Chapter Forty-Four
Maya
Breathe in for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
Out for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
I’m on my fifty-second repetition when the door creaks open and then closes again. My heart ratchets up as I realize only one man is coming down. The blond comes into view, and my stomach sinks.
“You nearly had Brett,” he says, his voice dripping with condescension. “Did you know it used to be your daddy who broke in the new whores? He had a talent for it, really. I’m not sure I’ll have quite the same finesse, but I’m going to have so much fun trying.”
This time, I can’t stop the bile that rises in my throat. My stomach clenches, twisting into knots, and a cold sweat breaks out across my forehead. I try to swallow, to force it down, but it’s no use. I wretch, emptying the contents of my stomach onto the floor of my cage.
He recoils before walking away, leaving me confused and terrified in equal measure. When he returns, he has a bucket of sloshing liquid in hand. I brace myself and squeeze my eyes shut as the icy water sloshes over me, stealing my breath and leaving me saturated and shivering.
Then he wrenches the gate of the cage open, reaches in, and grabs my leg. Agony shoots through my shoulder, and a piercing scream erupts from my throat. I try to kick out at him at first, but when he extends a claw on one finger, I freeze.
My racing heartbeat and rapid breathing slow to a shallow near halt. My body feels heavy and not my own. A distant part of me knows my parasympathetic nervous system is shutting down. Trying to protect me when no protection is here.
He slices into my skirt, the tearing of fabric harsh and loud in the bare basement.
Tears well in my eyes and defeat settles into me.
I look to the side, refusing to watch what he’s about to do.
I focus on my breathing and try to imagine I’m somewhere else.
My mind is slow and sluggish, struggling to focus on being anywhere other than here.
I flinch when I hear the clink of a belt buckle opening and close my eyes as my body shakes with sobs.
I’m in Lunar Eclipse, my tiger running free in the woods. I smell the pine and fir, the freshness of the air I had never experienced while living in the city.
The belt slides through the loops of his pants, a shushing sound at odds with the image I try to paint for myself.
I’m not stuck in this dingy basement; I’m out in the wild. My paws hit the undergrowth and pound the forest floor as I race toward the lake. The cool water envelops me as—
I scream when pain lances across my chest, pulling me from the numbness and the visualization.
“Fucking look at me, bitch,” he snarls, raising the belt again before bringing it down hard across my chest. My feet scramble for purchase; adrenaline floods me once more. And then he’s gone. A brown blur crashes into the blond, throwing him off me and across the room.
Ryan.
A sob, thick and ragged, lodges itself in my throat. He came. I’m not on my own. He’s here. A tidal wave of pent-up feelings rushes through me. Joy, gratitude, disbelief, and a profound, bone-deep sense of security. He came.
Sofia lands beside me, and her hands, warm and firm, help me to a seated position on the cold concrete floor. She’s talking to me, her voice a soft murmur, asking me questions I can’t answer. Because I can’t understand her words. I can’t process anything else; every part of me is focused on Ryan.
Across the dim, mildew-scented space, the guttural snarls and tearing sounds of Ryan’s wolf fill the room, a violent symphony in the formerly quiet space.
The sharp, metallic tang of fresh blood cuts through the stale air, mingling with the decay.
The blond man lies still, a broken puppet with unseeing eyes, yet Ryan’s wolf continues its savage work, the sickening rip of muscle and the crack of bone echoing in the confined, dank chamber.
Someone hands something to Sofia and she continues to try to talk to me. Her words can’t permeate my shell as I watch my mate, though. My eyes are fixed on him as he exacts his revenge.
“Maya,” Sofia shouts as she positions herself between Ryan and me, breaking through my trance. I snarl at her to get away, to stop blocking me. “I need to reset your shoulder,” she argues, “or it’ll start healing like this.”
I nod, and she moves beside me again. Fast, so fast, she unlocks the cuff and rotates my arm. I hold my breath as the strain builds until a sharp tearing pain rips through me as she pushes it back into place. I let out a harsh gasp of agony, and then the relief hits me almost instantly.
And with it, my tiger returns. Her presence warms me instantly, shouldering some of the pain and trauma of the night. Wrapping me in strength, safety, and longing.
The sound of my gasp pulls Ryan’s attention away from the desecrated corpse.
His eyes gleam golden as he lifts his head to me.
Blood drips from his mouth and coats his fur.
His breathing comes out in harsh pants, turning to steam in the cold space and swirling around him.
He is a picture of destruction and uncontrollable rage.
But his eyes tell me a different story. Because underneath all the raw, feral energy and vengeance, it’s fear I see.
It’s in the widening of his eyes and how they shoot around the room looking for an escape.
He looks lost. And with my tiger back, I can smell the regret and fear emanating from him over the other scents in the dingy basement.
And somehow, I know he’s afraid that I won’t want him anymore.
I can practically feel his emotions thrumming inside me.
“Ryan,” I whisper, “I need you.”
He folds over, his head bowing before shifting into his human form.
Blood covers his skin, and deep gashes cut into his flesh.
He crawls toward me as the others retreat back, giving us this much-needed moment of connection.
His gaze remains downcast as if he can’t bear to look at me.
As if after all of this, I could ever reject him.
“You came for me,” I murmur, cupping his face with my uninjured hand. He lets out a slow exhale and leans into my touch, his skin sticky from the blood of my fallen enemies.
“I will always come for you,” he says, and I can feel his sincerity. How he means every word.
“I’m so sorry I left,” I say. As if an apology comes anywhere near to making up for the events that transpired after I panicked and ran away from him. “I knew as soon as I got back to my place that it was a mistake. I understand why you didn’t answer my calls. I pushed you away...”
“No, that’s not what happened,” he says, his voice firm and sure.
“If I’d had my phone with me, there’s nothing that would stop me from answering.
It’s just when you left, I lost it. I couldn’t stay in my human form.
I didn’t want to tell you before and take the risk that it would change things.
But male wolf shifters are susceptible to something called moon madness without their mate.
That’s what’s been happening to me. I’m so sorry, Kitten. I should have been with you.”
My chest aches as he talks. The sincerity in his voice is palpable and it has my tiger whimpering and needing to be close to him.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him, running my thumb along his cheek. “You were right. I should never have met Brett. He’s a monster. I don’t need my birth family. I need my parents, the ones who raised me. And Pippa and Maddie. Sofia and the pack. But mostly, I need you.”
Ryan closes his eyes, a softness settling into his features that I’ve only seen before when he was sleeping in my arms.
“Let's get out of here,” he says, and I can’t think of a single thing I want more than to leave this place and never look back.
“Sorry to interrupt the reunion, which I’m really happy about, by the way,” Sofia interjects. “But you need to shower, Ryan. You get stopped by humans on the drive home looking like a Carrie reject and you’re going to end up arrested.”
“That’s a good idea,” I agree. “I could do with cleaning up too.”
Ryan nods and stands before turning to Sofia. “Can you help Maya up? I don’t want to get blood on her.”
My insides melt at the thoughtfulness. Even in this crisis, he remembers what I need and prioritizes it. I grasp the remnants of my skirt and get up from the floor. My legs are shaking, and my shoulder throbs with a lingering ache.
“Maya, you should probably know something before going up there,” Sofia says softly. “Brett Lo is dead, and Michael Lo is… incapacitated.”
I don’t know how I feel about it. Brett was happy to send me to a fate worse than death. And Michael didn’t seem happy about the situation the way his brother was, but he wasn’t doing anything to prevent it either.
“I don’t want to see them,” I tell her, my voice shaking but my intention firm. “I’m not sure what the situation with Michael was since he didn’t seem to be enjoying my suffering the way the other two did, but he didn’t help me either.”
“I’ll handle it,” Sofia assures me. “You go. Get cleaned up and get out of here. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, pulling her into a one-armed hug. The words are woefully inadequate, but they’re all I have.
“Let’s go, Kitten,” Ryan says. “We’ll get washed up and on the road.”
Ryan and I walk up the stairs, and when we reach the first floor, he steers me away from the carnage that had unfolded. A warrior directs us to the bathroom and lets us know he will grab us some clothes.
Ryan turns on the water and tests the temperature. “You can shower first. I’ll wait outside.”
“I don’t want to be alone,” I say, hearing how his heartbeat ratchets up when I step closer to him.
I have no idea how long it was that I couldn’t access my tiger and her enhanced senses, but it felt like I was missing a limb.
I don’t know how I suppressed her for so long.
Without her, I wouldn’t know that Ryan’s heart is pounding.
I wouldn’t be able to smell the changes in his feelings and detect the longing and desperation amongst the acrid smell of blood.
“Can you help me out of my clothes?” I ask him. “My shoulder was dislocated, and it still hurts.”
Ryan whimpers before raising his hands and gently unbuttoning the last remains of my blouse. I would never wear it again, even if it hadn’t been all but destroyed, but the tender touch after the destruction soothes my soul, and I think Ryan needs it too.
I let go of the scraps of my skirt as he pushes the blouse over my shoulders without ever touching my skin.
His face pales and his mouth presses into a tight line when he takes in the welts across my chest from my attacker’s belt.
I turn around slowly, and he unclips my bra.
Next, he hooks his thumbs into my underwear and slides them down my hips, leaving me bare before him.
I step under the spray and hold out my hand for Ryan to join me. He hangs back a moment, his eyes staring into mine.
“You’ve been through so much,” he says, his voice ragged. “We haven’t even had a chance to talk about it.”
“I know, and we will talk. But for now, I just need you. I need my mate.”
Ryan lets out a low rumble before stepping under the water with me.
He reaches for the shower gel and begins to wash away the blood that coats his bare skin.
Unlike previous showers where he focused his energy on me, tonight he scrubs his own body, removing every trace of blood.
The lather turns pink, running down the drain before revealing Ryan’s beautiful skin and the already healing wounds from the fight.
He continues to scrub far past the point of cleaning, as if he’s trying to erase the memory. But he doesn’t need to.
“Ryan,” I say, placing my hands on his. He doesn’t look at me, just stares down as if he has done something unforgivable.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “You deserve so much better. Someone who wouldn’t lose it like I did.”
“I needed you to lose it,” I tell him, pressing my face to his chest. “I needed you, and you came. You saved me. Now I need you to touch me, hold me, and never let me go.”
His breath hitches before he looks up, meeting my eyes.
And then he threads his hands into my hair and kisses me.
His lips press against mine, soft and firm at the same time.
It’s a kiss that promises he will always be there, that he will vanquish my foes and put back the pieces of my broken heart. It’s a claim and a vow.
It’s no more questions and doubts.
It’s forever.
“I’m ready,” I tell him, breaking away from the kiss just enough to see his face.
“Not tonight,” Ryan says, brushing a wet strand of hair off my face. “Not as a reaction to what you’ve been through. When I claim you, there will be no doubt that it’s everything you want. There will be romance and flowers, and I won’t need to be careful not to hurt you when I fuck you.”
I close my eyes and lean against him. He’s right. I know he is. So instead, we comfort each other with our connection. We let the bond wrap around us, only climbing out of the shower when the water starts to run cold.
We dress in the baggy sweatpants and t-shirts that the warriors left for us. Ryan scoops me up and carries me to the entrance. It’s unnecessary, but I’m not complaining. I need this. The safety and the reassuring buzz of our mate bond.