CH 45 - #bittersweet
Riley
NOVEMBER
“HOW ARE THINGS going, BFF?” Macie asked.
“They’re on autopilot. How’s your bliss with Noah?”
“Blissful. I hate to talk about it, considering what you’re going through.”
“It’s okay. It brings me joy knowing you’re happy.”
“I saw Rhys at the grocery store yesterday.”
“And?”
“He avoided me like the plague, and that’s fine. He wouldn’t have liked what I had to say to him anyway. I swear, I could put my foot up his ass.”
“I know, but just leave him alone.”
“Okay,” Macie sighed. “When are you coming back to Cypress Hills to see me?”
“No plans to. I don’t want to chance running into Rhys. Come to Fort Worth and spend the weekend with me.”
“Can I bring Noah?”
I chuckled. “No, but I understand why you’d want to. Y’all are so cute.”
“I met his parents yesterday. They’re amazing like him.”
“Things are getting serious between you and Noah.”
“They are. I caught him looking at engagement rings on his cellphone the other night while we were in his bed. I’d fallen asleep but woke up and looked over at him. He never knew.”
“What kind of engagement rings was he looking at?”
“Ones with big ol’ diamonds.”
“You deserve one of them.”
“Are you still wearing your engagement ring from Rhys?”
“Yes. I started taking it off the other day but stopped myself.”
“Because you’re hanging onto your hope of Rhys realizing how badly he fucked up by letting you go.”
“I guess. I’ll eventually take the ring off. Just not yet,” I said.
“What’d you think about the latest baby-bump pic of Rachel?”
“Oh my gosh, I loved it! That’s my little niece in her belly.”
“ Our little niece, thank you very much.”
I laughed. “Yes, ours .”
“Has anything else been going on with you since we last talked? Anything other than autopilot shit?”
“Yes, but I’m hesitant to tell you about it.”
“Does it have to do with Chad?”
“Yep.”
“Dammit. Did you run into him again?”
“No, I saw him from a distance at the mall. He’s met someone, and they looked happy.”
“Whoever the woman is, I wish her a ton of luck.”
“Macie, Chad went through therapy, and he’s doing well now. I’m happy for him.”
“It’s just hard for me to forgive him for what he did to you.”
“I get that, but we all mess up to different degrees. Look at me with Rhys. The smallest things can cause the biggest catastrophes.”
“You cannot possibly be comparing Chad’s abuse of you to what you and Rhys have been through.”
“I am. Tell me whose sin is greater? Mine or Chad’s?”
“Chad’s is by a landslide. I’d tell Jesus that, too.”
“I’m sure you would.”
“Hey, Noah just got to my apartment.”
“I’ll let you go then. Tell him hello from me.”
“I sure will. Love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Come see me!”
After Macie and I hung up, I poured myself some wine, got into bed, and turned on my TV. As timing would have it, The Notebook was playing. I started to change the channel but couldn’t. So, I grabbed a handful of Kleenex and settled in for the emotional roller coaster ride.
At some point, I fell asleep during the movie and woke up in the middle of the night. My TV had been turned off but not by me.
Still lying in the dark with only the sound of the AC running, my cellphone screen lit up, surprising me. I grabbed it off my nightstand and gasped when I saw Rhys’s sweaty selfie displayed.
“Joseph, I know you just did this,” I said. The goosebumps already covering my body rose up even more. “Please stop sending me reminders of Rhys. There’s no point.”
I swiped away Rhys’s picture and laid my cellphone back down on my nightstand. About a minute later, the screen lit up again. I sighed and grabbed my cellphone once more. This time, my text thread with Rhys was showing. The last entry was: “I love you, mia bella. You’re my everything.”
I stared at it, feeling so fucking sad. Then, I powered off my cellphone, closed my eyes, and prayed to God for a miracle.