44. Ryan
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Ryan
My weekend with Chrissy was perfect, except for the tiny fact that I missed the hell out of a certain stepsister. Parker was working a shift, so I dropped Chrissy off at her aunt’s before texting Paige in hopes she’ll ask me to come over.
It’s not even sex I want.
Okay, I definitely want to have sex with her, but it’s so much more. It’s the fact that my heart is peaceful when I’m near her, and my head is silent. The head that is usually always on, ready to wreak havoc on me, is quiet when I’m near her.
Her response doesn’t arrive.
Maybe she’s busy.
The next day, there’s still no response. I check my phone after every delivery, triple text her, and still—nothing. By the time I’m done with my shift, I’m jumping out of my skin with the need to see her, talk to her. Not bothering to change out of my uniform, I head straight to her house.
Her car is parked out front, so I march my way to the front door. Just before I ring the doorbell, I consider the possibility of seeming like a lunatic for dropping by unannounced just because she hasn’t responded to a few texts, but it’s too late to turn back now.
My finger presses the doorbell, and the sound rings out. A minute passes with no response, so I press it again. A few minutes later, I finally hear footsteps approaching.
“Paige, hi,” I start to say, before noticing her bloodshot eyes and the mess of her hair. She’s wearing the same bathrobe she wore the first time I saw her, but now it’s riddled with stains.
She turns her head to the side, as if ashamed of me seeing her, which is ridiculous. She’s beautiful, even when obviously distressed.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, her voice hoarse.
“You haven’t answered my texts. And I kind of missed you. Are you okay? Are you sick?”
“No.” I’m not sure what that’s the answer to, but I decide it’s both.
“Can I come in?”
She shakes her head. “Sorry for not answering your texts, but I don’t think we should continue this thing between us.”
My head snaps back like I’ve been slapped. “What do you mean?”
She exhales before glancing up at me. “Are you in a relationship?”
My nose scrunches. “What? No.”
“Why does your real-estate agent seem to think so?”
“Isabelle? You know her?”
She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “She sold me my house.”
Shit. I told her I was in a relationship to get her off my back. “She was showing me houses… and she was coming on pretty strong. Eventually, I told her I was dating someone, so she’d drop it.”
“So you lied to her?” There’s a cool edge to her voice, one I haven’t heard ever since she accused me and my mom of leeching off her dad.
“Yeah, I guess I did. I thought it was letting her down gently. What’s going on, Paige? Why won’t you let me in?”
“Like I said, Ryan, this thing between us is done. I’d like you to leave now.”
“I don’t get it… I like you, Paige. What the hell happened?”
“I said leave.” Her bitter tone seeps into my bones, chilling me from the inside. I might have come here unannounced, but I won’t disregard her wish.
“Fine. I’ll go. But I want you to know I don’t want to go. I missed you, and I want to spend more time with you. I don’t know what the hell happened, but I’ll find out, and I’ll fix it. Okay? I’ll fix it, Paige.”
“I don’t want you to fix it. I want you to leave.” Her voice is now drained of energy, and I realize how exhausted she seems.
Not wanting to upset her further, I take a step back, and she closes the door in my face.
My heart sits heavy in my chest as I take a deep breath before turning on my heel. From the corner of my eye, I notice Linda in a pink skirt suit, standing at the edge of her driveway, offering me an awkward wave.
“Hi Linda.” I wave back.
“Is everything okay?”
“Not sure. You might know more than me.” Her mouth parts at my words, but I continue to my car, determined to get to the bottom of this.
Mom not being home messes with my plans, but I take a quick shower and call her.
“Hi, Mom. Where are you?”
“I’m at Roger’s. I left you some food in the fridge.”
I shake my head. Even though I’m a thirty-year-old man, perfectly capable of taking care of myself, she still makes sure to take care of me. “Send me the address, please. I need to talk to you.”
“Did something happen?”
“I’ll explain everything once I get there.” I’m probably offering more than I have, considering that I still have no idea what actually happened.
I park in front of a mansion. There’s no way this place can be called a house.
It looks like it’s home to at least eight bedrooms with adjoining bathrooms, as well as a pool and a pool house.
The mansion is gated, of course, but the door pings just a few seconds after I park in front of it.
I make my way down the driveway, noticing the manicured shrubs on both sides.
Mom and Roger greet me in front of the entrance.
“That’s some house you have here, Roger.”
“Thank you, son.”
“Enough with the chitchat,” Mom interferes. “What’s wrong?”
“Let the boy enter the house first, Kim,” Roger places his hands on her shoulders.
The house is as lavish on the inside as it is on the outside. The floor is covered in marble, a crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling, and there’s an actual spiral staircase right in the middle of the foyer. They lead me to the living room, tastefully decorated in different shades of tan.
As soon as my ass touches the soft cushions, Mom blurts out, “What happened, Ryan? I’m worried sick.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’m fine. I’m actually here to talk to Roger. About Paige.”
Roger’s eyebrows sharpen as my mom’s eyes widen.
My gaze drops to the fingers fidgeting in my lap. “Paige has suddenly stopped returning my texts, and after I went by her place to ask her what’s wrong, she told me she doesn’t want to continue with this.”
“This?” he asks, keeping a serious expression.
“Yeah, this. I think all of us here know something was happening between the two of us.”
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything, as far as I know.” I lift my hands in surrender. “An acquaintance of both of ours told her I’m seeing someone, but I explained that wasn’t the case. For some reason, it hurt her and broke the trust between us. Do you know why she’d react like that?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Did something happen to her? Why was she so against dating when we first met?”
“Sorry, son. I only know she was hurt after the breakup with her ex, but I don’t know the full story.
” His throat bobs with a swallow before he looks at my mom.
“To be honest, I wasn’t always there for Paige and Jordan.
Not in a way I was supposed to be.” Mom places her palm on top of his, gently caressing it.
“I hope to do better in the future, but for this, I think you’ll have to ask Jordan. ”
I nod resolutely. “Can you give me her number?”
“I’ll do you one better and let her and Emma know you’re coming.”
“Thank you, sir.”
He exits the room to call his daughter, and Mom escorts me to the exit. “You like her, don’t you?” she asks, her gaze seeing straight through me.
“Yeah, Mom. I really do.”
“Go get her then.” She winks, and my lips tip into a smile.
I’m buzzing with energy as I tap the door to what I hope is Emma and Jordan’s house.
“Hi.” Emma opens the door with a bright, warm smile and a flowy brown dress.
“Hi.”
She gestures for me to enter. Their house is full of colors and patterns, which is exactly what I imagined Emma’s house being.
Jordan, on the other hand, is a blob of black in the green and coral living room.
She sports black sweatpants and a black t-shirt as she crosses her ankle over her knee.
Still, when she notices me, the corner of her mouth twists into a smirk.
“Hello.”
“Hi,” I repeat.
“Come, sit down,” she tells me, showing me to a chair. “Would you like a drink?”
“No, thank you.” She lifts an eyebrow, already on the way to where I presume is the kitchen, so I add, “A beer, if you have one.”
She dips her chin and disappears into another room. Emma takes a spot on the couch, intertwining her fingers in her lap and staring at me expectantly. I scratch the back of my neck.
Jordan returns with three bottles of beer and three glasses. She places them onto the wooden coffee table, and I quickly chug a long sip, not bothering with a glass.
“So, Ryan… can you tell us why you’re here?” Jordan asks, pouring her drink into a glass.
“Well, uhm, Paige doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. And I have no idea what happened. I thought you might know why.”
The two of them share a glance before Jordan crosses her arms in front of her chest. “What did you do?”
A chill runs down my spine. If I wasn’t dead set on getting to the bottom of this, I’d be offended by everyone’s first guess being I did something wrong.
“Nothing, I swear. Everything was great, we were spending a ton of time together, I was falling head over heels for her, and now she won’t even talk to me.”
Their eyes widen to saucers. Emma lets out an, “Awww. Did you hear that, Jordan? He loves our girl.”
“That’s…not what I said.”
“That’s exactly what you said.” Jordan drops her tough act, showing me a toothy grin.
I don’t know why they are happy about this. Don’t they understand this is serious? “Regardless, it’s not really important since she won’t even talk to me anymore.”
“Au contraire, Ryan. It’s very important. Because now we know for sure it’s all in her head,” Jordan says.
“What’s in her head?”
Emma leans toward me. “Look… Paige had a horrible dating experience in the past. She was hurt.” My fists clench unintentionally, so she adds, “She was emotionally devastated. Trust is hard for her. She believes it’s impossible, but Jordan and I disagree.”
“But I haven’t broken her trust. I’d never.” Their grins grow even wider.
“We thought so, too. There might have been a misunderstanding,” Jordan says.
“We ran into a woman who told her you were in a relationship around the time you met,” Emma adds.
My head drops into my hands. “It was a silly lie to stop her from hitting on me, I told Paige as much. That can’t be the whole thing.”
Once again, they share a knowing glance before Jordan speaks, “She saw you dropping off a kid.”
My brow lowers as I try to make sense of things. She saw me dropping off Chrissy, but what difference does that make? “I don’t understand. My best friend’s kid spent a weekend at my place. We do that every month. Why would she be upset by that?”
Jordan places her glass on the table. “Paige was dating a professor at her college for four years.”
“Yeah, she told me that… What a dick.”
“She did?” Emma interjects, but Jordan continues talking, “You’re right.
Bradley was a dick for pretty much their entire relationship.
He was controlling and borderline abusive, but he did it in such a sneaky way that it was impossible to convince her he’s doing it.
He was in charge of what she’d write, where they’d travel, and that’s just the tip of it.
What she went through with him…” She shakes her head.
“Paige would kill me if I told you everything, but I need you to know she was devastated after it ended. He broke her trust not only in him but in the world around her. For months, she was barely functioning. Then, it was like a clicker went off. She started acting like her old self, but it was an act. She missed a key part of herself. Suddenly, she didn’t want to travel anymore, practically locked herself in her house, and promised never to date again. ”
I run a hand through my hair, slowly processing the new information. It’s exactly what I noticed the first time I saw her. Like she was hiding parts of herself underneath thick layers of something. Now I know that something is hurt.
Emma’s soft voice breaks through the fog of my thoughts. “The lie you told the real-estate agent and seeing you that day triggered that feeling. It made her realize she put herself at risk again and broke the promise to shield her heart from the world.”
“How do I fix it?”
Jordan scoffs. “I don’t know. I tried everything I could to help her but made no progress. The only time she did make progress was with you.”
“I think you need to take it slow. Not push her too hard, but not let her off the hook either,” Emma tells me.
“Right,” I mutter, leaning back into the chair. There’s more to uncover about the story, but no wonder she’s scared. Still, I don’t plan to let her go.
“For what it’s worth, we like you for her,” Jordan says.
“We love you for her,” Emma adds.
“Thank you for the vote of confidence. I guess I have some work to do.”
The wedding is in a week, which gives me seven days to come up with a plan. This is my chance to show her what she means to me, or risk losing her forever.