Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
SELENE
The great hall shrank around me as I stared at Bren, shocked into silence after learning Cillian had lied to me from the moment we’d met.
A slow breath eased from Bren as he watched me closely. “He may not know you’re specifically a ward witch. Or the danger that places you in. I would caution you not to tell him.”
My voice sounded as if it had come from somewhere far away. “This whole time. He knew, and he said nothing.”
The betrayal burned deep.
My mind raced through everything that had happened to me, from Aunt Kit’s refusal to come to Ireland, to me actually coming back to the homeland, and Cillian meeting me at the Trinity Library on my very first day.
“He hired me on the spot, knowing nothing about me. Or so I’d thought.
He said he appreciated the way I noticed architecture.
But it was because he knew I was different. ”
Bren nodded. “It’s true.”
“God,” I breathed. “This can’t be real. Is any of this real?” I focused on him with a hard stare. “Are any of you?”
He flinched, and clarity struck like lightning.
I sat back, and my words returned to a whisper. “He’s not entirely human either. Is he?”
Bren reached for his wine again and drank before he answered. “You’re right. He’s more than human.”
I waited for him to say more. When he didn’t, frustration pushed me past the shock. “Why are you holding back? Cillian and I are going to have it out the next time I see him, and there’s nothing you can do to protect him from that.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, almost into a smile. “Protecting him isn’t a concern of mine. He’s more than capable of handling himself.”
I leaned forward, my hands curling into fists on the table. “He tricked me. He lied to me.”
The pieces continued assembling, faster now, each one worse than the last. “He used me. He wanted me here at this castle all along. Why? Are the two of you in this together?”
Bren lifted both hands. “I can’t guess at his reasons, Selene. The man has his own agenda. It just happens to align with mine. There’s an understanding between us. Nothing more than that. We don’t confide in each other.”
A light huff of disbelief slipped from me. “An understanding.”
“About keeping you safe. About me keeping my distance.” His jaw tightened. “Beyond that, I don’t know what he’s planning or why. What I can say is that he does care about you.”
He shook his head as if it would return his better senses. “Not that I enjoy speaking kindly of him, mind you. But he is concerned for your safety, more than you might think. If you want the rest, you’ll need to ask him yourself.”
I sat back in my chair, flattening my hands against the table to keep from shaking. “Unbelievable.”
I let out a slow breath. “You can bet I intend to speak with him. And I won’t be kind.”
Bren stayed silent, watching me with steady attention, giving me room. I held his gaze for a moment and then looked away, toward the dark windows at the far end of the hall.
I hadn’t finished processing everything that had happened in the last week, and now there was this too.
I snorted my derision, picked up my glass, and finished what was left in it. “Apparently, I’m the only person in Ireland who doesn’t know what’s going on.”
Something in Bren’s expression softened, the corner of his mouth lifting into something gentler than amusement. I wanted to stay angry. I couldn’t manage it.
Then the question that had been brewing beneath it all finally came out. “What if these people, whoever opposed the Veil, whatever Gran called them…” I searched for the word and found it. “The Unbound. What if they come after me?”
Worry flitted in his eyes, but he didn’t convey it otherwise. “If Margaret is one of them, and she knows what you are, she’d have made her move already. She hasn’t.”
He held my gaze. “If I didn’t believe that, I’d say so. But don’t trust her. She has no reason to be coming and going from this castle without my knowledge, and I intend to find out why she did.”
It sank in that none of this was my fight. Maybe I didn’t belong in Ireland after all. Maybe my family was right to have escaped, and coming back had been my biggest mistake.
Maybe whatever I’d felt at the abbey—that voice, that sense of having arrived somewhere I was meant to be—had been wrong. “I should go home. Back to Washington.”
Bren widened his eyes in alarm. “That’s not a good idea. Please don’t leave Ireland, Selene.”
His voice held an edge I hadn’t heard from him before, something close to fear. “If no one knows what you are yet, leaving could change that. It might be like a dog flushing fowl from the rushes. Right now, they might wonder about you, but by running, you could give yourself away.”
The look in his eyes turned tortured. “If that happened, they’d follow you to the ends of the Earth, and I could do nothing. You need to stay close to me.”
Gran’s words echoed in my head again. Stay close to the guardian. “I’m just trapped, aren’t I? A target waiting to be noticed.”
“Don’t say that. You’re more than a target.”
He took a moment before continuing. “I’ll be honest with you.
I know little about ward witches. I’ve looked.
Most of what should exist has been erased.
Maeve’s grandmother and perhaps Nora, the people who carried these stories and who we can trust enough to ask, are our best chance at understanding you and what you’re capable of. ”
The flames atop the candles flickered with his movements, and for a long moment, neither of us moved.
The air over the floor stones hummed, faint and low, adding to the ripples of longing as it moved up through the soles of my boots and settled deep inside me.
Bren’s gaze dropped to the space between our fingers, and then back to my face. He drew his hand back fully and stood. “I should get you home.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice enough to speak.
The drive back was quiet, and I focused on the headlights carving narrow tunnels through the dark trees along the lane as my thoughts tumbled and tangled.
Bren kept both hands on the wheel, his eyes on the road, and I watched the hedgerows slide past in the dark. “Will you say anything to Cillian?”
He chuckled softly as he turned the car up the drive toward my boss’s house. The porch light came into view through the trees. “That conversation is yours to have, not mine. I pity the man.”
The way he said it left me with a smile, despite the past several days. Regardless of what happened around us, my heart hurt when we were at odds. We might not be able to touch, but we could talk.
I wanted nothing more than to hold him and kiss him, to feel his fingers slide down my cheek and into my hair again. To feel his lips brush against mine.
I cleared my throat, chasing away those thoughts. “Cillian deserves whatever is coming. I’m not one to lose my temper, but there are times, and this is one of them.”
He braked to a slow stop near the door and turned to me with an incredulous look, the lights from the house illuminating his tempting eyes. “Not one to lose your temper? Is that right?”
I sucked in a breath, but before I could argue, he covered my hand resting on the console and spoke first, smiling as he did. “I’m only teasing, A stór. Don’t get—”
All humor drained from his expression as he jerked his fingers away. The world froze for several seconds as we processed what had just happened.
“Fucking hell.” He slammed a hand against the steering wheel. “The gods be damned for making life so difficult.”
I forced a breath into my icy lungs. The electricity that had raced through me for that one delicious second was lost to immeasurable fear. I glanced out the window, wondering if we’d just tipped the scales into dangerous territory. “Are…are we okay?”
Bren released a deep sigh. “I’m all but positive we are. That small touch couldn’t possibly create the kind of ripple those drawn-out kisses did.”
My insides clenched at the memory, at the longing that echoed in his words. “All but positive isn’t exactly a yes.”
“It isn’t.” He scrubbed his jaw as he considered my comment. “Still, if that sent out a ripple, Cillian would call me and curse my blasted name.”
That we had someone who could tell us made me feel only slightly better. “What about between now and then? Can I even stay here anymore? Do I need to sleep on your couch?”
His snort was quick and sharp. “I don’t know if having you so close to my bed is a good idea right now. Just know, I heavily warded Cillian’s house weeks ago. Pissed him off while I was at it, which doubled the benefit.”
My heart clutched the meaning behind his words, the knowing that he wanted me too. But his reassurance wasn’t enough. “If your wards are that powerful, why haven’t you protected the castle? And the abbey.”
His expression darkened, and he dropped his gaze.
“It’s true. I haven’t, even though there have been many breaches in and around there.
But doing so will draw too much attention.
If anyone came here and sensed the wards, they would likely assume Cillian had them in place, and they wouldn’t directly tie them to me and you. ”
The hits kept coming, not giving me a chance to get my feet under me. “I am so lost, Bren. How can I fight against or hide from what I can’t see coming?”
His sadness filled what was left of the emotional space in the car. “I know. I’d whisk you away if I could. But don’t lose hope, okay?”
I searched his gaze, looking for a shred of anything to hold onto.
Bren lifted his chin, encouraging me. “You say you’re inexperienced, but that’s not quite true, is it? I’m quick to sense breaches, but you may be faster.”
He gestured with his head toward his side window. “My house is but a few breaths from here. If I didn’t believe you were absolutely safe, know that I wouldn’t leave you. Let’s wait for Cillian’s reaction. Let’s learn the battlefield before we make our plans, shall we?”
Battlefield? I didn’t want to admit it, but that’s where I was. Hiding for now, with no enemy in sight, but unsure if and when one would arrive. “Okay,” I said softly. “I can do that.”
Bren gave me a nod intended to bolster me, and I suppose it did the tiniest bit. “I’ll walk you to the house then and bid you goodnight.”
I nodded and opened the door, not waiting for him to get it for me.
We strolled side by side to the porch, close but not touching.
I placed my hand on the knob and lifted my gaze to his face.
I sensed his powerful presence and took comfort in knowing he watched over me.
“I realized I’ve been carrying the idea that much of this is your fault. ”
A genuinely wounded look dimmed his expression. “You must know I’d never purposefully hurt you. I couldn’t.”
I offered him a warm smile. “I know that now. I realized tonight that the danger I’m in isn’t because of you, the castle, or even being in Killarney.
My Aunt Kit always told me Ireland wasn’t good for my family whenever I mentioned visiting, but she never told me why.
Maybe even she didn’t know the reasons.”
I shrugged. “I guess deep down, I didn’t believe her. But now I understand. I unknowingly opened that door when I stepped off the plane. You’ve done nothing but try to protect me and help me. So, thank you for that.”
His gaze softened as he glanced between my eyes. “I’ll never be far away. Know that.”
His words hit deeper than expected, deeper than I was comfortable with.
I swallowed my emotions. “Perhaps Cillian had the same intentions. I’ll find out soon.
And then I’ll try to be brave as I go forward.
Maybe we’ll find solutions like we said, and I’ll listen to your counsel so that I don’t unknowingly make things worse. ”
Bren smiled then. “I like the sound of that.”
“Me too.” A smile spilled onto my lips. “I might kiss you now if I could, but I’ll go inside instead.”
He widened his eyes in surprise. “Ah, A stór. It’s cruel of you to say such things right before I head home to a cold bed.”
I grinned. “Sorry. Sort of.”
Bren’s eyes twinkled as he gazed across my face. “Goodnight, Selene. Sleep well knowing you’re protected and watched over.”
I nodded before turning the doorknob and stepping over the threshold. I glanced back and caught his gaze one last time before I closed the door.
So many questions remained, and so did the danger. But the sadness and frustration caused by the abbey incident had lifted. The possibility of a happy future in Ireland, doing what I loved without fear, and maybe with the man on the other side of the door, seeded deeply inside me.
That’s what would keep me moving forward.
I turned to the staircase and startled. Maeve stood staring at me with a concerned look. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Why does it feel as if the Earth just shifted beneath our feet?”