Chapter 9
“When I was a little girl, my dad used to say that every princess deserves a prince who’d do anything for her.
Mom disagreed with him, though.
Because, according to her, princes don’t do much…but brave knights?
They conquer, protect, and stay faithful no matter what.
I fell in love with a man who everyone considers a prince while he’s been nothing but a brave knight to me.
However, in truth, he’s neither of those.
He’s a villain.
And what do all villains have in common?
They rarely, if ever, fall in love.
For their desire for power outweighs anything else.”
Jimena
From Jimena’s emails to Florian…
Hi Florian!
According to Uncle Jacob, you’re away on another business trip, exploring your lands and searching for the clearest diamonds. Apparently, you have some awesome collection in mind, and for that, you need yellow diamonds (never seen one in real life, can you imagine?).
Whenever I think about your talent, it fills me with awe. To create such masterpieces from rough stones and see beauty where most people fail…it’s a gift from God, isn’t it?
Mom creates masterpieces on blank canvases, pouring her heart and soul into them and then shows all her emotions and vulnerabilities to the whole world.
They judge it, like it or hate it, but true art never leaves anyone indifferent.
One of the reasons she hasn’t painted a single painting when Santiago was gone…she couldn’t bear the pain or allow anyone else to see it.
For an artist to lose their voice…it must be devastating, and I’m so happy that no matter what you all do in the darkness…you still managed to preserve this part of yourself and continue to create.
Your designs sell in seconds, people craving to wear something of yours and the concentration it requires… Ah, it’s so beautiful, Florian.
I’m about to start high school, and my parents offered to enroll me into an amazing boarding school in Spain specializing in music, harp specifically.
Great opportunity to study among peers with the same interests as me while having the whole of Europe to explore.
I should be happy, right?
Instead, I wonder why they want to ship me off to a boarding school all of a sudden. All of you finished at my school, and all the parents preferred to keep an eye on you.
I expected everything from my protective dad, but never him basically offering me a way out from the family home this early in life.
Maybe it sounds dramatic, but it hurts me. Don’t they want me around? Now that their son rarely comes home and is fairly civil during most visits, they don’t need a mediator, so off to boarding school I go?
Santiago hasn’t lived with us in years, but they lure him home more often because of me. However, lately, I’m not enough to bring him back home more frequently. Considering he usually attends all the big occasions like Christmas and Easter along with birthdays and anniversaries…I’ll be around for those.
I know it’s stupid and unfair to my parents for me to wonder if they love me outside of Santiago, but I do. And I hate myself for it too because they are the best parents in the whole world.
Why do I always feel as if I come in second after Santiago and his constant rage that he can’t help but pour on us all in one way or another?
He really tries with me, my brother.
The pieces of his heart that remain inside him…I think they beat only for Mom and me, and he uses all his strength not to show his monstrous nature to us.
My family would always protect me and destroy anyone who as much as breathed at me wrong.
They would always give me anything I wanted.
I’m a princess, right?
Except princesses usually stay locked away in their tower, alone.
I just want them for once…to see me and my pain.
They stay oblivious to it, though, and instead, only add salt to injury with their offers.
Why would my parents want me away from home, Florian? And worse…why does my brother agree and support Dad’s decision for once in his life?
From Florian’s email to Jimena…
My trip to another continent proved to be great because I found all the diamonds I needed for my latest collection.
I’m going to call it ‘Sunrise Above the Ocean’ and use yellow diamonds and sapphires for it. They are so clear they remind me of your eyes.
I’ll make a necklace for you out of yellow diamonds so you can stare at them whenever you wish. They can remind you the sun always comes up, no matter what.
Humans are complicated creatures who have one thing in common.
They love to hope, even if that hope kills them from the inside out.
I don’t consider myself an artist because in order to breathe and survive in this world, I need to create, but my creation is centered on business.
Always has been, always will be.
After all, it’s in my blood.
The Price dynasty equals luxurious jewelry. One of a kind and sought out by the powerful and wealthy.
I don’t create my art in order for people to stare at it and give me compliments. I create it to sell it so our empire can prosper.
The true art pieces of mine are the rings I’ve made for the Four Dark Horsemen and all the jewelry I’ve gifted you over the years.
Those were done just for me as they soothed something within me.
It’s hard to explain, but nevertheless…a talent can be a blessing and a curse depending on how much you use it, and even when you use it…you will appreciate it only if other people do.
Art requires appreciation. Otherwise, is there any other meaning to it?
Why am I telling you this?
Playing the harp is a talent not many have, but, princess?
You do.
Whenever you’re on stage and perform, your whole face lights up, and you play each note as if you feel them.
You’re fully immersed in the process, and that’s a beautiful sight.
If you thrive so much here, can you imagine what kind of opportunities you’ll have in boarding school surrounded by talented people who live and breathe music?
It’s hilarious that you see this as a lack of love from your family when it’s the opposite.
They are giving you a chance to live away from home now, among those who share your interests and in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
Princess, I know about your pain and doubts that make you question your place in the Cortez family.
But you never question your place in my life, do you?
I love having you home so we can keep up some of our traditions (like having ice cream every second Sunday of the month). However, you need to spread your wings.
Uncle Lucian is going against everything he believes in and his protective instincts to allow you this.
Your family can survive without you, Jimena.
And I guess that’s the hardest thing for you to accept.
The world won’t end if you act a little selfish.
In the future, you will be put in a lot of situations where you’ll have to choose…
Either yourself or your family.
And I hope you choose yourself.
Because what a pathetic waste of life it is to dedicate it to making someone else happy.
Jimena
The music changes to a more sensual song while couples gather, snapping me out of my shock. “I’m not lost,” I tell him, stepping away from his embrace and bumping into someone, but he grabs my elbow, keeping me steady. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, searching for a way out and wondering where I can go to evade his attention. That will probably be a first for him, considering how many women are eyeing him right now while sending me death glares at the same time. They have nothing to worry about.
The man has no interest in me whatsoever.
“Why are you apologizing?”
His rather harsh question makes me look at him again, and I blink. “I’m not sure.” Okay, maybe I should start sounding like less of an idiot. “I’m going back to my table to wait for my friend there.” My reply is polite and basically tells him I have things to do, so I hope he will take it as a cue to leave me alone.
“Don’t apologize if you don’t know why you’re apologizing.” What? “I think it will take a while for your friend to come back.” He motions with his chin, and I follow the movement, seeing Vincent and Luna reach the second floor and disappear behind one of the doors. “Our VIP clients aren’t known to rush things once they get into their rooms.” My cheeks heat at the innuendo in his voice. “It must be your first time here.” I nod and still when he extends his splayed palm to me. “Florian Price. I’m one of the owners.”
He doesn’t recognize me despite me not doing anything to hide myself. The knowledge should send relief through me, but it only adds salt to the open wound, making it hurt more.
How insignificant I must be to my brother’s best friend that a wig and a mask that barely hides anything else can fool him into believing I’m someone else.
I should run away, but…
For the first time, I’m on the receiving end of his charm, and the curious and starving part inside me urges me to stay in his company longer and see his different side.
I place my hand into his, and the air hitches in my throat as the zipping electric volts travel down my spine at the contact, and I say, “Elena.”
“Elena…”
“Just Elena.”
We hold each others gazes for a few beats, and he raises my hand to his mouth, giving me a gentle kiss, and goose bumps break out on my skin from the touch. “Nice to meet you, Elena.” A smile curves his lips. “Make sure not to cause any wars in my club.”
Rolling my eyes, I tear my hand from his grip and cross my arms. “You just had to go there, huh?”
“Well, if the shoe fits. You’re beautiful.” Another freaking blush. “And there is no need to be offended, princess.”
For a brief second, I think he knows exactly who I am and plays along just to mess with me, especially after using the endearment he has used for years. However, another realization quickly smashes my suspicions, which further sours my mood.
Maybe he calls lots of women that.
Okay. This isn’t going to work if I’m going to get pathetic at every single instance. Better to shove all my feelings aside and focus on the present as if we’re indeed strangers.
My heartbreak can wait, but I won’t ever get a chance like this again, so I will make the most of it and try not to judge myself too much afterward.
“Thank you for the compliment, but Helen of Troy’s beauty was a curse to her.”
His brow rises at this, and I follow him when he pulls me to the side, toward the bar. “Is that so?”
“Yes. She wouldn’t have all these men fighting for her attention if it wasn’t for her beauty. No one knows much about her except that she was beautiful and a cheater.”
Once again, kudos to my parents for thinking that naming me after that particular character was a great idea.
Florian drags me into a dark corner, leaning on the bartop and motioning for the bartender to come closer. He reaches us in two short strides, and surprise flashes across his face when he glances at me, but he says nothing. “Ben, could you bring me whiskey and a virgin cocktail for the lady?”
“Sure, boss.” Ben shifts his focus to me. “Any preferences?”
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react to this because how does he know I can’t legally drink alcohol? My cover will blow quickly this way, so I say. “I’d actually like something with alcohol in it.”
Ben blinks and looks at Florian, who just shakes his head, so the bartender nods. “Okay. I’ll make the best one.” He dashes away while annoyance zips through me because, what the hell was that?
It almost felt like he needed Florian’s permission and didn’t care about my opinion on the matter.
Whatever.
I’ll have to find a way to pretend to drink that freaking cocktail without vomiting. I can’t hold alcohol for shit.
“It’s interesting how beauty changes perspective, isn’t it?” I frown, and it takes me a second to remember our earlier conversation. “Because Helen was so beautiful and wanted by all these men she was painted as evil and rather airheaded.” He drums his fingers on the counter. “People can forgive a lot of things. Beauty is not one of them.”
Oh.
This is bad.
One of the things I love the most about Florian and the dark four in general?
It’s their brains and how they think. They have different perspectives on many things, and engaging in conversations with them is an art form in itself.
Even though continuing this subject puts me on a rather shaky ground as he already knows my opinion on the matter, my curious mind cannot resist the challenge. “That’s not true. I think people are exceptionally forgiving of beauty. There is a certain privilege in having it.”
He catches the glass Ben slides his way, and then shakes it a little bit, causing the ice to clank against each other. “No, they crave it, but they also judge it. When you have beauty, according to some people, you have no right to complain because your life is much easier with it.”
“Well…it’s true to some extent. Society loves to feed on our vulnerabilities, and if you’re less than perfect…it gives someone the green light to hurt you. Verbally or physically.”
He takes a large sip from his glass. “Yes. But beauty is a vulnerability too. We just fail to see it.” A beat passes. “And the most interesting part about it? You can lose it at any time. That’s tragic and fascinating at the same time.”
I hop on the barstool, wiggling my toes in my high heels, and ponder his words, not even thinking about my response. “You think Helen’s story proves this theory of yours?”
He puts the glass back on the bartop and leans his elbow on it, amusement flashing in his eyes as he studies me. “Of course. Her beauty wasn’t her greatest asset. It was her vulnerability, and men exploited it.”
We’d never know if these characters existed and how much truth was actually in all these poems, myths, and legends. However, we can at least have a discussion about the information we do have.
“Because they wanted to own her.”
He clicks his tongue. “No. They wanted to have what owning her represented. It was about power and ego.” He traces his finger over the rim of his glass. “If we go by the theory that Helen and Paris loved each other…arguably, Paris was the only one who wanted her for love and nothing else.”
“Their love caused a war and destroyed a whole country.” Somehow, saying these words feels wrong, though, and a familiar stabbing pain aches in my heart, making me gulp for breath.
If Florian loved me, it would have caused a war between our families as well, and I wouldn’t have cared.
For once, I would have been selfish. To hell with the consequences.
Yet I’ve spent my whole life judging Helen and Paris, which paints me as a hypocrite, but then again…it’s one thing to cheat on your husband and another to fall for your brother’s best friend.
“Love is our greatest privilege. Not everyone gets a chance to fall in love or find their special someone. And sometimes that special someone is forbidden, and our love is never meant to be.” He gives me a piercing stare, and I swallow hard. Hearing this statement only intensifies the guilt within me, and suddenly, all of this becomes too much.
I can’t play this game and have these conversations with him because, at the end of the day, he’s Florian Price, and I’m Jimena Cortez.
Our love story would have been deadly to our families’ history.
We will never be together, no matter how much my stupid heart wishes for it.
“I have to—” Before I can finish my sentence, someone bumps me from behind, sending me flying forward. Florian catches me quickly, his brawny arm wrapped around me. “Oh.” I gasp, my fingers curling in his shirt when he grabs the guy who pushed me by the throat, stilling his movements.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
His voice is absolutely lethal and on instinct I press closer to him, his muscles molding into my curves because the ruthlessness and cruelty dancing on the edges of his tone scares even me.
“Sorry, man. Hadn’t seen her,” the man replies, raising his hands up while shooting me panicked stares. “Won’t happen again.” He pants, his face turning red when Florian’s wrist flexes, cutting his oxygen supply it seems. “Florian, come on,” he barely manages to say.
“Watch where you’re walking, Steven.” His fingers curl tighter into the guy’s throat who to my astonishment doesn’t try to do anything to push him physically away.
I’ve always known about the four’s power but had never seen it so clearly like right now.
“I’m sorry.” He glances briefly at me. “Didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I wasn’t even hurt, just surprised, so I say, “It’s all right—”
But Florian interrupts me right away and judging by Steven’s loud groan, his grip gets worse. “Don’t look at her. If it ever happens again, consider yourself banned for life. Now, get out.” He shoves him away, making the guy stumble several steps as he gulps for breath while rubbing his throat and shaking his head.
“Since when do they care about women?” he mutters and then glares at several people who watch us. “The show is over.”
Everyone quickly goes back to dancing and he disappears in the crowd, hightailing his ass while I’m left standing stunned.
No one around us cares, carrying on as if they haven’t just seen one of the owners assault their customer.
“I can get used to that,” he whispers over my forehead and I tilt my head back, the warmth rocking between us registering in my brain while heat envelops me, goose bumps zipping down my spine in continuous waves. “Would you like to dance with me?” he asks as the music changes to a slowly melodic tune, and for a second the whole world ceases to exist around us. My fingers curl into his chest, the warning bells going off in my head that I’m playing with fire and should step away before it burns me.
No.
Before it extinguishes me, leaving nothing but ashes in its wake.
“I have to go,” I say, forcing all my willpower and taking a huge step back from him, instantly missing his warmth, and that’s such a disaster. My heart might be bruised but it still cries for him all the same. “I have to go,” I repeat, not sure who I’m trying to convince.
Ben chooses this moment to come back and places a purple drink on the counter, grinning at me but quickly turning it into a scowl after he looks at Florian. “A cocktail just for you. Tried something new and added some blueberries into it. I hope you enjoy it.”
The prim and proper me who’s used to people catering to our every wish rears its head and I smile at him, picking up the drink. It would be very rude to leave before trying it, considering he spent time preparing it. “Thank you. I’m sure it’s delicious.” Wrapping my lips around the straw, I prepare to fake my reaction and already dread the alcohol hitting my tongue. That’s what I get for playing a mysterious woman with my brother’s best friend! “Oh,” I mutter when I drink it, welcoming the sweet and fresh flavor in my mouth, and the cold liquid brings much-needed relief to my parched throat. “It’s really good.”
Ben salutes me. “If you want more, just tell me.” He dashes off to the next customer as I wonder how many of these I can drink before I do something stupid with alcohol in my system.
I must have voiced it out loud because Florian says, “It’s a virgin cocktail.” My eyes widen. “You didn’t strike me as someone who likes to drink alcohol.”
“So you just decided something for me?” I ask, annoyed and grateful at the same time while still having an internal battle with myself.
“Yes.” He takes a sip from his glass and adds after my loud huff. “I’m just doing what’s best for you, princess.”
“Stop calling me princess.” I hate knowing he uses my endearment so freely with others and while it’s moronic to be jealous of myself…I still am. I guess I have more in common with my dad than I thought. His face darkens, but I shake my head. Focus. I need to focus. “So please—” That’s when I spot Santiago emerging from out of nowhere, the crowd parting for him as he listens to Remi and heads into our direction.
Oh my God.
If my brother sees me here right now, I’m dead meat.
Finishing my drink, I place it back on the counter with a loud ding and mutter for what seems like the hundredth time, “I have to go.”
I spin around, bolting in the opposite direction and hectically thinking about the quickest way out of here.
I might be wearing a mask and a wig but my brother would recognize me in seconds. He has some kind of a radar when it comes to me, I swear.
I take several steps before I’m lifted off the ground by Florian, “What are you doing?” I hiss, twisting my head to see Santiago lighting up his cigarette and paying zero attention to the people around him.
Florian drags me to another corner and presses his palm into the wall. It opens and he gets us inside as the wall closes behind us and instantly everything around us goes quiet.
He puts me back on my heels and I look around, realizing he brought me to some kind of dark corridor. The floor is lit in a purple color by various lamps spread all over the permitter, the only source of light, leading to countless rooms with glass doors. The cold air from the buzzing AC nips at my skin, bringing much-needed relief while barely audible moans and groans echo through the space, coating the air in something wicked and sensual, spreading awareness and curiosity through me all at once.
I feel like a prey that got caught in a trap but I’m still yet to find out what the said trap entails. “Where are we?”
“Somewhere no one will look for us.” I still at this, my heart flipping inside my chest. “I figured you needed help to hide.” Another crooked smile that causes goose bumps on my skin.
Oh.
So he hasn’t noticed my reaction to Santiago, at least there is that.
“And the best idea you came up with to help me was bringing me to some weird place?” I raise my splayed palm, stopping whatever he wants to say next. “You know what? I don’t care. It’s probably some private rooms for your most expensive clients to get their freak on.” Okay this sounds so judgmental when in truth, I have nothing against people doing whatever they want when it comes to sex as long as it’s consensual and everyone is of age.
I’m ready to march back outside when he grabs my arm and spins me around, pushing me against the door and caging me in, his strong masculine scent twitching my nose. “What are you doing?” This question seems to be on repeat when it comes to him.
Instead of answering me, he fires his own, making me blink. “Have you ever done something reckless?” He puts his hand above my head, stepping closer to me, and his presence confuses me as scorching heat travels all through my system and ignites my blood with fireworks. “Something forbidden?” His voice drops to a barely audible whisper. “Wild?” The energy around us shifts, sizzling with tension and anticipation while his muscled form seems to block the outside world away and any common senses right along with it.
“Yes.” I swallow and cross my arms, resisting touching him because that would be my undoing. “I came here.” Such a lame reply but truthfully, the most forbidden and wild thing I’ve ever done was kissing him during that Christmas party.
And that turned out disastrous, so this lie would have to do.
A sensual grin curves his mouth. “And yet you want to leave.”
“Well, there isn’t anything interesting to do here.” I roll my eyes for good measure. “Especially in this rather strange part of your club.”
“Isn’t there?” he asks and pushes back, leaving me confused once again as he turns around and walks toward one of the doors, pauses in front of it, and crooks his finger at me. “Come here, princess. I want to show you something.”
Trepidation fills my bones and a sense of a doom assaults me, warning me to stay away, but when have I listened to self-preservation when it comes to Florian?
I’m a hopeless case.
I do as he says and he presses on the button next to the door, my eyes widening when the glass door turns see-through and shows what’s going on inside.
A naked woman gets on the bed, pushing her ass up in the air as her hands clench the sheets and a man comes up behind her, running his palm over her back up her nape, and grabs her hair, arching her upward. Judging by how her mouth opens, she must moan.
However, that’s not what has my jaw dropping in shock.
It’s another man who grips her chin and tilts it up as he comes to the bed and aims his hard-on at her lips.
“Oh my God,” I mutter, wanting to turn away and stop looking, and yet it’s like a watching a train wreck.
Impossible to tear your gaze away.
I jerk when I feel Florian stepping behind me, his powerful presence somehow tainting the image and sending hot flushes all over me while the woman thrives under the attention of two men. “We should stop staring at them.”
“That’s what they want.” My brow furrows and I swallow hard when the woman wraps her mouth around the man’s cock. “They know anyone can watch them at any time and that turns them on even more.”
Voyeurs.
“Is this what your club offers?” A weird pressure starts in the pit of my stomach as fire glides through my veins when the second man grips her hips tighter, forcing her knees a little apart on the bed and his cock disappears inside her. “Private shows to whoever is willing.”
“To whoever is willing to pay and follow the rules.” He leans closer to my ear, his hot breath fanning my cheek and only adding to the fire burning brighter within me with each passing second as the men start to thrust into the woman in what seems to be a synchronized rhythm. “They have special passes to enter here and each room has its own set of rules. That one,” he points at the door next to us, “you can enter it anytime and join whoever is inside, but you can’t look from the outside.” A chuckle rumbles in his chest. “You either participate or you don’t get to enjoy it.”
“They must pay millions for this.” I can only assume what kind of kinks people in other rooms have.
“It offers privacy and indulging in their vices as much they want, plus everyone signs the contract. Perfect place to be yourself without reservations.”
“And you reap the benefits.” There is no doubt in my mind that all these people belong to the elite and they use their preferences and choices should the need arise, or simply blackmail them with it.
The Four Dark Horsemen never show mercy, they use and abuse those they deem guilty.
It becomes so hot the more I watch the threesome and I finally manage to snap out of my stupor and step away, turning around. “I need to go.”
He motions with his head toward the glass door showing us our reflection, and I wonder if it’s the exit and want to question him when I hear heavy footsteps echoing through the space, coming from the other side of the hallway.
What if it’s someone we know?
I quickly jump inside and when Florian shuts the door behind us, I huff. “This is impossible.”
Because I’m in a freaking room with no escape, with a single bed right in the middle, a bar on the right corner, and a bathroom.
There is also a small table filled with various sex toys from vibrators to floggers to…what hell is that? My limited sex knowledge didn’t expose me much to all the possible toys and I hate being the clueless virgin here while I fan my cheeks, because it’s really hot.
What the hell is going on with me?
It’s like my skin grows taut and everything inside me is on fire the more I think about the threesome from earlier even though I could never imagine being with two men at the same time.
And condoms.
So many condoms.
“What is this room for?” He takes off his jacket and throws it on the table, knocking off some toys. “Designed for another kinky fantasy?”
“No. It’s our private room. Reserved for the owners.”
Dread replaces the heat and coldness nips at my skin at the admission. “So this is where you guys fuck women?”
Anger crosses his face which surprise me, but his tone stays even despite the coldness seeping from his words. “No. It’s never been used. I don’t engage in kinks with women.”
I hold back the snort because, please. Out of all the dark four, he is the most likely one to have preferences for kinks since the other three never whored around compared to Florian. “Then why do you have it?” I shouldn’t ask him that considering, according to my lie, we’ve just met and he owes me no explanations, but I can’t help it.
“Clients have more trust toward the owners if they think they share their tastes when it comes to sexual escapades.” He goes toward the bar and grabs a bottle of whiskey, flicking it up and pouring himself a drink. “It’s just business, princess.”
“Right.”
Relief washes over me at hearing this because it means I don’t have to stand in the same place he fucks others, but it doesn’t change anything.
I do a double take when I see a man wearing just sweatpants and holding a paddle as he strolls through the hallway, and only then do I realize that the doors are see-through from the inside as well. “Everyone can see what we are doing here?”
Florian drinks his whiskey, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the action and bringing attention to his dark four tattoo. “Not unless I press the button.” He fishes inside his pant pocket and shakes a little remote. “Otherwise we can just see the outside.”
This evening has been bizarre from the very beginning and the longer I stall, the bigger my lies grow and the trap closes in on me.
If he discovers my true identity now…God knows what he’ll do, so I need to find a way to make him lose interest.
And unfortunately, there is only one way to assure that.
“I’m a virgin.” His glass pauses midway to his mouth at this and he stills, his emerald eyes focusing on me as my cheeks heat up because admitting this out loud feels…embarrassing. “I’ve never done anything with anyone.” I decide to keep the fact I kissed only once prior to myself. A girl deserves to have some pride. “So if you brought me here for a little fun, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.” I roll back my shoulders. “I’d like to go now.”
I sound like a broken record at this point.
He finishes his drink and puts the glass back on the bartop where it rattles loudly just as I take several steps to the door, only to squeal in surprise when my back connects with the glass and Florian cages me in once again.
He rests his arm above my head and his domineering presence shoots the earlier heat right back up and thousands of goose bumps break on my skin when he glides his finger from my stomach to my collarbone. “Would you want to?” His voice drops to a hushed whisper and it’s such a contrast compared to his usual tone that it instantly envelops me in heat and lust.
Licking my dry lips, I ask, “Would I want what?”
“To do something with someone.”
Our gazes clash and the air hitches in my throat at the desire filling his eyes that hold so many promises, and my curious nature wishes to discover them all.
Clearly my virginity is not a problem for him.
It’s wrong what he offers. I shouldn’t indulge him in his fantasies and besides, he wants someone else.
Not me. Not Jimena, his best friend’s little sister.
Just a random redhead he met at the club and didn’t mind bringing her to the room he has never used before.
As ironic as it is, I hate the image I’ve created because she has what I never will.
Florian’s attention and desire.
But…
If I walk away now, I will never get the chance to have my first time with him. Never know what it is like to experience having his body next to mine.
It’s deceiving and unfair because he’d never choose me or want me, and I should be ashamed.
“If you want, you can go. I won’t stop you.” A raspy breath slips past my lips as he places his palm on my collarbone and skims it upward, gently wrapping around my throat as his thumb brushes against my wildly beating pulse. My heart gallops inside my chest so much, it’s a wonder it doesn’t jump out of me and lets Florian see how much it loves him. “Or you can stay and discover what true lust entails.” His thumb glides upward and presses on my chin. “The choice is yours, princess.” He sways closer to me and I bump my ass into the door, my hands clenching his shirt, and I’m not sure what I’m trying to do.
To keep him close or push him away to escape with my sanity and heart intact.
My labored breathing fills the space between us when he tips my chin up and places his lips on my pulse point, kissing it lightly, and the butterfly-like touch shoots arrows of desire all through me. My core clenches when I feel his thick bulge dig into me.
Oh my God.
I should stop this madness.
“What is it going to be, princess?” I close my eyes when he skims his lips down my shoulder, nibbling on the skin and scraping it with his teeth, making me gasp and jerk in his hold. It sends desire into every cell in my body while his scent fills all my senses.
I splay my palms on his chest, groaning inwardly at his carved muscles that instantly surround me with safety, and I wonder how they would feel molding into my curves. Where I’m soft, he’s hard all over.
Forbidden, forbidden thoughts but o—so tempting.
My fingers curl on his chest and I prepare to push him away because it’s the right thing to do, but instead I drag him closer to me.
“It’s a mistake, Florian.” My core dampens, his proximity causing heated sensations to surround me, and it’s hard to breathe. His pelvis presses into mine when he takes a step forward. I trap the groan in my throat because the thick bulge urges me to cup it and learn everything about it.
It speaks about his desire and for someone who has been invisible to him…it’s a joy in itself even if his hard-on is not for me.
It’s for a mysterious redhead.
Is it possible to be jealous of yourself?
“That doesn’t sound like a no,” he whispers, and his husky voice should be punishable by law for how easily it elicits a tremor through me and ignites fire in my veins as it creates twisted webs around me, seducing me into sinful thoughts that have only heartbreak waiting for me.
I need to resist him and act fair.
I love him but that means very little as he has eyes for another woman who caught his attention so easily, when the real Jimena…she didn’t get as much as a glance from him.
“It’s a mistake,” I repeat for whose benefit, I have no idea, maybe if I say it often enough it will register in my traitorous body that exposes my throat to his wandering mouth as he skates his lips over it, and my gasp echoes in the room when he sucks on skin so hard, I know he’ll mark my neck.
Oh my God.
My first hickey and in a place where no one would ever miss it, and just the idea should horrify me because, how could I ever explain this to anyone?
Instead it makes me hotter than ever as I’ve never seen a woman who had his marks or rather, I’ve never seen a woman he slept with, period.
However, the idea that he craves me so much he wants to stake some kind of claim over me plays havoc on my mind and I pull him even closer despite alarm bells going off in my head.
The thought of being special to him…even in my alter ego persona flips my heart and soothes the permanent wound he has inflicted on it with his indifference and cruelty.
“Is it, princess?” My eyes close of their own accord and I rest my head against the door while his tongue brushes over my throat, as if apologizing to the bruised skin. “Or maybe you haven’t done anything reckless in your life and you’re afraid to take what you want.” His palm slowly glides down until it settles on my waist and he grips me hard, making me gasp and raise on my tiptoes, while the ache inside me spreads, needing something…
Needing this man alone.
“Being reckless has consequences.”
“And so many rewards.” His mouth skates back, reaching the underside of my chin, and he scrapes his teeth over it before soothing the sting with one swipe of his tongue, his hips rocking into me while my entire being shakes. “What do you want, princess?” His lips brush against mine as we share a breath and I clutch the lapels of his shirt tighter, finding thousands of reasons to push him away, and somehow all these reasons pale in comparison to the one screaming at me to succumb to the temptation.
To be selfish for once in my life and take what’s offered without trying to play into the good girl act and think about the consequences.
“It’s wrong,” I reply as he captures my lower lip between his teeth, sucks on it, and pulls at it until he draws blood. The pain mixing with pleasure causes tingling sensations while my fingers sneak into the open V of his shirt and my nails cut into his skin. He hisses a breath through his teeth. “You don’t even know me.”
“Does it matter?” He chuckles, dragging his mouth to my cheeks and whispering into my ears, stilling everything around me while my imagination paints forbidden images that should scare me. And they do, but the craving to indulge in them is far greater than any fear. “What do you want, Elena?” he repeats his question, rubbing his cheek over mine, and his light stubble tickles me, intensifying the maddening need that consumes all my rational thoughts. “Tell me.”
For you to call me Jimena and know my true identity.
But like he said, does it matter? He would never be mine.
Never want Jimena.
My eyes snap open and we stare at one another, the energy around us cracking the tension as time stands still, letting me decide what will happen next while ropes of need and guilt wrap around me throat, cutting off my oxygen supply.
This magnificent and complicated man is mine for the time being. I can touch and explore him, selfishly learning what it is like to be a woman he desires, and then run away, forever holding on to the memory.
Your first time is supposed to be special, or so they say.
And my first time can be special, only if it’s with Florian.
I’ll be reckless and face the consequences. For once, I’ll pay for my mistakes and not someone else’s.
Internally coming to a decision that will inevitably crush my soul, I moan when he pushes farther, his thick bulge rubbing up and down my core, and I hate all the clothes separating me from him because I’m greedy.
If one time is all I have with him, I want all of him.
“Florian.”
“What do you want, princess?”
I move my arms until they circle his neck and bring us closer, not an inch of space between us, while his thumb presses on my chin and my mouth opens, our heavy breathing breaking the silence around us. My body is on fire and my nipples must peek through the dress as they tingle while the ache inside me grows along with the pressure that demands an outlet.
“Do you need my help?” His voice mutes all my reservations and holds so much sin it awakens dark cravings only he’s able to satiate. “This untouched pussy is probably dripping now.” A moan slips past his lips, my core clenching around my sodden panties, and it earns me another chuckle. “Should I lick it clean until you come in my mouth, learning what it’s like to be worshiped by a man?”
My skin flushes along with scorching heart nipping all over me at his words, because yes. Lacing my fingers in his hair, I tug on it, wanting to finally kiss him, to feel his mouth at least somewhere, or I’m going to burst in his arms from unsatisfied need.
I whimper when he steps back and gasp when he spins me around, my palms landing on the glass door, and my stomach dips when I notice two men roaming outside, peeking into rooms. Florian crowds me from behind. “If they could only see inside here.” He grips my hair and throws it over my shoulder while his hand pulls at the zipper of my dress, each zap drumming along with my heartbeat. “Watching me touch this sensual body that should be displayed in museums, for how perfect it is, so everyone can admire it.” His lips move down as he leaves small kisses in his wake, the dress sliding right along with him until it falls by my feet. Cold air touches my exposed skin that’s covered only by my lacy panties, and he nudges me a little, making me step away from it, kicking the dress away. “You’re a siren who can tempt a man to his downfall with just one look.” A sob slips past my lips when his hands land on my stomach and skim upward until he cups my breasts and squeezes them hard, shooting arrows of desire straight to my core. “Men would fight wars for you.” I rock back and rest my head on his chest as he plays with my nipples, his thumbs caressing them back and forth.
His every touch drives me insane and I move restlessly against him. There’s a certain thrill and wickedness from being almost naked while he’s fully clothed.
“Please.”
“I’ll destroy them all, though, if they so much as look at you.” I still and whimper when his hands drift upward until he wraps it around my throat, hard enough that I feel my pulse drumming against his fingers but gentle enough he’s not hurting me. “I don’t share what’s mine, and you’re mine. You made your choice, princess. There is no going back now.” Possessiveness coats his tone, which should be disturbing in its nature because it promises retribution to whoever decides to go against him.
My body, though?
It flourish under it, and he turns me around again, my ass connecting with the cold door while his gaze darkness, and I pull at his shirt, needing to have him close so I won’t be alone in this insanity.
So I won’t be the only who’s committing a mistake.
“Is this what you want, princess? To belong to me?” I shake my head, and his brow arches. “No?”
“No.” I find my voice again. “I want you. In any way I can have you.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, and cups my breast, lifting it to his mouth and sucking on the nipple, and my head hits the door, my moan ringing in the air as I press him to my chest.
He licks the tight bud, the pleasure spreading through me turning into pain when he sucks at it again and then shifts to the other breast, leaving wet imprints in his wake and repeating his actions.
Oh, my. If his mouth feels like this on my nipples, what would it feel like…
I jerk in his hold when he delivers a small bite on my flesh, right before drawing my nipple into his mouth and pulling it. “Florian, please do something.”
The fire consuming me scares and excites me because it reminds me of a wave that is about to swallow me whole, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.
“You’re mine, princess, and no other man has a right to watch you come. That’s only my prerogative, and I’ll kill anyone who thinks otherwise.” He slams his mouth on mine, swallowing my whimper as he imprisons us both in a hot and raw kiss designed to drive me insane and forever ruin me for anyone else. Electric prickles travel all over my skin as our tongues brush against each other’s and my core dampness, my arms pulling him closer to me as his hard-on taps against my clit and causes for the pressure in the pit of my stomach to grow.
Florian consumes me and instead of trying to escape the fire that will burn me alive, I run toward it as he’s vitally important to me. Nothing matters besides him in this moment.
My fingers thread in his hair and angling my head back, I deepen our kiss and it turns hotter and more possessive while his hands roam over my body, squeezing my waist as if he has all the right to claim me and warn everyone to stay away. His fingers dig harshly into my hips and excitement flares inside me at the prospect of seeing his marks on me, showing me how much he truly wants me and how my body serves as a canvas to his lust that doesn’t seem to have boundaries.
In this moment, Florian is only mine and belongs to me even if in the real world he despises me and hates my feelings for him.
He has no place for my love in his life but he has for my lust, and I’m going to give myself to him tonight.
I just hope he won’t hate me too much if he ever discovers the truth.
We separate for a second, we both gulp for oxygen and then groan when he grips my ass cheeks and hikes me up, my legs wrapping around him and his thick bulge connecting with my core.
“Florian,” I whisper against his mouth before he captures mine in another heated kiss, going toward the bed, and each step drives his cock into me and my core clenches, just imagining having it inside me. Carnal and passionate webs build around us, casting a spell on us and creating a cocoon where nothing but him exits. A man who corrupts me with every breath he takes because I can’t resist him. I’m forever drowning in him. “I need…” The words stick in my throat, I have no idea what my body needs besides him soothing the blazing fire washing over me and promising me pleasure unlike anything I’ve experienced. My body urges me to indulge in his wicked desires.
Palming his head, I lean down and kiss him hard now, pushing my tongue inside him and searching for his, and he growls into the embrace, stopping, though his hold on me only tightens.
I could kiss Florian for eternity and never get tired of it, but my surprised yelp rocks off the walls when his muscles tense and he throws me on the bed, where I bounce several times before sitting up.
Throwing my hair over my shoulder, I watch him and bite on my lip at seeing him standing in front of me, so handsome and dashing while lust shines in his gaze, and he devours me with his eyes, sliding it possessively over my form.
I make a move to cover myself up, feeling too exposed to his experienced stare, but his growl stops me. “Don’t ever hide yourself from me.” He puts his knee on the bed and grabs my calves, slowly pulling at them until I’m lying flat on my back, staring at the dark ceiling above. He grabs my foot one by one and takes off my shoes, throwing them somewhere in the room as he gives my ankles soft kisses before placing my feet on the mattress, creating a space for himself between my thighs. “Such beauty should be admired.”
He delivers a kiss to my stomach, the flesh dipping at the contact, and a light moan escapes me when he scrapes his teeth over my skin, trailing his lips lower until he reaches my navel and rubs his face over my panties. A tremor rushes through me, tickling sensations nipping all over my nerves, while a sigh escapes me and I arch my back.
“Only by me.” He fists my panties and pulls at them until he rips them off, the tearing sound somehow filling me with an anticipation that turns into scorching heat when he runs his finger down my exposed flesh and pushes the digit in, the tightness greeting him making both of us groan. “So tight and wet. And mine.” His thumb presses on my clit, my hips shooting up, but his other hand grips my hip hard, keeping me steady for his sensual torture designed to dump me in a pool of lust.
My hands drift to his nape, my nails digging into him right before my fingers thread in his hair and tug on him, my voice hoarse and pleading. “Florian, please.” The fire consuming me drives me mad and he seems to be the only one who knows the cure for it.
He skates his fingers up my folds, and I press my head into the mattress while he shoulders my thighs wider apart. “Watch me, Elena.” My name shouldn’t sound so forbidden and sinful, awakening every hair on my body while a hot flush rushes through me. “Elena.”
Panting for breath, I look down and my fingers grip his hair when nothing but lust greets me in his gaze while a devilish grin curves his mouth. “You can be as loud as you want, princess.” He circles his finger around my opening, gently probing inside, and my core clenches around him, only to feel empty once he slides it out. “But watch as I make you mine.”
Joy sinks into every bone in my body at him calling me his despite all of it being an illusion, a mirage that will never become my reality because all I get with him is a moment in time and nothing else.
He leans forward and his hot breath fans my core when he brushes his chin over me right before his puts his hands on the inside of my thighs and pushes them into the mattress. “All flushed and mine.” He sucks on my skin, pulling it hard and leaving hickeys. An odd thrill fills me at the reminder I’ll be left with.
They would fade away but until then…I’ll look at them and know he wanted me even if I was a thief who stole this moment from him. “Watch, princess, how a man makes a woman his.” His husky order filled with wickedness causes me to shiver, our gazes meeting, and I cry out when he licks me from bottom to top, biting my clit.
Instant hotness and unfamiliar sensations rock through me, powerful and surprising in their nature. They seem to push toward a pressure building inside me that needs him, and I’m hopeless against the blazing waves coming at me. “Florian,” I moan, breaking the eye contact as I arch my back, my thighs clamping around him while he sucks on my clit, flicking his tongue back and forth over it. Every brush plays on my nerve endings, drumming on something inside me that urges me to fall over the cliff, and yet I’m unable to do so. Fisting his hair harsher, I moan when he licks me, roaming through my folds and burning me with his hot and precise swipes. “Oh,” I whisper when he slides his palm under me and lifts me to his mouth, driving his tongue deep inside me, and my walls instantly close around him while he delivers torturous thrusts, creating a welcoming friction within me that has my pleasure written all over it.
Slowly, catching his rhythm, I start to grind my hips in sync with him, my core contracting around his tongue as he probes me deep, and my hands fall on the bed, clutching the sheets while our shadows on the wall fuel gasoline to the already spreading fire that nothing can stop.
Because the images the shadows paint for me are magnificent and I wish I could forever memorize them, but I can’t.
“Florian, I have to…I have to…” I groan when he changes tactic and drags his tongue upward, scraping his teeth over my clit and pulling at it with his lips, my insides boiling while the pressure becomes unbearable, threatening to break me. “I have to…”
“What, Princes? Voice your wish,” he orders, skimming his lips over my core and stabbing his tongue in again, devouring my flesh, and my body is on fire, effectively shattering any reservations and my shyness.
In this moment, I care only about the pleasure this man can give me.
“I have to come. Please make me come.” He groans into me, licking me up and down some more before biting on my flesh and a sensual haze cascades over me, making it almost possible to…
A frustrated sigh leaves my lips when he wipes his smeared-in-my-juices chin on my navel and pushes up on his knees, everything female in me thriving at the knowledge that I’ve put this wild look on his face and his lips are glistening with my arousal. “Next time I’ll make you come on my tongue, but not the first time. The first time you come on my dick only, princess.”
He lowers the zipper of his pants, his hard-on springing free, and my eyes widen at the sight, my fingers curling on the sheets because it’s…beautiful, and clearly bigger than most, at least to my limited knowledge.
I wish to trace my fingers over the blue vein and touch the soft skin, wondering how it would feel against my hand, and that’s when I notice a drop of precum leaking from the tip, and hunger for something I never experienced envelops me.
“Fuck. Don’t look at me like that, princess. Not tonight.” His voice sounds strained as he says it. “I’ll teach you how to suck me off later.”
A raspy breath escapes me as I lay on the bed, watching him through hooded eyes when he reaches for a condom and rips the foil pocket with his teeth before fisting his length, making me moan just imagining it inside me. Blazing fire surrounds me, perspiration covering my skin, and while I should be ashamed of having my body open to his hungry view…I bask in all the attention. “Ah, princess. You’re already addicted to my cock without even trying it.” He runs his hand up and down his hard-on, the precum leaking from the tip, and the wetness in my core intensifies, the desire consuming me and demanding one thing only.
Florian.
He makes more room for himself between my thighs, placing his hands on either side of my head and leaning forward, our mouths brushing against each other’s as he glides the tip of his cock against me, sending tickling sensations through me.
My hands grip the sheets underneath me as our gazes clash and nervousness sweeps over me despite my lust, reminding me that I’m about to have sex.
For the first time ever, with a man I’ve been crushing on for years…but who has no idea about my true identity.
“Relax, princess,” he whispers over my lips, and captures my mouth in a hard and possessive kiss that’s meant to calm me down, yet it awakens something inside me, creating a sense of longing within me.
I tip my head back, allowing him to deepen the kiss, our tongues entwining and engaging in their own dance, and that’s when he enters me in one, hard thrust, breaking through my hymen.
Tearing my mouth away from him, I gasp in pain and push at his shoulders because everything inside me aches from such an invasion.
Oh God.
This is sex? My girlfriends have some explaining to do because this sucks and stings; it’s no earth-shattering experience!
“I prefer foreplay,” I deadpan, and his throat rumbles in laughter as he skims his lips toward my chin, nipping on it and peppering small kisses all over my jaw as he slides to my neck, giving it a gentle bite.
I expect him to stay still but he surprises me when he pushes deeper, my walls stretching wider to accommodate him, and I groan. “Shhh, princess. It’ll be all right in a second.” He licks the column of my throat before scraping his teeth over the exposed flesh. “You need to get used to me.”
Somehow this comment annoys me and my hands land on his chest, my nails cutting into his skin and earning me a hiss as I glare at him. “Speaking from experience? Just how many virgins have you been with?”
Despite my jealous and possessive nature when it comes to this man, his past never bothered me much. As a single man he owed nothing to anyone and could do whatever he wanted, and it’s not like I expected him to stay a saint.
When you fall in love with someone older, you sort of have to accept their past experiences simply because they’ve lived longer than you.
However…
The idea of him being anyone else’s first sends painful sensations through me and brings up old insecurities, threatening to burst my bubble.
He’s my first everything and as foolish as it sounds…I’d like to be special at least in some way when it comes to him.
Florian’s eyes flare in anger and he pulls back, only to drive into me again, and this time around I gasp from the pleasure blanketing the earlier pain. “I’ve never been anyone’s first but yours.” He delivers another hot kiss, owning my mouth in the most primal way, and each stab of his tongue is a statement in itself as his hips rock back and forth, thrusting into me hard once again. This time, though, powerful sensations spread through my veins, awakening my insides anew and they are craving things that only he seems to know how to satisfy. “You’re special, and mine. Only ever mine.”
Warmth fills me at his admission and I ignore the little voice in my head that screams at me that this is just my fantasy because the man has no idea who I am. So he says all these things…to someone else.
Circling his neck, I raise up a little and kiss him because as long as he owns me, all the other voices in my head shut up.
This might be an illusion of my creation but I prefer to drown in it.
He moves in and out of me, deepening his strokes and driving me insane with each thrust. As every sway of his hips pushes me closer and closer to the cliff that promises me pleasure and agony alike.
My thighs clench around him, my legs wrapping tighter as I lift my hips in sync with his movements, meeting his strokes that envelop me in a need that’s almost within my reach.
He swallows my moans, continuing to kiss me, and then laces our fingers together, changing his rhythm as his thrusts turn agonizingly slow. We’re connected everywhere and for some reason, tears form in my eyes at the intimacy and contact because it’s a dream come true.
My man is finally mine, even if only for a moment in time.
He leans back and we both gulp for breath, staring at one another as his thrusts become deeper, and he reminds me of a golden sculpture. My palms slide lower and I grip the lapels of his shirt. “I hate it,” I whisper and moan when he changes the tempo once again, gradually increasing the speed of his hard thrusts. “I want to touch you.”
“Next time, princess. You’ll touch me all you want.”
My heart pangs painfully because there will be no next time. Just like Cinderella, I will run away once it’s over and lock this memory away so no one would know.
Especially Florian.
All thoughts fly from my mind when he enters me, the passion around us growing while the fire in the pit of my stomach intensifies. “Come for me, princess,” he whispers over my skin, right before biting into my flesh and driving hard into me, dragging me closer and closer to the peak as my whole body tightens in anticipation. “Do it.”
He sneaks his hand between us until he reaches my clit, pressing his thumb over it while slamming into me three more times.
And finally the tension inside me erupts in fireworks, dumping me in blissful pleasure, surrounding me with a heat and satisfaction I’ve never known.
The emotions are so intense all I can do is watch him as he slams into me five more times before stilling and spilling since the condom. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him closer, and our hearts beat wildly in our chests while we catch our breaths.
I’ve rarely thought about my first time because logically, I knew I could never have Florian and I never wanted another.
And while my first time is built on lies…it couldn’t have been more perfect.
I want to stay here with him and never face the outside world, pretend we are strangers who found each other and have a chance to stay together. Enjoy our passion and flourish under his touch as I discover what lovemaking entails.
But nothing dishonest can last forever.
Florian rolls to the side, taking me with him, and I end up on his chest while he runs his fingers through my hair. “How are you feeling, princess?” he asks gently, his eyes scanning my features, clearly searching for traces of pain. “You need a hot bath now.”
My cheeks heat up. Despite engaging in all the carnal things we just did, I’m still shy from talking about it. “I’m okay. A little sore.” And probably will stay that way, but like he said, a hot bath should fix it. “I need to go.”
“Why?”
I swallow hard because it’s such a loaded question, but how can I answer it without blowing my cover? “I’m nineteen. Well, I’ll be twenty soon.” His face doesn’t change. According to rumors, he never goes after anyone younger than him, so shouldn’t he be shocked or something? “Aren’t you surprised?”
“Why would I be surprised?”
Is he going to answer my questions with questions all the time? “I heard you don’t go for people my age.”
Anger crosses his face and his tone becomes almost lethal when he replies, sending chills down my spine that leaves no room for doubt, “Enough. Don’t bring up other people again. You’ve done it three times tonight already.”
I have to get out from here before my stupid heart convinces me to tell him the truth and hopes for the best, except the best won’t happen.
He’s all sensual and charming for a sexy redhead but a ruthless hater to the real Jimena.
And isn’t it humiliating how readily I accept his scraps when my parents raised me to accept nothing but a feast?
The thought serves akin to cold water pouring on me from above and I jerk in his hold, scooting backward as he frowns. “What are you doing, Elena? Come back here.” My middle name sounds odd on his lips, almost as if he’s mocking it, but I don’t have time to dwell on it much.
I have to get out of here.
I quickly grab my dress from the floor and put it on, ignoring the ripped panties, and slip into my heels. “Thank you for this,” I say, zipping up. “But this was a mistake. It won’t ever happen again.”
He gets up as well, adjusting his pants and shirt while his eyes blaze with fury. “And why is that?”
“Because it was a one-time thing. A temporary insanity and nothing more.” I hop on my one leg, trying to put my heels on properly when my wig falls to the floor, freezing everything around me.
Our gazes connect and he moves closer to me while I stand still, too scared to make a move because he knows the truth know.
He reaches me in three short strides and rips my mask away, leaving me with no armor to protect myself from his fury. “Jimena.”
The traitorous part in me…is happy he knows it’s me and not some random woman. He might have rejected me all this time, but he found pleasure with me. He can never take that away from me.
We stare at one another for what seems like forever and it finally becomes too much for me because I spin around and run away from him.
My whole life, everyone told me about my parents’ love story.
How my dad fell in love with my mom from the first glance and chased her all over New York until he brought her to Chicago and she finally accepted him. He made it his life’s mission to be with her and broke through all her walls.
She once said that no matter how many times she ran away or tried to control her feelings, she couldn’t do it because Dad was right there, bulldozing through all her protests.
Florian doesn’t chase me, though.
He doesn’t call my name.
He does nothing to stop me.
And this breaks my heart more than I could have imagined.