Chapter 16
Cooper
I put both trees in the bed of my truck and offered to deliver Aspen's to her apartment. I said I needed to check on work at the inn, so no one questioned me.
It was an excuse to see Aspen. After she'd come over to the house the other day, I told myself I'd keep my distance, but clearly that was impossible. I couldn't avoid her now when her family was the tie that bound us together.
Tomorrow, we'd have to pretend that there was nothing going on between us, but tonight I'd have her to myself.
After the last night we shared, I couldn't wait to spend more time with her. No matter how reckless it was.
I parked at the curb in front of Sweet Dreams Bakery and hefted her tree over my shoulder, taking the stairs to her apartment.
She followed, carrying the tree stand she bought at the tree farm.
I shifted the weight of the tree while I waited for her to unlock the door. She pushed it open for me to walk through. "Where do you want it?"
She closed the front door. "Let me see."
I set the tree on the ground while she opened the separate door to the deck. It was an enclosed space and every surface was covered in plants. "This is enchanting."
She was shifting pots around to make room for a tree, and she glanced up at me, a smile playing on her face. "Enchanting? I'm not sure I've heard you say that word before."
I had a feeling it was Aspen that was making my life look brighter. "You're rubbing off on me."
She set the stand in the space in the middle of the windows and asked, amusement tinging her tone, "Is that so?"
I moved to set the tree in the stand. "Can you hold this?"
"I'm the official tree holder today," she said dryly as she took the trunk from me.
I dropped to my knees to secure it. "Is it straight?"
She angled her head as she studied it. "I think so."
I secured the stand, then stepped back to check. I was pleased to see that it wasn't leaning in either direction. "Looks good."
She stood next to me and considered it. "It needs lights."
I looked around the room. "You have any?"
She nodded. "I bought way too many boxes of lights. The space was smaller than I was thinking."
The lights in this room were strung across the ceiling in neat rows, a few inches apart from each other.
"Make yourself at home," she said, then disappeared down the hall.
There was a cushioned couch and a few small side tables arranged around the room, which were covered with more plants. There were hanging pots and a few lining the ground. Instead of feeling crowded, it was a relaxing space.
Aspen returned with a box, setting it on the ground. She dropped to her knees, opening the flaps of the box, and pulled out the strand of lights. "Found them."
I took the strands from her, untangling them. "These lights are blue."
"Clara had them, and I couldn't resist." She stood and took the other end of the strand. "I can't reach the top."
"I can do it." I wrapped the strand around the higher branches, then moved lower. Then Aspen took over.
She carefully nestled the strands in the branches and continued until she reached the bottom. "I just need to plug them in."
She found a plug and sighed when the lights came on. "They look better than I imagined. I have to take a picture and send it to Clara."
While she snapped a picture, I was busy watching her, the way the lights illuminated her face, making her look like some kind of fairy.
There was something about being with her like this. It didn't feel quite real, as if I was playacting someone else's life.
She glanced up at me. "What do you think?"
I swallowed hard. I hadn't looked at the lights, just her. "Beautiful."
"I think so too." She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed. "Thanks for convincing me to get a tree."
Her breasts were pressed against my chest, and it was hard to breathe. Before I could wrap my arms around her, she stepped back. "I should make hot chocolate."
She disappeared into her kitchen, and I sat down heavily on the couch. The room was a great addition to the apartment, an escape from reality. But it wasn't the deck that made it that way; it was how Aspen had decorated it, surrounding herself with plants.
I felt like we were in the forest. If I listened hard enough, I'd hear the chirping of the birds.
A few minutes later, she returned with two steaming mugs. "Isn't it great out here? I spend most of my time on this couch."
I took the mug from her as she sat next to me. "You've done a great job with this space."
She cradled her mug. "I can't believe that tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I've been so busy with work—tackling one event, then the next—that I haven't processed that it's the holiday season."
"It's your busy season."
She nodded. "The holidays are something I have to manage as part of my job. It's hard to let that aspect of my work go so that I can enjoy it."
"You'll have to take breaks from work." That was something I told her brothers but almost never practiced for myself.
I didn't have a large family to spend time with.
I moved around the periphery of the Sterlings, not quite a part of the festivities.
It was easy for me to make an excuse and not be involved in everything.
Aspen sipped her hot chocolate. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"
I drew on the recent Thanksgivings and said, "I'll stop by your parents before dinner and, then after, take some leftovers to my mom."
She glanced at me. "I forgot that your mom still lives here. You almost never talk about her."
I was positive I never talked about her with the Sterlings. "Yeah, she's still living in the same house. I go by from time to time to ensure everything's good."
She rested her hand on my thigh. "That's nice you're still close."
My muscle contracted under her palm, thinking it was time to tell her the truth. "I wouldn't go that far. The situation with her is frustrating. She accepted Dad back into our lives no matter what he did."
She drew in a breath. “What did your father do?”
I wanted to tell her more about myself. “He only came around when there was something to take, usually money. Then he’d be gone again.”
Aspen turned slightly so that she could face me, her eyes wide. "You're mad at your mom?"
I thought about that for a few seconds. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"It's okay to be mad," Aspen said simply, and I let those words seep into my chest.
"I still send groceries and fix things around the house. She's family, you know?"
"There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. That just means you're a good man."
I stiffened. "Don't make me something I'm not. I'm not a hero."
Her eyes flashed with emotion. "Maybe to her you are.”
I scoffed. "I was a kid. I couldn't exactly go anywhere. I had to be there for her.
She sipped her hot chocolate, her gaze on the lights of the tree. "You could have left as soon as you were eighteen."
"My contacts were here. I'd have to start all over somewhere else." I didn't want to talk about my family. It never failed to make me feel less than. I wanted to get lost in her instead.
I set my hot chocolate aside and then did the same with hers. Her gaze met mine and held. I cupped her cheek, tipping her chin so that she was the perfect angle, then I kissed her, slow and sweet. She tasted like chocolate and heat.
She moved so that she was straddling me on the couch.
I pulled back so I could see her face. "Can anyone see us up here?"
She shook her head. "The plants block the view. No one walks behind the building."
That was all I needed to hear. I shoved her shirt up, and she accommodated my efforts by lifting it the rest of the way off. I pulled the cups of her bra down so I could suck on her nipples. She moved over my lap, rubbing against my dick, making me want to lose my mind.
I lifted her off and stood in order to remove my clothes while she did the same. I resumed my seat, and she straddled me again, her slick pussy now gliding over my aching dick.
There was something about doing this here, her happy place, surrounded by plants and her new tree. It was magical, almost dreamlike, and I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want to go to bed or for the sun to rise.
I wished we could stop time and stay in this place forever. I wouldn't have to deal with her brothers, or my job. We could pretend that nothing else existed.
The tip of my dick slipped inside her, and I was lost in the heat of her body surrounding mine. She sank down, taking all of me.
She slowly lifted, then sank down, setting her own rhythm. I was content to let her determine the pace, as I lavished her breasts with attention. I sucked on one nipple while I cupped her other breast.
Her lips were parted with pleasure and her eyes hooded.
I'd made her lose control like this. I gripped her tighter, moving underneath her. Thrusting to meet her movements. Needing more.
"Cooper—" she pleaded softly.
I circled her clit with my finger, and she lifted, then slammed down, chasing her release. The orgasm formed at the base of my spine, but I needed her to go over first. I sucked on her nipple, and she detonated, spasming around my dick, drawing my release from deep inside my body.
She rested her head against mine, her hands on my shoulders. "It's always like this."
It was probably because we were keeping this a secret. It gave it a clandestine feel which only heightened our desire. It didn't have anything to do with how I seemed to fall a little more for her each day we spent together.
When we came down from our high, I shifted her off me, then led the way inside so we could clean up. We ended up in her small shower, moving out of each other's way as we soaped our bodies and hair.
When we were done, we moved to her equally small bedroom, and I curled up on her bed. There was something to be said for tiny spaces. We were forced to be together. There was no moving away from each other.
I had to consider the fact that she might be the one for me, and I couldn't have her. There was no getting around her brothers. They wouldn't be okay with me seeing their younger sister. I was fooling myself if I thought otherwise.
I didn't see any future for us, outside our bedrooms. I didn't want to fall asleep and wake up to another day where we had to pretend nothing was going on. But tomorrow was Thanksgiving. The ultimate test. Could we act like everything was normal?
She softened against me, her breathing turning even. I couldn't move for fear of waking her. I was stuck in this prison of my own making, unable to move forward and not wanting to go backward.
Tomorrow, I'd have to pretend that she meant nothing to me. That she was just my friends' irritating younger sister. I wasn't sure I could keep up the charade or that anyone would believe the act anymore. So much had changed. She'd quickly become a part of me, the best part.
After years of feeling numb or disinterested, now I felt too much. Surely, anyone could see the emotions on my face.
Then there was the guilt. The Sterlings had taken me in when I needed them. And this was how I repaid them, by dating their daughter? They wanted Aspen to be happy and cared for. I wasn't the guy they'd want for her.
How could I be when I came from a dysfunctional family?
I slipped out of bed and found my phone in my jeans on the porch. I pulled on my briefs and opened the screen. There was a message from Emery.
Emery: I'm coming home tomorrow to see you and Mom.
Cooper: I thought you were going to stay at school.
We talked about her moving forward with her life and finding new friends and found family. There was nothing left for her here.
Emery: One of my friends is giving me a ride.
I’d hoped she'd be invited somewhere, but maybe she was like me and turned down every invitation.
Cooper: I usually eat at the Sterlings, then go to Mom's.
I wouldn't be at Mom's until later. She didn't cook anymore since it was just her.
Emery: I'll stay at Mom's. Don't worry about me.
I didn't want her to be alone, and I always worried about her.
Cooper: Mom doesn't cook anymore.
Emery: I'll figure something out.
It was too late to order a meal. I hoped that I could get more leftovers from the Sterlings to cover meals for both of them.
Cooper: I'll see if the Sterlings can spare more leftovers.
Emery: When are you going to stop thinking that you have to take care of me?
Cooper: Never
It was my job to take care of her. I realized that when my dad kept coming and going. I was the one to pick up the pieces. I was the one who got a job at fourteen and worked all the hours I was legally allowed to earn more money for groceries.
Emery: You're stubborn.
Cooper: I've been told that a time or two.
Emery: One day you're going to meet someone, and you can use all that protective energy on her.
Cooper: Not likely.
I swallowed hard because I was already there. And I wanted to give Aspen everything, my time and attention, my love and focus. But how did you do that when you weren't even allowed to be with her?
Emery: You're going to be the best husband one day, the opposite of Dad.
Cooper: How can you be so sure?
Emery: Because you'll do everything in your power to be the opposite of him.
I wasn't ready to believe her. Not yet. She looked up to me as any little sister would to a big brother. Especially given the circumstances we grew up in. But she couldn't know for sure that I wouldn't be like my dad.
Even if I thought I could be the man Aspen deserved, I'd be betraying my friends and her brothers. It was an impossible situation, one I never should have gotten involved in.
Aspen appeared in the doorway, her hair mussed and her eyes heavy with sleep. "What are you doing out here?"
I showed her the screen. "Emery's coming home."
A soft smile spread over Aspen's face, and she reached for me. "Come back to bed. I missed you."
How could I ignore that plea, even if the smart thing to do would be to get out of here, to forget about us?
I slipped into bed. This time she rested more of her body weight on top of me, and I fell asleep easily.