38. Celine
Celine
I’ve been spending all my free time in the library. It’s the perfect hiding spot because everyone is so scared of Sister Greta that they won’t set foot in here. I’ve been wanting to steer clear of Joanna, and I haven’t wanted to see Father Keaton since that night he caught us in Alex’s room.
Sister Greta surprisingly hasn’t minded the company. If I’m being honest, I think a tiny piece of her hard exterior has chipped away because, I swear, she almost smiled when I made a joke earlier. It was faint. Like, super faint, but I caught it.
When I got here after my lesson, I tidied up her office a bit before putting all my focus and energy into the main room.
I’ve been in here for a few hours, taking breaks to stand by the open window and breathe in the fresh air.
Yes, Sister Greta finally let me open a window for once.
That small allowance is another reason why I think she is starting to tolerate me.
I stare out the window, watching people pass by the convent as they go about their lives and begin to feel a desperate need for social interaction beyond this place.
I’ve called Amelia and Vince a few more times, but out of fear of being caught—not by Alex, but by Father Keaton—I’ve kept the phone calls to a minimum.
Shutting my eyes, I inhale deeply and pretend that I’m not in the convent library. Instead, I imagine I am in my apartment, overlooking the park across the street.
In my head, I can hear the chatter of people out there, and I like to imagine they are visitors at the park. I miss hearing the daily commotion outside my window.
The laughter of friends and families having picnics. The bark of a dog while it’s playing with another one.
The fantasy is so mundane, but it fills me with a deep sadness because I long for the normalcy of the life I had outside these walls.
With my eyes still closed, I can feel them burning with tears, and when I open them, I blink the water away, because I don’t want to cry. Inhaling, I roll my shoulders and turn around to find Sister Greta standing there observing me.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
I lift a finger to wipe away a stray tear. “I’m fine. It’s nice of you to ask.”
“I just wondered why you stopped cleaning.”
“Needed a breather,” I tell her with a light chuckle.
She gestures towards my face. “And a good cry, apparently.”
“Sometimes it’s hard being here.” I choose to open up to her, even though she probably doesn’t care to hear. “Going from living my life and then ending up here… It’s turned my whole world upside down.”
“Change is hard.” She nods in agreement. “Why do you think I hate it when people come in here and try to help? I’m used to being alone. It’s been that way for years, so when they try to put one of the women in here to help, I scare them away.”
Her honesty surprises me. “Why am I still here then?”
The sigh that leaves her is filled with annoyance. “Beats me.”
“Thank you for not scaring me away. Being in the library has been the only normalcy I’ve had while being here.” I offer a warm smile. “It’s the only constant I have that’s keeping me sane.”
Well, I have Alex, but she doesn’t need to know that.
“I didn’t want you here,” Greta states harshly, but then surprisingly softens her tone. “But out of all the people they pushed my way, you are the only one who has been working hard. Some of the women came here and just talked my ear off.”
“That must have been horrible,” I joke.
“It was,” she says in all seriousness. “You still talk to me, but it’s manageable.” In a quieter tone, she adds, “And I like the way you clean.”
My hand meets my chest, and I gasp lightly. “Sister Greta! It almost sounds like you are being nice.”
She grunts. “I’ll deny it if you tell anyone.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
The corner of her mouth slightly twitches upward. “Get back to cleaning before I change my mind and kick you out.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“I’m going to grab a snack.” She doesn’t say an official goodbye when she walks out the door, but it doesn’t matter. The interaction between us made my day a little better.
As I start to clean again, I hear footsteps enter the room, and because I think it’s Sister Greta, I ask with a bright tone, “You missed me already that you came back so soon?”
I turn around to find Alex smirking at me. “I did miss you.”
“I thought you were Sister Greta.” My cheeks flush at the sight of him.
“Would you rather it have been her?”
“No.”
“Good.” In three quick strides, Alex closes the distance and crashes his mouth into mine.
His hand wraps around the back of my neck as he holds me in place. He kisses me like he hasn’t seen me in a week when it’s really been a few days. I melt into him before my head clears, and I push him away.
“Sister Greta could come back at any minute.”
“So?” He shrugs, leaning back in.
“So?” My head jolts back. “Who are you and what have you done with Alex?”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and softens his gaze. “I told Father Keaton I’ve decided to leave the church.”
I look at him in disbelief. “What? I thought you were waiting until I left?”
Regret flashes through his eyes. “That was my plan, but during our conversation the other day, it kind of just slipped out.”
Shit.
With me trying to act my ass off and be on my best behavior, I completely forgot about their talk. Between my mother visiting me that day, my lessons the rest of the week, and keeping myself occupied in the library, I’ve barely seen Alex.
Yes, it was partially my fault for not seeing him, but it was also because Father Keaton had been giving him useless tasks to do. And I just know it was to keep him away from me.
“How did it go?”
“I had a few choice words for him.”
“Couldn’t have been as bad as me telling him that he was going to burn in Hell.”
His mouth quirks. “You said that to him?”
I nod with a prideful smile. “And I’d say it again.”
“Well, I didn’t say those things to him, but I think I got my point across.” Alex grabs the fabric around my legs and begins lifting it. “Plus, I’m sick of letting him think he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” I watch as he scrunches the material and dips his hand between my legs. I gasp as he runs his knuckle along my clit. “I thought the plan was to get me out first. What happens when you leave and I’m still here?”
“I’m taking you with me,” he says as he kisses the corner of my mouth. “You’re already so wet for me.”
“What do you mean—” My sentence gets cut off when he starts drawing slow circles. “You—you are taking me with you?”
“When I leave, you leave,” he states with confidence. “After this event he has planned takes place, we are getting out of here.”
“Any more information on the event?” I ask breathlessly. My mind is clouded with lust as he continues at this tedious pace.
“Can we talk about it later?” he asks in desperation. “I haven’t seen you in a while, and I need this.”
Alex’s eyes meet mine as he removes his finger from my clit and dips his hand lower.
“And what is it you need?” I try to keep my voice steady as his finger slides through my slit.
“I need you to come all over my fingers.”
“Right now?” I question, as my eyes leave his to look at the door.
“We agreed that I could take you anywhere at any time, didn’t we?” His hooded eyes grow dark, and I nod. “Then that is exactly what I’m doing.”
Alex slips his finger inside of me and uses unhurried movements, knowing that he is driving me crazy, making me crave more from him. When he adds another finger, my mind drifts deeper into those clouds of lust. At this point, I don’t care if someone were to walk in right now.
We are both leaving, hopefully soon, so would it be so bad if we got caught?
I toss my head back, and he takes the opportunity to bring his lips to my neck, peppering kisses all over my skin until he begins to suck lightly.
My hands meet his shoulders, and my fingers dig into the hard muscle from the sensation.
He abruptly stops, pulling a disappointed groan from me, but I get it.
He can’t leave his mark on me. Not when we are in this place.
His warm tongue glides across the space he had just been focusing on, and it makes my eyes flutter like wings on a butterfly until they close fully.
Alex keeps the movement of his hand slow, as if he were teasing me with the hope of a release. I feel the moment his mouth leaves my neck, and with that disappearance, my skin feels cold.
“Open your eyes, little sin,” he begs.
I do as I’m told and go to meet his gaze, but he is looking down at where his fingers disappear inside of me.
“I wish you could see how well your pussy takes my fingers.” I bite my lips to suppress the sound that wants to leave me due to his filthy words. “One of these days, I’m going to do this to you in front of a mirror. Then you can watch everything.”
The fantasy of him doing this with me in front of a mirror infiltrates my mind. Him sitting behind me, with my legs spread, makes my body grow hotter. Then the image of him fucking me in front of a mirror takes over, and I feel myself clench around his fingers.
“What were you thinking about to make your cunt squeeze my fingers like that?” he asks, lifting his eyes to mine as he awaits my answer.
“You—” I respond breathlessly. “Fucking me in front of a mirror.”
“I’ll be doing that too.” Alex smirks, lifting his free hand to trail a finger along my cheek. “Let you see how pretty you look when your cheeks flush while I bury my cock deep inside of what is mine.”
I detonate at his words, coming all over his fingers as he slaps his hand over my mouth to muffle how I cry out his name.
“Fuck, Celine,” he whispers as his movements slow, until he completely stops his fingers and then carefully removes them.
I’m breathing heavily through my nose while I stare into his eyes. There is no mistaking that his are full of wonder and love. The latter makes my chest swell, and my eyes brim with fresh tears.
Alex takes his hand off my face and brushes a tear away. “Why are you crying?”
I lean into his touch, looking at him with an equal amount of admiration he gave me. “Because although I’m stuck in a place I hate, I’ve never been happier.”
His lip curls upward at my words, but quickly pulls away when he hears the familiar shuffle coming from the hall. Alex creates a distance between us just in time for Sister Greta to enter the library.
“Father Alexander,” she greets him.
“Hello, Sister Greta.” He turns and looks down at the muffin in her hand. “Midday snack?”
“I can never pass up a muffin,” she states.
“They are delicious,” he agrees.
“There weren’t many left,” she warns him. “You should hurry and get one.”
“A snack sounds great.” He looks back at me and winks.
My mouth twists as I try to fight the smirk at what he is insinuating.
“Good,” Sister Greta huffs. “Now leave so Celine can get back to cleaning.”
Alex’s eyebrows shoot up as he watches the old woman walk back to her office. “Did she just kick me out?”
“Sounds like it.” I giggle. “I’m breaking through her thick exterior. She basically told me that I’m tolerable. And that she likes the way I clean.” I poke at his chest and lower my voice. “Go get your snack, Father.”
With a grin, Alex parts his lips and slides the fingers covered in my arousal into his mouth.
He hums in satisfaction, holding my gaze while he cleans me off of him.
My breathing quickens, and in this moment, I want him to bend me over this shelf and take me right here.
I don’t care if Sister Greta is in the other room.
He casually glides his fingers out of his mouth and says, “Just did.”
“And you say I’m trouble.”
“You are.” He smirks. “I’m going to leave before Sister Greta comes out here and physically kicks me out.”
“That would be funny to witness,” I tease. “Maybe you should stay a little longer.”
Stepping forward, Alex pokes my nose. “Trouble.” I swat his hand away with a quiet laugh. “Okay, I’m leaving now.”
Alex begins to walk away, but then something pops into my head. “The event Father Keaton is planning, what is it?”
“He’s been very vague about it.”
“You don’t have any information?”
Inhaling a deep breath, he says, “Just that it is an experience that will bring the women here closer to God.”
“Lovely,” I say sarcastically and then bat my eyes at Alex. “Do I have to go?”
“It’s mandatory. No way of getting out of it.”
My mouth opens to say something else when I hear Sister Greta coming into the main library. Alex’s eyes slide to where she stands, and when I glance over my shoulder, she is giving him a terrifying warning look.
Whipping my head back to him, he dips his head. “I’m going.”
He backs away with his hands raised in defense and spins on his heel to leave the library. When I turn around, Sister Greta is staring at me the same way she was staring at Alex.
“Do you want me to leave as well?”
“No, I want you to get back to cleaning,” she snaps and goes to her office.
With the attitude she gives me, I waste no time getting back to it. As I wipe down shelves and books, my mind works on overdrive as to what Father Keaton has planned for us.