Chapter 31
CASSIDY
Somehow, paramedics showed up just in time.
Somehow, I explained to some officers what happened.
Somehow, I ended up at the hospital.
Somehow, I sat in the most uncomfortable chair and waited.
Rooney arrived at one point.
The rest of my family came next.
But somehow, that didn’t change the fact that Briar’s condition was unstable and still unknown.
Food and water became nothing to me.
I didn’t care about anything else or what anyone else told me.
The clock ticked steadily onward yet nothing changed.
Briar’s injury from the fatal slam of Sundance’s hoof may be too much for her.
Weston let me know he found the stallion and got him back into the round pen at some point.
Briar remained in critical condition.
Somehow, I eventually found myself beside a bed where she lay, dressed in one of those awful hospital gowns. Unconscious but at least alive.
Eventually, it was just me at this hospital, listening to the steady beeping of her heart.
Alive.
She was alive, but the doctors said the amount of nerve damage done to her spinal column could possibly be life altering.
They wouldn’t know the extent of the damage until she woke up.
But she was alive.
Once in a while, family would drop by.
And at some point, even the woman who gave birth to her showed up.
But it was a good thing Weston happened to be there at that moment, or I would’ve been the reason another patient was admitted to this hospital.
She woke up maybe a week later. But the moment her eyes opened, a scream unlike anything I’d heard before left her beautiful lips. The doctors immediately put her into a medically induced coma, explaining that the pain was so excruciating for her, that without rest, her body wouldn’t have a chance to heal.
My head bobbed, gently bumping against the hard mattress that had been Briar’s resting place for over two weeks now. The medically induced coma ended this morning since the most recent scan of her spine offered some indication that healing had begun and gave the doctors hope. Now, it was a matter of her waking up on her own.
And without the agonizing pain like before.
Exhaustion filled even the deepest crevice of my bones. All I wanted was to see those beautiful gray eyes once more.
And to be able to tell her how sorry I was. Sundance had not been ready for any of that, but I thought…
“You idiot,” I grumbled to myself and uttered a few curse words under my breath. This was an appropriate time for the use of them and completely worth the money I now owed Weston. But it didn’t make me feel any better.
I was the reason that she was here. My inability to control my rage for Wayde had left her lying in the dirt, injured so severely that if the police hadn’t been on their way from my concealed phone call, she would’ve likely died.
My fault.
Another string of swear words directed toward me left my mouth.
“Don’t say that about yourself,” a hoarse but incredibly perfect-sounding voice muttered.
And my entire body became as light as a feather. Shooting my head up from the mattress, relief, indescribable joy filled the tortured hole that had been left in my chest as her eyes fluttered open and her gaze met mine.
“Hey, Goldie,” I said, quickly wiping some of the wet trail on my cheeks away with my palm.
A tight smile spread across her lips. “What happened? I remember grabbing Sundance’s lead rope and then…”
“It was my fault,” I whispered and leaned forward, pressing my lips against her forehead. “I’m so sorry. I thought Sundance could handle things, but it was too much for him too soon, and he ended up striking you right in the back while he reared. I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”
“Oh, Cassidy,” she muttered and raised a shaky hand. Her calloused skin rested against my cheek. Sinking into her touch, I briefly closed my eyes, keeping my lips against her forehead. “It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have tried to stop him. We could’ve found him later. I just…I just never meant for you to get in the middle of things.”
Shaking my head, I smiled against her skin. “I had no issue being in the middle of things.”
“You are everything, Cassidy Duke,” she answered, slipping her fingers through my hair.
“By the way, the woman who birthed you stopped by, but I kicked her out. If you want—”
“Yes. I want to see her,” Briar immediately stated, twisting her hold on my tresses even tighter.
Ignoring the sting that clung to the roots of my hair, I pressed my lips to her forehead again. “But you said you didn’t want to?”
“Things have changed,” she quietly began. “She left me. Abandoned me. I deserve answers, and I’m so tired of feeling like I’m not the strong woman that my dad raised me to be. Facing her, a person who to me died twenty-eight years ago, will give me some of that control back. You’ve protected me since the day I arrived here. But you also believe that I’m strong, so let me be that strong woman please,” she answered.
“Okay,” I muttered. “Okay.”
Silence befell us as we remained wrapped up with each other. The closure that she needed with the woman who gave birth to her would come soon, and I was so proud of her. That defiance, that strength was what I wanted everyone in the world to see.
Shifting the subject to something more joyous, I spoke. “I also wanted to let you know that Wayde won’t bother you for a long, long time.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, for one, I beat the living tar out of him.” I pulled away from her and sat back down in the chair beside the white hospital bed. Sunlight poured in through the window opposite me; the constant sterile smell lingered in the bright air that was slowly beginning to fill with hope.
“Good,” she replied, her smile widening as relief filled the features of a woman I cared for so deeply. “And two?”
“Well, I dialed the police before he confessed, and they heard it all. So, he’s in jail. I felt horrible for playing into his game and trying to feed his ego—”
“But it totally worked!” She cut me off with a smile and looked up at the speckled ceiling.
“It did. I’m glad you caught on.”
“I trust you, Cassidy Duke. And I’ve never met someone as smart as you, so I figured you were playing an angle,” she answered. Her hand lifted, and she brushed her fingers over the silk bonnet wound around her hair. “Uh, what is this?”
“Your bonnet, Goldie. You think I wasn’t going to bring that to make sure your hair was protected?”
A light giggle left her lips. “Are you saying you like my hair even though it’s unusual?”
Leaning back in the chair, I threaded my fingers through her hand that was closest to me. “I’m surprised you’re even asking such a question after that shower we took together,” I teased, and she clicked her tongue.
“You should keep that to yourself,” she chastised.
“Oh yeah, I’m keeping all of you for myself.” I offered her a wink, and she gave me her infamous eye roll.
“By the way, did Doc find anything?” she asked, and I swiped my thumb up and down her hand. Bliss. Absolute bliss filled my soul. I should probably go let the doctor know she was awake, but I wasn’t quite ready for our privacy to end. Not just yet.
I nodded. “Yeah. The soil samples he took showed unusually high levels of sodium chlorate. Plus, the police were able to get and execute a search warrant quickly because of the recorded call and found the tubs that Wayde mentioned. Then the lab got back with results, and every one of your cattle had elevated levels.”
A tear slid down her cheek as the smile fell from her face. “I should’ve paid better attention. Or monitored them better. Or called the vet sooner. Or—”
“Or what? Goldie, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Wayde would’ve just found a different way. He’s not stupid. He’s also not the smartest guy in the world, but he was smart enough to do what he did. So, you’ve gotta let go of the ‘what if’s,’ okay?” Reaching forward, I swept the tear away from her cheek, the softness of her skin a sharp contrast to my roughened palm.
“Besides,” I continued when she didn’t say anything. “If it hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t have shown up at the ranch. We would’ve never met, and that would’ve been the real travesty in all of this.”
Her lips twitched, a smile threatening to join the show. “Even though I was mean to you?”
“It was your defense mechanism. Besides, I like some fight in my woman,” I answered.
She nodded, sniffing, and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m still your girl?” she questioned.
“Of course.”
“Even if I’m never able to ride horses again?” she added quietly, worry staining her gentle features.
“Why would you not be able to ride again?” I asked, my brows pulling together.
“Cassidy,” she whimpered, her face immediately twisting in terror. A stark, shocking difference from just a moment before.
“What is it?” Scanning her figure, my brows narrowed.
“Cassidy, I can’t…” She gasped. Each inhale she took was shaky and the heart rate monitor ticked up. “I can’t move my legs. I can’t…I can’t move my legs.”
And all that peace that had momentarily filled me jetted away in an instant.
My fault.
The doctors had warned me that this was a possibility, but I guess I was too selfish and too in denial to truly accept it. Yet here we were.
Anguish tore me to pieces. My own, selfish thought that I could have both her and the horse landed her in this position. I did not deserve her.
“Let me go get the doctor,” I said, doing everything to hide the hollowness I was consumed by. She needed me to be strong, and I released her hand.
“Cassidy!” she cried out as I turned away, ready to leave.
“You need to see the doctor,” I answered, keeping my heart numb to the shattering glass falling by my own hand.
“Cassidy Duke, don’t leave me!” she hoarsely shouted.
That froze me in my tracks, nailing me to the white tile that squeaked beneath my leather soles. Slowly, I turned back around and forced a reassuring smile on my lips. “I’m only going to get the doctor, okay?”
Her head violently shook back and forth. “I need you,” she cried out.
I needed her, too, more than anything else that existed in this world.
Closing my eyes, my chin slumped against my chest. “I should’ve noticed you were hurt sooner,” I finally admitted.
“No, you were protecting me from the very man who caused all of this.”
“Briar, I—”
“You’re going to get your butt back over to the side of this bed, kiss me, then you can go get the doctor, and we will go from there, okay?” She quickly cut me off.
A smile tugged at the edges of my lips. Her plan reminded me of what I said to her at the rodeo. “I’m sorry we missed the honky tonk,” I gently replied.
“Well, if you don’t hurry back on over here, it’ll take longer for the doctor to show up and, therefore, longer before we find out when you get to eventually take me to one,” she teased. Slowly, I spun on my heels and looked at the very woman who held my heart in her hands.
“I don’t deserve you, you know that, right?” I said, walking back toward her.
“Yeah, I know that, but I also don’t like you. You know that, right?” she added with a twinkle in her eyes.
I chuckled, bending forward and placing a hand on either side of her head against the mattress. “I promise I’m not going anywhere, Goldie,” I whispered.
Nodding, she reached up and cupped my cheeks. “Good.”
“Stay,” I quietly blurted out as everything swelled warm within me. We could weather every storm, figure out what was going to happen next. All I needed was her in my life. I needed her. I leaned down toward her; her brows twitched.
“Stay where?” she asked.
“With me. You can keep your property or sell it, but I don’t want you to go. So, stay with me at the ranch.”
“For how long?”
“How long would you like?” My lips brushed against hers as she crinkled her nose in delight.
“Okay,” she agreed and then kissed me. Gently and passionately, her lips worked for only a brief moment against mine as reality settled in.
Pulling away, she sighed as I kept my eyes locked onto her gaze. “Cassidy, what if…”
“What if you can’t walk ever again?” I finished for her, knowing exactly what had cut our bliss short, and she nodded.
“Then I’ll carry you wherever I can, and I’ll make you a saddle so you can ride the rest of the time. But no what ifs. Not yet. Let’s just see what the doctors have to say,” I gently answered and kissed her one more time.