Float My Boat

19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

‘ I think I’m going to dump my boyfriend,’ said Belle, whose words were a little slurred after many rounds of punch.

It was goodness only knew what time, dark outside, the lights flashing in all their glory, the DJ long gone, and two veterans were now fighting over the playlist like a couple of children.

We’d commandeered the comfortable seats at the back of the boathouse, and it was so good to hang out and get drunk with my friends and forget about crew selection, and work, and stupid boys.

‘Why?’ said Livia, tipping her head to one side. ‘Why in God’s name would you pass up regular sex when it’s available to you?’

‘Well,’ said Belle, leaning forward as though the point she was about to make was of great significance, ‘that’s just the thing. I hit peak fertility last week, and I didn’t even bother calling him. Not a good sign.’

Livia cocked an eyebrow. ‘Might that have something to do with a certain ex of yours who just opened a new office in town?’

Belle snorted. ‘That ship has well and truly sailed.’

‘Well, just think carefully before you pull the trigger,’ said Livia, ‘because it’s bleak out here. I mean, a desert. Nothing lives. So much so that I woke up the other morning and realized I’d been dreaming about a work colleague who’s basically the anti-Christ.’

‘Mmm-hmm,’ said Ottie, rolling over from where she lay belly-down on a sofa and looking at Livia suspiciously. Ottie was drunk enough that I was beginning to worry about her.

‘Don’t give me that face,’ Livia trilled. ‘He’s trying to steal my project. He’s my nemesis. The enemy.’

‘I really want more punch,’ I said because the thought popped into my head, ‘but I’m comfy.’

The men’s crew joined us, and my chest swelled as I smiled up at Andrew from under my lashes. I wondered if he’d sit by me, hoped he would, but then a woman I didn’t know caught Andrew’s arm and drew him into conversation. I scowled but couldn’t look for long because he was standing right behind me, and I couldn’t listen because Theo plonked himself down beside me, then leaned in, too close.

‘It’s okay,’ he said, his eyes fuzzy, lids droopy.

‘What is?’ I demanded, the alcohol fog in my brain clearing a little on account of my alarm.

‘You can admit it.’

‘Admit—’

He bumped my shoulder with his. ‘You love me really, don’t you? The way you look at me with your puppy dog eyes …’ He smiled as though he’d said something clever.

Oh . At first, embarrassment threatened, but that made me angry. ‘Yes, Theo, I love you,’ I deadpanned. ‘I love you. I can’t help myself when I’m around you because you’re just so … desirable.’

I looked up to find Andrew watching with an unreadable expression, and my stomach dropped. No! Please, God, tell me he heard my scorn.

‘I knew it!’ said Theo, his eyes flicking around to see what kind of audience we had. ‘We have chemistry.’

‘You’re an idiot,’ I said, moving to get up, needing to find Andrew, who’d disappeared.

Theo caught my hand. ‘We were dating, and then all of a sudden, you were with Drew? Pft! Like that would ever last.’

I yanked my hand out of his grasp, and only just resisted the temptation to slap him. ‘Theo,’ I hissed, fury firing hot in my veins, ‘you are a man whore. You cheat on every woman you date. You don’t like me. The only reason you want me is because you can’t have me, and Andrew is ten times the man you are.’

He sat back as though I had slapped him. ‘But you just said you loved me!’

‘It was sarcasm, dipshit. Now leave me alone.’

I climbed unsteadily onto my platformed feet and raced outside into the cool night air, one single thought in my mind. Andrew . I had to find him and tell him the truth. I couldn’t let him think I’d lied to him, that I liked Theo. That I loved Theo. But Andrew would have known I was being sarcastic, wouldn’t he? He would know me well enough to—

I collided with a solid wall of muscle as I flew out of the boathouse, looking up to find Andrew, a blank expression on his face. He held out a paper cup filled with punch, and for a second, I just stood there, open-mouthed, my brain putting two and two together and coming up with something that might or might not have been four. But I didn’t take the drink. Instead, I slipped between his outstretched arms and wrapped myself around him, holding him tight and breathing him in. He hugged me awkwardly because he had a drink in each hand, and when I pulled back, I could have sworn he was going to kiss me, right there in front of everyone.

‘Oh my God, Miri!’ said Ottie’s slurred voice. She barreled into me on one side and Livia on the other.

‘That was sensational!’ said Livia, as they dragged me between them towards the locker rooms.

‘I’ll be right back, Andrew.’

‘Because she lurrrrves you,’ Ottie sang.

‘Ottie!’ I hissed.

‘Oh, Jesus,’ said Ottie, shaking us off and taking off at a run. ‘I’m going to be sick.’

Livia and I tossed each other a dismayed look, then ran after her, getting to the locker room just in time to hold her hair and rub her back. ‘Maybe next time you should eat something alongside the drinking,’ I joked as she washed her mouth out.

‘I’ve only had four ,’ Ottie protested. ‘And it’s cheaper not to eat.’

Livia and I shared another look, and the air turned thick and heavy. ‘Do you … need money?’ Livia asked, putting a hand on Ottie’s arm.

Ottie batted her off. ‘No!’

‘We can help, Ottie,’ said Livia, undeterred.

‘I do not need your … I’m fine!’

‘I can give you an advance on your paycheck?’ I suggested. Ottie was an amazing employee, and I hated to think of her struggling financially. Why hadn’t she said anything?

Ottie screwed up her face. ‘Hmmm. Would be weird. But … maybe?’

I got out my phone and fired off a quick email to my accountant, noticing at least two mistakes as soon as I pressed send, but deciding not to worry about that for the moment. ‘Done,’ I announced, and Ottie smiled and closed her eyes, then launched herself at me, hugging me in a death grip.

‘You’re the best,’ she slurred.

‘Uh … thanks.’ Footsteps sounded through the door, and I turned to face them, Ottie still attached.

‘I’m going to go,’ Hazel said as soon as she appeared, her features black and brooding. ‘I’ll take Ottie home.’

‘Uh … everything okay?’ I asked, wondering what on Earth could have happened in the two minutes we’d been away.

‘Fine.’

Silence settled, more looks darting between me and Livia, while Ottie was half-dozing against me.

‘What happened?’ Livia asked gently.

‘Nothing.’

‘Hazel …’ I said.

‘Just leave it,’ she hissed, in a completely un-Hazel-like manner.

‘Sorry,’ I breathed, so surprised at her tone that I flinched back a pace.

She softened a little. ‘I just need to go home, and so does she.’ Hazel prized Ottie off me, then bundled her out of the door, while Livia and I waved them dumbly goodbye.

‘What the fuck was that about?’ said Livia.

I shrugged. ‘Beats me, but she hasn’t been herself for a while. Andrew thinks she likes Noah … I wonder if it’s related.’

‘Oh,’ said Livia, as we made our way back to the party. ‘I thought Noah liked—’ She clamped her lips shut and her eyes went wide and guilty, as though remembering she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.

I giggled. ‘Seb? Does he like Noah?’

Livia drew her finger and thumb across her lips, miming zipping her mouth closed while shrugging.

I winked at her. ‘Mum’s the word.’

Andrew was, unsurprisingly, no longer where I’d left him, so we returned to the horseshoe of seats at the back of the boathouse, my heart fluttering up a few notches when my eyes found him lounging on a two-seater sofa. Belle and Noah had taken the opposite sofa, while Seb was in the armchair between them.

‘Everything okay?’ asked Belle, her brow slightly furrowed. ‘Where are the others?’

‘They left,’ I said, perching on the arm of Andrew’s sofa.

Livia shoved me as she passed, hard enough that I had no hope of staying upright. I fell backwards, my head landing on Andrew’s solid thigh. He only just managed to lift his arm in time and get his drink out of the way.

‘Livia!’ I exclaimed.

‘You’re welcome,’ she sang, dropping down to sit across Seb’s lap.

Seb high-fived her, and I rolled my eyes, making to sit up so my head wasn’t so close to Andrew’s crotch, but he grabbed me and held me in place as a novice woman appeared by his side.

‘Andrew!’ she cooed. ‘Come dance!’

‘Uh …’ he said, wrapping his arm more firmly across my torso. ‘No.’

‘Oh, come on!’ she pressed. ‘You promised me a dance.’

‘Dude, take a hint,’ snapped Livia. ‘He’s with his girlfriend.’

I tensed at the word, but didn’t correct her, and the novice narrowed her eyes as she looked poutily down at me and then at Andrew. But he wasn’t looking at her, and I smiled up at him, forgetting everyone around us, his leg comfortable, his warmth making me drowsy.

The novice stormed off, but none of us gave her a second thought. We were all drunk and ridiculous and I wouldn’t hold it against her; Andrew was the catchiest catch of them all, after all.

All, after all . I chuckled to myself as I let the music and conversation wash through me, only vaguely aware of Seb asking what had got into Hazel to make her leave so soon. Noah leaving. Livia punching Seb and telling him not to be so insensitive.

And then Andrew’s fingers were caressing my forehead, and I closed my eyes, savoring the utter perfection. He combed his nails gently through my hair, traced the line of my nose, squeezed my earlobe, and the lead weight that had been inside me all day finally lifted, dissolved by the feel and smell and rightness of him.

I became aware of the world slowly, something warm and soft but also firm under my face. Andrew’s torso, I realized as my brain began to focus. Both his arms were around me, and I was lying half on top of him in the near-silent boathouse, nothing but the muted chatter of birds outside filling the air, the musty boathouse smell mingling with the musky scent of Andrew.

The doors were closed, slivers of light from the small slits around the sliding wooden panels the only illumination, but even that was too bright, so I closed my eyes again, listening to the sound of Andrew’s heart as my face moved up and down in time with his breaths. It was blissful and simple and I thought how happy I would be for every day to start like this, waking up naturally with the sun and the sound of birdsong, Andrew wrapped around me.

He stirred, tightening his grip as he shifted a little.

‘Don’t move,’ I mumbled groggily. ‘I’m comfy.’

He huffed a laugh into my hair then pulled the blanket more firmly around me. Where he’d got it, I had no idea.

I tilted my head to look up at him as he lounged back with his perfectly mussed hair, one leg on the ground, one under me. He watched me with hooded eyes, his fingers gently stroking my back, and I shifted up and forward, brushing my lips softly against his without giving myself time to think.

He exhaled, and when I opened my eyes, I found his closed, so I kissed him again, this time pressing harder. His lips parted, and I gave a little sigh, happy chemicals firing through me.

‘We shouldn’t, Miri,’ he breathed, and my heart plummeted. But he kissed me again with light, exploratory movements, so I didn’t stop, sucking his bottom lip and sliding my hand under his shirt.

‘Miri …’ But as he pulled his lips away, he rubbed his cheek against mine, and the hard bulge under my hip spoke volumes.

‘What?’ I pressed, moving my lips to his neck. Maybe Ottie was right, and all the others. Maybe I should just tell him what I wanted.

He wound his hand around my ponytail and tugged me back, the almost rough treatment sending a zing of awareness to my core. ‘Do you really want this?’

‘What?’ I breathed. How could he ask that?

‘I … After all that stuff with your coach,’ he said, his free hand moving to my cheek, ‘you said you didn’t want to date anyone at the club.’

It was true, I had said that, but that had been years ago, a decade, maybe.

‘But then when you and Theo …’

‘Andrew—’

‘I know you don’t want him, but if you don’t want anyone at the club, I’ll understand.’

‘I said that ten years ago, and I never even meant it! I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth, but I couldn’t find a way to take them back.’ And it had served me well … But, was that truly what had been holding him back all this time?

His eyes bored into mine, a muscle ticking in his jaw.

‘And you never made a move, so I assumed you didn’t see me like that. You friend-zoned me.’

‘You friend zoned me!’ he protested. ‘I didn’t make a move because you told me not to!’

‘But then you rejected me!’ I said, half sitting. ‘When we kissed in the parking lot, you pulled away, and then in the tent, you left …’

He slid his hand to my neck and pressed his forehead to mine. ‘I left because otherwise I would’ve taken it too far. I would have made you moan so everyone knew exactly what we were doing, so everyone would have known you were mine.’

Fuck. That was—

‘And then you ended it,’ he said quietly.

‘I didn’t!’

‘You—’

‘Well, you dumped me right back.’

‘Miri, fuck … Just tell me what you want!’ He’d pulled back a little, his features tortured.

‘I want you,’ I said huskily, then kissed his neck. ‘Maybe I’ve always wanted you. It was too hard having you but not having you, and I didn’t want it to be fake.’

Andrew stilled beneath me, all aside from his fingers sliding up my back, and I met his eyes. ‘I wanted it to be real, too.’

‘But the woman at your work … I wondered if maybe that was why you took me to the party.’

His eyes searched mine, and he seemed confused. ‘Who?’

I looked away, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. ‘Or Claire? Everyone keeps telling me how much you love her.’

He pulled my eyes back to his, and my heart practically burst at the tender look he gave me. ‘Claire’s dating my sister, Miri.’

‘Oh.’

‘I don’t want anyone but you.’

Our lips met in a tender caress, and this time when I opened my mouth to him, he didn’t pull away. He licked my tongue, and I stifled a moan.

He pulled me more firmly on top of him, and bliss coursed through my whole being as his arousal pressed between my legs, as though every nerve in my body were delighted by him. I grabbed handfuls of his hair, terrified it would end, that he would pull away like he had before. But he didn’t. He just kissed me with slow, sensual movements and explored me with strong, confident hands.

I had no idea where my body ended and his began or where we were or which day it was or my name, and when he broke the kiss, I clutched at him. ‘Don’t go,’ I begged, my voice a desperate plea.

‘I’m not going anywhere.’ He rolled his hips. ‘But we can’t do this here.’ He pulled me up as he sat, and I straddled him, wrapping my arms around his head, needing to stay pressed against him for just a little longer.

‘Miri,’ he coaxed, but I clung harder. ‘Baby.’

‘No pet names,’ I breathed, but really the word lit me up inside.

He slid his hands up and down my back, squeezed my ass, skirted the sides of my breasts. ‘Miri, we need to get out of here or I’m going to lose my fucking mind.’

I started to pry myself off him, but somehow our lips met again, our need burning hot. I ground my hips, seeking friction, and he groaned, just as the pedestrian door to the clubhouse banged open.

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake!’ sneered Theo, pulling out the pins holding the enormous doors in place, then sliding one half to the side.

Neither Andrew nor I moved, too dazed, and then Belle came into view on the far side of the opening, along with five or so others, and I sprang to action, climbing off Andrew and racing out ahead of him, my face burning hot enough to light a fire.

‘Your funeral,’ Theo said under his breath as I passed him. ‘Don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face.’

‘Fuck off, Theo.’ Very little could have made me think badly of Andrew in that moment, and certainly nothing from Theo’s lips.

My mind spun with the lingering sensation of Andrew’s touch as I surveyed the mess left over from the party, which, all things considered, wasn’t too bad. Realizing there was no quick escape, I reluctantly joined the clean-up effort, grabbing a chair and carrying it towards the clubhouse.

‘Fun night?’ asked Belle, her tone light and suggestive as she picked up a chair and fell in beside me.

‘Yes, thank you. You?’

‘I doubt as good as yours.’

I smirked as we dumped the chairs, then headed back outside. ‘Why are you here so bright and early?’

‘Couldn’t sleep,’ she said, sliding a load of paper plates into a recycling box.

‘Why?’ I asked, taking a moment to really look at her, and finding her features drawn, deep worry lines creasing the corners of her eyes.

‘Oh, I don’t know.’ But she chewed on her bottom lip, looking like she might say more. ‘Just—’

‘Move!’ called a voice behind us, and two veterans almost barreled into us as they carried an enormous speaker towards the storage room inside.

‘Shit!’ I said, pulling Belle out of the way. ‘Careful!’

They ignored me, then two more came through with a second, and by the time they’d gone, the moment had passed, and Belle had moved away. Damn.

Livia appeared at my elbow and nudged me with her arm. ‘Fun night?’ she asked, in an exact replica of Belle’s question from barely two minutes before.

‘Yes, thank you. I slept like a baby.’

‘I bet you did …’ Livia waggled her eyebrows. ‘But what was with that novice trying to pry Andrew from your grabby little hands?’

‘It was bad,’ Belle agreed, ‘and she can’t even blame peak fertility.’

‘Huh?’ Livia and I said together, spinning to face her.

Belle shrugged. ‘I heard her talking in the locker room the other day. She’s on the pill. Scrambles your hormones so you barely even want to have sex.’

‘Oh, right …’

Belle had told our crew of this magic several years ago, and most of us had ditched the pill in favor of a coil. I’d been skeptical, but she was right. Of course she was right. It was Belle, and science. I'd learned to never doubt her.

Not a quarter of an hour later, the place was almost spotless, proving the adage that many hands make light work, and although the boats were still on the trailers and the lights were still up, it was good enough that when Andrew came up behind me, snagged my hand, and pulled me away, I didn’t even pretend to put up a fight.

Belle and Livia shared meaningful looks, then called something after us, but I didn’t hear their words, too preoccupied by Andrew.

‘We’re going to mine,’ he said, bundling me into his truck.

‘We are?’

‘The whole club will go to your café, and I don’t want to share you.’

‘They will?’

‘They’re hungover, of course they will.’

‘And what if I want breakfast?’ I said with a mock pout.

‘I have eggs. I’ll cook.’

I melted, and he kissed me, then pulled away and shut the door, and suddenly I was alone, the silence too loud. Was this really happening? Truly? The world inside my head became a haze and I couldn’t focus on anything. Snippets of sounds and color and motion registered, but the swell in my chest kept taking over, expanding up my spinal cord and short circuiting my brain until I could sense nothing but extreme elation and a smattering of nerves.

Andrew yanked open his door and jumped in, and I regained some ability to function, but then the swell surged again, and somehow we were halfway to his apartment and I couldn’t breathe, didn’t know what to do or say or think.

And then we were pulling into his underground parking garage, and he held out his hand and led me to the elevator.

And then we were in his apartment, and he was wrapped around me, telling me how long he’d wanted me, and we were kissing and gasping, our hands exploring every inch they could reach. I pulled Andrew’s polo shirt over his head, revealing the most perfect expanse of tanned skin and sculpted abs, and as he pushed me backwards into his bedroom, the divine smell of him wrapped around me like a blanket, causing my every nerve and sense to come alive, what had been pastel suddenly technicolor.

‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ I breathed, my eyes roaming over his broad, muscular physique, tousled hair, and kiss-swollen lips.

‘Believe it, Miri,’ he said, then turned me in his arms so we both faced the wall of mirrors and ran his nose up and down my neck. ‘It’s real.’

My eyes fluttered closed as he kissed and nibbled and sucked, and my hand snaked into his hair, arching so my breasts thrust forward into his palm.

I opened my eyes to find an intense, dark look on Andrew’s face, and he dropped a hand to my leg, playing with the hem of my dress, then sliding the fabric up my thighs, caressing my skin as he went. He stopped only when the stretchy fabric was rucked up around my hips, then slid a finger down the crease at the edge of my underwear and drew circles on the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. I moved my legs apart, giving him better access, and willed him higher.

It was as though I’d said the words out loud because his fingers edged upwards, and I tipped my head back against his shoulder, using his neck for purchase. ‘Higher,’ I breathed, needy and impatient. He huffed a laugh into my neck, but obeyed, and my eyes rolled back in my head as he reached the apex of my thighs, pushing aside the fabric of my underwear and skirting me with a light touch.

‘Andrew,’ I moaned, pressing my hips back into him.

He nipped my ear. ‘Watch,’ he murmured, and I did as he bade, opening my eyes to find him watching me, too.

Our eyes met in the glass, and I whimpered as he stroked me. It felt illicit, like we were watching someone else, and I squirmed against him, already so close to the brink.

I pulled his lips back to my neck, and he moved his other hand to my breast, palming me through my clothes. My bra was thin and lacy, and it rasped against my hard nipples as Andrew squeezed and massaged.

‘Oh my God,’ I breathed. ‘Yes …’

My moans became louder, the movements of my hips against his hand more frantic. ‘You’re so fucking sexy,’ he whispered, his eyes back on mine in the glass as he curled a single finger inside me and stroked. I cried out as my body convulsed, my legs buckling as the most intense pleasure I’d ever experienced pulsed through me.

He held me through it, still stroking, wringing out every last bit of pleasure and whispering how beautiful I was, how he was so glad I was finally his, and when I’d recovered enough to open my eyes, I found him still watching me in the mirror, his features stormy and seductive.

I turned in his arms and smiled up at him, taller than usual in my platform shoes.

‘You’re so perfect,’ he said, stroking back my hair.

I shook my head. ‘No one’s perfect.’

‘You are,’ he murmured, then kissed me slowly, reverently, until I was greedy for so much more.

‘I want you inside me,’ I breathed, and after the briefest of moments, where his jaw flexed, and he looked at me with a nipple-tightening expression I’d never seen on him before, he pushed the dress straps off my shoulders and tugged at the fabric until it dropped to the floor, lying in a sorry roll of elasticated material around my shoes.

He looked down at my breasts, my nipples visible through the lace of my bra, then ducked his head and sucked me through the fabric, his mouth hot and wet and demanding. I arched and held his head, gasping as he nipped me, then stepped forward so my legs were on either side of his muscular thigh and rubbed myself against him. His hand wrapped around me, supporting me as I moved my hips and squeezed my legs together, and I moaned, impatient for so much more, knowing nothing would be as good as the hard, enticing bulge in his jeans.

I moved back and my hands flew to his fly, making quick work of the fastening, then yanking the fabric apart. I slid my hand inside his briefs, and he hissed a sharp exhale, then groaned as I ran my hand up and down. I looked up into his eyes as I did it again, then pushed both his jeans and briefs down to his ankles, dropping to my knees before him and tapping on his feet until he helped me take them off.

I sat back on my heels and looked up at him, and his eyes turned feral. I ran my hands up the backs of his calves as I went up on my knees, and he slid a hand into my hair, then turned to look at us in the mirror. I took his shaft in my hand, angling my head to watch as I ran his tip down my cheek.

‘Fuck, Miri,’ he breathed, and I looked into his eyes as I licked the tip, slowly lapping at the underside. ‘Jesus.’

I sucked lightly, then took him deep enough to hit the back of my throat. He made unintelligible noises, then swore, then fisted his hand in my hair and gently moved his hips in time with my mouth. And then he pulled me off him and dropped to his knees, kissing me so our tongues mated in deep, rhythmic pulses as he guided me onto his lap.

I climbed onto him without breaking our connection, pushed my flimsy underwear aside, and sank onto his length, using his neck for purchase as I moved, gasping into his mouth at the delicious stretch.

‘Like this?’ I said, moving slowly up and down.

He groaned. ‘Yeah, like that, Miri. Fuck … yes.’

I moaned into his neck as I worked my hips, spreading my legs wide as he grabbed my ass and urged me faster.

‘You feel so fucking amazing …’ he groaned.

I ground harder against him, rocking my pelvis against his in little pulsing movements, tension building tighter inside me with each stroke. ‘Yes,’ I breathed, biting his ear. ‘I’m so close, I’m … Andrew …’

‘Me too, fuck … yes …’ And then he froze.

‘Don’t stop! Andrew!’ I desperately tried to keep moving, but he held me still.

‘Miri, are you on birth control? We haven’t …’

Fuck. I lifted myself off him. Never in my life had I forgotten to have that conversation. I stood, my mind reeling, even if my body screamed at me to sit back down and finish the job. ‘I have a coil,’ I said. ‘I’m clean. I …’ What the fuck had I been thinking?

Andrew grabbed hold of my thighs to stop my retreat. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I’m clean, but I shouldn’t have—’

‘It’s okay,’ I said quickly, the shock abating a little.

He got to his feet and wrapped his arms around me. ‘I’m sorry. We don’t have to do this. I can make breakfast. We can wait.’

I leaned into him. ‘No, I …’ I needed his mouth on mine, to feel the reassurance of his touch, so I pulled him down to me and our lips fused in a tender yet searing kiss that banished any thoughts of stopping. ‘I need you back inside me.’

He hesitated. ‘Miri …’

I ran my hands over his sinfully hot body, then took his cock in my hand.

‘We don’t have to,’ he said in a strained voice, like he barely had himself under control.

But I didn’t want him under control. ‘Inside me,’ I repeated, squeezing.

‘Miri …’

‘I want to, Andrew.’

‘I have condoms.’

I shook my head. ‘I trust you.’

‘And I trust you,’ he said, looking down into my eyes, ‘but—’

‘It won’t feel the same.’

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine.

‘I want you like just now. Nothing else will do.’ I pushed him backwards until his legs hit the bed, and then he sat, watching me with dark eyes as I stood before him in my underwear.

Intensity crashed back over us, and I ran my hands over his chest and across his shoulders, not able to get enough of him to satisfy my fingers. He pulled down my underwear, kissing my hip bone as he leaned forward.

‘You smell so fucking good,’ he said, pressing his face into my ribs as I straddled him.

‘You too,’ I moaned, sinking onto him once more.

He grunted as I took him all the way inside me.

‘And you feel—’ I rolled my hips and pulled my shoulders back.

‘Fuck.’ He discarded my bra, then palmed my breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth, and I stilled for a moment, my insides pulsing around him as I savored the slide of his tongue against my sensitive skin.

I rocked, and he released my breast with a gasp, his hands flying to my hips, fingers digging into my ass.

‘Fuck,’ he breathed as I kept rocking.

‘You said that already,’ I teased, pulling our bodies flush and wrapping my arms around his neck, already close to the brink.

I made a series of garbled noises as I moved my hips, meeting his thrusts as best I could but fast losing the ability to do anything at all. And then he slid his fingers between us, and as soon as he touched me, I exploded around him, whimpering as deep, shuddering pulses of pleasure wracked my body.

It went on and on, and then Andrew stood, lifting me as though I weighed nothing at all and lying me on the bed, spooning me, an arm over my hips as he pushed back inside, sending a fresh wave of delicious aftershocks skittering through me. He slid his fingers down across my belly, then gently caressed my swollen flesh, and I bucked, an unintelligible sound spilling from my lips as the pleasure intensified.

‘You’re so perfect,’ Andrew whispered, and this time, I didn’t bother to contradict him. ‘You’re mine.’

‘Yes,’ I moaned, both on account of his territorial words and the way his fingers were still playing me like an instrument. ‘Mmm, yes. Don’t stop.’ I lost track of everything as he kept me in that heightened state of pleasure, kissing my skin and playing with my breast until eventually he pinched my nipple and bit my neck, and a fresh wave of pleasure radiated out from his touch. He thrust a few final times, grunting a series of words I couldn’t make out, and then we collapsed together, languid and happy and spent.

Snuggling with Andrew on his sofa, basking in the late morning light, having just eaten a bacon and egg sandwich made for me by him, while wearing a robe that smelled of his dark, sweet scent, will forever be my most perfect way to spend a Sunday. Even better if you throw in nuzzling, which Andrew very much was.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured, burying his face in my neck. ‘You smell like summer.’

I slid my hand into his hair and sighed as he sucked my skin, then moaned softly as he pushed my legs apart and settled between my thighs.

I leaned my head back and let my eyelids fall closed, my body pliant, happy to be at his mercy, to let him lavish attention on me like this forevermore. But then he stopped, and some of his weight lifted, and I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me as though I was a feast he was preparing to devour.

‘You’re so fucking hot,’ he groaned, tracing his finger down the v of my robe, which had fallen open enough to reveal most of my breasts, his light touch making me shiver with anticipation.

I closed my eyes again and sank into the sensation, his fingers ghosting across my nipple, making me moan and tip my hips. He lifted his hand. ‘More,’ I whispered, wanting it again, harder, but he teased me with another featherlight caress. I arched my back, trying to press into his touch, but he removed his hand, then flicked me gently, making my hips lift and my eyes roll back in my head.

He pulled apart my robe and traced the ridges of my ribs in firm strokes that sent sensation skittering to my core, then cupped both sides, just under my breasts, applying pressure with his big, powerful hands, while his thumbs swiped back and forth.

He slid his hands down across my abdomen until his palms pressed gently into the base of my belly, and I moaned as my body turned liquid. Then his cock was nudging at my entrance, and his thumbs were pressing ever lower, making me mewl like a happy kitten as they reached my core.

I bucked my hips, and he lowered himself over me, one arm supporting his weight while a hand remained between us, pushing me apart so he could slide inside.

I made a garbled, ‘Mmmm,’ noise and lifted my feet, wrapping my legs around his hips as he moved in and out with long, slow, delicious slides, still caressing me with his thumb. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening, or that we could have been doing this all along. So much wasted time …

He stilled. ‘You okay, sweetheart?’ he asked, pulling me back to him.

‘Ye-ss,’ I moaned, as he rolled his hips. He smirked, then did it again, and I turned to putty in his hands, dropping my feet to the cushions and letting my knees fall open, and he kissed me as he moved, so deep and primal that my body became nothing but a ball of pleasurable sensation, winding tighter with each drive of his hips.

His movements grew steadily faster, more urgent, harder, and I made whimpering, gasping, moaning noises that I couldn’t quite believe were coming from my lips. ‘Let go, M,’ he murmured, something uncontrolled and wild in his tone that snapped the winding thread inside me, and we came together on one last shuddering thrust.

Not too long later, we swung by my apartment and grabbed my running gear because we both needed to exercise off the low-level hangovers that had kicked in just before lunchtime. After considerably more kissing, we finally made it out, careful to avoid the members of the rowing club still downstairs in my café, eating off their own hangovers.

We headed up the river, and the buildings soon fell away, replaced by tall reeds and steep riverbanks, willows and herons, the faint smell of cut grass in the air.

We jogged at a leisurely pace, chatting about our families and holiday plans—or lack of them—the party, our friends, and what had gotten into Ottie: who knew , and Hazel: Noah?

We paused when we came to a road crossing the river, drinking some water from the backpack Andrew had filled with lunch and a picnic blanket, but the smell of fried meat and onions had me looking longingly over the bridge, to where a food truck was parked up on the edge of a parking lot. My stomach gurgled and I turned puppy dog eyes on Andrew.

‘Oh no,’ he said, catching my drift. ‘No.’

‘Just look at it,’ I moaned like a candy-starved kid in a sweet shop.

‘No, Miri …’ He looked horrified that I would even suggest such a thing. ‘It’s—’

‘Delicious,’ I finished for him.

‘Not okay two weeks before Nationals.’

‘Pleeeeeease,’ I begged, only half-joking. When had I last had a kebab? And one little nutritional slip wouldn’t hurt, especially to cure a hangover. It was practically medicinal.

‘You’ll get food poisoning.’

‘I will not!’

‘The bad kind that lives inside of you for years.’

He ushered me across the road and down a tiny path on the other side. ‘But Andrew …’ I whined.

‘We just need to get out of smelling distance,’ he said, sliding his fingers through mine. ‘Then you’ll see reason.’

We followed the footpath signs to where a kissing gate barred our way into a field. ‘Urgh, you’re such—’ He pressed me up against the wood and, well, kissed me.

‘I’m such …?’ He asked between presses of his lips.

I shrugged because I couldn’t remember what I’d planned to accuse him of. ‘Such.’ Kiss. ‘A good.’ Kiss. ‘Kisser?’

He huffed a laugh and pulled away, sliding his hand back into mine, then awkwardly pulling me through the swinging gate, refusing to release me.

‘But what about the kebab?’ I asked, looking longingly over my shoulder.

‘You can have all the kebabs your heart desires after Nationals. Just a few more weeks …’

‘But I’m probably not even going, anyway, and it won’t hurt.’

He pulled me back into a jog, and we ran to the other side of the field, to where a smaller stream fed into the river, creating a small, sandy beach on our side that was perfect for paddling.

I raced the last bit, squealing with delight. ‘I haven’t been here in years! I’d almost forgotten it existed.’

‘I used to bring my sister here. Before … well …’ He trailed off, busying himself with spreading out the picnic blanket.

‘Before what?’ I asked, kicking off my shoes and socks and lying on the blanket, accepting my pot of pasta salad with a slightly pouty smile.

He sat beside me, not meeting my eyes as he said, ‘She was a teenager. There was this … boy. It didn’t end well.’

The topic seemed painful, so I didn’t push, instead filling my mouth with pasta and letting the rushing of the water fill the silence.

To my surprise, he continued, and I listened intently as I chewed. ‘It was hard for Beth when my dad died. Hard for us all, of course, but …’ He exhaled heavily. ‘It was somehow different for her. She was so young and …’ He shook his head. ‘Well, you know what it’s like.’

I gave a small nod. ‘Everyone’s experience is different,’ I said quietly. My dad died when I was in my twenties, but we’d never been all that close. ‘And my coach was more like a father to me. At least until …’

‘He was an arsehole,’ Andrew said venomously.

‘Not to start—’

‘He was an arsehole. End of story.’

I frowned. ‘Only at the end. Before that, he was strict, yes, but that made me disciplined … kept me humble.’

‘He undermined you,’ Andrew spat, then closed his eyes and exhaled a long breath. ‘Sorry, I …’ When he looked at me again, his eyes were pained. ‘I didn’t realize how deeply he’d buried his poison, but when you said you were nothing special, that anyone could do what you’ve done …’ He clenched his fists. ‘Even if he hadn’t lied about—’ He stopped himself. ‘It makes me want to punch the motherfucker.’

I sat up, scooting close and putting my hand on his arm. ‘I choose to remember the good bits. When he was doing his job, trying to get the best out of me.’

He shook his head again. ‘He should have been fighting for you, building you up, not tearing you down. And thank fuck he got found out when he did.’

‘But …’ I stilled as Andrew’s words sank in. I’d never thought of it that way.

‘He was a fucking liar, Miri.’

‘I know that!’ It was why he’d been kicked out of the club. Was probably the reason I found it hard to trust people in general, keeping everyone a little at arm’s length.

Andrew slid his hand to my neck and looked deep into my eyes. ‘You’re fucking amazing, Miri, and I want to rip his head off for ever making you think otherwise.’

‘Not that amazing,’ I quipped, averting my gaze, the intensity of his deep green eyes too much. ‘Diminishing in my old age, in fact … I probably won’t even make it to Nationals!’ I tried to keep my words light, to make it sound like I didn’t care.

‘They’d be idiots not to take you.’

I scoffed. ‘I’ve hardly been in the boat in weeks. They most likely won’t.’

‘I would.’

I shook my head. ‘Well, you will be in the selection meeting, so …’

‘I know,’ he said, then pushed me back and crawled over me, my head resting on the blanket as I looked up at him on hands and knees above me, ‘and I’ll always fight for you.’

My stomach clenched, my heartrate rocketing. ‘Andrew, you can’t. You’re Men’s Captain! You have to be fair.’

He tipped his head indulgently. ‘And I will be. You’re the best we have.’

Tears filled my eyes. I’d never had anyone to fight for me. My parents had been too preoccupied by fighting with each other. Then Dad died and all Mum cared about was me becoming an Olympian, then telling everyone what a disappointment it was that I hadn’t made it. I didn’t have any siblings, and although my aunt, Bea, had been a lifeline in some ways, there had always been limits to her love.

Andrew cupped my face, stroking my cheek as he looked from one of my eyes to the other. ‘You’re family, M, and there’s nothing more important to me.’

My heart clenched so hard I thought it might have stopped working, my throat closing over so all I could do was choke on my tears. We’d only just got together, and it was all too much, too intense, too perfect. Why me? Why now, after so so long? ‘But you hide them,’ I said, ‘your family.’

The words were as shocking to me as they seemed to be to him because he flinched, then moved off me, lying by my side and taking a long moment before saying slowly, ‘I don’t hide them. I just prefer to keep my private life to myself.’

‘Why?’ I breathed, knowing I probably shouldn’t, that I should preserve the flawless day for as long as I could, but some self-destructive part of me pushed me on.

His shoulders sagged. ‘It’s easier that way.’

‘Why?’ I pressed.

He broke eye contact and turned his head away, and panic hit like a bolt of lightning in my chest. I pushed up onto an arm. ‘I’m sorry, Andrew. I didn’t mean … I just … I’m really bad at this … at … well … relationships.’

The melancholy slid half off his shoulders as he returned his gaze to me, a tentative smile on his lips. ‘Relationships?’

Oh, shit . My cheeks heated because we hadn’t had that conversation. He’d called me his , the memory sending a fresh bout of tightness through my chest, but we hadn’t labeled anything … Then again, he had just called me family, although he hadn’t specified if he meant the house-and-two-kids kind.

He was still watching me closely, seeming to expect an answer. ‘Is that what you want, Miri?’

I couldn’t look at him. Didn’t he want that? ‘Well … um …’ I swallowed hard, willing my mind to find words. I should just tell him. Be honest …

‘Because I already told Beth you’re my girlfriend.’

My eyes flew wide and I swiped him. ‘Andrew!’

He caught my hand. ‘And she told Dox and my mother, and they want you to come over for dinner so they can dote on you and tell you embarrassing stories about me and—’

I kissed him, and he made a rumbling growling noise in his chest that sent desire skittering through my blood. I jumped up and raced for the water. ‘Come on!’ I called, needing to move, my heart threatening to burst with joy. He launched to his feet, and I shrieked with glee as he chased me.