Chapter Fourteen
Jax
I hadn’t been asleep for very long when Thanh’s screaming had me launching myself off the couch. I was ready to kill, to maim, if someone was in there with her. For some reason in my sleep-addled brain, I was worried that Sherrod had gotten in her room.
But when I walked in there and saw her sitting in the middle of the bed, swinging her arms, eyes closed as she continued to howl, I realized that whatever was tormenting her was far beyond my ability to vanquish. So I did what little I could, trying to wake her up, holding her and humming the song Mother always had sung to me when I’d had nightmares.
When she started to relax in my arms, I felt like a damn hero. And then she’d cried, poured out her fear and all the poison from those nightmares while I held her. She might not have told me what I’d done, but she trusted me with this part of her. It didn’t make sense, why be so open with me now and not before? But I didn’t really care, I was so starved for her that I’d take whatever crumbs she gave me. And I wanted to be the one she fell apart with, the one that she trusted to see the real her with all the cracks and dark places.
Before the mating instincts had awakened, I couldn’t have cared less. But now, I hungered for intimacy with her. Not just her body, but her heart and soul too. So I soaked it up, every second she clung to me, curled into me. I committed it to memory so I had something to cherish when she inevitably left me to go back to the Gex-Corps.
I thought it was done when I tucked her in but then Thanh had asked me to stay, and I found myself exactly where I was meant to be. Curled around her, holding her as she drifted off to sleep. I watched her for a while, the soft bow shape of her mouth, the fan of her dark eyelashes across her pale cheeks. Her little hand was clutching mine, as if to hold me there, even though I wouldn’t have moved for anything in the entire galaxy.
When I woke up I reached for her, only to find the place where her small body had been empty. I’d had sleepovers with plenty of partners, never had I been so disappointed to find one of them gone. And Thanh and I weren’t really even lovers, that brief interlude in the alcove notwithstanding.
I told myself that getting dressed quickly had nothing to do with the infuriating, tiny pilot. I was hungry, that was all. But with each step toward the galley, I was thinking of her, needing to see her, touch her, hear her voice. It was frightening, this voracious longing for every little bit of her. I hated to admit that she had power over me, and thank the Ancestors she hadn’t realized it yet.
It’s there whether or not she does though. And that’s disconcerting all on its own.
When I got to the galley, she was sitting with one of the older crew members, a man with several cyber implants by the name of Locke. They were playing a card game that was very similar to poker. I lingered in the doorway, her back halfway to me, and watched them play. If anyone had told me that not only would the princess of Nguyen Industries participate in a pirate marking ceremony, but she’d be playing cards with a crusty old crewman the next day, I’d have said they were high on something. Yet, here she was, the darling of the academy, sipping shashim , munching on my father’s flat bread and shaking down an old man for his wages.
“Okay, I wager four crowns,” Thanh said.
I winced, that was a high bet for a beginner.
“Do ya now?” Locke asked, squinting his one flesh and blood eye. “Are ya sure? That’s a might large bet for a beginner. Wouldn’t ya rather make a smaller bet?”
“No, I think I like this one.”
Oh shit. I’ve seen that look before. Right before she took the captain for about a hundred credits.
“Well then, when yer husband comes complainin’ that I took advantage, you’ll have ta tell him that it weren’t my fault.”
“You will not be in trouble, I promise.”
Locke flipped over the worn set of white and green tiles.
“A negari straight,” he said proudly.
Thanh bit her bottom lip with a look of apology on her face as she flipped over her tiles.
“Um…a royal bargain.”
Locke sat there, jaw dropped for a moment before a high pitch cackle sounded in the galley. He slapped his leg and shook his head.
“Oh boy! The Seventh Son is gonna have his hands full with you, ain’t he, girlie?”
Locke moved the small stack of markers toward her and Thanh stopped him.
“This was for learning, not profit.”
“Everything is for profit, you’re the Seventh Daughter, ya gotta learn that fast.”
“But I can’t take —”
“Ya can and ya will, unless ya want to insult me.”
Lock crossed his arms across his chest and gave her a hard look. He wasn’t being entirely honest. It wasn’t an insult, and most pirates wouldn’t give a shit if someone wanted to give them money, no matter how it came their way. But Thanh was, as far as they knew, their future queen, and so Locke wanted to show her respect. She’d beaten him fair and square, and he wasn’t going to let her cheat herself out of a profit.
“Alright, I’ll take it under one condition,” Thanh said.
“What’s that?”
“I can buy you a round of drinks the next time we’re planet side together.”
Locke grinned.
“Now that’s a deal.”
I strode into the galley and both Thanh and Locke looked up at me. His grin widened while hers became a little tense, which hit me like a blow to the stomach.
“Ya got one hell’uva wife here, sir,” Locke said.
“She’s pretty amazing.”
“Damn straight, quite the gambler too. I’d love to take her to a casino sometime, she’d shake down some of them hoity-toity fucks, that’s fer sure.”
He chortled as he slapped me on the back and waddled out of the galley, either to his shift or his bunk. When he was gone, Thanh busied herself with putting the tiles away while I grabbed some of the food that was laid out for whoever was awake. Most of the crew had schedules determined by their own internal clocks, depending on what shifts they had. When I’d been on the ship, mine was attuned to my parents, but there was always someone awake, so some were just going to bed, while others were at the beginning or middle of their shifts.
“Have you eaten?” I asked.
“Um…yeah.”
“You want another cup of shashim ?”
She glanced down at her mug and nodded. I brought the carafe to the table, with the cream and sugar, then my plate.
“I thought it was coffee,” she said, sipping the dark brew. “It’s good, what is it?”
“A Mishvaian herbal tea of sorts. It has to be steeped for two days and then strained and heated up. Mother calls it shashim.”
She nodded, looking everywhere but at me.
“We should talk about last night,” she said, her voice halting.
“Okay, what do you want to say?”
Thanh opened her mouth and stopped. Then she cleared her throat and fidgeted with the handle of her mug.
“I’m…not used to anyone seeing me like that. Ever,” she finally managed.
“You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed,” I said. “I was glad to be there for you. And I’ll never say a thing about it. I’ll never use it against you.”
I hated that I had to say that but with our history, I knew it was probably on her mind.
“I feel like I shouldn’t, but I believe you. I just…I don’t understand why but…it felt good to have you there.”
My chest puffed out a bit, and a grin spread slowly on my face. There was more than a little bit of my mating instincts firing too, a primal thread of logic that believed I’d proven to her that I was a good protector, that I would keep her safe. Pride was a heady fucking drug, and I thought that maybe I could finally get the answer to the question that had haunted me all these years.
“Can you tell me what I did?” I didn’t care that I sounded like I was begging. “I know that you feel like I should know but seriously, Thanh, I have no fucking idea what I did, and I want to be your friend, but I know that can’t happen with this between us.”
She closed her eyes.
“How can you not know?”
The broken whisper of her voice gutted me.
“Thanh, I —”
The coms overhead sounded and my mother’s voice cut in, calling us both to her quarters.
“Shit,” I said, running a hand over my horns in frustration. “This conversation isn’t done.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed with a hard set to her mouth.
I was very glad we didn’t finish talking about the plan for meeting Sherrod last night. I would not have been able to keep my cool. As it was, I couldn’t sit still to save my fucking life.
I paced back and forth in my room, bare feet slapping on the floor as I tried to calm myself down.
Sherrod’s club was a kink establishment, and only those with specific bracelets were allowed inside, making it one of the most exclusive clubs on a planet that prided itself on providing any and all kinds of entertainment. Mother had procured the bracelets for us and they clearly delineated that a Dom and a sub had to use them.
Which meant Sherrod was definitely fucking with me because he knew which one I was. And he also knew that I’d have to put myself into someone’s care in a way I hadn’t since him.
Or at least, I assumed he knew, since I hadn’t talked to him in twelve years.
That was how I found myself in leather pants and a simple black collar and nothing else, not even shoes. The barbell piercings in my nipples caught the light, something that I’d had long before Sherrod, but hadn’t really put on display since him. I wondered how Thanh would like them, and then had to take a deep breath.
Thanh as my Dom was something I had never, ever thought I’d see. But I didn’t even get the chance to tell her that I preferred being a sub before she gave me a feral smile and plucked the Dom bracelet from the table.
“I always thought you’d look good in a collar and leash,” and she’d kissed me, slow and teasing.
If we hadn’t been in front of my parents, I would’ve begged her for more. But as it was, I flushed deeply and they hurriedly finished up the rest of the meeting.
When we’d reached my suite, Thanh very calmly told me that she was going to find something to wear. I gathered my clothes from the closet and changed in the sitting area. That had been about thirty minutes ago and I hadn’t seen or heard anything from her. Was asking her to do this crossing a line? Was she uncomfortable, in spite of how she’d acted?
It didn’t help that our conversation lay unfinished between us like a giant cloud of tension. I had been wracking my brain, running over every single moment of my time with her prior to the shuttle accident in an effort to figure out what I’d done. There were dozens of small moments, slights and disagreements both public and private from our time at the academy, but none of them rose to the heights of causing so much enmity on her part.
Narrou chimed above me, interrupting my thoughts and I nodded with a long breath.
“Thanh? Our shuttle to the surface is ready.”
“And so am I.”
I turned around at the sound of her voice from the doorway and nearly died.
Her hair was in an intricate braided pattern with small pins of gold flowers woven throughout. Gold eyeshadow and black eyeliner made her eyes shine like stars. She wore a black sleeveless turtleneck bodysuit with a cut out that exposed the lush line of her cleavage. I remembered the feel of those full breasts in my hands, the peak of her nipple in my mouth, and I started to extrude.
Her perfect ass was hugged by gold shorts that exposed most of her leg, down to the black and gold knee high platform boots she wore. Large gold hoops hung from her ears, and in her hand was gold chain with a clip on the end.
Ancestors help me…she’s holding my leash.
I swallowed and her dark eyes followed the bob of my Adam’s apple, which brushed against the collar at my throat. Slowly, as my eyes latched onto her, Thanh sauntered over to me. Her fingertips ran over the collar until she came to the ring in the center. She looped her index finger into it and yanked.
I bent down gladly, holding my breath as I waited for her to do whatever the hell she wanted. With her eyes on mine, she deliberately attached the leash to the ring and then grinned.
“Safe word?” she whispered.
We weren’t planning on playing at the club, at least not much. This was supposed to be an undercover meeting, so while we had to look and act the part, taking this as far as I wanted probably wasn’t going to happen. The only reason I could think of as to why she would need to know my safe word was to make sure she didn’t cross any lines while we were pretending. Since we hadn’t done this before, and didn’t have a lot of time to talk out boundaries, it made sense.
But my mind wasn’t exactly functioning on logic at the moment. Instead it was flooded with images of her lashing me with a flail as I was tied to a St. Andrew’s cross. Or kneeling at her feet and eating her pussy while I was painfully unsatisfied.
So it was no wonder that my voice was ragged when I whispered, “Nova.”
Thanh nodded slowly and released me. My eyes were locked on every single move she made, every strand of hair, every breath. It was probably the only reason I noticed the way she favored her left side, the tiny tense pucker at the corners of her mouth when she moved a certain way.
I walked over to the cabinet next to my bar and withdrew a hypo.
“I asked Da to bring this, I didn’t tell him who it was for.” I held it up and her smile shifted. “You don’t need to be in pain, let me help you. Please?”
Those dark eyes that contained so many mysteries I longed to unravel, held mine and once again I saw more than the hardened, smartass pilot. I saw a woman with strength and fears, with depths I wanted to know so bad I could hardly breathe.
Thanh swallowed and then gave me a short nod.
“I need words.”
“Isn’t that my line?” she asked.
“Usually, yes. But this is important. I need to hear you say it.”
Thanh took a deep breath and blinked away the growing tears in her eyes.
“I trust you, Jax.”
Never before had four words had the power to bring me to my knees and when I did kneel before her, we were the same height. I could look her square in the dark eyes that had been haunting my dreams for months.
“Thank you,” I said. “You have no idea how much that means to me. Now, where do you want it?”
She snorted and I chuckled too.
“My left hip.” And with that, she turned around and dropped those tiny shorts.
If this hadn’t been serious, if she wasn’t in pain, it would’ve been impossible to not fuck her.
The sleeveless turtleneck was a thong bodysuit and her small, round ass was on full display, split down the middle with a strip of black material. When she pulled up the left side, exposing more of her creamy flesh, I wanted to lick every inch of her, to worship and make her feel the fire that consumed me. Thanh bent over slightly and I nearly rocked my unsheathed cock into the cleft of her ass.
Instead, I took her left hip in my hand, failing to hide the small gasp as her bare flesh met my palm.
“You okay back there?” she asked, looking over her shoulder.
It was a filthy, perfect fantasy come to life. Except I wasn’t buried knot deep inside of her, and she wasn’t panting my name, begging me to make her come.
“Yeah…” My voice was raw as I positioned the hypo.
I administered the pain reliever and then withdrew it. But instead of letting her go, I placed a hot, lingering kiss to the spot. Her small hand sifted through my hair and I nuzzled her skin.
“You’ll be the death of me,” I whispered.
“I was just thinking the same about you.”
“When this is over…”
“Maybe…I don’t know. Please don’t ask me to decide right now.”
I knew that I had to give her time. Hells, I needed time too. It was crazy to think that I’d wanted to shoot her out of an airlock not five days ago. And now I’d give anything for one night between her thighs.
With great care, I slid her shorts back up until she finished positioning them on her hips and buttoned them back up. We didn’t speak again as we gathered our things and left.
It felt like being in another dimension as I followed her to the docking bay, my leash loose in her hand. Considering that the last person I’d let be my Dom had abused the privilege, I shouldn’t trust her. But after the gift she’d just given me, not just with hypo, but last night after her bad dream, I knew that I had nothing to fear. We may not have all our history sorted, but this wasn’t something she was going to use to take advantage of me.
My parents weren’t at the shuttle, which I was grateful for. We may have had a rather open relationship when it came to things, but even I would feel awkward dressed like this with Thanh. Inside the tiny shuttle we’d arrived in was a note from Mother:
“Please be careful. We will be monitoring you both through the tattoos and if there is any trouble, do not hesitate to alert us. Love you both, mother.”
I turned the note around so that Thanh could read it and her smile softened as if she hadn’t expected my mother to include her in a personal message.
She let go of the leash when we took our seats up front and cruised out of the docking bay. We had to circle around Narrou to get to the orbital station of the planet, where we were cleared in record time for approach. I assumed that had either been my mother or Sherrod flexing their influence.
As we approached the planet, I sucked in a sharp breath and stared at the place that had been my purgatory for the first five years of my life. Vector Seven had always been a rather filthy planet, with pollution so rampant that most of the larger cities had set times when you could and couldn’t be outside, depending on the air saturation. But in the years since I’d been there, it had gotten much worse. Now brown and green covered the planet in such an impenetrable layer that we could barely glimpse the lights of the cities, which had sprawled so much that when we finally broke through the pollution layer, most of the planet was just an ugly mass of orange and yellow lights. Even the water had floating cities on them, so thick that I almost couldn’t tell the where the land ended and the water began. Dotted here and there were the sparkling globes where the rich made their homes, the environment regulated to filter out the pollution and artificial sunlight giving them a semblance of normal.
The only spot on the whole planet that wasn’t populated was the wastelands on the eastern border. It was a desolate, deadly place full of giant creatures that resembled snakes that burrowed in the endless sands. There was a single power station there and a signal tower that had once been part of a GUP base. The horror stories of those who were banished there, or dragged out there by gangs to die, always gave me vicious nightmares as a child. Drones and sensors that gave off powerful electrical pulses if the creatures came too close was all that kept them from destroying the city.
Countless stupid people had tried to fly across the wastelands and back, mostly for bragging rights. The border security didn’t really care about stopping those who would take their life into their own hands like that. Most didn’t come back to tell the tale, and if they did, they were usually so badly injured that they spent weeks in a hospital.
A chill ran down my spine as we flew low enough that I swore I saw a mound moving under the darkened sands.
“You okay?” Thanh asked, preparing our descent.
“Yeah. I just hate this fucking place.”
“We won’t stay any longer than we have to.”
I punched in the landing codes we’d been given, as we approached the landing pad outside of the Sherrod’s club. We didn’t speak as we neared the brightly lit and chaotic area.
A valet code popped up on our bracelets and we both tapped acceptance of the exorbitant price for the parking just before Thanh touched down.
“This place isn’t like anywhere you’ve been,” I said, grasping Thanh’s bicep as we stood up. “Don’t go anywhere alone, and don’t, under any circumstances, let anyone know you’ve got Tohm-Tohm. Seventh Daughter or not, some of these assholes would gladly risk my mother’s wrath to make some credits.”
Her small hand covered mine and squeezed in reassurance.
“I know the drill, Jax. You don’t have to worry. Let’s just do this and get out of here, I’m not a fan of city planets.”
I gave her a short nod and held out my leash. I watched as her usual expression became sultry, mysterious. Her posture changed, not exactly straightening, but there was a definite lift to her bust. It was astounding to watch her transform into a Dom right before my eyes and I instinctively reacted. My eyes going down cast, hands loose at my sides.
“You follow me like a good boy, and do what I tell you. No sitting next to me, you’ll sit at my feet. When I want a drink, you’ll fetch it. No touching unless I tell you.”
“What should I call you?”
Her finger pressed against my chin and forced my head up. I stared into her eyes, knees longing to hit the deck.
“Mistress.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Good boy.”
Oh fuck…
A gasping whimper left my mouth and Thanh grinned cruelly at me.
“You’re going to be so much fun tonight, aren’t you?”
I followed her out of the shuttle and down the ramp, eyes down at her feet. Mine hit the cold metal of the landing pad and the sharp, metallic scent of pollution assaulted my nose. Thanh waved her hands in front of her face and made a gagging sound.
“You there,” she spat, addressing a guard, “aren’t there supposed to be respirators or at the very least masks so I don’t have to inhale this filth?”
I was taken aback by the tone she’d put on. It was imperious, bossy and dark. Not since the Academy had I seen a glimpse of this Thanh. Only this time, she was holding my leash.
My dick stirred, starting to emerge from its sheath and I let it. That was the whole point of this charade, wasn’t it?
Of course, there hadn’t been any promise of respirators since the club entrance was only a few feet away, but Thanh was putting on the mask of an entitled socialite very well. We walked quickly down the ramp while above us, an endless stream of shuttles flew in lines, following the automated lanes that this city had designated. The sky was a shifting swirl of green above us, and there were no stars in sight. Not that we could’ve seen them, even if the pollution wasn’t so thick, not with the bright illumination of the city. It was the middle of the night, but I could see as well as in the daylight. Every surface of every building was covered in shifting neon and orange.
Some of it was advertisements, some of it was news streams from the GUP. Sometimes it was just the lights of a club shining through windows or a dozen other kinds of businesses. Living spaces were underground to protect people from the pollutants, though some might as well have lived above ground, for all the good their shitty systems worked.
Sherrod’s club was not much different than any other, with its garish advertisements about monthly theme nights and orgies. There was also a menu of companions to choose from at the front, the shifting bright blue and pink lights on the readout indicating who was and was not, available. Music thumped from the round, silver building before we were even at the door where a massive Alien, whose body was made up of three bulging rings of purple flesh stacked one on top of the other, stood or sat. I couldn’t quite tell. Their four arms were crossed, their feet, which stuck out at long, odd angles under the lowest ring of bulbous flesh, were planted firmly on the ground. Two of their three eyes were taking us in, the third showing the telltale bright blue pixilation of a computer interface implant.
Thanh didn’t even acknowledge them as she scanned her bracelet and indicated for me to do the same.
“Boss said you two are to go to the back, VIP lounge,” the Alien said, voice deep.
“Tell him we’re on our way,” Thanh instructed and led me through the heavy pink and blue door.
The interior of the club was darker, with roaming spotlights of color that illuminated the dance floor, which was busier than I would’ve thought at a kink club. The sunken space was to our right, the pulsing music already driving spikes into my temples. The bar was to the left; the women working back there were dressed in tops that barely covered their breasts, and the men were topless. Suspended cages had dancers wearing next to nothing except neon necklaces that flashed prices and a ‘d’ or ‘s’ with a code that could be scanned for more info.
Thanh led me past all of this and while she didn’t have to tug on the leash, the small pressure from it was comforting, grounding me in a way I needed. It wasn’t just seeing Sherrod, but being back on this planet and all the terrible things I’d witnessed as a child. But this time, I wasn’t helpless, I wasn’t alone.
I kept repeating that to myself as Thanh led me into a wide hallway that muted the chaos of the dance floor and music. To the right was a spacious room with six different large windows that let patrons see into public playrooms. And then to the left was a much bigger space that was a communal playroom. We walked past these, even though we both paused at the communal room to see a beautiful Mishvaian woman being spanked on a bench with an ornate butt plug inserted.
A part of me wished we weren’t here on business, that Thanh and I had a very different history and we could explore our respective roles. But even if that was the case, I doubted I’d be comfortable enough to do it at Sherrod’s club.
The hall was very long, with more rooms and shorter hallways leading off it. Finally, we came to the end; a beaded curtain covering the doorway into a much quieter space with sultry musicians playing behind a scantily clad singer on a small stage to our left. Men and women sat in the darkened booths and tables while she sang. It was obvious that some were doing far more than just enjoying the music. To our right was a smaller bar made out of some kind of obsidian stone instead of the clear neon, like the one out front.
Before us was a set of stairs, which is where Thanh led us. Two Damodrids stood guard. Their pierced mandibles and nipples had jewels hanging off of them, their braids ornate and ending in gold coins, all indicating their clans and marital status, as well as their worth. These two were well connected and I wondered what they were doing playing bodyguards to Sherrod.
They scanned Thanh’s bracelet and then waved her in, admiring her ass. It was so obvious that a jealous heat stirred in my gut. A wave of possessiveness swept me under and I was suddenly acting on pure animal drive.
I bared my teeth and growled low and menacing. The whole time I’d had my eyes down as a good sub did, but this moment, I was standing tall, fury burning through my eyes. They snarled right back and my body went rigid. How dare they challenge me when it came to my mate! She was mine to ogle and admire, not theirs.
I stopped, making sure to stand tall and let them both know I was ready to defend her when Thanh jerked on the leash.
“Dearest,” she purred, digging her nails into my cheeks and pulling my face down, “they can look. The touching is all yours, remember that.”
“Yes, Mistress,” my voice thick and deep.
The two snickered, their sneering faces saying it all: that I was weak to be submissive.
Thanh gave them a lethal smirk and took my place standing before them. She was so tiny it was almost comical, but she held her own, staring them down until they both looked away.
“You two don’t have the guts to be submissive, or to be honorable to those that do. It’s shameful.”
I sucked in a breath. Did she have any idea what she’d just said to them?
To a Damodrid, honor and courage were sacrosanct. She’d just impugned their highest code and then tossed her braid and turned her back on them, as if they really didn’t matter. The two of them stared after her in complete shock and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. She’d essentially cut their balls off and flung them away like trash.
And as I followed her through the door to the private viewing room, I wondered if it was possible to fall in love with someone I’d hated only a few days before.