Chapter 23
CASSIDY
“Let me sit down, and I’ll explain,” I said the moment we stepped inside my house.
Briar merely hummed a distant agreement, her voice strained. The pure, undeniable stupefaction spread upon such gentle features morphed tighter and tighter the closer we got to the house.
No matter how much the world spun in my head, no matter how dizzying things felt, I’d been the idiot to explode and spill something that should’ve waited until tomorrow. Something I should have shared when my mind was clearer. But holding that secret once it hit me weighed heavier than the rock knocking constantly against my skull. And she needed to know now.
“I’ll tell you how I know, and then we can figure the rest out tomorrow. That’ll give you time to think through things,” I muttered some sort of reassurance that most likely did nothing, stumbling toward the kitchen. The moment my hands found a barstool, I plopped myself down onto the wood and leaned forward, placing my forehead against the cool counter.
“You’re in actual pain, Cassidy,” she whispered as her body heat washed up next to my side. The stool beside me grated across the floor, and I heard her gently sit down.
“Did Rooney ever tell you how I left?” I began.
“No, it never really came up,” she answered, her voice tender and quiet, though once again, there was fear coating her words.
“His truck broke down one night. I honestly don’t even remember what part he needed, but I let him borrow my truck so he could go pick it up in town. I guess your dad thought that meant I wasn’t there, so he came a knockin’,” I paused and slowly lifted my head from the counter. Blinking through the haze at Briar’s beautiful features, a sigh left my lips. “I still remember the shock on his face when I answered the door, because he wasn’t expecting it to be me. He introduced himself to me as Thomas, that was it. Didn’t tell me why he came looking for Rooney, either, and quickly left, but not before I noticed the sticker on his truck. It read Kensington Cattle.”
Briar looked away from me, some blonde hair spilling out from the bonnet still wrapped around her head. She didn’t open her mouth, didn't say anything, so I continued. “I let Rooney know that his neighbor came looking for him, but didn’t think much about it for a few days. Until I realized I’d heard that last name before. I was young, quite young, around four or five when I first heard it. I remembered a woman who my mom invited to the ranch for dinner one day. She’d just moved into town, and my mom likes to be in the center of everything, so it was only fitting to have this stranger over. Being as little as I was, I didn’t really pay attention to why she moved there or what not, but I remembered thinking she looked like Sleeping Beauty with her pretty, blonde hair.”
A single tear slid down Briar’s cheek.
“Anyway, with it being a rather unique last name, I made the connection rather quickly. The day after I put the name on Thomas’s truck sticker and the last name of the lady from my childhood together, I called my mom just wanting to joke about how crazy of a coincidence that was. Suddenly, I found myself graduating without completely finishing schooling and on my way home. Just like that. No one said a word about it either when I returned to the ranch, and anytime I’d ask questions about the sudden departure from Rooney’s or the last name, they’d shut it down. Like they were protecting her or helping her hide something.” I studied the girl beside me, the silence and tears were the only evidence of how much pain this was causing her, but I could see how much she needed me to continue.
“You didn’t tell me your last name because you were worried I’d turn you in for Sundance, right?” I hesitantly asked. She nodded but said nothing, confirming my suspicions that she’d never even doubted her father’s story about her mother dying during childbirth. “Well, tonight, when my dad told me I had to stay behind, he looked as if he was about to explain a little more, and then I heard you walk into the room. The last time he was that short with me, I had been an idiot teenager.”
Sighing, I entwined my fingers together, setting my hands on the counter. “This stupid concussion is really pissing me off because things that would normally just click are taking forever for me to put together. I should’ve figured it out faster, but something like this, even I wasn’t sure I believed at first, because in what world is a story like this real? But my parents learned your last name at the accident just as I did. Weston and Tenley heading to the hospital had to have been the triggering event that connected everything together for them.”
“And you and I wouldn’t have run into her at the hospital after the crash because my mom is in labor and delivery, not in the emergency room,” Briar whispered. Another tear slid down her cheek, and she placed her chin in her hands, resting her elbows on the counter.
“Exactly. And they knew that even if they drove me to the hospital, I would want you to come with me while we all waited for updates on Tenley.” I watched her, unsure of what I could do that wouldn’t overwhelm her. Every bone in my body screamed at me to reach out and comfort her, to touch her, to offer her some sort of physical reassurance that everything was going to be fine. But we were in a weird place right now.
And her processing the fact that her mom was actually still alive was more important than anything else going on between us. Which was also something that I couldn’t help with.
“Thank you for telling me,” she suddenly stated and slid down from the stool. I didn’t say a word as she disappeared into her bedroom without a backward glance and gently shut the door.
I waited. I don’t know how long I waited for her to come back out, but she never did.
Eventually, I found my way into my room and plopped down on the mattress—where I waited some more. I had no idea what I would say or do to help her. The emotions that she had to be feeling, the thoughts that had to be consuming her were things I would never understand.
So, I simply waited. Not just for her, but for any update from my family.
And was met with silence on both fronts, leading me into a very restless sleep.
∞∞∞
My knuckles hovered in front of her bedroom door. Still no sound had come from the tomb of desolation she’d committed herself to last night. Maybe she didn’t want anyone to disturb her, but I also didn’t want her to feel so alone with such burdensome news. If she needed to hate someone, be mad at someone, I would accept that cruel fate in a heartbeat.
That would be better than her blaming herself, or even her father, for whatever the reason was that this secret had been kept. She was not at fault, and I had to believe that her father kept it from her to protect her. I had to believe that. The man she talked about—the man that raised such an incredible, feisty, beautiful woman—wouldn’t have subjected her to such destruction on purpose.
Slowly, I lowered my fist. Interrupting her morning wouldn’t do any good, would it? This wasn’t even my burden, yet I felt as if I was helplessly drowning in the pain that must be consuming her.
Knock, Cassidy. Even if she didn’t answer the door, letting her know that I was here would help, wouldn’t it? Closing my eyes, I willed my hand to raise and rapped my knuckles against her door frame.
Silence.
Not a creak of a floorboard or the gentle squeak of her bed frame met my ears.
“Hey, Goldie,” I gently said through the door. “Uh, just thought I’d let you know my parents texted. Tenley’s been stabilized, and the baby is supposed to be here any minute.” Pausing, hoping that at least a grunt of acknowledgement would arrive at my ears, I waited.
Yet there was still nothing. Running my fingers through my hair as the silence settled heavy on my heart, my tongue moved once again, letting words pass my lips as if on their own. “There’s bacon and pancakes waiting in the fridge for whenever you’re up and going. I’m gonna go take care of chores and then see if I can rope one of the hands into helping me move panels for Sundance’s round pen.”
Still not a sound as I pressed my ear against her door.
Sighing, I adjusted my belt. “And don’t worry, I know what you’re going to say. I won’t drive the tractor. My head’s not much better but the pain meds are helping. Anyway, take all the time you need. I wrote my number down on a piece of paper that’s sitting on the counter. If I have service and you call…” My voice trailed off as I closed my eyes. There wasn’t a single noise indicating that she was listening or had heard what I was saying.
“I’m here, Goldie,” I whispered, tugged my hat low over my head, and headed out for the day.
Time was nonsensical as I worked through morning chores. Despite telling Briar that I would rope a hand into helping me, my entire soul begged for it to be her. Everything in me hoped that she would leave her room and come join me, instead of one of the guys. Weston wouldn’t want the already spread thin hands helping me on a side project when there was much to do around the ranch anyway.
But I also told her I wouldn’t be driving the forklift. So instead, I found myself working Sundance around the round pen, lost in thoughts about the insanity that life had become in just a few weeks.
As I laid the rope gently over his back, he snorted but didn’t flinch, which was a nice improvement. I then quickly slid it down from the horse and scratched his nose. His tongue flicked out, licking my wrist as a sigh escaped my chest.
There was no way I’d ever be able to fathom what she was feeling, dealing with, having to process. On top of some guy being after her—though we’d done a good job evading him up to this point—to find out that her mother was alive after believing for her entire life that she had died…
Words to make sense of it all did not form in my mind as my fingers mindlessly trickled up and down Sundance’s face.
“What happened to getting a hand to help?” Briar’s honey-silk voice pierced my muddied thoughts. Glancing over my shoulder, I tracked her down to the edge of the round pen, surprised but happy to see her.
“That hand I was hopin’ for was you,” I casually replied, ignoring the bubbling of concern and desire to ask her if she was alright. A hesitant smile lifted on my lips, and she braced against the railing and plunked her chin down on her arms.
“How about after, we talk over some lunch?” she cautiously asked, her doe eyes widening.
“You know just the way to a man’s heart,” I lightly teased and turned back to Sundance, untying his halter.
“It’s just sandwiches, so don’t get your hopes up,” she answered, immediately shutting me down. But it also wasn’t an outright rejection.
I should’ve held my tongue, should’ve waited until we were back at my house, but I couldn’t. “How are you handling everything?” I blurted out and slipped the halter off Sundance.
The moment my eyes met her, I regretted asking. Tears welled up in the gray gaze that held overwhelming emotions.
Immediately, I hung the halter on the side of the railing and darted through the gate. Rushing around the side of the round pen, I ignored all caution that she’d thrown toward me and wrapped my arms around her. As I cradled her head against my body, cocooning her within whatever minimal strength I had at the moment, she sobbed.
The world spun around me, dizzy from the rapid movements that I took to reach her, but I ignored it. “I’m sorry, Goldie, I should’ve waited to ask,” I whispered against her head and buried my face in her hair.
“Why do you have to go and do this?” she mumbled against my chest.
“Do…Do what?” I hesitantly asked.
“I should hate you. I shouldn’t want to be comforted by you, but I can’t help it. I can’t help the fact that no matter how hard I try, I seek you out when I’m feeling upset. Those five days where we barely talked sucked, even though it was my choice to push you away and shut you out.” Her sobs increased, and her body trembled against mine.
“I’m sorry?” I replied, more as a question than anything else, and she manically chuckled between her cries.
“I don’t like you.” She slid a hand out from against my chest and lightly slugged me against my arm. “And I don’t want to meet my mom. I feel like I’ve hardly had any say in my life, in what has happened since coming here, but this, I do have a choice in.”
My entire body stiffened, tightening around her thin frame. “You sure that’s what you want?”
She nodded against my chest, not moving away from my body as she pulled her arm back between us. “She abandoned my dad and I. The people that care, that are worth my time are around, so yes, I don’t want to see her.”
Pressing my lips against the top of her head, soaking in the silky feel of her beautiful hair she’d braided back once again, I nodded slowly. “Whatever you need, Goldie,” I whispered, and her fingers suddenly fisted the front of my shirt.
“Lunch first, then let’s move Sundance,” she quickly said.
“Sandwiches sound perfect.” Cupping her cheeks that were soft against my calloused hands, I gently pried her away from my chest and placed my lips against her forehead. She didn’t open her eyes and didn’t pull away from the kiss.
Warm and tender, I prayed that her heart would somehow eventually mend.