Chapter Nine
“GO ON NOW!” Jeremy yells to Asher as the chute’s gate opens and he bursts through.
The calf Steve let loose in the arena is only a yard ahead of Jeremy storming forward, lasso above his head.
He swings and loops the calf down to the ground.
Hopping off Asher, he wrangles the calf to its back and wraps its legs in half a second.
He raises his hands in the air and turns to the ranch hands and Yana.
“Ow! Now that’s how you get it done,” Jose claps, whistling with his teeth.
Jeremy carries the calf back over to the ranch hands and hands it off, saying, “Again.”
“C’mon man, ain’t gonna get much better,” Jackie spits on the ground, showing him the stopwatch.
“She’s not wrong, Munday,” Yana leans forward on the post, “And you’ve got Asher beat. Give her a break.”
“Psst,” Steve gets their attention, chin tilting up toward the barn doors, “Your boyfriend’s here.”
Jeremy looks behind him and Barry is approaching. Yana clears her throat and says, “Alright, I think that’s our cue.”
“What? You guys don’t want to air out your dirty laundry again?” Jose rolls his eyes as he hops over the gate and heads to the exit.
“Good luck,” Yana says in Jeremy’s ear, patting him on the shoulder. She touches Barry’s hand as she passes him, but the ranch hand’s eyes are set on Jeremy.
“Hey,” Barry greets softly.
“Hey,” Jeremy leans against the post, hat tilted down.
“So yesterday,” Barry pauses, using his hands to talk, “That was crazy.”
Jeremy nods, putting his hands in his pockets.
Barry shakes his head, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a history with Clark like that?”
“I did,” Jeremy rolls his shoulders back.
“No, you told me you two used to be friends. That’s it,” Barry’s brow scrunches.
“Okay, he kissed me once when we were younger. But he took it back, and I never forgot about it,” Jeremy admits.
Barry pinches the bridge of his nose, wondering aloud, “I just don’t understand why you would tell some random guy that before me.”
“Well, he asked me why I didn’t like kissing. So I told him. That’s why. I didn’t do it maliciously.”
Sitting with that for a moment, Barry searches Jeremy’s closed off face before asking, “Alright. I get it. But where’s your head at now?”
“I don’t know,” Jeremy sighs, “In a thousand places. But one thing’s for sure.”
“What’s that?” Barry shifts his weight closer to Jeremy.
Jeremy looks him square in the eye and tells him, “I’m not staying on Willmaker Ranch.”
Taking long strides forward, Barry infiltrates Jeremy’s space and takes him by the shoulders, saying, “Let’s leave together. Just you and me. We don’t need these yuppies.”
Jeremy glances off to the side, “Where would we go?”
“Anywhere! We could go to another ranch, or travel around for a bit,” Barry comes up with a plan on the fly.
Shaking his head, Jeremy isn’t entirely convinced, “You don’t mean that, Barry. You don’t want to give up your job for me.”
“Yes, I do,” Barry’s hand comes to Jeremy’s cheek, tilting his head up to face him, “How long have we been doing this, Jeremy? Six months? That’s a hell of a lot longer than anybody involved here. Don’t you think I actually know how I feel after all this time?”
Jeremy searches Barry’s genuine expression, realizing now how comfortable he’s become being in this close proximity to one another. He nods, “Okay. I believe you.”
“Then also believe me when I say I want to be with you,” Barry’s voice is low, eyes drooping and sincere.
Jeremy knows what to expect next, curious and relaxed enough to let Barry lean down to him and brush his lips against Jeremy’s own.
His eyes slip closed and he really tries.
Jeremy works his lips in rhythm with Barry’s, lets the kiss deepen.
Jeremy truly wants to feel that connection with him.
But there’s nothing, and Jeremy slips away.
Barry keeps his eyes closed a moment longer, squeezing them hard before opening them.
He lightly touches Jeremy’s hands, brings them between them and stares down at his knuckles as he says, “Don’t say anything now.
I want you to think about what I said. But if you’re really leaving no matter what then I am too. ”
“Barry, don’t-”
“No, Jeremy, I’ve made my decision. I can’t imagine working here without you,” Barry takes a steadying breath before continuing, “I’m workin’ the rodeo, I’ll leave right after that. I hope you’ll be there to join me in the end.”
Biting down on his lip, he feels so conflicted and his chest swells with emotion.
He doesn’t want to lose Barry. The ranch hand bends down and lightly kisses Jeremy’s rough knuckles, squeezing the fingertips and then letting go.
He walks away and doesn’t look back. Jeremy’s glad it’s that way, afraid Barry would notice the sole tear that’s dropped from the middle of his eye.
The sun hangs low in the pretty spring sky as Jeremy and Yana venture out of the mess hall with their plates of food.
They’ve been eating dinner outside at the picnic table ever since the public fight, sitting away from the prevalent undertone of gossip.
Yana follows him in solidarity, allowing him a sliver of dignity amongst his coworkers.
Forking a slice of grilled chicken in the brisk outdoor breeze, Sheila is walking off the dirt path and approaches Jeremy at the picnic table. She nods her head to them in greeting, saying, “Munday, you’ve got a visitor.”
Heart throttling to his throat, Jeremy swallows thickly and puts down his fork, asking, “Who?”
“You know damn well who,” she pulls up her jeans on her wide set hips and continues, “Now, you know I don’t want no trouble around here.”
“Did you tell him to leave?” Jeremy ducks his head, ready for a reprimanding.
“No. I didn’t tell Mr. Radison he’s here,” she leans forward, adding, “Yet.”
Jeremy looks over to Yana who raises her brow in surprise. He puts down his eating utensils and stands up. Starting to head for the office, Sheila calls after him, “You’ve got fifteen minutes! No funny business!”
All but running for the head office, the shadows are long against the ground as the sun rapidly sinks and makes the sky colorful in its shaded wake.
Opening the door to the warmly tinted lamp that illuminates the well decorated office, Merle sits in a chair across from Sheila’s desk.
Jeremy steps into the space, heart pounding hard while being bathed in the sunset’s warm light coming through the slatted shades.
Merle stands, smiling at Jeremy and saying, “I couldn’t stay away. I had to come see you.”
Regaining some of his breath, Jeremy responds, “I’m glad you did.”
“Have you given anymore thought to what I said?” Merle steps forward expectantly.
Jeremy shrinks slightly at the intense gaze, nodding, “I have. But I’m still not so sure.”
“I understand, it’s a big decision,” Merle reaches out for Jeremy’s arm, “But you have to admit, it’s kind of exciting.”
Looking over Merle’s sharp features set against his gentle expression, Jeremy can’t help but feel disarmed. He’s spent such little time with Merle but has this urge to trust him. He leans into the touch on his arm, saying, “If it were just you and me then all this would be so much easier.”
Merle casts his eyes downward, “It’s Clark, isn’t it? He made a pretty bold claim the other day.”
Face twisting, Jeremy tells him, “He’s got this hold on me.”
“He’s also a huge mess,” Merle points out, “You and I would have a clean break. We could start a life together. We could leave right now.”
Jeremy glances away, “I can’t now.”
“Why not? What’s stopping us?”
“I can’t just pull the rug from underneath Barry like that,” Jeremy explains.
“That’s the guy that respects your boundaries, right?” Merle nails him, “What’s so special about him?”
Shrugging, Jeremy replies, “I feel really comfortable with him.”
“Comfort isn’t love,” Merle insists.
Peeking back up at Merle, Jeremy asks, “What do you know about love?”
“I know I could get there with you,” Merle responds matter of factly.
“How? How are you so sure?”
Merle’s hand comes up and cups the nape of Jeremy’s neck, pulling him closer as he says, “You tick all my boxes. I feel obsessed. I’d do anything to get you in my bed.”
It’s hard for Jeremy to forget how good of a time he had with Merle on that beach and in his hotel room. He swallows down his accelerated heartbeat and manages to respond, “That does sound nice.”
Merle’s eyes soften, flicking down to Jeremy’s mouth.
Leaning forward, Jeremy can’t think twice about whether this is smart of him before they’re kissing.
Their lips slide together and Merle’s tongue quickly tests the waters, licking at Jeremy’s lips and into his mouth.
Jeremy pretends like he’s kissing Clark and it fools his heart for only a moment.
He still thinks it could work with Merle, though, as long as they never kiss.
Tongues circling around each other briefly, Merle slips his mouth away and smiles fondly.
“Pack your bags, babe,” Merle says, the hand on his neck caresses the short hairs there, “We can leave tonight.”
His head suddenly hurts, hating the idea of leaving like that. He shakes his head, “No, I have the rodeo this weekend.”
“You do? You’re competing?” Merle sounds interested.
“Yeah,” Jeremy admits.
Merle leans forward, “Can I come?”
Mind fuzzy and unable to think up a reason why not, Jeremy says, “Of course.”
His eyes look over Jeremy’s shoulder, taking a step back as he says, “Ah, our time is up. Your manager is almost here.”
Breath lost, Jeremy steps forward once more and asks desperately, “When you saw Clark and I hanging out on set, how did we look?”
“Look?”
Jeremy nods.
“The truth?” Merle chews on his lip for a moment before answering, “Happy. Which was weird, I’d never seen Clark Radison smile like that. You know, he’s kind of got a reputation for being stubborn. But you always were able to butter him up.”