44. Cassian
Cassian
Blood pounds in my head as I drive my dad’s Jeep over the heath, rain sluicing the windshield as the wipers try to keep up. If I focus too long on the thought of Viv out here in this mess without any shelter, I won’t be able to see straight.
What the hell was she thinking, going out in a storm?
I knew she was upset, but when she headed to the stables, I assumed she was just going to spend time with Rhya.
Before she called, I was wearing a path in the library’s Persian rug, waiting for her to get back so I could make sure she was all right.
Now she’s out here with a downed horse, and I’m not entirely sure what we’re going to do if we can’t get Rhya up, but I’m praying with all my heart that won’t be the case. I already placed a call to the vet so they’re prepared in case she’s injured.
I call Viv back to find out exactly where they are. It’s dark, and the Jeep’s headlights only illuminate a small section of heath at a time. It could take me all night to find them, but I refuse to dwell on that.
After searching another half hour, my high beams finally sweep over Viv’s figure on the ground. Rhya’s dark form is harder to make out, but when I get closer, I can see her lying next to Viv.
At the sound of the SUV, Viv gets to her feet. She hesitates, as if she’s not sure she should approach me. Jumping out of the car, I haul her into my arms.
She lets out a shuddering breath as I clutch her against my chest. “Thank you for coming.”
“I would’ve searched all night if I had to.” She’s drenched all the way through, and her teeth are chattering nonstop. “Get into the car while I help Rhya.”
Viv shakes her head. “I’m going to help.”
“Viv, you’re going to get sick if you stay in the rain.”
“I don’t care. I’m not leaving her.”
I sigh and turn to the horse. She’s lying on her side, but I can’t see any obvious wounds. “What happened?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I think she slipped.”
I don’t know much about horses besides how to ride one. This is a job for a vet. “Let’s see if we can get her to her feet.”
Viv tugs on the reins while I pull on Rhya’s shoulder. I may be strong, but there’s no way I can deadlift 1,500 pounds of horse. A surge of relief rushes through me when the mare kicks her legs and manages to get to her feet.
“Oh my god,” Viv cries when she is standing once again. She throws her arms around Rhya’s neck. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“It looks like she’s favoring her front leg.” I grab her bridle and begin walking to the Jeep. Rhya follows, but there’s a noticeable limp in her gait. I tie her reins to the SUV’s hitch. “I’ll drive slow,” I tell Viv before opening her door.
She gives Rhya one more kiss and climbs inside the car, and I crank the heat as high as it will go. Grabbing a blanket my dad keeps in the back seat, I toss it across Viv’s lap.
“We need to get you warm,” I say, putting the car into gear.
“After I know Rhya’s going to be okay,” she says, but she tucks the throw around her shoulders.
“She’ll be fine.” I may not have much experience with animals, but I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that statement is true. “The vet is meeting us at the barn.”
As we head back, I turn all my attention to traversing the smoothest path across the moor. The last thing we need is for Rhya to slip again.
“My dad’s going to kill me,” Viv whispers, keeping her face turned to the window, which is still being lashed by rain.
“I won’t let him.”
She stays silent, but I know what she’s thinking. She’s beating herself up for taking Rhya out when she knew it was dangerous. Sure, it was a foolish mistake, but it was a mistake.
“It’s not your fault,” I say. When she doesn’t look at me or say anything, I try again. “You’ve been under a lot of pressure recently. You can’t blame yourself.”
Viv still says nothing, and after everything that’s happened between us, this might gut me the most. The reality that it really might be over between us comes crashing in.
“Vivvy, don’t shut me out.” My voice cracks, but I don’t care.
I can’t stand to see her push me away, even if that’s exactly what she should be doing.
I might be keeping us apart for her sake, but I’m just as selfish as the next person.
Even if I’m not willing to let her throw her life away on me, I sure as hell still want her as my friend.
Her finger presses against the window, tracing the path of a raindrop. I glance in the rearview mirror and can just make out Rhya’s form still hobbling along behind us. The sooner I can get all of us to shelter, the better.
An hour later, the vet has inspected Rhya and bandaged her leg. “It’s important that she not put much weight on it,” he says, looking at Vivienne.
Her face is drawn with worry, and she lifts a hand to her throat. She’s still wearing her wet clothes, despite the fact that I brought her a clean set from the house. They’re at least no longer dripping. “Will she ever compete again?”
“It’s too early to say.” The doctor gives her a stern look over the top of his glasses. “But I wouldn’t make any plans.”
I wrap an arm around Viv before she can sink to the barn floor. “It’s going to be okay,” I murmur in her ear. “Even if she can’t compete, you have years left with her.”
She lets me pull her against me, but she doesn’t say anything, just keeps her eyes locked on Rhya, who is resting in her stall.
I thank the vet, and he assures us he’ll be back to check on Rhya every day to monitor her recovery.
After he leaves, I turn Viv to face me. “We need to get you inside.”
She keeps her gaze fixed on her horse. “I’m not leaving her.”
“Vivvy, there’s nothing you can do for her right now. She needs to rest, and so do you.”
“I’ll rest with her,” she says, moving to Rhya’s stall.
I grab her arm. “You’re soaked to the bone, baby. I can’t let you stay in these clothes.”
She glances listlessly at the sweatshirt and joggers I grabbed for her from my room. “Fine,” she says with a sigh. “I’ll change.”
Several minutes later, she emerges from the restroom, swimming in my clothes the way she always does. She manages to look as beautiful as a model despite the wet hair still hanging in her face.
I grab the hand towel from the bathroom. “Hold on,” I tell her, then wrap it around her damp strands. It won’t be a pretty sight tomorrow, but at least she won’t have water dripping on her all night.
When I’m done, she slips into Rhya’s stall and latches the door behind her. I hear the rustle of straw as she presumably settles down beside her horse. I’ll be damned if I let her sleep in there like an animal. Grabbing her wet clothes, I head to the house.
I return thirty minutes later with a thermos of soup, another of tea, several wool blankets, an army cot, and enough pillows for every horse in the barn to have one, not that I intend to share with them.
I’m bringing the first load of things in from the car when the sound of sobbing stops me inside the door. My heart seizes up in my chest. This is the second time in a matter of days that I’ve found her in tears. Who knows how often she cries when I’m not around.
Letting the door slam, I drop the supplies inside with a loud clatter. By the time I return with the next load, the sobbing has stopped. I take everything to Rhya’s stall, where Viv sits curled in a ball on the floor, her head on Rhya’s flank.
“Hey,” I say, pulling the gate open. “I brought you some things.”
She straightens as I bring the cot inside. She’s wiped her face, but her eyes are still red-rimmed. A sick ball of dread sits in my stomach. I can’t stand the thought of her crying and there being nothing I can do about it.
“I thought this might be more comfortable than concrete.” I unfold the small cot and set it in the corner. Viv doesn’t say anything, just watches me as I bring everything else in.
“Hungry?” I ask, handing her the thermos of soup.
She gives a slight shake of her head but takes it from me anyway.
“You should eat something. It’ll help warm you up.”
“Rhya’s keeping me warm.” Her voice is husky, as if her throat’s raw.
“Viv, please.” I sit down beside her. “Let me help you.”
Her eyes stay glazed over and focused on some distant object. “I’m fine, Cass.”
“You’re not fine, and it’s driving me nuts that you won’t let me do anything to help.”
She drags her gaze slowly back to me. “Okay.” I wait for her to say more, but she simply unscrews the lid of the thermos and raises it to her lips. After a few swallows, she lowers it. “Thank you. You can go. I’ll be fine.”
The last thing in the world I want is to leave her alone out here, but if she’s just going to shut me out, I’m the last thing she needs.
Getting to my feet, I look down at her. “Promise you’ll call me if there’s anything I can get you?”
She nods and offers me a sad smile. “Promise.”
With a final glance over my shoulder, I latch the stall door behind me and head back to the manor.
I know what I need to do, but I can’t do it until I’ve explored every other option.
If I ask him to come, I’ll have to keep my distance from her.
The wedding is less than three weeks away, which means every single day we have together is precious. Can I afford to waste any of them?
It’s a stupid question, one I already know the answer to. Of course I can if it means Viv getting what she needs. And right now, what she needs isn’t me.
The phone rings ten times before Bash answers. “Hey mate, I’m just about to wipe the streets with some wanker’s ass. You’re never going to believe this. He’s driving a Tesla Model S.”
I pull the phone away from my ear as his laugh echoes through the line. “Bash, I need you to cancel the race.”
There’s a slight pause. “What’s wrong?”
“You need to get to Belgrave. Tonight,” I say. “Viv needs you.”