39. Chapter 39
Lennox is getting discharged right now, and between Willow pacing the living room and my head going through every conceivable outcome with him, we’re both a ball of anxiety.
“I think I might try and open Grind Time.” I stand abruptly. Now that the idea has popped into my head, I actually think it’s a good one. Get back to my usual schedule, make coffee for the all the nosey townspeople.
Maybe that’s not such a good thing.
“Smart. Sitting around waiting to hear from Ledger isn’t doing either of us any favors. Need help?” she asks.
“Honestly, yeah. I told Brittany we’d open back up next week, so I won’t have help until then.” I like this plan. Not only because I really will need the help, but I’m also not ready to spend a lot of time away from Willow. The past week and a half have spoiled me, and I’m not sure I want to go back to spending our time apart.
“Done!” She speed-walks to her room to get dressed, and I slowly join her, pulling on a pair of jeans and a Henley that Arlo was kind enough to drop off after I realized I would need clothes at some point.
“So, fair warning, when I was in charge of the shop last time, I sucked at making coffee. So maybe I can just be on cashier duty or food duty, or something,” she rambles, and I know it’s because she’s nervous about Lennox.
“I’ll take any help you can give, Trouble.” I lean down, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Let’s go.”
I grab her hand and drag her to the door. The fresh air and normalcy at Ledger’s house last night have made me anxious to get back to that feeling and to give it to Willow.
Walking to Grind Time gives me the fresh air I was desperate for. The streets are quiet along Main Street, which is unusual for Bluebell Falls. It’s not shocking, though; Arlo told me everyone was giving reporters hell all week. They probably feel the opposite of me and want to just relax at home after the eventful week.
I unlock the front door when we finally get there and walk into the eerie silence. It’s mid-morning, and normally, this place would be packed.
“It’s weird being here in daylight and not having a line out the door,” Willow says as she looks around.
“I was just thinking the same thing. I’m not even sure how much food I should bring out. I mean, I didn’t even prepare any pastries, so I really only have stuff for paninis.” This was a stupid idea. No one is going to show up, and we’ll spend all day twiddling our thumbs here instead of at home.
“Somehow, I don’t think that’ll be an issue.” I look up at her and see she’s looking out the front windows that face Main Street.
I turn around and see at least ten people bustling across the street. Mabel, Alice, and Ainsley’s dad, Jim—which still makes me laugh, knowing he’s in league with the gossip queens—hurry their way across the street.
“Shit,” I mutter, walking quickly behind the counter to start pulling out all the shit I’ll need to fuel the masses.
“Okay. I’ll take orders?” Willow says, keeping up with me. I’m impressed she knows exactly where everything is since the only real day she spent behind the counter is the day Lennox … the day that… When everything went down.
I shake my head of those thoughts. I don’t have time to think about that anyway since the bell above the door rings out.
“So good to see you open,” Jim calls in his booming voice.
I send a wave up but continue to pull out everything we’ll need and turn on the espresso machines.
“So, are the rumors true?”
“Did you really go down there by yourself?”
“How’s little Lenny doing?”
All the questions hit Willow at once when she takes her place at the register.
“Umm.” I hear her timid voice. She’s never timid, so I know she’s struggling. Not knowing how to answer is causing her to freeze up.
“When is he coming home?”
“Do you all need anything?”
“Now, Mabel, let the girl breathe,” Jim’s voice calls out over everyone.
My vision blurs a little, and the angry heat spreads through my chest as I turn around. This group making Willow uncomfortable has my hackles up.
“If you all don’t leave her alone and stop asking questions, you can leave. Order your shit.” My voice is low and shouldn’t be heard over the ruckus of the customers, but somehow, they all hear it.
“Sorry, Oakley,” a few people mutter, casting their heads down in shame. They know better, but their curiosity obviously got the better of them.
“Don’t apologize to me; apologize to Willow.”
A chorus of “I’m sorry” greets both of us as Willow looks over at me, a small smile on her face.
“Thanks. Now, what can I get for you?” Willow asks without a hiccup.
It takes us over an hour to get through the influx of people, most ordering the most basic of coffee orders, so I know they only came in for the gossip. Once we finally have a lull, I step out from behind the counter.
“Alright, show’s over, folks. We’ll open up full-time again next Monday,” I announce, not even feeling the slightest bit bad about it.
“Oakley,” I hear Willow whisper behind me, but I wait until everyone is out the door before locking it and turning back to her.
“Yes, Willow?”
“Why did you close? What if someone else needs coffee?” Her eyes are bloodshot, and her hair is falling out of the bun on top of her head.
“First, no one in this town needs coffee; they just wanted any information they could get. Second, you are exhausted—hell, I’m exhausted—and this was a bad idea. We should have just gone for a walk and then gone back home.” Besides, the adrenaline of everyone bombarding her with questions was too much for me, even if it wasn’t for her.
Using this as a distraction for how I’m feeling about Lennox coming home was the wrong move, but nothing to do with it now. Lesson learned; now, we move on.
My old therapist would love that I just said that.
The thought triggers an idea. But first, I need to get Willow home so I can talk this out with her.
“It seemed like a good idea.” She sighs. “They really just came in here swinging, huh? This is why I kill them off in my books.” She whips out her phone, and I peek over, seeing her writing a note of grievances about everyone who came in here.
I choke out a laugh. “Remind me to stay on your good side. And now I’m going to have to reread your books and guess who everyone is.”
“It’s a fun game. I’ll help you,” she says without missing a beat with her notes.
A knock sounds on the front door, and I see Sheriff—Arlo—standing there. I walk over, unlock the door, and usher him in.
“Willow. Oakley.” He nods as a greeting.
“Hey, Arlo, need some coffee?” Willow asks.
“I’m good. Thank you, though. I actually came to talk to Oakley.” His tone tells me this isn’t a social visit, so I motion him over to a table.
I don’t ask him what he needs; I wait him out. I know he won’t beat around the bush, so there is no need for small talk. He looks over at Will for a moment, arching his eyebrow at me when he turns back.
“She’s good,” I tell him. Whatever he wants to talk about, she’ll find out from me as soon as we leave here anyway. This just takes out the middleman.
“I wanted to formally offer you a job in the sheriff’s office. It would be basically a deputy position, but we’d be more equals.”
I stare at him in a little bit of shock. Sure, he’s offered up casually before but never an official offer.
“You’re serious?”
“Absolutely. It’s not that we need to fill the position, but I could use a second-in-command. We could take on more of the National Park stuff if needed, things like that.”
I look around Grind Time, and it’s like time stands still. I see Willow leaning against the corner, her brow furrowed in thought. I see visions of Mabel and Alice shit-talking in the corner. I see Arlo coming in most mornings for an americano, even though I know he has a machine across the street at his office.
“I think,” I say slowly. “I think I need to decline.” I say the words, and in any other situation, I would be panicking that I just made a rash decision.
But this doesn’t feel rash at all. This feels right.
“But” — I turn back to Arlo — “I’d be more than happy to be available if things come up that you need help with. Just not full-time. Or even part-time. Just case by case,” I offer.
The corner of his mouth tips up in what I would consider a smile from him before he knocks on the wood table. “I’ll take that. Thanks, Oakley.”
He goes to stand when Willow interrupts.
“They’re on the way with Lennox. Thought you both would like to know. Rina said she has to drop him off then run because she has a dinner, so she wants us to meet her there.” She says the last part to me.
Arlo checks his watch quickly. “Shit, I lost track of time. Sorry to run, but I’ve got a … meeting.” He rushes out without another word.
Willow and I raise our eyebrows at each other. Interesting. Definitely something going on there. But that’s not my business.
My business is taking Willow to go see Lennox and hope that he’s doing okay. Whatever is going on with Rina and Arlo is not something I want to be in the middle of.
Arlo rushes out as Willow laughs.
“Woah boy am I going to have a chat with her later.” She shakes her head, mirth lighting up her whole face.
“Alright, little investigator, one problem at a time. Let’s go meet Lennox.”
We walk to my car because, apparently, Lennox’s cabin is a little way on the outskirts. It still only takes us about fifteen minutes to get there, but it’s very clear he wants to be on his own out here. There are no neighbors around for miles.
“I want to talk to you about something,” I tell her as we park and wait for everyone else.
“What’s up?”
“I want to see if my therapist from when I left Marshals has steady openings. Maybe once a week, once every other week. We talked about it before everything went down, but I want to get more serious about it.”
“Okay.” She nods, putting her hand on my forearm.
“I know I have unresolved shit from when I was still on the Task Force, but I also think everything that happened will hit me eventually, and I want to stay on top of it. I don’t want to put you in a position to deal with a partner who doesn’t know when he needs help. I want to be proactive.”
“You know I would support you no matter what, right? I think talking to your therapist is a great idea, but I also don’t want you to think I wouldn’t love you just the same if you struggle. Life is not perfect; we’re both bound to struggle. Hell, I was just thinking about figuring out how to go about starting with a therapist because I’m starting to get nightmares.” She tosses her hands up.
“You’re having nightmares?” I didn’t know, and guilt hits like a freight train. I missed something.
“Just one, but it was … scary, and I don’t want them to become more frequent. That’s not the point, though. The point is, I think it’s good we’re both looking into this. We might feel great right now, but it doesn’t mean it will stay that way. What he did … is not something that will go away easily.”
“No, it won’t,” I say quietly.
“Were you worried I wouldn’t be receptive?”
“No, not really. It’s just not something I’ve ever felt like I needed to talk about. But we’re together and I love you, so I want to include you in decisions I make that affect both of us.”
“I really like that,” she whispers.
Lifting up as best as she can in the car, she leans over and presses her lips to mine. A car door shutting has us pulling away, the twinkle in her eye telling me being open about wanting to go back to therapy was the right decision.
“You ready for this?” I ask.
“No, I don’t really think I am, but he needs us all right now.”
I nod, getting out of the car and walking to the door to open it. We meet Rina in the driveway, and she looks like she has something to say.
“He’s complaining that we’re babying him. When I calmly told him he couldn’t drive himself home, he bitched that he could have rideshared. It’s like he’s a sullen teenager again, and I’m trying to keep my patience but I am about to fail miserably,” she says through gritted teeth.
“Well, it’s a good thing you need to leave then, huh?” Willow says in a very little-sister tone.
“Sure is.” Rina’s tone is sugar-sweet, and I know the stress is getting to everyone. The unknown, the unsure of how to treat Lennox is all catching up to everyone.
“Well, I’ll go get Lennox.” I move quickly to Rina’s truck, opening the side door to find a very ticked-off Lennox.
“Tell the women to stand down. I’m not helpless.” His voice is flat, albeit annoyed.
“They’re worried, and they don’t know how to act around you.”
He tips his head back on a sigh. He’s looking really good today, actually. We haven’t seen him outside of video chats, but even the deeper of the cuts have very small bandages on them at this point.
“I know you’re right. Fuck, I don’t even know how to act around me.”
“Hey, it’s okay. No one has all the answers right now, and I can not-so-subtly hint to them to chill on their caution level.”
“Thank you. For being normal, for treating me like I’m normal.”
My heart breaks for him, and it’s extremely hard for me to see him so different than the lively man from just a few weeks ago. The one that kicked my ass on the trail. That guilt is pounding hard in my chest again, but I know I can’t let it pull me under.
“It’ll take time. They’ll get there,” I tell him, holding the door open, and he slowly swings his legs over the side.
“The hospital set me up with a therapist,” he says softly.
“That’s good.” I’m not sure if he’s happy or annoyed with it, so I choose to stay neutral.
“It makes me nervous.”
“Yeah, it made me nervous too. Hell, I think it still does.”
“Yeah? Does it get easier?”
I once again could lie to him, but I know it would do more damage than good. “No, I honestly don’t think it does. You just accept that it’s for the greater good and deal with it. And then some other trauma rears its head, and you deal with that.”
He chuckles at that before wincing and grabbing his side.
“Easy, man, no need to play the hero. Let’s get you inside.” I help him out of the truck and then let him take the lead.
Willow already has the house open, and Rina is saluting us as she walks away and takes off. I can’t help but laugh at their sibling-ness. I’ve never had that, so it’s super entertaining.
“You pissed her off real good,” Willow says, holding the door open.
Lennox just grunts, and Willow looks up at me with a question in her eyes. I shrug, knowing if he doesn’t want to talk, I won’t be the one to push him. Lennox walks into his large cabin and collapses onto the couch.
“Ledger said he stocked up the kitchen, so you should be good to go on food for a while. Do you want us to hang out for a while?” she offers.
“I think…” He sighs. “I think I just want to be alone for a while.” He pats the spot next to him, and Willow joins him on the couch.
“For the last two weeks, at least one of you has been with me damn near 24/7. It’s not that I don’t appreciate checking in and making sure I’m okay, it’s just that it’s becoming suffocating. And I say that with love because this is a new normal we all have to work through. I haven’t even really had time to process … everything, and I think it would be good for me to just sit, alone, with my thoughts. Even if it sucks. I promise I’ll keep up with the group chat, though.”
It’s a compromise, and I’m really proud of him for doing it.
“That works. I’m sorry we didn’t give you time in the hospital, and I’ll tell Ledg and Rina to chill. Love you, Lenny. Call me if you need anything.” She hugs him gently before kissing the crown of his head and standing up to walk to me.
“You can call me too. Grind Time is opening back up Monday, so I can have lunch and coffee here whenever, if you want it.”
“Thanks, man. Love you too, Will.”
I nod to him as Willow hesitates. I put my hand on her back, leading her back to the front door.
“Call anytime, seriously,” she says.
“I will, I promise.” He looks her in her eyes as he says it, and I feel like it’s a good step for him.
Once we finally make it back to the car, Willow breaks down in tears. It’s going to be a long journey for not only Lennox but the family as well, but today and getting him home was a good start.