Chapter 75
The place Gianna had suggested turned out to be a small riverside park around fifteen minutes away from Kairi's apartment.
Hindi ito iyong typical na park na talagang pinupuntahan ng mga tao para tumambay.
More like a quiet stretch of pavement lined with benches and old trees, with a narrow walkway overlooking the river.
Every now and then, may dumadaang jogger.
Sa dulo ng path, isang matandang lalaki ang tahimik na nagbabasa ng diyaryo.
Other than that, tahimik ang lugar. No crowds. No noise.
More importantly, they had never been here together.
There were no memories waiting for them here.
Kairi arrived twenty minutes early and she hated herself for it.
Umupo siya sa isang bench, elbows resting on her knees habang nakatingin sa ilog. She'd promised herself na aalis siya sa apartment exactly on time. Instead, umalis siya nang mas maaga. Naglakad pa siya nang mas mabagal than usual. Pero siya pa rin ang unang dumating.
Some things never changed and that thought irritated her more than it should have.
Almost three years and she was still waiting for Gianna.
A bitter laugh escaped her as she leaned back against the bench, her gaze drifting toward the cloudless sky. Cool ang hangin and the afternoon was almost painfully clear.
It felt unfair somehow. Paano naging ganito ka-ordinary ang araw na ito? How could the world keep moving as if this wasn't one of the strangest days of her life?
"Kairi."
Nanigas ang buong katawan niya.
The voice sounded different in daylight. Softer. Less startling than it had been last night.
Dahan-dahang nag-angat ng tingin si Kairi and there, Gianna stood a few feet away.
Nagpalit na siya ng damit since last night. The dark fitted shirt she had worn at the bar was gone, replaced with something simpler. At ngayong wala na ang dim lights at crowd na nakapaligid sa kanila, she looked less guarded. More real.
For several seconds, neither of them moved.
Then Kairi slowly stood.
"Hi."
Napakurap si Gianna bago lumitaw ang isang maliit at almost disbelieving smile sa labi niya.
"Hi."
And then nothing.
Dati, kaya nilang mag-usap nang ilang oras nang hindi nauubusan ng mapag-uusapan.
Now, neither of them seemed to know what to do with their hands.
Or where to look.
Or kung gaano sila dapat kalapit sa isa't isa.
After a moment, Gianna gestured toward the bench, her fingers curling slightly as if even that small movement felt uncertain.
"Can I sit?"
Tumango si Kairi. "Yeah."
They sat down. Hindi sila masyadong magkalapit, pero hindi rin naman ganoon kalayo.
The river flowed in front of them habang marahang gumagalaw ang mga dahon ng puno sa itaas nila dahil sa hangin.
For a long moment, tahimik lang silang nakaupo.
Then, almost at the same time, pareho silang bahagyang lumingon.
Their eyes met.
At gaya ng inaasahan, pareho rin silang agad umiwas ng tingin.
Kairi almost laughed.
This was ridiculous. After years of grief, years of questions, years of imagining exactly how this moment would go, hindi man lang nila kayang magtinginan nang maayos.
Makalipas ang ilang sandali, napatingin ulit si Kairi kay Gianna.
At tumingin din si Gianna sa kanya.
When their eyes met once more, neither of them looked away.
Something flickered across Gianna's face. Surprise, maybe. Or the realization that Kairi wasn't the girl she'd left behind.
She wasn't anymore.
Almost three years ago, she still looked like a student. May softness pa sa features niya noon and there had still been uncertainty in the way she carried herself.
Now, she looked older. More confident, like an adult.
And suddenly, the realization felt strange and unbearably sad.
Because they had missed so much.
Gianna had never seen her graduate. Never seen her move into an apartment. She'd missed all the little changes that happened so quietly Kairi herself barely noticed them-the ones that, little by little, had turned her into the person sitting here now.
And Kairi-
Kairi knew nothing about who Gianna had become either.
Gianna finally looked away first.
"How's university?"
Napakurap si Kairi, almost caught off guard by how normal the question sounded.
"It's okay."
A faint smile appeared on Gianna's face.
"Just okay?"
That earned the smallest smile from Kairi too.
"I'm doing well."
Dahan-dahang tumango si Gianna, looking almost relieved by her answer in a way that made something tighten in Kairi's chest.
"What year are you now?" Gianna asked, kahit alam naman na niya ang sagot.
"Third."
"Third year already."
Kairi almost laughed, because yes. It had been a long time. Pero instead of saying any of that, tumango lang siya.
Tinanong ni Gianna kung anong degree ang pinili niyang kunin and Kairi answered. Then came questions about her apartment, about living with Zoe and Maya.
Kairi answered every question.
And little by little, she realized that the questions themselves weren't really important. That Gianna was simply trying to know her again. Trying to catch up on all the years she had missed.
Simple lang ang pag-uusap nila, careful and tentative. Parang dalawang taong sinusubukang alalahanin kung paano muling makipag-usap sa isa't isa after forgetting a language they once knew by heart.
Eventually, Kairi turned to look at her.
"How about you?"
The question seemed simple enough, but Gianna immediately fell silent.
It wasn't a long silence. Just long enough for Kairi to realize she didn't know anything anymore.
Hindi na niya alam kung saan nakatira si Gianna. Kung saan ito nagtatrabaho. Kung ano ang routine nito, o kung sinu-sino ang mga taong bahagi na ng araw-araw nitong buhay.
She didn't know what time she woke up, what kind of coffee she drank, whether she still stayed up late reading, or if she'd found new places she loved.
Somewhere along the way, they'd become strangers.
Bahagyang ibinaba ni Gianna ang tingin niya bago tuluyang sumagot.
"I stopped teaching."
Napakurap si Kairi, her fingers tightening slightly against her lap.
"Really?"
Gianna nodded.
"I work at an art gallery now."
"Do you like it?"
A small smile appeared on Gianna's face. A real one.
"Yeah."
She looked toward the river before continuing.
"It's quieter. I get to spend my days around paintings instead of lesson plans."
"That sounds like you, Miss."
Gianna glanced at her.
"Does it?"
"Yeah."
Kairi smiled faintly.
"It feels like something you'd choose."
For a brief moment, something warm flickered across Gianna's face.
The conversation faded into silence again.
This time, neither of them tried to fill it.
Kairi looked back at the river.
Napag-usapan na nila ang tungkol sa university. About work. Friends. Apartments.
All the ordinary things people asked when they were trying to make up for lost time.
But none of those were the reason they were here.
Eventually, Kairi spoke again pero humina na ang boses niya.
"Why did you really leave?"
Everything changed immediately.
Biglang natahimik si Gianna sa tabi niya. Her hands slowly folded together in her lap.
For a long moment, hindi siya sumagot. Then-
"It's because I couldn't stay."
Pumikit si Kairi.
Halos matawa pa siya, pero hindi dahil nakakatawa iyon. She just couldn't believe she was hearing the same answer again.
"No." Her voice shook as she turned toward Gianna. "No, Miss. Not that again."
Tumingin si Gianna sa kanya.
And suddenly, all the frustration Kairi had been trying to keep under control since last night came rushing back.
After almost three years. After last night. After finally seeing each other again.
Hindi niya kayang makinig na naman sa isa pang malabong sagot kaya tuluyan siyang humarap kay Gianna.
"Why?"
Nanatiling tahimik si Gianna.
At nakatitig lang si Kairi sa kanya.
Then she laughed softly. The sound came out strained.
"Did you ever think about me?"
Agad na nag-angat ng tingin si Gianna.
"Kairi-"
"Answer me."
Her voice cracked.
"Miss, did you know I looked for you?"
Unti-unting nagbago ang expression ni Gianna.
"Did you know I waited for you?" patuloy ni Kairi, her breathing slowly becoming uneven. "Did you know I kept asking Ella about you? Na akala ko may nangyari na sayo?"
Silence.
Nothing.
Kairi let out another laugh and this one sounded painful even to her own ears.
"You disappeared!"
Her eyes were burning now.
"You left and I had no idea why."
Saglit siyang umiwas ng tingin at mariing napalunok.
"I kept thinking maybe may nasabi akong mali. Baka masyado akong nagpumilit. Maybe...Maybe I just wasn't enough for you to stay."
Gianna looked like she could barely breathe.
Pero hindi na kayang tumigil ni Kairi.
Not now. Not after carrying all of this for years.
"I blamed myself for everything."
Nagsimula nang manginig ang mga kamay niya.
"For years, paulit-ulit kong binabalikan lahat sa isip ko kasi akala ko there had to be a reason. I thought maybe if I had done something differently, you wouldn't have left."
Dahan-dahang bumalik ang tingin niya kay Gianna.
Namumula na ang mga mata niya.
"I thought..."
Naputol ang mga salita sa lalamunan niya at muli siyang napalunok.
Once.
Twice.
Then she forced herself to say it.
"I thought you regretted me."
The moment the words left her mouth, something in Gianna completely broke.
"No," agad na pagtanggi ni Gianna na namumula na rin ang mga mata. "Kairi, no. I never regretted you."
A tear slipped down her cheek bago pa niya ito mapigilan.
"I regretted myself. Never you."
The words came out almost like a plea.
"Never you, Kairi."
The river kept flowing.
Somewhere behind them, a jogger's footsteps faded into the distance.
A page of the old man's newspaper rustled in the breeze.
The world hadn't stopped. It only felt like it had.
Kairi couldn't move because there wasn't even a hint of hesitation in Gianna's voice.
There was no uncertainty. No doubt. Only grief and regret.
And Kairi believed her.
Ibinaba ni Gianna ang tingin niya.
For a long moment, wala siyang sinabi.
Her fingers remained tightly intertwined in her lap, knuckles pale from how hard she was holding onto herself.
And when she finally spoke again, sobrang hina ng boses niya that Kairi almost thought she had imagined it.
"I loved you."