25. Ro
Iskated into the square. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision through the plastic of Brody’s visor. I found a bench and sat down, tugging at his helmet straps. When I ripped it from my head, a warm breeze rippled through my hair. Just like the warmth of Brody’s breath that night in my room.
I wished I could go back there. Say something different. Give the two of us a chance. But he probably thought I was nuts after my runaway skate back to Tuft Swallow and my ridiculous jealousy. That he’d been lucky to escape.
I spun my wheels back and forth along the paving stones beneath me, and my watery eyes gave up the fight. Large tears rolled down my cheeks. Brody coming back to town had caused a whirlwind. A rollercoaster of highs and lows. I was trying to hang on for dear life.
I sucked in a shuddering breath just as something at my elbow gave a little tug. I ignored it. Knowing my luck, it was one of the town’s kids asking for skating tips. I didn’t want to scare anyone. I must look like a mascara-stained horror show by now.
The little tug came again with a tinkling sound, and I parted my fingers to see a pale blue eye looking at me. I dropped my hands. “Winston? What are you doing here, buddy?”
Today, our town mayor wore a blue and white striped sweater. It had a collar which gave him the look of a sailor. I ran my fingers over the stitching on its back. Winston’s Hot Daddy was a great yarn worker. Maybe he could help me with my owls.
I dragged the back of one hand across my nose, turning back to the goat. “What’s up? Did somebody make you walk the plank today? I know the feeling.”
Winston gave the tiniest bleat and butted his head against my arm. One corner of my mouth lifted. “Who was it? I’ll keel-haul them for you.” Winston blinked and chewed on his lip. “I don’t think you’d return the favor, though. And I don’t think Brody deserves a keel-hauling. Not this time.” I ran my hand over the goat’s cheek and gave it a scratch. “I think I’ve gone and made a fool of myself. Said some things I shouldn’t have.”
Winston bumped into my shoulder this time, nestling against me. “I know, I know. Life’s messy. It’s just that I accused Brody of so much with no proof. Just circumstance and the words of some mean women.” It was true. I’d only seen him hug what I now knew to be a friend, and was I really going to let the words of some girls who wished me miles away make me so sad?
Winston gave another soft bleat, this time pushing his head against the damp top of my dress. Either he was a “boob-goat,” or he was after a hug. Carrie, from the Dirty Hookers, was a Winston hugger. I’d seen her hop off her bike and lean in for a snuggle. Maybe she had the right idea.
I wiped away the tears from my eyes. No amount of crying could fix what I’d said to Brody. I should apologize, but what was the point? He’d think I was a lunatic, and no matter how I wished it wasn’t true, he’d leave town soon, just like before. Only this time, it wouldn’t be a girlhood crush he’d leave me with. Nope, this time, I was all in. Hopelessly in love with my brother’s best friend, and I had no idea how I’d put myself back together.
Winston jostled against me again, and I scratched the top of his head. “No offense, but I think I need to talk to a human.” I planted a massive kiss on his wiry cheek before digging into my bag to find my phone.
I looked at the screen, a lead-like weight settling in my chest. Brody hadn’t called. Hadn’t messaged. Eve had, though, six times. I chewed on my lip and returned one of her missed calls, nudging away a group of pigeons that’d settled around my feet.
“Hello? Ro. Where have you been? Are you with Flock?”
“No. I’m in the square, alone. But I need my bestie and a therapy slushie. Maybe a cinnamon roll. I’m feeling a little sad.”
Eve’s sharp intake of breath sounded down the phone. “You heard the news then?”
What news? I had my brain so wrapped up in Brody and skating that I hadn’t listened to the radio this morning.
“Flock’s contract.”
Eve’s words made my stomach churn, and a burn crept up my body. “What about his contract?”
“It’s all over the cable news.”
I swallowed away a solid lump. “Eve. What happened?”
“His team dropped him, and from what people are saying, he’s unfit to play at a professional level at all. Nobody’s gonna take him on now. They say he’s too vulnerable to injury.”
My breath caught in my throat. A canceled contract? Unfit to play? Vulnerable? I shook my head. This was crazy. Brody would’ve told me, wouldn’t he? “When did you hear this?”
“The news broke about an hour ago while I was at the diner. We all watched it on the flatscreen.”
I pulled in a breath before letting it out slowly. An hour ago Brody and I were at the derby track. I would have been storming out of the locker room, and he would’ve been… in the parking lot. With his journalist friend. A friend who covered ice hockey. They’d hugged, and now, when I pictured it, he’d looked so sad. Did he know then? Why hadn’t he said anything?
I closed my eyes.
Because I hadn’t given him a chance. I’d gone all gung-ho on him. Accused him of all sorts. I let out a groan.
“Are you okay, Ro?”
I wasn’t sure yet. I’d potentially made the biggest mistake of my life.
“Eve, can I stay at yours tonight? I think I need some advice.”