Chapter 31 Jane
Jane
“Zip me up?” I ask, as I struggle to fasten the navy lace cocktail dress.
“I’ll be right out,” Keeley calls from the en suite of her parents’ guest bedroom.
I meant it when I told Keeley I have no regrets. I want her, consequences be damned. But that doesn’t make my anxiety feel any less pressing as we get ready at Keeley’s childhood home for my sister’s wedding on New Year’s Eve.
After a long, tear-filled conversation over the phone, Nora and I agreed that it’s best if I’m not in the bridal party, but I was determined to be there tonight however I could.
My sister just made me promise that if I came to the wedding, I wouldn’t show up alone.
It didn’t feel like that was totally up to me, but Keeley was in the moment I asked, and I knew I would be able to rely on her for strength.
I can face my parents with her by my side.
We spent Christmas with the Cunninghams and Riker, who tagged along before he had to go back to LA, and there was something so special about celebrating the holiday with people I could be my full self around.
Keeley steps out of the bathroom into the guest room, and walks over to me, her eyes slowly grazing over my figure in the mirror.
“Holy fuck, you look stunning,” she murmurs, stepping up behind me. I can feel the heat of her post-shower body through the thin fabric of my dress, and all I want to do is turn around and get lost in her the way I have every night since we ended our break…
And again this morning, before we snuck upstairs for coffee and pastries.
Keeley tugs the zipper up slowly, her fingers tracing from my lower back all the way up my spine to my neck. I can’t help it; I lean a little into that touch that leaves sparks across my skin.
“You smell amazing too,” she rasps. I knew putting on my fancier vanilla perfume would pay off. Now that I know just how much she’s into my favorite scent, I’m using that information. Intentionally.
I glance up at her in the mirror, and her heavily lined eyes lock on mine. “I wish we could just stay here and…”
She smirks. “As much as I want to make you come apart all over my face again, we really should fuck somewhere other than my parents’ basement.”
I laugh, rolling my eyes at her. Still, I spin around and tug on the soft collar of her ivory satin dress shirt and pull her down for a kiss. She smiles against my mouth, extricating herself before we can get too carried away.
“Come on,” she says. “We can do more of this later.”
“I’m holding you to that,” I say, stepping back to get a good look at her.
She’s got the shirt tucked into midnight-blue suit pants with a matching jacket and loafers, and she looks as gorgeous like this as when she wears a gown.
She’s got her bob styled in a chic, smooth blowout instead of her usual unkempt tousled waves, but she still looks so much like herself.
Perfectly breathtaking in every way.
“Stop looking at me like you want to take my clothes off,” she murmurs, reaching out to thread her fingers through mine.
“The suit is definitely working for me,” I say, pressing a kiss to her hand before following her up the stairs.
“Oh my god, look at you two!” Sasha Cunningham squeals as we enter her warm, cinnamon-scented kitchen. “Jane Mercer, aren’t you just the most beautiful girl I have ever seen?”
I flush a little at the attention.
“I’d be offended if she was wrong, but she’s not,” Keeley says dryly, leaning her elbows against the counter.
“Oh, honey, you know you look fantastic too. God, I’m so happy the two of you agreed to stay with us through the holidays! This is the first time Keeley has brought a partner home in years, and I just…” Sasha trails off, shaking her head. “I hope we’ll be seeing a lot more of you, Jane.”
My throat tightens at the casual acceptance in this home.
If it hadn’t been the Pride progress flag on the porch, there are a hundred other things that have happened over the past week that would have convinced me I was safe here.
Whether it was Pete pulling me into the study to make sure I was okay after the interview dropped on Christmas Eve, or Sasha making my favorite cinnamon rolls for breakfast (with Riker’s enthusiastic help), or even Oliver cornering Keeley and me on Christmas morning and asking to talk to both of us…
and then threatening Keeley with bodily harm if she hurts me, I know this family is full of people I can trust.
People who I think might be my family someday, if I’m lucky. That hope is a small flicker in my chest, but it burns brighter with every new moment Keeley and I share together. I can’t believe I’m here, “meeting” her parents. They already know me, sure, but this time really feels different.
And while a part of me would rather be here, safe with the Cunninghams, it’s time to go face my own family.
“We should probably hit the road,” I say. “I’m sorry, Sasha.”
“Oh, nonsense,” Sasha says, waving a dismissive hand.
“You two should head out to beat the traffic. But, Jane?” She gently places a hand on my elbow.
“If your parents give you grief and you want to leave, you make an escape as soon as you congratulate your sister. We’ll cook up a nice vegetarian chili and open a big bottle of wine tonight instead. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say.
Sasha pulls me into a hug, so careful not to touch my makeup or hair, but still so much warmer than the perfunctory embraces I’m used to from my mother that it almost breaks me all over again. This isn’t the first Sasha Cunningham hug I’ve gotten this week, and I’m kind of addicted to them.
“Okay, enough, Mom. You’re going to suffocate my girlfriend,” Keeley says. I try not to preen at those words, but I can’t help it. They make me happier than ever.
With a laugh, Sasha pulls back, and then Pete is shoving us out the door with reminders that the car is charged and to drive safe. And then we head to the main event. My stomach does backflips for the entire fifty-minute trip to the venue.
We find parking with an hour to spare, but I wanted to be sure to arrive early to get any awkwardness out of the way.
The venue is in the basement of a beautiful historic building that has been renovated, with stone walls and exposed wooden beams and soft light filling the room from strategically placed sconces and candles.
There are lush flower arrangements lining the aisle, and the altar is draped in white satin.
While Keeley heads to find our seats, I decide to go find Nora.
“You sure you don’t want backup?” she asks.
I nod. “I think it’s best if I try to do this alone.”
She nods, her expression turning solemn. “Okay, well, just say the word and I’m there.”
“I know.”
With a squeeze of her hand, I slip away.
A friendly staff member in all black points me down a hall and to the right, and I find a room with brIDE on a rustic wooden sign next to the door.
But before I can knock, my mom steps out, resplendent in a soft, sage-green mother-of-the-bride dress.
Personally, I think it matches the bridesmaid dress I was supposed to wear a little too much, but I’m not about to say that.
“Jane,” she says. “Nice of you to show up.”
I set my jaw. Mom wants to get a rise out of me, and I’m not going to let her.
“I had a conversation with Nora, and we decided this was best.”
Her nostrils flare as she steps toward me, lowering her voice. “You shouldn’t be here at all, after that abomination of an article. I didn’t raise you to live in sin.” My heart hammers as she berates me, but I don’t feel guilty. I feel free. “You’d better not have…”
“Jane, you’re finally here!” Nora interrupts excitedly, from behind Mom.
She’s not in her dress yet, but her strawberry-blond hair is pulled back in an elegant half-updo, and her complexion glows with dewy makeup.
She looks more like a forest nymph than a bride, and it’s the perfect look to accompany her gown.
“Nora,” I say, stepping past Mom into the room to hug my sister, careful to avoid touching her face or hair. I pull back, looking at her. “Wow, you look beautiful.”
“This room is for the bridal party only,” Mom snaps. “Jane made her choice.”
“Well, I made a choice to invite my sister,” Nora says. “Thank you for coming.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” I say, and I mean it. Mom can be a homophobic piece of work if she wants to be, but Nora insisted she wanted me here, and nothing could keep me away.
Nora leans past me. “Is Keeley here?”
I nod. “Yeah, she went to find our seats.”
Nora beams. “I’m glad.”
Mom flushes, so red I can’t ignore it, even in my periphery. “This is just absurd.”
Nora surprises me by striding past me, getting right in Mom’s face. “This is my day, and I want my sister here. I’ll never forgive you if you ruin it by being rude to her or her girlfriend.
Mom presses a hand to her chest dramatically. “I can’t believe I raised such willful daughters. Maybe paying for this wedding was a mistake. Nora, you’re clearly not mature enough to handle getting married if you think what Jane is doing is remotely—”
“Mom!” I snap. “I need to talk to you and Dad. Right now. Where is he?”
“Jane!” I go cold at the raised voice of my father from behind me.
I turn around to see him in the hall, already dressed in his simple black suit, a white boutonniere tucked into his lapel.
Since the last time I’ve seen him, he’s gained a few more wrinkles, and he’s shaved off all of his balding hair.
Mom runs over to him like she’s gotten someone else on her team, but he puts up a palm. “Anne, beloved, what’s going on?”
“Our oldest daughter wants to talk to us, because apparently that’s more important right now than everything else going on. I’m simply too busy for this.”
I clench my fists.
“That’s what the wedding coordinator is for!” Nora says, too brightly. “You can talk to Jane. Nothing will fall apart for five minutes.” I flash her a grateful look.