Chapter 25 #2
“I’d say it’s a little late to take things slow. We’re in this together, for the next eighteen years and beyond. The question is, will it be as my wife?” As a proposal, that sucked. But before I got down on one knee, I had to know she wouldn’t shoot me down.
“You know I love you,” she said, sounding desperate.
“You know I see a future with you. And I want to raise our baby together. But this is happening so fast. When you talk about resigning from your job to be with me…” She sniffled.
“That terrifies me. If this doesn’t work out, you’ll hate me.
You’ll have lost everything and it will be all my fault. ”
“Why are you so sure it couldn’t work out?”
I had no doubt it would, if she’d let it.
“I’m not good at relationships!”
It sounded like she was on the verge of hysteria now, and I knew this wasn’t a conversation we should be having on the phone.
There was too much at stake.
“I told you that the first night we met, I don’t do serious!”
“Yet you tell me you’re in love with me,” I said, using my expertise in diffusing explosive situations. “And you’re having my baby. I’d say that’s as serious as it gets, Rylee.”
“You think I don’t know this is serious?” she snapped. “You think I don’t lie awake at night wondering what the hell I’ve gotten myself into, and whether I can handle it?”
There was a long pause as I processed her words, while wondering whether she regretted it. When she didn’t attempt a retraction, I said, “I guess that’s where we differ then. I know what I want. Sounds like you need a little more time to figure it out.”
“Cam, please don’t hang up. I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I love you too.” I drew a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to still my racing heart. “That’s not gonna change, no matter what happens.”
I took a personal day off work the next day, reasoning if my current situation didn’t warrant a little time for reflection, nothing did.
After driving around aimlessly for awhile, I worked up the courage to drive to my parents’ house. I planned to tell them they were going to be grandparents, but the soft expression on my mama’s face when she wrapped her arms around me, had me spilling my guts about Rylee too.
“What is it, sweetheart?” she asked, curling her hands around my face. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
“That’s not too far off, actually.” I sat down at the old wooden table with a heavy sigh. Rubbing my hands over my face, I said, “I don’t know what the hell to do, Mama.”
She poured two cups of coffee and set them on the table between us, along with the sugar, creamer, and a plate of homemade sugar cookies. “Is this about Rylee? I know you haven’t been yourself since y’all broke up.”
“Rylee’s pregnant.”
She gasped and her eyes filled with tears before her hands flew to her mouth. “Is it…?”
I nodded. “You and Pops are gonna be grandparents.”
She flew around the table, squealing with delight as she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. “Oh my goodness, this is the best news! What a blessing! Wait until your—”
“Mama,” I said, patting her arm. “Calm down. Things are complicated.”
She pulled back to look me in the eye, frowning.
“I know you must be happy about this.” She straightened up, fisting her hands on her hips.
“Cameron, you’ve wanted a family for years.
And I can tell by the way you look at that girl that you’re in love.
So, what’s the problem? You do the right thing! Marry her!”
I smirked before rubbing my hand over my mouth to hide my smile when she scowled at me. “It’s not that easy. Rylee’s a strong woman, with a mind of her own. She’s got a career she’s passionate about and a life she loves in Nashville.”
“So, you move to Nashville,” she said, spreading her hands. “What’s the problem? You go wherever they are.”
That was my mama. Always stripping away the excuses to expose what really mattered.
“What about my career?” I asked, curious to hear how my mama felt about Rylee’s rationale.
“What about your career?” she demanded. “You think you’re the first Sheriff to resign over personal reasons?
Trust me, you’re not.” A slow smile spread across her face as she snapped her fingers.
“Don’t you remember when you were in high school and Sheriff Mathers had to resign when he was caught having an affair with one of his deputies? ”
I shook my head in disgust. “Yeah, I remember.”
“At least you wouldn’t be resigning in shame.
You’d be leaving to uphold the values they all elected you for, honey.
” She sat next to me, covering my hand with hers.
“Every single person who voted for you did that because they know the kind of man you are. Strong. Trustworthy. Honourable. You do what’s right.
And right now, that means going to Nashville to be with the woman you love and the baby she’s carrying. Everyone will understand that.”
I wasn’t so sure. According to social media, people in my county saw Rylee as a backroads balladeer with a gritty reputation who was trying to lure me into her seedy world.
It was no secret I’d only known her for a couple of months and she was young enough to raise a few eyebrows.
But I didn’t care what anyone thought. I wanted her. If she’d have me.
“See, I agree with you, Mama. Resigning feels like the only option. I know I’ll find something in law enforcement in Tennessee.
If not in Nashville, maybe in Franklin or Clarksville.
” I ran a hand over my head. “I don’t know.
I’d figure it out. I’ve done every damn job there is on the force.
Maybe I’ll run for Sheriff there, when the time is right. All I know is I have to be with her.”
She looked sympathetic as she curled her hand around my forearm. “What are you not telling me?”
“She doesn’t want me to resign. Or sell my house. Or shake up my whole life for her. Truth is, she’s afraid it won’t work between us, and I’ll resent her because I made these changes.”
“Would you resent her?” she asked, gently. “If things didn’t work out?”
“No.” I shook my head, feeling the weight of my decision testing me. “I’d regret it if I didn’t even try.”
“Then there’s your answer,” she said, slapping my arm. “You know what you need to do. Resign, put your house on the market.” She laughed. “Sell everything you own. Then tell Rylee you did it because you wanted to. And you’ll stand by your decision, no matter what happens between y’all.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I said, shaking my head at her, unable to hide my amusement. “Aren’t you gonna miss me?”
She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Honey, Rylee’s having our first grandbaby. You’ll be seein’ more of us than you did when you lived under our roof.”
I rolled my eyes. “Great. I won’t tell Rylee that part.”
She smacked me upside the head. “You hush now. That girl loves us already.” She snapped her fingers, her eyes sparkling.
“I just had an idea. Ohhhh, your daddy’s gonna love this.
We should retire too. Sell the ranch. Sell all of it.
And buy a place in Tennessee!” She jumped up.
“Not in the city, of course. We’re not city people.
Just a couple of acres in the country with enough for a garden, some chickens—”
“Mama—” She was like a runaway train when she got an idea in her head. “Don’t you think you should talk to—”
“Oh, it’ll be perfect,” she said, holding her hands together. “Austin and your sister will wanna start a family of their own before long too. She’s not getting any younger either, ya know.”
I hid my laugh behind a cough when she glared at me. “Sorry.”
“And you’re all so busy,” she said, waving a hand through the air. “With your careers. Just think about it. You wouldn’t have to hire a stranger to look after your babies. Not with me and your daddy around.”
I covered my hands with my face, knowing this was a battle I couldn’t win. I just hoped Rylee wouldn’t be as wilful as my mama.