Chapter 17
Aspen
When I woke up, Cooper was gone. I remembered urging him to come back to bed in the middle of the night and how he'd held me. I'd lain awake for a bit, wondering what was bothering him so much that he couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but think that it was only a matter of time before he pulled away.
Was he worried someone would know that he was staying overnight? It was a small town, and gossip was a thing. But I didn't like it.
How long would he let this continue before he decided it was too much for him?
But today was Thanksgiving, and I wanted to enjoy the day with my family. I just wasn't sure how we were going to pretend that we meant nothing to each other. I was fairly sure I was falling for him more every day.
Would my brothers suspect something had changed?
I had to get through today, then maybe we'd see each other tonight, and I could figure out what was bothering him.
I got in the shower, remembering last night. How Cooper had soaped my body and my hair, making me feel cared for and adored. But our time together was limited, the end imminent. I needed to focus on one event, then the next, hoping for the best.
After my shower, I made coffee and carried my mug to the porch. Our hot chocolate mugs were gone. Cooper must have put them in the dishwasher. I loved that he did little things to take care of me. He said he wasn't boyfriend material, but I hadn't found that to be true.
I sat on the couch, curling my legs underneath me. The tree lights were still on, and warmth fogged the windows.
My phone buzzed.
Cooper: Sorry I didn't stick around. I was worried about the neighbors seeing my truck.
I wanted to say Then let them talk.
Aspen: I wish you would have stayed.
Cooper: Me too.
Cooper: I wasn't expecting my sister to visit.
That meant he'd spend less time at my family's and more at his. I wish I could be there with him. That we were a real couple, and I could share in his excitement and spend time with his family. But they felt off-limits to me.
Aspen: Are you okay with that?
Cooper: I told her to stay at school. I was hoping she'd accept an invite from one of her new friends. But she didn't.
Aspen: Maybe she missed you.
Cooper: I don't want her to come home. What if Dad shows up?
My heart warmed at his protective instincts for his sister.
Aspen: You shouldn't have to worry about that.
Cooper: My dad is no good. I don't want him to hassle you or the other Sterlings. It has to be like this. I won't compromise my relationship with your family.
I shouldn't push. It would only make things worse.
Aspen: I know.
Cooper: We have to pretend that nothing is going on between us today.
I wished it could be different. That he'd stayed in my bed, and we’d eaten breakfast together. Then we'd go over to my parents, then after dinner, to his mom’s. He was ashamed of his upbringing. But I accepted every part of him. Too bad he couldn't see that.
Cooper: Your brothers can't find out.
His text had a frantic quality to it, and I wanted to reassure him.
Aspen: They won't.
I hated having to pretend that he meant nothing to me, but it was what he wanted. And there was no way my brothers would be okay about us dating. They'd feel like we went behind their backs, which we had.
It was going to be a long day of pretending, but I'd protect Cooper.
I snapped a picture of the tree and sent it to him, captioning it:
Aspen: Wish you were here.
Cooper: It looks great. I'm putting up my tree now.
I'd almost forgotten that he'd gotten one too. A few minutes later, he sent a picture of his tree in front of his living-room window.
Aspen: Perfect.
Cooper: I don't have blue lights for mine.
Aspen: White will look nice too.
Cooper: We have a few more hours of quiet, then it will be chaos.
Aspen: Speak for yourself. I have to go over sooner to help my mom cook.
Cooper: Good luck.
Aspen: Hopefully, no one gives me a hard time about my job this year.
Or the lack of a boyfriend. I wasn't looking forward to the pressure to go on blind dates or any dates, for that matter. I felt like I was taken, even if it wasn't true.
The texts stopped, and I finished my coffee before heading to my parents’ house. I'd help Mom prep the food. My brothers would pop in with their significant others. It would be loud and chaotic, and I would love every minute of it.
Hopefully, Mom would be too busy planning for the future filled with weddings and grandbabies, and she wouldn't harp on my situation.
When my brothers arrived, there was the usual joking and teasing. The entire atmosphere was lighter this year, probably because there were more women. Mom was looking forward to having another grandchild, and there were more weddings on the horizon.
"One of the women in my yoga class has a son your age. Thad just moved here to be closer to her and doesn't know many people. He didn't grow up here," Mom said.
"And you told her I'd show him around?" I hated the sound of this.
"He's eager to get to know people."
"Good for Thad," I said dryly, and Ford chuckled. I glared at him because he didn't have to put up with this.
Cooper wandered into the kitchen. "What are we talking about?"
"Mom setting Aspen up on a blind date," Ford said from his perch on the stool, amusement tinging his voice.
"It's not a blind date," Mom insisted.
I leaned a hip against the counter. "What do you call it then?"
She waved her hand. "You're showing him around town."
Ford chuckled, but Cooper's eyes narrowed. Was it awful that I liked him to feel a little jealous? It might be worth enduring this conversation.
"I'm pretty busy with work right now. Maybe after the holidays." Or maybe never. Hopefully, she'd forget all about her promise by then.
"Surely, you have time to help out a friend." Mom pushed the bowl of potatoes toward me, and I dutifully started peeling them.
At least I had something to do with my hands. "You know how busy I am with the town's event planning." And I spend all my spare time with Cooper.
Mom gave me a disapproving look.
I sighed, looking away.
"We're trying to get the bathrooms renovated in time for the winter ball. Aspen's been working hard getting everything ready," Cooper said.
My eyes widened at his support. He'd never stood up for me in front of my family before, and it wasn't a good idea.
Ford looked between us. "You two call a truce?"
I forced a smile while giving Cooper a warning look. "We have to work together now. Be professional and all of that."
"You shouldn't be working so hard," Mom continued.
"I thought you wanted me to have a full-time job?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"This job has you working nights and weekends. You barely had time to go to the tree cutting yesterday."
"I like this job, and I want to keep it." I wondered when I was going to stop caring whether my mom supported my decisions.
Mom fell silent, and I knew she wasn't done pushing me toward this guy. Whether it was to help this man or more of an attempt to set me up with an eligible single guy, I wasn't sure. Either way, I didn't want to do it. I was too busy to add anything else to my schedule.
"How's the renovation going?" Ford asked Cooper.
It was the perfect diversion, because Cooper launched into the current outline of the progress.
I listened with half an ear, noting that Cooper sounded competent and passionate when he talked about work. His job was important to him. He was a good man. It was too bad he didn't think he deserved more in his personal life.
It was like our family was the best he could hope for. My brothers would get married and have kids, and he'd be perpetually single.
My heart clenched at the idea of us not seeing each other anymore. I knew we had to break up or at least put a stop to whatever we were doing. How could I be expected to see him all the time at family dinners and holidays and not feel anything?
Would I be okay if he started seeing someone else? Someone who wasn't off-limits?
I hated the idea of him with someone else, which was ridiculous. I didn't have a claim on him. I peeled the last potato and gave Mom the bowl so she could put them in the mixer.
Everyone was still talking about the design for the bathroom, so I slipped out and went upstairs to get a few minutes to myself.
I closed the door to my bedroom. Since I was the only girl, I didn't have to share a bedroom.
I sat on my old comforter, taking in the pictures on the wall. What had I wanted out of life in high school? I couldn't recall any clear goals. Maybe it was just to be happy. And I was, wasn't I?
There was a soft knock. Then the door opened.
Cooper slipped inside, closing and locking the door.
I stood. "What are you doing in here?"
He pulled me against him. "I wanted to see you."
I rested my hands on his chest, my heart rate picking up. "Did anyone see you come upstairs?"
"I'll tell them I needed to use the restroom." His voice was low and gravelly.
"Don't you think this is risky?" I asked him.
He lowered his lips to mine. "Worth it."
He kissed me, and I twined my arms around his neck. The thought of getting caught in my childhood bedroom only heightened my desire. What were we thinking?
We were risking a lot by being in the same room together. No one would think we were fighting if they found us kissing.
He pulled back slightly. "As much as I want to fool around with you in your childhood bedroom, I'll behave."
I bit my lip. "What if I don't want to be good?"
His eyes flashed. "Are you sure? If we get caught—"
I didn't want my family to find out about us, because it wouldn't be good for Cooper. But I wanted to forget about that conversation with my mom in the kitchen. "I want to feel good."
"I can help with that." He unbuttoned my jeans and slid his hand into my panties. "This reminds me of being a teenager. We only have a few minutes. You think you can come on my fingers?"
I nodded shakily.
"You have to be quiet." He eased his fingers between my folds and sliding one inside of me.
"I can be quiet," I whispered as he worked his finger.
"We'll see about that." He dropped his mouth to mine, and all I could think about was how good it felt to have his fingers inside me.
He made me forget everything when he was near. All sense of reason disappeared. I forgot about my family downstairs and their opinions about my life. I held onto his forearms, needing to ground myself.
His mouth dropped to my neck. "Are you close?"
I arched my neck, giving him better access. "Yes."
He added a second finger; his thumb pressed against my clit.
The waves of pleasure washed over me, making me shake and tremble. I leaned against him as he continued to finger me through the aftershocks. He held me close while I came down from the high.
I moved my hands lower, intending to take care of him, but he caught my wrist. "Are you sure?"
"I want to make you feel good."
His eyes heated, and he let go of my wrist.
I slowly unbuckled his jeans, lowering the zipper, then fell to my knees.
His gaze tracked my movements, and he held his body very still, as if he was afraid I was going to walk away at any second.
I tugged his jeans down and pulled him out of his briefs. I gripped the base of his hard dick and licked the head.
His hips jerked, and I licked some more, determined to drive him crazy.
I was on my knees in my childhood bedroom sucking off my brothers' friend. It was the stuff of fantasies, except I'd never had this particular one growing up. Cooper had been just one more irritating boy. He was so much more now.
Now that I’d gotten to know him better, I knew he was worthy. He deserved everything, but this was all I could give him. He'd never allow us to bring our relationship into the open. Not when he had so much to lose.
This was the naughtiest thing I'd ever done, and the hottest. I sucked him into my mouth, and his hand landed in my hair. His fingers sifted through the strands, his eyes filled with heat and affection.
I sucked hard, knowing that we didn't have a lot of time, and I didn't actually want to be caught. It would be the end of us. His hips moved imperceptibly as he chased his release. I doubled down on my efforts, jerking him with my hand and sucking him into my mouth.
I took him deeper than I'd ever taken anyone, wanting to make him feel as good as he made me feel. He tapped my shoulder, probably a warning that he was going to come in my mouth, but I stubbornly refused to pull off.
If this was the only time we'd get to live this particular fantasy, then I was going to go all out.
His head fell back, and he thrust, cum filling my mouth. I swallowed him down, then sat back on my heels.
He tucked his dick into his briefs and held his hand out to me. He pulled me tightly against his body, his mouth in the strands of my hair. "That was—"
I laughed softly. "Amazing. Incredible."
"Something like that. I don't think I can go downstairs anytime soon."
"You want me to go first? Then you can follow?" I asked, feeling lighter now that we'd shared that in my room where I remembered who I was.
He sighed. "I want to stay here for the rest of the night."
I smiled. "But it's Thanksgiving. People will notice we're missing."
He groaned. "I know."
I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. "I'll see you downstairs." Where we wouldn't be able to touch each other or even talk. Any slipup could be the end of us.
I let go of him and moved toward the door. I'd have to go to a bathroom and fix my hair and clothes. No one else was upstairs, hopefully, no one realized we were gone.
In the bathroom, my cheeks were flush and my eyes bright. I liked being with Cooper. I was getting to the point where I was feeling like it might be worth it to tell my family. To see how they took it. Or heck, who cares what they thought? If we were happy, wasn't that all that mattered?
Except my biggest barrier was Cooper. He'd never agree to tell my family, which meant that, at some point, one of us would have to make a decision.