Chapter 31 Jane #2
With a huff, Mom stomps off down the hall, her thick heels clacking on the stone.
Dad follows her. Unsure of what else to do, I follow them down the hall and around the corner, past a sign that says GROOM, to a small lounge set up with coffee and sandwiches.
“They set this up for the families, but we’ve been spending the day with the kids, helping them get ready and making last-minute preparations.” He frowns. “So what did you need to talk to us about?”
I blink, stunned. “Haven’t you seen…the article?”
Mom lets out a shriek, then sinks onto one of the chairs, holding a handkerchief to her forehead.
“We’re not talking about that today; it will just upset your mother,” Dad says. “Now, if you’re ready to repent, that’s another conversation—”
“Repent?” I ask, on a laugh. I should have expected this, but his audacity still shocks me a little. “Are you serious right now?”
Dad crosses his arms. “We never should have let you join a rock band. Of course you were led astray by that sinful lifestyle.”
“Led astray?” I shake my head in disbelief. “I’m thirty, Dad!”
“It doesn’t matter how old you are; you need to be spiritually disciplined. We raised you on biblical teachings. What you’re doing, it’s not a Christian way of living.”
I could have guessed the talking points verbatim, but that doesn’t make them sting any less. “Well it’s a good thing I’m no longer a Christian, then. And by the way, your interpretation of the Bible is one of the many, many reasons for that,” I say.
“Keep your voice down,” Mom hisses, glancing behind me at what I’m positive is still a very empty hallway.
I swallow. My parents raised me to be quiet, compliant, and never cause a scene. They’re more worried by the idea someone might overhear us than the fact that they’re pushing me away with their hate. But I’m done pretending to be the good girl they so desperately wanted.
I am done making myself small just to please them.
“No,” I scoff, crossing my arms. “This is who I am: a bisexual atheist who makes secular music for a living. Congratulations—you’ve finally met your daughter.”
Dad’s eyes flash. “I’ve known there was something wrong from the moment you joined that band, but to learn it started years before…the devil has a hold of you, Jane. Those band members of yours helped him gain a stronger foothold.”
Wow. I knew he’d go there, but it doesn’t make it any less absurd.
“My bandmates are some of the best people I know! They care about other people, and they use their influence for good. And for the record, I’d bet the Jesus depicted in your precious Bible wouldn’t care if I love a woman, as long as I treat other people well.”
Mom huffs. “You can’t love a woman, Jane. It’s just lust. You can be set free of this sin.”
And then I laugh. I really laugh. Because I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and she can’t wrap her head around that without letting her worldview cast shadows upon it all. When I was younger, I might have let her gaslight me.
Now, I know how to stand tall.
“I don’t want to be set free. I do love Keeley. She makes me so incredibly happy, and she treats me with kindness and respect. Don’t you love me enough to be excited I’ve found that?”
Dad’s face goes red, and he starts to splutter. Mom takes the opening.
“How could we be excited? We’ve truly lost you,” she says.
I place my hands on my hips. “I’m really sad that you think so, because you’re missing out on a relationship with your daughter.
My life is so much better than it ever was when I was catering to your expectations, and you should be sad that you’re not a part of it.
Because I’m awesome, actually.” And I can’t help it, I smile, even though my parents are melting down in front of me.
Because I don’t need their approval. I lost it, and I’m still standing. They don’t get to dictate how I live, or who I love.
I’m enough.
“Anne, Hank, you need to back off,” a voice says. We all look at the doorway to see Danny in his suit, alongside a stone-faced Keeley.
“Danny, this is a family matter,” my dad begins.
Danny, to his eternal credit, isn’t cowed. He just crosses his arms and raises a brow. “Yeah, and I’m about to be your family, unless that toast you gave at the rehearsal dinner was meaningless.”
My dad’s jaw ticks.
“And I’m Jane’s,” Keeley says, her eyes not leaving mine. I beam at her.
“I know Nora would back me up on this, because she called me as soon as you left the bridal suite,” Danny says. “So I’m only going to say this once: you two can be welcoming to Jane and Keeley, our guests, or you can leave.”
My parents both splutter, but Danny stands his ground. I’m starting to understand what my sister sees in this guy. But I don’t want to be the person ruining her day.
“No, it’s fine,” I say. “Keeley and I will keep to ourselves, because we’re here for Nora.
” I turn back to my parents. “But after today, I’m done with both of you unless some major things change.
If you’re going to keep telling me what I do is a sin, do not call me.
Do not visit my home. Don’t send me so much as a text message.
If you want a relationship with me, you need to accept who I am with open arms. Until then, well, I guess you only have one daughter.
You’d better not screw that up because she’s already seeing past your bullshit. ”
My pulse roars in my ears, but the words don’t feel bad coming out of my mouth. They feel powerful. I’ve been so afraid of losing their approval that I’ve hidden myself for far too long.
I’m done hiding. They don’t get to bring me into this world, then decide to love me conditionally. I was terrified to have this conversation. Terrified, for so many years, that it would wreck me. But I’m fine. I’m more than fine.
I’m free to be exactly who I want to be.
There are members of my family who accept me for who I am. I’ll have a relationship with Nora and Danny, but my real family is Valerie, Caleb, Riker, and the woman I love.
“Jane, how dare you—” Mom starts, but Dad puts up a hand.
“Fine. If this is what she wants, this is what she’s going to get. We’ll get along today for Nora’s sake, and then you’ll never have to talk to us again. But I hope you change your mind someday and repent.”
I stare at him. “Well, then. I hope the same for you.”
And with that, my parents leave the room.
“Are you okay?” Danny asks, striding toward me with Keeley right behind him.
“I know this is the first time we’ve talked in, what, ten years, but I do care.
Nora loves you. That means I do too. You’re family.
” For the first time since Danny entered the room, I really look at him.
He’s still a little lanky for twenty-two, but it works, somehow, and he’s got a bit of a Harry Styles thing going with his longish brown hair and sharp jawline.
But it’s something about his presence that just puts all of my last worries at ease. I can see him just fitting with Nora.
I smile at him, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you, Danny. Be good to my sister.”
He pulls back. “I promise I will.”
“Good,” Keeley drawls, over my shoulder. “If you aren’t, I’ll break your kneecaps.”
Danny laughs. “If that happens, I’ll let you.”
“But really, are you okay?” Keeley asks, her fingertips grazing my wrist.
“Surprisingly yes,” I say, threading our fingers together. “I’ve been so afraid of this conversation, but standing up for myself was incredibly empowering.”
“We’ve got your back.” Danny grins. “I need to go check on a few things, but can Nora and I come visit you this spring? We’re skipping the honeymoon with school starting back up in a week, but we were thinking spring break in Disneyland if we can afford it.”
And now I know what I’m getting them as a late wedding present.
“Fuck yes,” Keeley says. “I know where all the good food is.”
“Sounds great,” he says, before leaving the room.
“He’s actually pretty legit,” Keeley says. “Your sister told him you might be in trouble, and he came to find me immediately. Perks of being famous. I guess I’m easy to spot.”
“I’m glad you came.” Doing things on my own is overrated.
Keeley laughs. “But you weren’t in trouble, were you? You standing up for yourself is a good look. I love it.”
“I love you,” I say, pulling her closer to me. “Thank you for coming with me today.”
“I love you too,” she says. “And I wouldn’t miss this for the world. You’re stuck with me, Jane Mercer.”
As we head to our seats and the string quartet begins to play a sneaky cover of a Pitbull song that was arranged for Bridgerton, I don’t think being stuck with Keeley sounds so bad at all.
After the confrontation with my parents, I’m sad, but it would be so easy to focus on the shell of a relationship I’ve just lost, instead of everything I’ve gained by being true to myself.
I’m proud of standing my ground.
I cry during the ceremony, because of course I do.
Now that I know Nora is okay, I’m able to be happy for her.
I see the way Danny looks at her, like she’s the most precious thing in the world, and I hope it means they’re going to be okay.
Even if they’re not, I meant it when I said I will always have a safe place for her.
My parents hardly acknowledge us during the reception, choosing instead to stay busy and chat with everyone but our table, where Keeley and I have landed with some of my cousins and Nora’s friends from high school who aren’t a part of the church crowd.
It stings a little, not being with my family, but I’m glad I get to be here to support my baby sister on what is hopefully the happiest day of her life.
Still, she and Danny stop by while they do their lap, and I mean every word of my heartfelt congratulations.
But later, when the dancing opens up, Keeley and I don’t care about where we are. We take to the floor together, wrapped in each other’s arms, until the countdown to midnight brings the night to a sparkling end.