Chapter Six
THE SUN RAYS catch choppy waves and sends a bright reflection up through the clouds to Jeremy’s plane window. He watches the wide expanse of the ocean fly by, soaking it all up while he still can. In just a couple of hours, he’ll be landing back in Colorado Springs.
After the beach scene was successfully shot, there weren’t many more scenes with Clark to film in Hawaii.
Clark was to fly to Vancouver to finish filming his scenes on stages and Jeremy was placed on a commercial airline with a one way ticket home.
The ending of filming had snuck up on Jeremy, having been consumed by the island and the movie for so long it was hard to believe over a month had gone by.
Eneki had offered Jeremy a full time position with the horse wranglers, and although the money was tempting, Jeremy was eager to get back to his cattle and sustainable way of life.
As for Clark and him, it was tense to say the least. They were professional, but their interactions were lackluster.
Neither of them caught the other’s eye, stealing small glances but nothing more.
Jeremy had plenty of time to tear out his hair, wondering if he’d done the right thing by protecting himself.
He had dreams about that kiss, wondering if he’d ever feel that way again.
Soon, the once endless waters are replaced by land.
Flat plains transform into rocky, steep mountainous valleys as he soars by.
They pass over rural areas and Jeremy tries to spy Limerick and Willmaker Ranch before they approach the city limits and land.
Jeremy waits forever to get off the plane, the airport just as bustling and confusing as the one in Oahu.
He eventually finds his way to passenger pick up and waits by a numbered pillar until Yana pulls around with the ranch’s Toyota.
Tossing his duffle bag in the truck bed, Jeremy climbs into the passenger seat with his backpack and greets his friend, “Hey, stranger.”
“Ah, you’re really here!” Yana smiles, bringing her arm up around his shoulder and giving him a half hug across the seat bench. She leans back and gives Jeremy a once over before putting the truck in drive, saying, “You’re so tan!”
Jeremy chuckles, buckling up, “No more than I usually am.”
“No way. You’re, like, super tan. It’s different,” she smiles, “So, how was it?”
“Really something,” he rifles through his bag and pulls out a puka bracelet he’d bought for her from a souvenir stand, “Here. Got ya this.”
“Aw! It’s actually so cute. You always get me such good gifts,” Yana takes the bracelet and rolls it between her fingers as she drives out of the airport. She puts it on her wrist and her smile grows somber.
Jeremy looks over to her, asking, “So, what’s new on the ranch?”
“New? Oh, not too much,” she clears her throat, scratching her jaw.
It may have been a month since Jeremy’s been gone, but he can still tell when his friend is hiding something. He pushes her shoulder a bit and asks, “C’mon, what’s been going on?”
“Well,” Yana chews on her lip, “It’s Laurelai. She’s a tyrant. And a pot stirrer.”
“Ha, what does that mean?”
Yana shrugs, “There’ve been some rumors.”
Jeremy’s blood runs cold, afraid of the answer but asking the question anyway, “What rumors?”
Yana takes a deep breath, glances over to Jeremy and then bursts out asking, “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were gay?”
“Oh my god,” Jeremy hangs his head in his hand, collapsing back in the seat.
“Holy shit, it’s true. You and Barry? For real?” Yana laughs out of astonishment.
Jeremy shakes his head, the worst case scenario playing out. He asks, “Who all knows?”
Yana lets out a genuine, louder laugh, “Who doesn’t know? Poor Barry… It’s been the talk of the ranch!”
“Why didn’t he tell me about this?”
“And how was he supposed to do that when you don’t pick up the phone? When’s the last time you checked in with any of us?” Yana rolls her eyes, “You should feel lucky I even agreed to come pick you up.”
“Hey, I got you a gift, didn’t I?”
“Hm. Still, you could have texted more,” she wiggles in her seat, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. But I was really busy and the time difference was insane,” Jeremy tells her his excuses for distancing himself from the ranch.
“Whatever. Just don’t go blaming Barry for what you’re about to step into is all I’m saying.”
“Well, can you bring me up to speed?” Jeremy asks. Yana shoots him a sidelong glance of disapproval and he tacks on, “Please?”
She chews on her lip for a moment before spilling, “Laurelai said she caught you and Barry going at each other.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, there were more details than that. And you know people, it just snowballed and now they’re saying you two were full blown having sex behind the dining hall,” she explains. Her voice is smaller as she asks, “Y’all didn’t actually, you know…?”
“No! Well, not there,” Jeremy clears his throat and watches cars pass on the left. He scrunches his brow and looks back over to her, asking, “Didn’t Barry clear the air? What’s he been sayin’?”
Yana shakes her head, “Barry’s kept tight lipped. Hasn’t denied it though, so people just assumed. You, just now, confirmed it for me.”
Jeremy smacks his face, “Fuck.”
“So,” Yana squirms in her seat before continuing, “What’s the story between you two?”
“Nothing. I mean,” Jeremy sighs, “Look, we’re friends, okay? But sometimes we get more intimate than that.”
“You’re saying it’s casual?”
“Exactly,” Jeremy leans his head against the window, looking off as he explains, “We started maybe half a year ago. We were out on a roundup and it just happened. We agreed to keep it between us and not take it too seriously. Obviously nobody was supposed to find out, especially Laurelai Radison.”
“So she’s not full of shit? She really caught you two?” Yana sounds genuinely surprised.
“Basically, yeah,” Jeremy grumbles, that night feeling like a lifetime ago.
There’s a short silence that falls between them, Jeremy not eager to continue the conversation. Gently, Yana breaks the silence, “You know, Barry’s a really great guy.”
Jeremy wallows in that, realizing now that so much has come to pass since the last time he’s seen Barry. He presses his forehead against the glass, saying, “Yeah, he is.”
“I’ve been spending more time with him, keeping up with him in case he’d heard from you, and he’s been really down lately. I bet he’s ate up about you,” Yana shares.
“What makes you think that?” Jeremy could laugh, not thinking that his and Barry’s relationship warranted such an emotional toll.
There’s another pregnant pause and Jeremy looks over. Yana chewing on her cheek, blinking rapidly as she finally says, “Because I know how he feels. I… I liked you. For a really long time, actually.”
Jeremy raises his brow, “Woah.”
“Yeah,” she sniffs hard and swipes at her eye, clearing her throat, “God, I feel so dumb now.”
“Yana, I am so sorry,” Jeremy sits up, reaching over and patting her on the shoulder, “Our friendship does mean a lot to me, though.”
She tries on a weak smile and nods, “Yeah, me too.”
Jeremy glances out the windshield as Yana flicks on her turn signal to change lanes, getting closer to their exit. Then, she adds, “So don’t go breaking anymore hearts now.”
Chewing on that, Jeremy wonders if that’s possible.
He always had the suspicion that Barry liked him in a more intense way than Jeremy felt.
Barry was a good pal and even better lover, but sometimes it felt like Barry wanted the boyfriend experience.
Not like Jeremy could give that to him anyway; he’d never been in a real relationship with a man, wasn’t planning on starting with a coworker.
But he owes it to Barry to tell him about Merle at the very least. Hopefully that won’t make any waves.
He nods and tells his friend, “I’ll do my best.”
Hardly home, Jeremy’s already making promises he’s not sure he can keep.
A week has passed since Jeremy’s return and he hasn’t been able to even get in a hello to Barry.
Jose made some kissy faces at him to get Steve to laugh, but besides that the effects of the rumor Laurelai had spread hardly touch Jeremy.
What’s eating him is Barry’s obvious efforts to avoid him.
He’s not granted a single opportunity to apologize or explain himself since each time he starts to approach Barry, the ranch hand turns tail and runs.
Somehow, the six day work week feels a lighter load than working on set.
Perhaps it’s because he’s more used to the tasks, everything a lot more expected.
He had missed Asher, the faithful horse giddy to work with him once more, although the distant memory of Kau calls to him somewhere across the sea.
The thoroughbred will forever retain a special place in his heart.
Jeremy works through his day off, slowly riding Asher along the perimeter of the fencing to ensure no breaks in the line.
As he rides, Jeremy mulls over his fateful day on the shore with Clark and how Jeremy had rejected him.
He bites down on the inside of his cheek until it bleeds, smokes every last one of his cigarettes, and considers quitting Willmaker Ranch for the umpteenth time.
Maybe Eneki would still take him, Jeremy living it up in Oahu and horse wrangling for the stars.
Riding under the Colorado sun, the harsh rays don’t warm him as he can still see his breath in front of his face.
Chilled to the bone and grumpy, Jeremy figures he’s squandered every good opportunity he’s ever gotten.
On Monday, Jeremy’s got a roundup in the eastern valley. He enters the stable and is fitting his gloves on his hand as he brushes past Marie, greeting her shortly, “Morning.”
She giggles aggressively.