Chapter 8 - Nikki
Drumming her fingers, staring at the wall as she stood bored at the circulation desk, Nikki let her thoughts wander.
As they almost always did nowadays, her thoughts strayed, unbidden, toward Jasper.
She wished they wouldn’t, but apparently her thoughts didn’t particularly care about what she wanted and what she didn’t.
She was still angry. When she seriously considered what she had done, she still experienced spasms of frustration.
Still, despite her anger, she hadn’t been able to ignore the fact that he was genuinely trying.
She hadn’t missed all the small things he had done.
He insisted on doing things like running to the grocery store, and he always came back with at least two of her favorite snacks, though he still wouldn’t tell her how he had guessed.
He also seemed to be able to sense when she was having a bad day.
There had been one evening after a particularly frustrating day at work.
She hadn’t said anything about it on the way home, and she had tried not to let it show on her face just how annoyed and stressed out she was.
Once they got home, he’d stepped out again.
Within twenty minutes, he returned with a bottle of her favorite wine and two bars of her favorite chocolate.
Without waiting for her to respond, he had poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her along with the chocolate.
“If you want to talk about it, I’m more than happy to listen,” he’d said.
At first, she hadn’t known how to respond, so taken aback by just how well he’d sensed her emotions, how he had known exactly what she wanted, that she remained mute.
It wasn’t until she had initially gotten over her shock that she’d finally managed to say, “Actually, venting about it would be helpful.”
The answer surprised even herself, but she sat down and began relaying the events to Jasper, who listened without interrupting.
He was a good listener, grimacing at all the appropriate places and nodding, asking relevant questions.
His eyes never left her face, as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered.
Even while she was venting, she hadn’t been able to deny the flutter that swirled in her stomach at his gaze.
That look alone had cut through her frustration almost as much as venting about the day.
Despite herself, despite everything, she couldn’t deny that Jasper was definitely trying to make this situation work. He wanted her to feel comfortable. He gave her space when he could sense she needed it. He had never pressured her into doing anything.
As much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to soften to him. She couldn’t deny just how in tune he was with her. She wasn’t sure if it was because they thought similarly, or if it was because he paid that close attention to her. She wasn’t sure it mattered in the end.
If things had been different, if they had grown close under different circumstances, she could see herself falling for him.
She liked how much he paid attention, how well he seemed to know her.
She liked his protective instincts and his fastidiousness when it came to just about everything.
She even liked how they bantered sometimes.
It surprised her, and she didn’t want to admit that, even to herself.
He had still forced her to marry him, even if it had been out of a desire to protect her.
At the very least, she hoped it would be over soon.
Jasper seemed to think so. She, however, wasn’t so sure.
He had told her they were sending out patrols to hunt for Lucas.
However, that had been days ago, and she still hadn’t heard any update on any of it.
She was starting to think that any hopeful update Jasper gave her was more to pacify and appease her than an actual indication of anything.
Still, that raised other questions: what happened once the Lucas problem was over?
Would they get their marriage annulled? Did Jasper intend for this to keep going?
She wasn’t sure, and she hadn’t been able to bring herself to inquire one way or the other.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
At this point, as much as she hated to admit it, she wasn’t sure she knew what she wanted the answer to be in the first place.
She gnawed at her lower lip, lost in thought, trying to get a grasp on her thoughts that seemed constantly to drift despite herself.
“Nikki?”
Why was he so intent on protecting her? She still couldn’t figure out why. Was it because of what he’d told her the night before, about his father? Surely he would have done this for anyone and not just her. Or would he? Sometimes she struggled to pin him down.
“Nikki!”
She blinked, pulling herself back to reality. A dark-haired, familiar man was waiting patiently in front of her. She coughed and straightened, more than a little chagrined.
“Sorry. Hey, Vincent,” Nikki said.
“Hey!” Vincent flashed a charming grin. “How are you doing?”
She had to bite back what she really wanted to say. That she was feeling cooped up. That she was still furious she’d been forced to marry when she hadn’t wanted to. That she just wished she could sort out her emotions about Jasper so she could decide just how angry she was with him.
But as much as she liked Vincent, she wasn’t going to air her dirty laundry with him. The only person in the pack she felt remotely comfortable doing that with was Amber. It was private, and she had grown up keeping her problems to herself. Now was no different.
“I’m doing all right,” she said.
“Married life treating you okay?” he asked.
She nodded, keeping a smile on her face. She pulled the books from his hand and started scanning each one.
“It’s been nice,” she said, keeping her head down, speaking between the beeps of the scanner. She plucked the library card from his hand and swiped it. “Definitely a bit of an adjustment.”
She glanced up to see Vincent watching her intently, as if he could see the lie.
“I can imagine,” he said. “The whole thing came out of nowhere. You must really like Jasper.”
“Right, so, here are the books,” Nikki said as if she hadn’t heard him.
“Thanks! Have you had the chance to get out any lately?” Vincent asked, tucking the books under his arm.
Of course she hadn’t. Jasper rarely let her do anything unless someone, preferably him, was with her.
“Mostly I’ve just been buried in my work,” Nikki said, brushing away the question. “Library never sleeps, you know.”
“I thought libraries weren’t supposed to talk,” he said. “Though I guess it makes sense they wouldn’t sleep. The snores would probably disturb the patrons.”
Nikki laughed, breaking into a genuine grin. Vincent mirrored her expression.
“We’ve definitely had to shake more than a few people awake in order to get them from sounding like drones,” she said. “But it’s fine. All part of the job.”
“Hey, when do you get off?” Vincent asked, glancing out one of the tall windows, which showed a pristine blue sky over autumnal trees painted in red and yellow, with splashes of orange.
“I’ve been itching to get out lately, and I was thinking of going for a hike.
If you’re free, then we could go to that waterfall I was telling you about. ”
God, she used to love going on hikes. She and Amber had gone on them all through the summer, exploring the woods and mountains that surrounded the pack.
Since autumn took hold, she had been too busy to go, and lately, with the Lucas affair, she hadn’t had the chance to do much of anything.
Hiking with a friend felt like what she needed, a way back to some normalcy.
“That sounds—”
“No.”
Her head whipped around, mouth parting in surprise. Jasper was walking across the library, eyes locked on Vincent, his rage so palpable that she could practically taste it. She was sure her own expression was almost identical, though her own fury was directed at Jasper.
“Excuse me?” she asked, her voice a hiss.
“It’s not a good idea,” Jasper said, glowering at Vincent. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I’m fairly certain that’s my decision, not yours,” she bit back.
“I’m not going to let you go wandering about with someone I barely know, not considering everything going on.”
“Unbelievable,” she said, still keeping her voice low. “Un-be-lievable. And does it matter at all that I happen to know him?”
Jasper’s grin looked more like he was baring his teeth than an actual smile. “Not right now.”
Vincent had been glancing between the two of them during the exchange, shifting from foot to foot, looking more and more uncomfortable the longer the conversation went on. He coughed and glanced away.
“Maybe I should go…” Vincent muttered, taking a step away.
“That’s a good idea,” Jasper replied.
Gritting her teeth, Nikki stormed around the counter. “Can we talk in private?” she hissed. Without asking, she grabbed Jasper’s wrist and yanked him away, all but dragging him down the hall.
The staff room would be busy right now, with the shift change nearly on them and lunch.
Instead, she hauled him down the lobby, past alcoves of books, ignoring the bewildered glances from quiet library-goers before coming to stop in front of a closed door.
She shoved it open to reveal a tiny room with stacks of chairs at the far wall, taking up a large portion of the space.
She pulled him in and closed the door behind her.
“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” she snapped.
Raising his eyebrows, he folded his arms. “What do you think you’re doing? Do you realize how dangerous it is for you right now? You think going on a hike on your own is smart right now?”
“I wouldn’t be going alone!”
He snorted. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but Vincent isn’t exactly the type of guy I would expect to be able to go up against a guy like Lucas.”
“Unbelievable,” she muttered. “Vincent is my friend.”