Chapter 18
Cooper
I enjoyed being with Aspen, but it couldn't go anywhere. If her brothers found out, it would mean the end of my job and our friendship. I’d lose the second family I'd come to love as my own.
There was too much at stake to risk it. The voice inside my head wanted to know why I had to walk away from the woman I was falling in love with. It wasn't fair.
No one thought I was capable of emotions when it came to relationships, but I was feeling everything with Aspen. It was overwhelming and scary. But I wasn't sure I could do anything about it.
Her brothers wouldn't understand how I betrayed them. And I couldn't bear to see the pain and disappointment in Maria and Matt's eyes.
I was an idiot for getting involved. But I didn't want to walk away. I kept putting off the inevitable, falling more for her each day. It wasn't going to get easier. It was only going to get harder.
When I felt more normal, I ducked into the hallway bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, then washed my hands.
Hopefully, no one would know what I was up to.
The crazy part was that her brothers probably wouldn't suspect me of sleeping with their sister.
They trusted me, and I was betraying that trust.
I slowly made my way downstairs, not looking forward to pretending that Aspen still irritated me. I saw the woman that her parents and brothers couldn't. The one that was so capable and confident. Who knew exactly what she wanted, to be happy and fulfilled.
She was guided by feelings, not expectations. And I loved that about her. The thought that I loved her hit me as I made it to the bottom step, making me pause.
I loved Aspen Sterling. The one woman I couldn't have. But I let that feeling wash over me. I sensed that I'd always love her, no matter what happened between us.
The family was sprawled throughout the house now, in the living room, the kitchen, and a few on the porch. I moved into the living room, hoping to escape notice for a while.
Hudson's hand landed on my shoulder. "Where you've been?"
I shrugged him off. "I wasn't feeling good."
He raised a brow. "You want to head out?"
"I'm hoping it passes." It was the perfect excuse for me being upstairs and out of sight for a while. I just hoped that Aspen hadn't used the same excuse.
He pouted. "Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same without you."
"How long have I been coming over for the holidays?" I mused.
"Forever," he said with a grin.
A chill passed through me at the idea that I wouldn't be welcome if he knew what I'd done with his sister upstairs. "Your family's been good to me."
"Eh. We like you for some reason," he teased.
Was it time to share more of my life with them? "Emery's home. I'm going to head out a little early to spend time with her and my mom."
He frowned. "You okay being over there?"
"As long as my dad doesn't show up." It felt good admitting that to him.
"If he knew what was good for him, he'd stay away," Hudson said, his jaw tight.
When I’d told him about my family, I didn't expect him to feel so strongly about it. "He only cares about what he can get from someone. And he uses my mom's love for him to take things from her. I wish that she'd realized a long time ago that it wasn't love.
"You deserve better. Emery too. You should invite her over here."
"Are you sure?" I'd never mixed Emery and the Sterlings. They were something I always kept for myself. But I wasn't a kid anymore. The only way I'd lose them was if they found out about Aspen.
"Mom won't mind. She'd love to get to know her."
"Okay." I pulled out my phone as Hudson moved toward where Ayla was playing a card game with Maverick.
Angela was sitting on a nearby recliner, touching her stomach and smiling at her family.
At that moment, I wanted to see Aspen's stomach swollen with my child. The vision was so real; it was hard to breathe. I hadn't thought I wanted a family. In fact, I'd decided I shouldn't bring a child into this world. But maybe I could with Aspen, and that had to mean something.
My fingers fumbled, bringing up Emery's contact information.
Cooper: You want to come over for dinner at the Sterlings?
Emery: You've never invited me there before.
Cooper: Hudson said I should.
Emery: If you're sure. I wouldn't want to intrude.
Cooper: Maria will be excited to talk to you.
Emery: Okay.
I looked forward to sharing a part of my life with the Sterlings. For so long, I'd kept them separate. Hell, maybe my mom could come over one day too. Maybe the Sterlings would rub off on her, and she'd realize she deserved something better.
But that was crazy. If the Sterlings found out that I was sneaking around with Aspen, I wouldn't be welcome here. It would confirm what I'd always suspected, that I came from a family that wasn't any good.
But for tonight, I was introducing them to my sister. I wondered what she'd think of them. Emery texted when she arrived, and I went outside to greet her.
She grinned as soon as she saw me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I've missed you so much."
I held her tight. "You ready to meet everyone?"
"I went to school with them. I've just never been in their house." She pulled away and looked at the colonial home. "Are you sure about this? You've always kept your friendship with them separate from our family."
"I'm positive." I was excited to introduce her to the family that had come to mean so much to me.
I opened the door and let her precede me inside.
Hudson saw Emery and came over to greet us first. "Welcome to our crazy house. How are you?"
"I'm good. Just got home from school."
"How are you liking college?"
She smiled. "It's so much fun."
I wanted her to study hard and get good grades, but I knew there was a social aspect to school that she had a right to enjoy. I just hoped she was keeping up with her studies.
Angela and Ayla approached, and I started the introductions. We ended at the kitchen, where Mom was directing everyone to put the platters and bowls on the large dining-room table.
When Maria saw Emery, she grinned and moved over to us. "I'm so glad you could come."
"Hudson said it would be okay," I assured her, wondering if I should have asked her first.
"Of course it's okay. The more the merrier." Maria pulled Emery in for a hug, and I relaxed.
Then she ushered her over to the table. "Tell me everything. How are you enjoying college?"
Even though Maria hadn't talked to Emery before, she liked her because she was my sister. Why hadn't I done something like this before? Emery had her own friends, and I wanted something for myself. But she could have enjoyed the Sterlings too.
We sat at the table, Emery next to me and Aspen across from me. Aspen talked to Emery, asking her questions about school and her major.
There weren't any sharp back-and-forths or animosity. They were enjoying each other's company. And it wasn't weird or awkward that Emery was here this year. Plus, it took the pressure off pretending Aspen wasn't anything to me.
Maverick focused his attention on Emery. "Now, why didn't you come over when we were all in high school?"
I put my arm around Emery's chair protectively. "You think I'd let you near my sister."
Maverick's eyes flashed with amusement. "Relax. Everyone knows sisters are off-limits."
That comment made me tense. I clearly crumpled that memo and thrown it into the trash can.
My brothers were safely paired off with significant others now, so I didn't have to worry about any of them taking advantage of Emery. But I could see how it might have been nice to include her sooner. "She's here now. That's all that matters."
Maria nodded her approval. "Emery, you're welcome anytime."
Maverick grinned wider. "With or without your lug of a brother."
"Hey, watch it." I was used to their ribbing though. It meant that they liked me.
"Your mother is welcome too," Maria said casually as if it wasn't a big deal.
I wasn't sure about bringing my mother here. It was a nice idea, but she tended to attract my dad. And if he got wind of her hanging around the Sterlings, he'd smell money. I couldn't let that happen, and I didn't want him to embarrass me.
But I kept those thoughts to myself. "Thanks for the invitation. I'll pass it along."
"I'm grateful that everyone is here under one roof and that we're going to have another grand baby very soon."
"I'm going to be a big sister," Ayla said proudly.
"You're going to be an awesome big sister," Hudson said with his arm over her chair.
Conversation started around us, and Emery leaned closer. "They're great. I can see why you kept them to yourself."
"I shouldn't have."
"I know why you did. I had my own methods of escape."
She had sleepovers at friends' houses all the time back then. It made me feel good that she was safe and protected, far away from my father. Thankfully, he didn't spend much time with her. He was more interested in Mom and me because we worked and had money he could steal.
Hopefully, he was in our past, and we could relax and enjoy time with the Sterlings guilt-free.
It was hard to imagine being here and not being with Aspen. Would it feel weird? I didn't want to think about a time when I had to pretend I didn't care about us breaking up.
"How's school?" I loved these updates. They were confirmation that I'd done one good thing in my life in supporting Emery.
She smiled. "I love it. I'm thinking about moving into an apartment next year with a few friends."
She'd talked to me about this, but it wasn't my choice to make. I just hoped she'd be safe since she was still living on campus.
"We'll have to talk about getting you a car."
Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?"
I felt Aspen's gaze on us. "Don't most juniors have cars?"
She looked down at her plate as if she was afraid to say it out loud. "Well, yeah, but I wasn't sure we could afford it."
I shrugged. "I only have myself to support."
She gave me a look. "You're paying part of my tuition. You're doing more than enough."
"I want to buy you a car." I glanced up and Aspen was watching us carefully.
She sighed. "Okay."
I wanted to take care of Emery. I'd never clear that compulsion. Aspen was quickly filling that space in my heart too. Except she wasn't mine and never would be.
"You haven't heard from Dad, have you?" I couldn't help but ask. The possibility of him showing up on her campus was always in the back of my mind.
She rolled her eyes. "Why would he contact me? I don't have anything for him."
I winced. "I'm sorry you had to see that growing up."
"I survived," she said casually, as if it wasn't a big deal.
"But you shouldn't have had to deal with him."
"But look where we are now. I'm in college, and you have a business to run." Emery grinned. "Speaking of work, I'm thinking about getting a part-time job. We'll need to pay for food for the apartment."
I bristled. "I can give you whatever you need."
Emery rolled her eyes. "I want to earn money. I promise I won't work too many hours."
I sighed. "If you make your schoolwork your priority."
She grinned. "I'm going to waitress at a restaurant just off campus. The tips are supposed to be good."
"I'm glad you're enjoying school." And everything that came with it. I wasn't jealous that she got to go when I didn't. I liked my current job, and this was the right move for her.
"There's so many social events, activities, and clubs in college. It was too much for me. It was hard to focus on classes," Aspen said.
"I'm really enjoying it. I've been playing tennis. It's just a club, but the coach asked if I'd come out for the team."
"You're kidding." We never played sports growing up because they cost money.
She nodded. "What do you think?"
"As long as it doesn't interfere with your classes," I repeated my mantra. Sometimes I felt like I filled the father role for her. At least she had someone to look after her. Mom certainly didn't support her ambition to go to school.
Morgan shook his head. "Who knew you'd be the guy encouraging people to go to class?"
"What's the difference between that and supervising you?" I shot back.
He chuckled. "I suppose you're right."
I was good at managing people and projects, and I enjoyed it.
When dinner was finished, we cleared the dishes while Maria and Aspen cut the pies and placed them on plates.
We ate dessert in the kitchen, standing up.
It was nice to be here with someone from my family. I'd always kept them separate, but nothing bad happened when I included Emery. In fact, it made everything better.
After dinner, I said my goodbyes and left with Emery. Maria walked outside with us, handing us a huge box of leftovers for our mom.
"Next time, invite your mother. I'd like to meet her."
"I'll do that," I promised.
"I'm so grateful for you." Maria hugged me, then Emery. "You're welcome anytime."
"Thank you for a lovely dinner, Mrs. Sterling."
She waved her hand at us. "Call me Maria."
I felt a little twinge of guilt for what I was doing with Aspen. This woman had welcomed both my sister and me into her family, and now she was including my mother. She had a huge heart, and I was hiding something from her.
It still wasn't enough to get me to walk away from Aspen, not yet. But our time was limited. We got into our vehicles and headed toward the trailer park.
We both parked in the small driveway and knocked before we entered.
"Mom, we're here, and we have food."
Mom turned down the TV and came into the kitchen. "You both went to the Sterlings?"
"Mrs. Sterling invited you to come next time."
She pursed her lips. "Did she now?"
Emery opened the box, revealing turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes. "She was happy that I was there and asked about school."
Maria acted more like a mother should than our own did.
"Maybe you should be eating dinner here and not at the Sterlings," Mom chided.
"There's nothing wrong with adding more people to your tribe," Emery said easily.
She was always better with Mom, seamlessly maneuvering her where she wanted her to go.
I grabbed a plate for Emery so she could dish out the leftovers. Then I made coffee, and we sat at the table, eating a second slice of pie while Mom ate the Thanksgiving feast.
"This is good," Mom said.
I sighed. "The Sterlings are good people. They've always been there for me, and I'd like you to meet them."
Mom was quiet for a few seconds, and then she said, "Okay."
I let out the breath I'd been holding. Maybe this could work. We could forge a new future for our family, along with the Sterlings.