispered.
“Good.” I closed my eyes, basking in the way he made me feel. Protected. Stable. Like the ground under me was finally shored up. “Now, I should get some sleep. I’m going to visit my mama tomorrow.”
“You sure you want to do that by yourself? Why not wait until this weekend and I’ll come with you.”
I loved that he was willing to sacrifice some of our time together to support me, but this was something I had to do alone.
“I love you for offering, but I really need to clear the air with her. And I should probably do that alone.”
“How is she, health wise?”
“She’s okay. Taking her meds, I guess. That should help.” I didn’t know if my mama had ever valued her life, but maybe this health scare put things in perspective for her.
“You, uh, told me you hadn’t been visiting her before her heart attack because it was a toxic relationship. I hope you don’t feel you have to put yourself through that again, just because of her health—”
“That’s not why I’m going there tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“I can’t move forward with my life as long as there’s this burden weighing me down. My childhood sucked, and my mama sure as hell wasn’t the parent I needed. But I need to forgive her for that.”
“Hmm, you just might be a stronger person than I am, sweetheart. Not sure I could forgive her.”
Cam didn’t know the half of it, but I didn’t see the need to paint him a picture of all the ugliness that was my childhood in gruesome technicolor. The broad, brush strokes were enough to give him a sense of the life I’d had back then.
“I’m not forgiving her because she deserves it. I’m forgiving her because I deserve to be free. I want to be free, so I can move on and have a healthy relationship with you.” I smiled when I considered the significance of this decision. “I guess you could say I’m doing this for us.”
“I love you like crazy, girl. And I’m so damn proud of you, for facing down your demons, and having the courage to fight for the life you want.
I can tell you, having witnessed so many people in my career who’ve been beaten down by brutal childhoods, they stay down.
They don’t have the strength to get back up and keep fighting, like you do. ”
Hearing the pride in his voice stirred something inside of me. I’d had friends who told me they were proud of me, for my career success, but no one had ever told me they were proud of the person I’d become. So, hearing Cam say those words meant everything to me.
“Thank you.” I took a moment to collect myself before I said, “I wouldn’t be doing this if I hadn’t met you, you know. I probably would have continued stewing in my resentment. But meeting your family, and seeing you with them, changed me.”
“How?”
“I want what you have.” That admission made me feel so raw and exposed, but it also made me feel free and alive, because I was speaking my truth. “I want a family that loves hard and unconditionally.”
“I want to give you that.”
His words nearly broke me, in the best possible way. “I’m so glad I had the guts to proposition you that night.”
He laughed. “I am too, gorgeous. Good luck tomorrow. Call me if you need me.”
“I will, thanks.”
Just knowing that I had his strong shoulder to lean on, even from a distance, made anything I had to face feel bearable.