61. Cassian
Cassian
“I’m really going to be your first?” I say, looking down at Viv. I still can’t believe she’s beneath me and that we’re really doing this.
“Technically, first and only.” Her teeth find their way to her bottom lip. “Is that okay?”
I huff out a breath through my nose. “Is that okay?” I repeat, thrusting my hand into my hair again. “You just told me you’ve never been with anyone, and you’re asking if that’s okay with me?”
She blinks, looking confused. “Sorry, I just . . . What are you saying?”
“I’m saying”—I press my nose against her neck—“that you have no idea how turned on I am right now.” Grabbing her hand, I move it to my erection.
Her eyes widen. “So you’re not disappointed that I don’t have experience?”
I snort and press her deeper into the bed. “Disappointed is the last thing I am.” Even if she wasn’t saving herself for me, the fact that I’ll be the first man—the only man—to put my hands on her makes me feel like Superman. “Besides, I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
She gasps as I claim her mouth, using my teeth on that lip she bites so often.
Moving over her, I let my weight settle on top of her.
She’s like an incredible dream, the kind you hope you never wake up from.
Soft and supple beneath my hands, but fiery and fierce when I kiss her.
I can only imagine what she’ll be like when I claim her with my whole body.
Pushing up onto my elbow, I gaze down. I don’t think I’ll ever get my fill of looking at her.
“What?” she says, wrinkling her brow.
“I love you.” I drop a kiss onto her collarbone.
“I love you, too,” she says. “I’ve always loved you.”
“There was that one summer,” I mumble against her skin.
“What summer?”
“Chase Donohue?”
She smacks my arm. “I was eight, and it was a stupid crush. It only lasted until the end of the weekend.”
“Didn’t stop me from becoming insanely jealous.” I hide my smile against her skin. She smells like an orange creamsicle.
“He used to wipe his boogers on his pants.”
“What a wanker.”
“Did you know he—”
“Enough talk about him.” I close my mouth around her nipple, and she squirms and groans beneath me. When I’m done tormenting her, I release it. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come to my senses.”
She places her palm on my cheek. My chest grows tight at the look in her eyes.
“You deserve so much more than me,” I say, “but you also deserve to be loved every second of your existence, and there is no one who will love you more than I do. I don’t have much, but every single damn thing I have is yours.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “Cass . . .” Her hands explore my chest, tracing the lines of my tattoos, dipping into the valleys between my muscles, stroking my skin until I’m ready to explode.
When she presses her palms against me, I allow her to roll me over onto my back.
She gazes down at me as if I’m an expensive piece of art and she’s looking for the perfect spot to hang me.
“What are you doing?” I ask, amused.
“There are so many things I want to do to you.”
Blood surges to my cock, which is already straining against the fabric of my shorts. “I’m all yours.”
“You mean that?”
“Of course. You can do anything you want to me.”
Her tongue darts out to lick her lips as she reaches for my waistband. “Can I—”
My eyes widen as I intuit her meaning. “Anything but that.”
“Why not?”
“Because . . .” Shutting my eyes, I tilt my head back into the bed, trying to eradicate the images of her sucking me before I blow in my pants. “Fuck, Vivvy. Not that.”
Her hand closes over me, gently stroking before rubbing her thumb over my tip. I fight to retain control. “You said I could do anything I want,” she says.
“Vivvy, please,” I rasp.
“I know I’m new at this, but do you really think I’ll be that bad at it?”
My eyes fly open. “That’s not why.”
“Then why won’t you let me taste you?”
A groan slips past my lips as I imagine her mouth wrapped around my cock. “Because I don’t deserve it, and because if you do, I won’t last long at all.”
Her grip on me tightens, and I press back into the cushions as I try to ignore the feelings she’s stirring up. “Don’t say that,” she whispers.
“Vivvy . . .” It comes out as a plea. “You know I can’t say no to you. Don’t ask this of me.”
One corner of her mouth tilts up into a smile. “I’m not asking.”
My breath hisses through my teeth as she yanks my shorts down and frees my erection. Licking her lips once more, she bends over me. Her hair falls like a curtain around her face, and she looks so damn beautiful, I want to cry.
Head still bent, she gazes at me, those green eyes sparkling with mischief. “Tell me if I’m doing it right.” She grips me firmly, then lowers her head and swirls her tongue over my tip.
“Fuck,” I yell as my body convulses from that single lick.
She takes me into her warm, wet mouth, and I nearly come apart.
Only by staring at the ceiling medallions above us do I manage to hold it together.
I breathe deeply through my nose as she continues sucking my cock, counting my breaths so I don’t look down.
One glance at her lips wrapped around me, and I’ll—
Viv moans as she takes me deeper, and I reach for her shoulders. “Enough,” I say hoarsely. “Stop.”
Sitting on her heels with a dazed expression, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Did I do it right?”
“You were perfect, baby,” I say, grabbing her and pinning her onto the bed. “But I need to be inside you.”
Before kicking off my shorts, I grab a condom from my wallet. It’s crumpled, but not expired, fortunately. I haven’t had sex since coming to Belgrave two months ago. The fact that I will be with Viv in a few seconds is mind-blowing.
I roll it on, then collapse next to her, stroking her incredibly soft skin with my rough palm. Tiny tremors shudder through her whole body. “You okay?” I ask.
She gives a small nod. “Will it hurt?”
“Maybe a little?” I’ve never been with a virgin before, but I’ll die before I hurt her more than necessary. “I’ll go slow. Do you trust me?”
Her smile is sunshine on a warm day. “More than anyone in the entire world.”
Thick, hot emotion floods my chest, and I give her a kiss that quickly turns deeper. Losing a hand in her hair, I bring her face closer to mine as I explore her mouth. The taste of her would be enough to drive any sane man mad. It nearly sends me over the fucking edge.
Reaching down between her legs, I slip a finger inside.
She’s already wet for me, and I glide in without hesitation.
She moans and arches her back, so I pull it out and thrust it in again, making her repeat the motion.
When she pushes her breasts into the air, I take one into my mouth, giving her a hard suck as I fuck her with my hand.
Eyes closed, head tilted back, neck exposed, Viv looks like a goddess. I can only imagine how beautiful she’ll be when I’m pushing into her with my cock.
I slide my finger out and add a second, pushing both in as far as I can. She takes it like a champ. “Good girl,” I murmur. “I think you’re ready.”
She whimpers and thrashes on the bed, needing relief she’s only going to get from me. I rub my dick through her moisture, then find her entrance. Her eyes flutter open, and she locks onto my gaze.
I drop down to my elbows. “You’re amazing.” I push into her a fraction, watching her face for any signs of pain. “Good?”
“Mmm,” she purrs. “So good.”
I’m so damn close to spilling my load just from looking at her. Easing myself in another inch, I give her time to adjust. When she doesn’t even flinch, I fill her up a little more.
“Oh god, Cass,” she says, tilting her head back.
I freeze. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she moans. “I just wish you’d hurry up.”
Letting out a sound of relief, I push in slowly, filling her to the brim. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
She gasps, and I immediately pull out several inches, but she grabs me. “Please,” she says. “Don’t stop.”
“You sure?”
When she nods, I thrust back in, slower than I want to but harder than I had planned when she first told me she was a virgin. A flash of pain crosses her face.
“Shit,” I say, pulling back.
“Cass, please. I’m fine. It feels good.” Her eyes open and find mine. “Really.”
I search her expression for any sign that she’s lying, but I find none. “I hate hurting you.”
“You’re not,” Viv says, reaching up to stroke my face. “Not really. Besides, it’s kind of unavoidable, right?”
I rest my forehead against hers. “That doesn’t mean I want to.”
“I’d rather it was you than anyone else.”
“You’d better,” I mutter, gripping her hip. “You’ll tell me if it’s too much?” She nods, and I ease back into her.
Going slow has its advantages. For one, I last longer, even though I’m surprised I didn’t blow in the first five minutes.
I’ve fantasized about this for years—the way she’d taste, the sight of her naked, the sounds she’d make, how she’d feel.
Turns out, the real thing is a million times better than my best fantasy.
I feel her tighten around me, and I know she’s close. I’ve heard girls don’t always climax the first time, and the fact that this will be her second of the day makes me more than a little proud.
“You’re doing fantastic,” I tell her. “You take me so well.”
“Cass, I think I’m going to—” As the orgasm hits, she lets out a gasping cry.
I wish I could thoroughly enjoy watching her, but the sight brings about my own release. I groan her name as I pulse inside her before collapsing.
I rouse to the scent of her hair mingled with that of sex. Viv gazes at me with sleepy eyes. “That was . . . out of this world,” she whispers.
“It was fucking incredible,” I mumble. I’m still buried in her, but I don’t have the energy to move. It feels as if every bone in my body has turned into lava.
“Now what?” She trails her fingers over my back, making goosebumps pop up.
“Now we do it again.”