24. Brody
Alex pulled away from the parking lot, her tires kicking up a flurry of dust that clung to the back of my throat. The thick, suffocating feeling matched the one in my chest. Like someone had sat on my ribs. She called me earlier, during Ro’s derby trial. Had driven out especially to see me. To deliver the news.
I swallowed hard as her taillights disappeared into the street. A reliable source had informed her that Denver wouldn’t renew my contract.
When she’d told me, a numbness had settled into every fiber of my body. A kind of spongy feeling of nothingness. Like I was in a dream, insulated from the world around me.
All the years I’d worked my butt off. All the sacrifices I’d made. Was my career over? If Denver announced I was unfit, nobody else would sign me. I pushed out my breath with a slow hiss.
What the hell would I do? I hadn’t allowed myself to consider this outcome. To examine the reality. I’d woken up drenched in sweat more times than I cared to admit, but I’d always shoved the notion of my not returning to the ice way back in my brain. Retirement wasn’t something I allowed myself to think about. Not until I absolutely had to.
The skin of my palms prickled, and I rubbed them together. My agent hadn’t called. If there was news, he’d be straight on the line, wouldn’t he? I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed his number, each trill of the unanswered ringtone taunting me. Bile pooled in my throat. He’d worked hard for me over the years. Negotiated some great deals and endorsements. I thought we were friends, too.
I checked my watch before calling the team manager in Denver. By now, he’d be out of practice, sitting in his shiny office, polishing his trophies. Again, the call went unanswered. I tugged on a breath. Maybe he had a lunch or a coaching meeting to attend. I’d try again later. Message his PA. But I couldn’t ignore that when my star had been on the rise, he’d never taken longer than three rings to pick up.
Ro. I had to find Ro. Hers was the only face I wanted to see. The only arms I wanted to feel around me. She’d take away some of the hard burn in my chest.
Through a haze of racing thoughts, I stumbled back into the arena, but she was nowhere to be seen, only a collection of damp-haired women. They side-eyed me as I scanned their faces, and the sickly scent of their perfume assaulted my nose. Ro would be out of the shower too, by now. I stepped further into the hall, almost bumping straight into Dean Millan’s chest.
“Whoa, slow down, Brody.” He placed a hand on each of my shoulders. “Your girl did good. Didn’t she tell you?”
I had no words. Instead, I shook my head, eyes darting around the arena behind him. “Well, she did great. I want her on the team. She comes across as a little kooky, but we can work with her.”
I tightened my eyes. “What do you mean, kooky?”
He huffed a laugh into the air. “I think she should get herself a new skating outfit. And I just saw her leaving the parking lot on her wheels.”
My words stuttered as a wash of cold crept over my skin. “W…where was she going?”
“I have no idea, but she looked in a hurry.”
“Dean. Which way did she go?”
The volume of my voice made Millan lean back a little. He thumbed over his shoulder. “Toward Tuft Swallow.”
With just a nod, I shrugged out of his hold and turned for the door, dialing Ro’s number with trembling fingers. By the time I got to my car, she still hadn’t picked up. I threw my phone onto the passenger seat and climbed in, gunning the engine. Had something happened? Did she get some bad news and need to get home fast? No. If that was the case, she’d find me. My car would be her quickest way home. Where the hell had she gone?
With my heart in my mouth, I raced out of the lot and headed for the road back home.
I usedthe drive out of Spitz Hollow to get a grip on my racing thoughts. I was smart. Level-headed. I didn’t give in to knee-jerk reactions.
I’d only allow myself to worry about Alex’s information when I had confirmation. Right now, all I cared about was tracking Ro down.
About halfway along the road, I caught a flash of lemon ahead. My heartbeat ticked up, and I put my foot down on the gas, the wind rippling through my hair. With the top down, I had a clear view ahead, and the word “FLOCK” came into focus on the back of a silver helmet. I loosened my grip on the wheel. Ro still wore her mum’s dress and had her green bag thrown across her back. Her arms pumped up and down as she skated.
I caught up and eased my foot onto the brake, pulling up level alongside her. She didn’t stop. Didn’t even look at me. Just clamped her jaw tight while a furious red burned on her cheeks. Despite the roll in my gut at her expression, she looked incredible, with her long braids flying behind her like Medusa’s snakes. But what was she doing out here? Why hadn’t she waited for me?
“Stop! You’ll ruin your bearings.”
Again, she ignored me, only giving me the slightest glance from the corner of her eyes.
“Ro! Stop.” My voice fought for supremacy with the car’s engine.
She sent me a glare that could strip the bark off a tree. “I don’t care about my bearings!” Her voice was high and tight.
I slowed the car down to match her speed, trying to stay in a straight line as I shouted to her across the asphalt. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? You just left me there. I thought we were a team?”
A line appeared between her brows. “Like a double deal, you mean? That’s what Millan thinks we are.”
I narrowed my eyes and wrangled to understand what she was talking about. “Sorry?”
“Oh, you missed that? He wants you to coach his team… and I’m the sweetener. He gives me a spot on the Scalpers, and you come along as part of the package.”
My gut tugged. Millan had said something similar at the arena, but I hadn’t taken him seriously. He’d been joking. Besides, Ro had more than enough skills to get a place on his derby team, fair and square. “He meant nothing by it. Did he say you had a spot?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m still mad at you.”
I shook my head. “Why are you mad at me?”
“You told me to get out of my comfort zone. Change my boring little life and do something for myself. So I did, Brody. And you went and ruined it.”
The grind of her wheels on the road matched the scream of blood racing through my ears. “I never called your life boring. And how did I ruin anything? I thought my coaching helped?”
Ro slowed a little, her hands bunched into fists. “Don’t you get it? The coaching, the training, the trial. None of it was about me. Never about what I could do. Once Millan made the connection between us, it became about you. A way to get ‘Flock the Almighty’ to coach his team.”
I opened my mouth to defend myself, but the words caught in my throat. Maybe contacting Dean before the trial had been a dumb idea. He’d messaged me a few times over the years. I thought he might like to hear a bit about Ro before he saw what she could do.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think…”
“No, you didn’t. And frankly, if he’s trying to tempt you onto his staff, he can’t have much faith in your leg coming good.”
Her words hit me like a ten-ton truck straight in the chest. Of course. Ro had no idea what the conversation I’d just had with Alex was about. Of the rumors she’d heard. I hadn’t confessed to anyone quite how close to being washed up I was. And if I told Ro now, she’d think I was trying to divert attention away from her suspicions.
“That’s unfair, and I don’t know what you’re talking about with Millan.”
She huffed and picked up her pace again. I matched her speed, the passenger door of my car almost nudging her hip as we rolled past the tall trees lining the road. “Well, the rest of the Scalpers did.”
“Sorry?”
“Locker room talk, Brody. Surely, you’d know all about that. And the ladies in this locker room had a lot to say. About how Flock’s girl got herself a place on the team. I’m sure you can imagine what they meant.”
I swallowed, trying to eliminate the bitter taste that flooded my mouth. I had a good idea of what they meant. That Ro slept with me to get on the Scalpers.
“Look, yes, Millan knows we’re friends, but you won that spot fair and square. I had nothing to do with it.”
“Are you sure? And while we’re at it. We’re friends again?”
The steel in her voice at the word “friends” set my teeth on edge. My thoughts flew back to the night in her room and our kiss outside the Crow. We’d agreed to discuss any future for the two of us after the derby trial.
“We are friends. That’ll never change. But you know I want us to be more.”
Ro sucked in her lips for a second, her dark plaits whipping in the air behind her. “Well, it sounded like half the derby team knew somebody who’s been more than just your friend.”
My stomach lurched. I hadn’t recognized any of the women, but there was no avoiding the fact I had a reputation. Just like a lot of people would, I’d made the most of my status.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m no saint. I have a past. But so do you.”
She scoffed. “They’re hardly comparable. But even if I took the spot with the Scalpers, do you think I could stand hearing about you and your conquests? Perhaps the girls and I could compare notes. Turn the situation into some weird female bonding exercise. Sing Kumbaya at the track. Swap war stories.” Ro paused. “Damn, I’m so dumb.”
I drove over a series of small potholes that made my teeth rattle in my head. “You’re anything but dumb.” I understood, though. Hadn’t my blood simmered when I’d seen the men hanging around her at the Crow? But my jealousy had nothing to do with the two of us. What I hoped we’d have together. I trusted her. “Ro, this is crazy!”
“Don’t call me crazy!”
Her words cut through the rush of air between us, their force stinging my ears. Ro shortened her strides and dug in, speeding up just like she’d done in the school gym.
“I saw you, Flock.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. She never called me that. Always Brody. “What do you mean you saw me?”
“I saw you and the woman you met at Wings and Pizza. The redhead. In the parking lot, back at the complex.”
Did she mean Alex? Ro must’ve recognized her from the other day when she pretended to have a sudden interest in spotting tits in the woods.
“She’s pretty, by the way.”
I rolled my eyes. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“She’s right up your alley. Not quite so ‘small town’ as me. More like the women you’re used to.”
A wave of exhaustion swept over me. “Ro, what is this about?”
Within a beat, she pulled into the hockey stop I’d shown her, the scrape of her skates audible over my car engine. I matched her move, slamming on my own brakes. We’d made it into town by the square, and Ro stood still in the dappled light of the trees above. Her chest rose and fell fast.
“I saw you kiss her.”
My mind raced back to the meeting with Alex in the parking lot. Yes, I’d kissed her. But it was just a kiss for an old friend. “On the forehead! Is that against the rules?”
Ro glared at me, and her cheeks glowed almost crimson. “It looked like a little more than a kiss on the forehead.”
I sighed. I’d hugged Alex, too, but again, it was nothing more than a hug of friendship. Of support. The problem was, Ro didn’t know that, and based on my track record, she’d think the worst. “The woman in the parking lot, at Pizza and Wings, that’s Alex. I’ve known her for years.”
Ro narrowed her eyes at me. “So that’s your journalist friend? Alex? She’s a woman?” She gave a tiny wag of her head. “How convenient she’s so ‘Flockable.’ Had she come to tell you it was time to head back to your real life?”
I pulled on the handbrake and threw my hands up. “Now you’re being paranoid.”
Ro’s eyebrows raised slightly, and I flinched at my words. She had every right to ask.
“Have you slept with her, Brody?”
Her question was like a dagger to my heart. How could I tell her the truth when she already doubted me? Instead, I gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. “Like I said, we both have pasts.”
“Have you slept with her?” she repeated, her tone as cold as ice.
I swallowed away the vicious burn that had crept up my chest. “Yes.” There was no point lying. “We were in college together. Things were over a long time ago.”
Ro huffed out a breath and brought her hands to her hips. “Yet here she is, hanging around in your hour of need.”
Alex was here for me when I needed her, but she was doing me a favor. Looking out for me. Just like she always had. I got why Ro might misunderstand. We hadn’t talked much about my injury, and I hadn’t told her about Alex and the information she’d given to me the last few weeks.
Nevertheless, her doubt set my teeth on edge. “And you immediately assume that there’s something between Alex and me? That I couldn’t possibly resist temptation? That I’d up and leave with her?”
Ro shrugged her shoulders. Her face was drawn, and her brow wore furrows I’m sure hadn’t been there before I pulled into town. Her silence spoke volumes.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
She gave a wry smile and a shake of her head. “Brody, it wouldn’t be the first time you left town without a word.”
My gut hit the asphalt. Of course. She meant when I’d never replied to her note all those years ago. She probably thought I’d do the same again. But circumstances were different now. I was different. We’d both changed so much, and I’d do anything to prove how much she meant to me.
I turned off my engine, ready to talk. To tell her how much I needed her. To confess that my career could be over. But as soon as I opened my mouth, my cell rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and checked the screen. It was my agent.
A wave of nausea rolled through me, and my fingertips prickled to pick up the call. I wanted to find out if he knew the decision on my contract. I looked up at Ro. She didn’t know what’d happened. Why Alex had been at the sports complex. Her eyes bored into me and I shifted on the leather of my seat.
“Hadn’t you better get that? It might be one of your girls or maybe another team with a better offer.”
The acid in her voice froze me in place. My phone rang out regardless, and I ran my eyes over her face, hoping she’d see the conflict in mine. But why would she? I’d told her nothing. Kept secrets from the woman I most wanted to trust me. I’d been right before. I didn’t deserve her. My words stuttered on my lips. “I, I…”
At my hesitation, Ro sent her eyes heavenward, and with one last glance at my phone, she turned on her wheels and skated off toward home, yelling, “I’ll see you around, Brody,” over her shoulder.
As she glided away, I slapped one hand down on the steering wheel. I wanted nothing more than to chase after her and tell her how much she meant to me, but I needed to speak to my agent. I had to know if everything I’d ever worked for was over.
With a shaky breath, I touched the screen and picked up the call.