35. Claire
35
CLAIRE
“Father.”
Jonah turns his body to make sure mine is shielded, and I’m taken aback by how bored he sounds.
“Would you mind stepping out of the room? I’ll be with you in a minute.”
“It’s Ms. Davis I’m here for.”
“It’s me you’ll get.”
“Jonah, I will speak with Ms. Davis.” Conrad narrows his eyes at me. “Claire, we need to talk.”
Jonah starts to protest, but I place my palm on his chest.
“It’s fine,” I tell him, and then I look back at Conrad. “I’ll be right out.”
Jonah’s body goes rigid, and it remains so even after his father leaves the room. He rolls off me and goes to his suitcase without a word. I sit up and fix my pajama shirt. We never took it off.
“Are you okay?”
He huffs a laugh, but he doesn’t respond, so I get out of the bed and follow his lead. I change into a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, and I pull my hair back in a claw clip. Jonah leaves the bedroom before I’m finished, but when I step into the main room, neither man is speaking. They’re just staring at each other, and I notice José in the corner. I arch an eyebrow in his direction, and he shakes his head.
“Sorry,” he mouths to me .
I look away and move to stand next to Jonah. A united front. Us against everything. Then I take a deep breath and look at Conrad.
“Conrad. How did you get in here?”
My words are curt, and I try to appear unfazed. I’m sure he wanted to gain the upper hand by unsettling me. I won’t give him that. He narrows his eyes.
“I have connections.”
“You mean you bribed some poor hotel employee.”
He doesn’t respond, which is confirmation enough. Entitled prick.
“What do you need? I’d like to get it over with. We have work to do today.”
“You call fucking my son work?”
“Watch it.” Jonah takes a step toward his father, but I place my hand on his bicep, stopping him.
“What do you need, Conrad?” I repeat, and I watch as his expression changes.
His face softens. His eyes, eyes so similar yet so different from the ones I’ve come to love, grow sad. He looks lost, and for a moment, I almost feel for him.
“Tell the muscle to step outside, please. This is a private matter.”
I know I’ll regret this. I know I will. But I just want to get this over with.
I glance at José. “Can you please wait in the hallway? This won’t take long.”
José looks between me and Conrad. “Are you sure, Ms. Davis? I think I should stay.”
“It’s fine.” I give him a tight smile. “I’ll call for you if you’re needed.”
José looks at Conrad once more, then nods. “Okay. I’ll be right outside.”
He walks past Jonah and I slowly but stops briefly in front of Conrad. He doesn’t say anything, but from the slight flare in Conrad’s eyes, I’m guessing José’s expression is less than friendly.
The moment José is out of the room, Conrad smiles at me. It’s a playful smile, almost suggestive, and it makes my skin crawl.
“You have quite the command over these men, don’t you? ”
I ignore his comment and cut to the chase. “What do you need, Conrad?”
“I need you to come back to Innovation.”
“No.”
“Claire, please.”
Conrad takes a step toward me, but Jonah inches his shoulder in front of mine. Not blocking me from his father completely but drawing a very obvious line.
Conrad doesn’t even acknowledge him.
“Come back with me, Claire. The department needs you. The campaign needs you.” He reaches past Jonah and takes my hand. It’s cold and rough. I hate it. “ I need you.”
I pull my hand out of his father’s grip, but Jonah still stiffens beside me. I shake my head.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Conrad. My resignation is final. I’m done with Innovation, and I’m done with you.” I glance up at Jonah. He’s still staring holes into his father, his jaw tense and hard. “Come on. We have a lot planned today.”
I turn to leave, hoping like hell Jonah will follow me, but then Conrad opens his big, stupid, conceited mouth.
“If you’re done with me, then you’re done in this industry.”
I stop in my tracks. That’s my first mistake.
“You won’t work with a competitor, Claire. I’ll make sure of it.”
My stomach sinks. This isn’t news to me. He’s said it before. But hearing it again just serves as a reminder of how much I dread it becoming a reality. I love my job. I love New York. The idea of finding a new career...of starting over...
Every plan and dream I had for my future, everything I’d worked for, would be gone. It would all be for nothing.
“You’ll be signing your own name on the industry blacklist.”
I turn back around. That’s my second mistake.
“You already told me this,” I say, my false calm wavering with every word. I can tell by the twinkle in his eye that he knows how affected I am by his threat. “I’ve made my decision. You can leave now.”
My final mistake. I should have kept my mouth shut and continued walking.
Conrad’s eyes narrow .
“Do you think fucking my son will get you what you want, you little slut?”
“Motherfucker.”
Jonah rushes Conrad. He shoves him, causing him to stumble backward, before I’m able to wrap my arms around Jonah’s waist.
“Stop! Stop, Jonah.”
“You think she’s fucking you because she wants you?” Conrad straightens to his full height and sneers. “I warned you about her, but you never fucking listen.”
“Conrad, you need to leave.” He flicks angry eyes toward me. I’m still holding on to Jonah’s waist, but I don’t take my glare off Conrad. “Leave, before I have José call security.”
Conrad ignores me. “She just wants your money, Son. She’ll get knocked up, take you for all you’re worth, and disgrace the family name.”
His comment makes me flinch, but I don’t have time to dwell on it. Jonah’s body vibrates, his muscles so tense that they feel like rocks between my arms, and I know I need to put an end to this before all hell breaks loose.
“Conrad. I’m serious. You need to leave.”
He never takes his eyes off Jonah.
“You were a mistake. Worthless. Couldn’t even do what you were intended for.”
Conrad takes another step toward Jonah, and my blood boils with every word that comes out of his mouth.
“A waste of money. A waste of resources. A waste of time. You’re defective, and I’ll be damned if I let you fuck up the family name like you fucked up my chance at an heir.”
My brows furrow at his last statement. It makes no sense until Jonah speaks.
“It’s not my fault Theo died.”
Jonah’s words are gritted through clenched teeth, and I can tell it’s not the first time he’s had to say them. Why? Theo had a brain tumor. It doesn’t make sense that Jonah would have to defend himself in this way.
I flinch when Conrad laughs. “If you weren’t defective, he’d be alive, and so would your mother. ”
The already tight leash I have on my temper frays, and I have to dig my toes into the floor to keep from launching at him.
“You can’t put that on him, Conrad. Jonah had nothing to do with their deaths.”
His lip curls in disgust, still not looking away from Jonah. “Your mother never recovered when Theodore died. She’d still be alive if you’d just done what you were intended for.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” Jonah’s voice is strained, no doubt trying to keep from shouting. “Even Theo knew it was bullshit.”
“Theo would tell you whatever you wanted to hear. You killed him anyway.”
“Stop it!” I step in front of Jonah, pressing my back to his front, and square up against Conrad. “That is disgusting. Your son had a brain tumor. How could you possibly blame Jonah?”
“Because he couldn’t use me to save him.”
“What?” I turn to look up at Jonah. “What does that mean?”
His nostrils flare and his eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Do you know what a savior sibling is, Claire?”
My mouth falls open, and my eyes go wide.
“It’s fascinating, really. Controversial, but fascinating.” He drops his eyes to me. “Essentially, you have a fatally ill child, so you create a new one in hopes that they can save the sick one. In our case, Theo was the fatally ill child—he was born with a rare blood disorder that caused bone marrow failure—and I was the genetically modified body intended for harvest.”
“Thousands of dollars wasted on you.”
I gasp, whipping my attention back to Conrad. Rage simmers in my vision, making everything blurry on the edges.
“The kidney?” I whisper, and Jonah huffs a laugh.
“Kidney. Cord blood and bone marrow before that. Too bad I couldn’t donate my brain too, right, Dad?”
The men stare at each other, two sides of the same coin. Jonah must look more like his mother, but he and Conrad have the same eyes. The same sharp jaw. The same incinerating wrath.
“You know the sad part?” Jonah blinks, and a single tear rolls down his cheek. “I’d have done it, if I could. If I had to kill myself to save him, I’d have done it. For fucking years, you had me convinced that was all I was good for. That Theo’s life was my only purpose. I believed it so strongly that when he died, part of me died, too.”
My heart breaks for him. I want to hold him and protect him. To have lived with this his whole life? And his middle name...it seems so sinister now. I reach up and press my hand to Jonah’s cheek.
“Hey,” I whisper, willing him to look at me, to look away from his father, a man who has never seen his worth, and at me, the woman who loves him. I open my mouth to tell him. I love you. You matter to me. I love you. But Conrad speaks, and I snap.
“You should have.”
I whirl on him, my open palm landing right on his cheek with a loud crack. I raise my other hand in a fist with every intention of aiming a jab to his nose, but I’m yanked back into Jonah’s chest. He wraps firm arms around me and says something, something like don’t , but I barely hear him through the sound of my racing heart. I thrash against his hold and keep my glare fixed on Conrad as he takes an aggressive step toward me.
“You feral bitch.”
“You vile excuse for a human being.” I practically growl the insult. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re disgusting. You disgust me.”
His eyes narrow, then he smirks. “You didn’t think I was disgusting when you were in my bed moaning my name.”
The comment makes my stomach roil and stokes my rage. I want to rip that smirk off his face and shove it down his throat.
“Not a single one of those moans were real,” I say with a sneer. “You’re just as pathetic a lay as you are a parent.”
“Stop, Claire.”
Jonah’s voice is a whisper in my hair as his arms tighten around me, but I can’t take my eyes off Conrad.
“I’m so pathetic that you move on to my disgrace of a son? It just serves as proof that you’re looking for a payout. Even if you get yourself pregnant or cry sexual harassment, you’ll get no money from this family.”
I give Conrad a grin so maniacal, I’m sure I look psychotic.
“I didn’t move on to your son for his money, Conrad. I did it because he has a bigger dick and actually knows how to make me come, you selfish, arrogant, evil, tiny little excuse for a man.”
His nostrils flare, and his entire face flushes so crimson, the handprint from my slap disappears.
“I will ruin you.”
“Fucking try it. I’ll tell everyone how you prey on new hires. How you manipulated me and lied to me. Every dirty detail, every damning thing I know, I’ll tell all of it to everyone who will listen.”
“No one will believe you. Especially not when they learn you’re a gold-digging whore who fucked my son when you realized I wouldn’t marry you. Your reputation will be ruined. You’ll never be able to show your face in New York City again.”
Jesus Christ, what is it about these men and calling me a whore? I bark out a laugh.
“I don’t care what lies you try to sell about me. I’ll take a torch to my whole fucking life if it means you’ll burn with it.”
When he doesn’t respond right away, I know I’ve won. He’s terrified. The only thing Conrad Henderson cares about is his reputation. Bad press? He’d never let that happen. It’s the whole reason he asked me to come work with Jonah. Not because he was worried about his son. Because he was worried about himself.
I hate him.
I lean into that hatred and force a smile.
“Get the fuck out of here, or I’ll start calling every news station in New York.”
Conrad shakes his head and takes one step backward.
“You’re fucking crazy.”
“Women do these things when they’ve been scorned, right?” I point to the door. “Contact us again and you will regret it. Get out.”
He flicks his eyes over my head to Jonah.
“You’re cut off. Next time you’re arrested, don’t call me.”
Jonah scoffs, but says nothing, and I don’t stop glaring at Conrad until he’s in the hallway and the door has shut on his back.
I release a sigh of relief, then twist in Jonah’s hold, looping my arms around his neck in a hug.
“I’m so sorry, Jonah. I had no idea. ”
I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his lips, but he doesn’t kiss me back. He’s not holding me anymore either.
“Jonah?”
I drop my arms and survey his face, his body language. His muscles are just as tense as they were moments ago. His jaw is just as tight. His eyes are clamped shut, and his chest is heaving.
“Jonah, what’s wrong?”
He takes a step away from me, putting distance between us, and then he opens his eyes. The look he gives me chills my blood. I can feel my heart start to race for a new reason.
“Jonah.”
“Was that the truth? Did you want to marry him?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I told you, I was wanting to end th?—”
“But you still fucked him.”
I flinch like I’ve been slapped. “Jonah.”
“You fucked my dad, Claire.” He gestures forcefully to the door his father just vacated. “I hate him with every fiber of my being, and you fucked him. You fucked him for months. Worse still, you dated him. You called him your boyfriend. He’s one of the worst people I’ve ever met, and you fucked him.”
My mouth drops open twice to defend myself, but both times, I can say nothing. I just stand there and watch as he shoves his hands into his hair and completely unravels. I try to walk closer, but he backs away, and it’s like a punch to the stomach.
“Jonah...I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I am. I can’t change it, but it’s over now. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter.”
“Why? I didn’t know you. I didn’t even know him. It was a mistake.”
“I can’t do this right now.” He drops to the couch and puts his head in his hands. “I can’t do this right now.”
I shake my head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I can’t handle this right now.” He stands again and starts to pace. “Fuck, I just keep picturing you with him. And now—” He shoves his palms into his eyes and groans. “God, what if you’d stayed with him? What if you loved him? What if you did get engaged? What if I fucking met you at your fucking wedding to my father?”
“Jonah. You’re spiraling.” I fist my trembling hands at my sides and try to keep my voice even. “None of that is real. It never would have happened.”
“I know! Fuck, I know. But Claire...”
He sits again, propping his elbows on his knees, and I take the opportunity to sit beside him. His back rises and falls with his quickened breaths, and when I place my hand on it to soothe him, I can feel his rapid heartbeat.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I am. But I’m here with you. I want to be here with you. I want nothing at all to do with your father.”
He rocks his head back and forth on his fists then sits up quickly.
“Why are you here?”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“I mean why the fuck are you here with me, Claire? I’m an addict, remember? You called it. I’ve said terrible shit to you. I fucked you just to turn around and call you a home-wrecking whore.”
I flinch again. I feel like I’m getting my ass kicked.
“I know but it’s different now.”
I shake my head and take his hand in mine. When he pulls it from my grip, my stomach clenches. No. No, this isn’t happening.
“Jonah. Everything that happened before is over. We both said some terrible things, but we’re past that. I’m with you because I want to be.”
“Is it the money?”
“Excuse me?”
“He’s got a point, Claire. You went from him to me, and we have nothing good in common. Just the money.”
My mouth drops open. I’m blindsided.
“Jonah, I do not want your money. I don’t care about it at all. If I wanted money, I’d have stayed with your dad.”
“But he wouldn’t marry you.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I stand from the couch and fold my arms over my chest. “After everything, you think I’m here because of money? Because, I swear to God, Jonah, there are much easier ways to make money than putting up with you and your fucking father. ”
He huffs out a laugh, even though I wasn’t joking, then he shakes his head.
“I meant it when I said I wouldn’t care. You want to get knocked up and take me for all I’m worth? I don’t care. I just want to know.”
I have to blink away the sting of tears. I resist the urge to put my hand on my stomach. How can I tell him now? Oh, by the way, I am knocked up, but I swear it’s not for your money despite what you and your father have both said multiple times. And after last night when he said how glad he is that he doesn’t have kids.
I don’t want to think of all the ways I could fuck them up.
I try to force away any regrets, any thoughts of mistakes, but I can’t.
Nothing good came out of that bedroom in Madrid. Nothing.
“Fuck you, Jonah.”
I turn to walk away, to go I don’t even know where, but he stands and grabs my arm to stop me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. My head’s just...My head’s a fucking mess, Claire. I’m overwhelmed and not thinking clearly, and I just...”
He pulls me into a hug, and I let him. I sink into his hold and press my ear to his chest. I listen to his heartbeat. Everything is going to be fine. I love him. I know he loves me. It’s all just happening at once, and it’s overwhelming. We’re broken, but we’ll heal together.
We’re going to be fine.
“I just need some space.”
I freeze, then step back. I hold his eyes. The sadness in them guts me. He looks tortured. I can’t even imagine how painful this has been for him. For someone who keeps so much to himself, he’s been completely exposed in a gruesome way.
I think back to what Macon said this morning.
Getting sober was like being skinned alive.
A physical, mental, and emotional pain.
Compound that with everything that’s happened over the last few days, and I’m surprised he’s even standing here talking to me. I’m surprised he’s not ripping the bedroom apart or running off to find some other way to silence reality.
I want to hug him again, but I don’t.
I know where this is headed, and I know there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It takes everything in me not to cry. And even though I already know what he’s going to say, I ask anyway.
“What does that mean?”
“I think you were right. I think I just need a break.”