CHAPTER SEVEN
VIGGO RASSMUSSEN
People are never what they seem.
BUD LEROY
How about vampires? ’Cause, seems to me, you’re a bloodthirsty monster.
Vampire Falls. Season five, episode twelve – “Blood’s Thicker Than Disorder”
We walk into Conference Hall A, the familiar hum of the convention brightening my mood, like the irresistible minx it is.
Any true Vampire Falls fan should have a masquerade costume knocking around, due to the season one finale, “Masquerade Brawl”, and Roxy and I are no exception.
My tea-length dress is emerald green, with gold piping and a matching eye mask, and Roxy’s wearing a harlequin-style cat suit and eye mask.
We have chosen not to drench ourselves in fake blood, but lots of others have in homage to that episode. Total bloodbath.
“Where’s Iris?” I say, looking across the rows of chairs as we walk down the aisle. “Has she messaged you?”
Roxy doesn’t stop or answer me.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I say, hurrying to her side. Her forehead is tight under her mask. My blood runs cold. “Oh shit, is it because of Charlie Chamberlain? Did she see him and leave immediately?”
“God, Eliza! Not everything is about Charlie fucking Chamberlain and not everyone hates him like you do.” She takes a breath. “Iris isn’t coming.”
“What?” I say, swallowing.
“Sorry, babe.”
“No Iris? I . . . I . . .” I drop onto a banquet chair, grateful to the person dressed as McKinley the Pessimistic Werewolf for scooching along just in time. “I thought it would be the three of us? Me, you and Iris?”
“I know,” she says, biting the inside of her cheek.
Iris has been the third leg of our tripod or, more accurately, the mediator between me and Roxy when Roxy’s had enough of my behaviour. I can be a bit of a handful, so it’s really a two-person job. Also, Iris does our cosplay make-up.
I slump against my werewolf neighbour. The fur is comforting. Suddenly, whoever’s inside clears their throat.
“Sorry,” it says.
“Don’t apologise,” I say, looking into his vacant glass eyes. “It’s not your fault she’s not here.”
“No, I mean . . .” He clears his throat. “You’re sitting on my tail.”
I roll my eyes and turn back to Roxy.
“I can’t believe she’s not here,” I say, sinking into the chair. “Everything is changing.”
“Sometimes change is good,” offers Fake McKinley, shrugging (as much as you can in a werewolf costume).
Sometimes change can be good. Who is this joker? I glare at him then turn back to Roxy, who is patting my hand patiently.
“Sorry, babe. Just us two this time.”
I look at her fingers over my own, her silver rings shining under the artificial lights, and I realise I’m looking at the lack of Iris all wrong. My heart flutters with best-friend-all-to-myself joy.
“Just us two!” I say, squeezing Roxy’s hand. “This could be perfect, Roxy!”
“You don’t have to sound so gleeful about it.”
“Not gleeful,” I say, shaking my head, “just . . . glee half full. It’s like our first time here, minus my mum, obviously. It’ll be amazing, Roxy. You know, sometimes change can be good.”
“Right,” she says, folding her arms and glancing at the werewolf I’m sitting next to.
He shrugs and Roxy opens her mouth to say something else, but the lights dim, so she shoves me into him and sits down. Red light flashes across the stage, and the Vampire Falls theme booms through the speakers. I love this part.
“Sorry . . .” says Fake McKinley.
“Shhh!” I hiss.
“But you’re still on my tail.”
“Yes!” we shout.
“I said, are you ready to celebrate Vampire Falls?!”
“Yes!” we scream.
“Then welcome our organiser, MC for the weekend, owner of Mirror Events and ultimate nerd . . . Felix Hutson!”
Felix jogs onto the stage and we don’t care that he’s just announced his own self. We scream and clap for him as he stops in front of the mic and unbuttons the jacket on his signature checked suit (a blue one this year, the same colour as his hi-top fade), waving at everyone.
“Are you ready to fall in love with our Vampire Falls guests?” he asks, which is of course a rhetorical question.
The noise dials up a few notches and my palms are numb from slapping them together, but I’m soaring into such a euphoric state that I feel no pain. You can feel the good vibes bouncing around Conference Hall A, a truly mystical place.
Felix starts with the guests who are further down the alphabet than some.
You know, those guys who are on the convention circuit because they’ve been showing up under layers of prosthetics since the dawn of time.
Don’t get me wrong, they have no less right to be here than the A-listers; they are the foundations on which conventions are built and Felix introduces them with the vigour they very much deserve.
First, we have Clayton Tusk, who smiles widely and blows kisses as he comes on, his long hair co-ordinated with a pair of grey cowboy boots. He has the record for most characters played in the show, appearing as Kip the Bartender, Eudoff Grost and Krugg the Scavenger.
He’s joined by Sage Howard, owner of the most amazing cheekbones I’ve ever seen in real life, who played Goddess Bydora in season three.
Kawata Hisashi, who played the principal both before and after he was possessed by a Hangorth demon, comes on next.
Dax St. James (Whitlock Abrahams, a sorcerer and one of the vertices of the Whitlock/Juliana/Viggo love triangle) comes on next, his arms open wide making his six-foot frame even bigger. He turns a stumble into Felix into a hug for Felix, but Rxy and I share a knowing look; he’s already drunk.
Orlando Wilde, who plays Lila Murphy’s best friend, Bud Leroy, comes on next, waving at the audience, then hugs the other guests before he sits down.
Roxy grabs my hand when Amber Anderson strides on stage next, her legs impossibly long but the only ones that could fill the boots of Juliana the Demon Huntress.
There’s just one chair left up on the stage, and I have plenty in the tank to welcome the final guest. We all do. I throw my arms around Roxy’s waist.
“Thank you for making me stay,” I shout in her ear. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” she says, putting her arm around me.
“Now . . . get ready to fall in love at first bite,” whispers Felix, like he’s sharing a secret. “Would you like to meet our final guest?”
Wild. We are wild with excitement, and we don’t care who knows it.
“I said . . .” he says, louder this time.
Nobody can hear him as we’re screaming for our guestand our show and our fandom and our love for it all. I can see his lips moving and l know when someone is saying my favourite actor’s name without me hearing a word. We all know.
Felix opens his arms and steps back as Damon Van Schwartz jogs on, his black shirt the same shade as his hair. He looks out at us with a big, humble smile on his face and puts his hands together in prayer. The screaming and clapping continue, even when he raises his hand for us to stop.
We slowly quieten down, ready to hear his smooth voice. He leans into the mic and lifts a hand to his brow, looking out at the audience. We all straighten up in our seats so he can see us properly. I’m so happy right now I could actually straddle someone and kiss them all over.
“Now, let’s get down to some important business,” he says, his eyes sparkling in the spotlights. “Is Charlie Chamberlain here?”