37. Claire
37
CLAIRE
“This place is nice.”
“Right.” I smirk at her as I kick off my shoes. “I’m sure my postage stamp of an apartment really measures up to a world-famous rock star.”
Mabel sits on my couch and grins up at me. “I wasn’t always a world-famous rock star. I used to be just another unwanted foster kid runaway who disappeared into the system, never to be seen or heard from again.”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise, then take the seat next to her. I rest my head on the back cushion and close my eyes. I’m always so tired these days.
“When I was hired to do Jonah’s PR, I tried to do as much research on you guys as I could.” I raise a hand to stifle a yawn. “I found very little about you.”
“One of the few good things the label’s done for us.”
“What do you mean?”
“They scrubbed us from the internet.”
“Really? Why?”
“Less mess, I suppose. Less chance anyone from our pasts would come knocking. We were young and aside from Jonah, we didn’t have stable upbringings. Sav was a runaway. I was a runaway. Torren should have just run away. The label didn’t want any surprises, so a cursory internet search won’t tell you much of anything before we became The Hometown Heartless.” She laughs. “Well, except Sav and Torren, now. They’ve blown their own shit wide open.”
I laugh with her. “Yeah, I noticed that.”
“Everything in my past is a lot more boring than theirs, honestly. I doubt anyone would care even if they did find it.”
I turn my head so I can look at her. Her pink-highlighted hair is perfectly styled. Her winged eyeliner is sharp and precise. Her pink lips are curled into a subtle perma-smile as she thumbs through a design magazine I had sitting on the coffee table.
Mabel’s been nothing but kind to me from the beginning. Always happy. Always smiling. Always quick to toss out a snarky-yet-good-humored joke. I realize now that the bubbly exterior could very well be a survival tactic. A protective armor of some sort.
No one ever looks too long at the happy ones. It’s the broody, angry, mysterious ones that tend to draw attention.
Mabel is the only bandmember who doesn’t have a permanent residence in the media. I run through my memories and can’t recall a single headline about her. How much of that is intentional?
“What is in your past, Mabel?”
“Just another sad orphan backstory to tug on the heartstrings, Claire.” Her lips turn up in a grin, and she arches a brow. “Think it’s enough to make a main character?”
“Probably.”
“God, I hope not.” She laughs and rolls her eyes, then pulls her phone out of her pocket. Whatever she reads has the smile wiped from her face. She turns to face me. “Let me preface this by saying I’m sorry.”
I sit up straight. “What?”
“Sav and Callie are coming over.”
“What? Why? I thought Sav was in North Carolina, and Callie was in LA?”
“They were, but Caveat had some studio time in the city, so Sav came with. Sorry. I told them I was meeting up with you, but I didn’t think she’d just swing by.” Mabel winces. “In hindsight, I probably should have seen it as a possibility.”
“How does she even know where I live?”
“She’s Sav. She knows everything. ”
A knock rings through my apartment, and I sigh, pushing myself from the couch.
“Sorry,” Mabel whispers, and I wave her off.
“Do I look pregnant?”
She snorts. “No.”
“Phew.”
I mime wiping my forehead with my hand and head to the door. I take a deep breath, count to ten, then force a smile and open the door.
“Hi! Come on in!” I take turns pulling Sav and Callie into hugs as they walk into my apartment. “It’s good to see you guys.”
Sav moves toward Mabel and leans on the wall next to the couch. “Sorry for just dropping in unannounced.”
“Are you really?” Mabel asks with a smirk.
“Yes, I am.” Sav flips Mabel off playfully before returning her attention to me. “We finished up at the studio a little early, and I’d been meaning to meet up with you anyway. Since I knew you were with Mabes, I figured now was as good a time as any.”
“It’s fine, really. It’s nice to see you. Though, if I’d known, I’d have had us try to meet somewhere else.” I gesture awkwardly. “Sorry it’s so tiny. Just, um, sit wherever? It’s not the best space for gathering.”
Callie laughs and takes a seat on the floor, crossing her legs in front of her. “I grew up in Santa Monica and shared a place not much bigger than this with my mom and sister. You don’t have to apologize.”
“Well, that’s one perk of moving back home. I’m likely to have more space.” I open the fridge and glance over my shoulder. “I have lemonade? Or I can make some coffee?”
“Lemonade is great,” Callie says. “Why are you moving back home?”
“Oh, right.” I huff a laugh as I pull four glasses from the cabinet and fill them with lemonade. “Well, I’m not sure how much you guys know, but I quit my job at Innovation, and it’s unlikely I’ll get hired anywhere else.”
Sav’s moved to the floor next to Callie, so I hand them their glasses, then grab mine and Mabel’s before taking my seat back on the couch.
“My lease is up in a month, so I’m just cutting my losses and moving back to Virginia. I don’t really want to drain my savings trying to stay in this shoebox, anyway. ”
I try to sound lighthearted, but I can tell I fail. I love this city. I love this apartment. I loved my job. Now, everything is changing rapidly, and I’m just trying desperately to stay upright.
“I heard about your job, actually.” Sav gives me a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry to hear about it. I’m surprised Jo’s dad didn’t offer to triple your salary to get you to stay after you did such great work with Jo.”
I force a laugh. “Yeah, well, when you date your boss, things like this happen.”
Sav spits out her lemonade as Callie chokes on hers.
“What?” Sav gasps out. She reaches over and pats Callie on the back. “You dated Jo’s dad?”
The shock in her voice has me laughing, and I flick my eyes to Mabel and find her staring at me too. I wince.
“Sorry for not telling you sooner.”
Mabel huffs out a laugh and shakes her head. “It’s fine, babe. It’s your trauma to tell.”
I laugh again, louder this time. Trauma is right.
“I dated him for almost a year before I ended things and quit Innovation. He didn’t take it well, hence, I won’t get hired anywhere else.”
“Bastard,” Sav growls. “That’s illegal.”
“His word against mine.” I shrug and force myself to sound more positive than I feel. “I could fight it, but it would be a huge pain in the ass. Costly and a lot of media attention. It’s the last thing I want to deal with. It’s fine. Virginia isn’t bad.”
“That’s so shitty, Claire. Seriously. I’m so sorry.”
I give Callie a smile. “It is, yeah. Thanks.”
Callie looks tentatively at Sav, then Sav flicks her eyes to Mabel before looking back at me. She smiles brightly, making my neck prickle with awareness. Sav’s up to something. I can tell.
“Well, I have something to discuss with you. But can I use your bathroom first? I can feel lemonade pooling in my bra.”
“Yeah, of course.” I point to the clearly visible bathroom door.
“Thanks.”
When the faucet turns on in the bathroom, I bounce my eyes between Callie and Mabel.
“What is she up to? And don’t say nothing. I can tell it’s something. ”
Mabel and Callie share a glance, and then Mabel gives me a small smile. “Just hear her out. It’s nothing bad, I promise.”
I open my mouth to argue, but the bathroom door opens and Sav reappears.
“So much better,” she says on a sigh before plopping down on the floor next to Callie. “Anyway, as I was saying, I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”
I arch a brow. “Okay. What is it?”
“I’d like you to come work for me.”
My jaw drops. “What?”
“At the end of the European tour, we’ll be out of the contract with our label—thanks in large part to the way you were able to turn things around with Jonah—and then I’m going to launch my new record label, Rock Loveless Records. I’d like to hire you.”
“As what?”
“Marketing and communications director. Rock Loveless needs branding and a marketing plan, and then you’d be overseeing the PR and marketing plans for any bands we sign. At present, we only have one band.”
She hooks a thumb toward Callie, and Callie smiles brightly, putting her hands under her chin and fluttering her eyelashes.
“That would be me and my band of idiots.”
I laugh and shake my head, then look back at Sav.
“Next year, I’ll be bringing on more, so you’ll be able to hire people to work under you. The job would require some traveling, though, especially at first. You might have to do some tour stops, if that’s okay.”
When I don’t respond, her smile turns playful.
“Have I rendered you speechless?”
“I mean...I...I’m flattered, but...” I give my head a shake, then narrow my eyes. “Why me? You have no idea if I can do this level of work. You don’t want to at least put me through an interview or ask for references or my portfolio or something?”
Sav shrugs. “You’ve basically been doing a working interview since Stockholm. And Crue’s brother owns MixMosaic, so he works as a reference. He said your design presentation was the only reason they hired Innovation to help with their rebrand. He vouches for you. ”
My eyes widen. “MixMosaic is owned by Crue’s brother? Like, Caveat Lover Crue? That Crue? He’s related to a successful art broker?”
“I know, right?” Callie laughs. “I was shocked to hear it, too, but yep, our little baby Crue is from a very cultured bloodline, and his family is loaded.”
“I never would have guessed.” I look back at Sav. “So, you’ve just been checking up on me? For how long?”
She smirks. “Since about five minutes after we learned Jo’s dad was sending you as his babysitter. But it wasn’t until after you set up Jonah’s social media that the idea of hiring you came to me.”
I breathe slowly and drop my attention to my battered wood floor. I do love the floors in this apartment. The building is old, and the floors are original. It’s another thing I’ll miss when I move.
My mind starts to swirl with possibilities.
Working for Sav would mean I could stay in this industry. I don’t know what she’d pay me yet, but I’m certain it’d be enough that I wouldn’t have to leave the city. I wouldn’t have to switch careers. I wouldn’t have to uproot my life and change everything.
Change .
My eyes flutter shut on the word.
Everything is changing.
I make eye contact with Sav again. I give her a sad smile.
“Thank you, Sav, really. I appreciate the offer. But I’m going to have to turn it down.”
“Why?”
My brows jump. “I’m moving back to Virginia.”
“So?”
I chew my cheek, then shrug. “I just don’t think working in the music industry is for me, and I can’t commit to travel or touring at the moment.”
She smiles. “Is it because you’re pregnant?”
I gasp and whip wide eyes at Mabel. She throws up her palms.
“Don’t look at me! I’m a vault!”
I turn back to Sav, my eyebrows nearly hitting my hairline. “How?”
“You have prenatal vitamins on your sink.”
Callie laughs, then slaps a hand over her mouth, and I drop my forehead in my palm with a groan. Mabel drops her hand on my shoulder and rubs.
“If being pregnant is why you don’t want to accept the job offer, we can do most everything remotely,” Sav continues. “We can do video conferences, and I can come to you. I’ll even pay you maternity leave, Claire.”
I groan again. “It’s not that.”
“Well, if it’s about Conrad Henderson, I’m not afraid of him. He might be able to scare all these other companies out of hiring you, but I don’t give two fucks what he has to say. Honestly, it’s disgusting that he would treat the mother of his kid this way, but I guess I’m not surprised. What an asshole.”
A giggle bubbles out of me. I sit up and look at Sav and Callie. They’re so confused, and that just makes me giggle more. My emotions are such a rollercoaster, but I turn to Mabel and find her trying her best not to laugh, too.
Oh God, what a mess.
“Conrad Henderson isn’t the father,” I say slowly, bouncing my eyes between Sav and Callie. I don’t say anything else, but when Sav’s eyes widen, I know she’s figured it out.
“Oh shit, Claire.”
“Oh shit is right.”
“What?” Callie asks. “What am I missing?”
Sav arches a brow but doesn’t speak, so I give Callie the truth.
“Jonah’s the father.”
Her jaw drops. “Oh shit.”
I nod. “Yep.”
“Does he know? How far along are you? What are you going to do?”
“One question at a time, Cal,” Mabel says, but I wave her off.
“It’s fine. No, he doesn’t know. I’m about nine weeks. And I have no fucking idea.”
The room falls silent, and I feel the sting of tears once more.
“Sorry,” I say on a small laugh, running my fingers under my eyes. “Sorry, I’m really hormonal right now.”
“Babe, stop apologizing. We’re all a bunch of crybaby bitches here. You cry all you need.” Mabel throws her arm over my shoulders, and I lean into her before looking back at Sav .
“So, while I’m beyond flattered, now you know why working for Rock Loveless Records would be a bad idea.”
Sav purses her lips. “I think we need ice cream.”
She pushes to standing and crosses to my kitchen in four strides, then pulls open the freezer.
“Claire!” She turns back to me. “You have no ice cream?”
“I’m not an ice cream craving kind of pregnant person.”
She curls her upper lip. “Please don’t tell me you’re a pickle craving kind of pregnant person.”
“Pickles and mayonnaise. And those ranch flavored crinkly potato chips.”
Sav pauses, tilts her head to the side in consideration, and then shrugs. “I don’t hate it.” She ducks into the fridge. “Claire!” She turns around and holds up an empty pickle jar. “Claire Davis, you have no pickles.”
I laugh. “I know. I ran out this morning. I need to get to the store.”
“There’s a little bodega down the street, right?”
I glance at Callie and nod. “Yeah. Two blocks.”
She stands and walks to the door. “I’ll go with Red.”
“Red’s here? Where’s Red?” I look around the apartment as if that giant man could have gone undetected.
“He’s just downstairs,” Sav tells me, her voice muffled as she opens each of my cabinets. Then she turns to Callie. “Get some ice cream, too. And those ranch chips.”
“The crinkly ones!” I add quickly. “Only the crinkly ones. The others taste burnt.”
“On it. Be right back.”
After raiding my kitchen for bowls, spoons, and paper towels, then connecting her phone to my Bluetooth speaker to play her, as she put it, “happy bitch playlist,” Sav turns to study me with her hands on her hips. I sigh dramatically, then stand from the couch and take off the sweatshirt I was wearing. I turn to the side, lift my shirt, and smooth a hand down my stomach for good measure.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Sav grins at me. “Your boobs got bigger, but you still have abs.”
I laugh. “My boobs hurt like hell, actually, but I probably won’t show at all for a few more weeks. Oh, but...” I walk to the table and dig through my purse. “I have photo evidence.”
I wave the strip of ultrasound images in the air, and Sav grabs them from me. She studies each one, turning the photos around and tilting her head.
“What exactly am I looking at?”
Mabel laughs. “I said it looked like when my hamster had babies.”
“I’m told it’s a healthy nine-week-old human fetus, but honestly, who knows at this point.” I lift my shirt and flatten my palms on my stomach. “Could it be a hamster? A burrito? An alien? I have no idea.”
Mabel leans closer to my stomach, then looks up at me. “Can it hear me?”
I shake my head. “It cannot.”
“Can you feel it move?”
“I cannot.”
“So right now all you get is exhaustion, sore boobs, and pickles?”
I laugh and nod. “And crinkly ranch potato chips.”
“Which end is the head on this one?” I glance over and find Sav holding one of the ultrasound images close to her face. “I can’t tell, and it’s not labeled.”
She turns the image to me and points just as Callie knocks on the door.
“Come in,” I call out, and then I go back to studying the ultrasound picture. “Oh, that’s the head.” I frown. “I think.” I take the ultrasound and study it. I barely register the sound of the door opening and closing. “Oh yeah, that’s the head. See right here? It’s a little arm.”
“What?”
There’s a collective, sharp intake of breath, and I clamp my eyes shut.
No. This isn’t happening.
My fingers tighten on the ultrasound picture. I flex my toes into the floor, then slowly open my eyes and lift them to the doorway.
Jonah’s face is pale, his attention stuck on the strip of ultrasound pictures in my hand.
“Who’s pregnant?”
No one answers. I feel Sav and Mabel’s eyes on me, and just as I open my mouth to confess, the door behind Jonah opens .
“The guy behind the counter knew exactly what I meant when I said ranch crinkly chips, Claire.” Callie laughs as she steps into the apartment. “Seems your pregnancy cravings are famous in that bodega?—”
She freezes as soon as she sees Jonah, but Jonah doesn’t take his attention off me. His jaw pops and his nostrils flare as he drops his gaze down to my exposed, still-flat stomach. He swallows twice, that heart tattoo beating with the movement, then locks eyes with mine.
“Are you pregnant, Trouble?”
Slowly, I nod. “Yeah. I am.”